Pls help a sister.

Barely few months in my relationship with a guy (though they av known each other back in sch), He became so serious to see my parents even when l asked him to give me more time.
Eventually, he saw my parents, did introduction, came with his pastor and some members of her family.

After this introduction, he has been acting strange. No more caring, being authoritative and i'm-the-man-of-the-house kind of behaviour.

The latest was that, he called and told me our wedding is on so so date. That the marriage committee has fixed the date. I told him that cannot be because i'm still serving (NYSC), and why fixing my weddin date without my consent?

He told me there is nothin i can do abt it, it has been decided by d church committee and that is final.

I perceived more of these ll come up after d weddin.

I'm so confused right nw. Should i continue? i'm losing interest seriously on this relationshp. I feel he ll enslave me in the name of am a man n my say is final. Pls help me. I'm down already.

I thought ladies love surprises

You'll have to love this surprise as well

Ask him if he will be authoritative after the marriage

Nice Question...
Though am a small kid buh lemme use my Understanding to answer this question...
To be Frank, this isn't a healthy relationship, this dude just wanna marry you because of many your beauty or other stuffs like that.
I swear, he didn't love you that much..Buh, something seems Fishy.How could he meet your parent for Introduction without them asking for your consent...Is he an influence person?
My dear sister, I'll ask you to pray over this to avoid regrets..
Gracais..

That's a bad sign. if u marry that man, he will become a possessive husband.

He is arrogant and over bossy,he sees a wife as a junior student instead of a complete part of himself, dnt wait 4 anyone to tell u dat u will just be his wife in public but his younger sister in the house,open ur eyes

How will he schedule your wedding without your consent. Such man won't hesistate to enslave you after marriage

mirexxx:
This is a warning signal my dear
I'll advice you to walk outta that relationship
soonest it'll turn into slavery
you'll find your right man that'll take your opinion/and decisions seriously.
damn! one thing i detest is a man trying to control your whole life because "he's a man"
whatever happened to reasoning together??

And he would always defend his weakness using the bible.

Leave him my dear.Am also a serving corp member,if u don't mind patience will turn our 19,800 to millions soon and we gonna get married as a supportive and happy couple

DanceVille:
Nice Question...
Though am a small kid buh lemme use my Understanding to answer this question...
To be Frank, this isn't a healthy relationship, this dude just wanna marry you because of many your beauty or other stuffs like that.
I swear, he didn't love you that much..Buh, something seems Fishy.How could he meet your parent for Introduction without them asking for your consent...Is he an influence person?
My dear sister, I'll ask you to pray over this to avoid regrets..
Gracais..

As of d introduction, we eventualy agreed b4 he came seein my parents.

Didn't know that...Buh, you also need to give him your conditions also..

ojjp:

As of d introduction, we eventualy agreed b4 he came seein my parents.

Posters above me has said it all....so..Case Is Closed

Run run run my sister.
Such men are wicked and venomous vipers who will hide under the bible to perpetuate their wicked acts.

@OP
you shouldnt run just yet because you seem to care about this man, you wouldnt still be there if you didnt. so i suggest you start to put your foot down and let him know that you EXIST, you are IMPORTANT and your decision/say is IMPORTANT too. let him discover that side of you BEFORE marriage and let him understand that this is how its going to be AFTER marriage too.

simply sit him down and tell him that this marriage will not take place on the day that he mentionned, and give him the reasons. then let him also know that if he wants to take any decisions for the both of you then he MUST confide in you first, and furthermore that his actions are a sign of trouble, and that you will need more time as you do not feel secure any longer to marry such a man.

this union does smell like this guy will turn into a controlling monster after marriage, but it could also be because he is so eager to marry you that he acts foolishly.
btw how long have you guys been together?

Ofcourse!
Just know that one day, he'll fix your burial when you're alive.... Without your knowledge, too.

Enjoy!

There's more to the story than meets the eye. Why is he in such hurry? Is it to have legalized sex? Want to start having babies? Do you have 8 days to live?

Rushing to marry is not a good sign and you guys are engaged! Have you cheated on him or made suggestions of leaving for better? I am asking these questions to understand why he is so insecure.

The date can be changed and finish your education before marriage sweetheart that if you are still interested.

It is your choice as well.

ojjp:
Pls help a sister.

Barely few months in my relationship with a guy (though they av known each other back in sch), He became so serious to see my parents even when l asked him to give me more time.
Eventually, he saw my parents, did introduction, came with his pastor and some members of her family.

After this introduction, he has been acting strange. No more caring, being authoritative and i'm-the-man-of-the-house kind of behaviour.

The latest was that, he called and told me our wedding is on so so date. That the marriage committee has fixed the date. I told him that cannot be because i'm still serving (NYSC), and why fixing my weddin date without my consent?

He told me there is nothin i can do abt it, it has been decided by d church committee and that is final.

I perceived more of these ll come up after d weddin.

I'm so confused right nw. Should i continue? i'm losing interest seriously on this relationshp. I feel he ll enslave me in the name of am a man n my say is final. Pls help me. I'm down already.

Do you even want to get married to this guy or are you just going along with what he wants because he is the current man in your life? I suggest you slow down the relationship to unconfuse yourself. Pay attention to yourself and what you want in a relationship. You are already down and afraid not a good way to start.

With all the obvious signs,you are still asking questions?
Expect more than slavery when married

Not good. He ought to tell you or you guys plan together instead of making decisions by himself. Marriage is for better or for worse, you have to make up your mind on how you want to spend the rest of life.

MRBrownJ:
@OP
you shouldnt run just yet because you seem to care about this man, you wouldnt still be there if you didnt. so i suggest you start to put your foot down and let him know that you EXIST, you are IMPORTANT and your decision/say is IMPORTANT too. let him discover that side of you BEFORE marriage and let him understand that this is how its going to be AFTER marriage too.

simply sit him down and tell him that this marriage will not take place on the day that he mentionned, and give him the reasons. then let him also know that if he wants to take any decisions for the both of you then he MUST confide in you first, and furthermore that his actions are a sign of trouble, and that you will need more time as you do not feel secure any longer to marry such a man.

this union does smell like this guy will turn into a controlling monster after marriage, but it could also be because he is so eager to marry you that he acts foolishly.
btw how long have you guys been together?

We v been together for four months b4 d intro. And he wants d weddin done next month.

He has called somebdy at whr i'm servin to tell him everythin i do. He is feelin insecure kind of. Its like he doesnt trust me, n dat is really makin me feel like cryin.

[quote author=MrsChima post=32915598]There's more to the story than meets the eye. Why is he in such hurry? Is it to have legalized sex? Want to start having babies? Do you have 8 days to live?

Rushing to marry is not a good sign and you guys are engaged! Have you cheated on him or made suggestions of leaving for better? I am asking these questions to understand why he is so insecure.

The date can be changed and finish your education before marriage sweetheart that if you are still interested.

It is your choice as well.

Mayb lack of trust. I once told him i ll get my masters b4 weddin. The part dat is disturbin me more is d church marriage committee. I called to tell them dat d date has to b changed, they said no way, dat i must abide by their decision. They make d whole thin luk like i v no voice, no right, no excuse, jst obey!
I'm tired already.

The church and your fiance makes decisions for you? Which kind of church is this?

ojjp:

We v been together for four months b4 d intro. And he wants d weddin done next month.

He has called somebdy at whr i'm servin to tell him everythin i do. He is feelin insecure kind of. Its like he doesnt trust me, n dat is really makin me feel like cryin.

the reason why he is acting in such a way is plain clear.....you guys DO NOT know each other and that man wants to enslve you because of his insecurities. 4 months is just too early to really get to know someone and to fully take the decision to spend the rest of your life with him. i suggest you guys slow down and take time to discover one another, to have fun together, to bond in such a way that marriage is NOT going to be the only thing that link you guys together.

who plans a wedding in 1 month anyway?! lol this man is indeed in a hurry!