Firstimer:


Plsbe realistic here o.
I dont no if ur talking about Naija or d UK. Which bank resumes at 9am in Nigeria.
Resumption time is 7-7.30 for staff and 8am to customers. And the closing time, yes it can be possible to leave at 5pm but not always. And if one resides in Lagos with the heavy traffic on the road, she'll be getting home not earlier dan 9pm.

there are 32 states in nigeria and not everyone lives/works in lagos.

the OP lives in Warri - check her previous posts.

having 9-5 contractual hours doesnt mean you stroll into work at 9am!! You can decide to come in at 5am if you wish. all the business cares is that you are in during the core business hours.

Firstimer:


Plsbe realistic here o.
I dont no if ur talking about Naija or d UK. Which bank resumes at 9am in Nigeria.
Resumption time is 7-7.30 for staff and 8am to customers. And the closing time, yes it can be possible to leave at 5pm but not always. And if one resides in Lagos with the heavy traffic on the road, she'll be getting home not earlier dan 9pm.

It all depends.

Not everyone lives in Lagos, not everyone who lives in Lagos work in a bank and not everyone who works in a bank live far from it.

There are about 6 banks where I stay and I know a number of their staff would live around. Some would practically trek to work If they want to.

A relative lives about 10mins drive from her bank in a non-traffic area.

Some jobs start by 8pm and close by 5pm.

It is not all gloom and doom

Besides, Some people really like to work late

what is all this about teaching? is teaching really a second rate career? i know in Nigeria now education is a professional course. no school worth its onions takes a teacher without a qualification in education as stipulated and enforced by the government. have we forgotten that many Nigerians were forced to study courses they never mapped out to cos " thats what jamb gave them" should that individual now armed with a basic degree not follow his passion? mind you people's dreams and aspirations and life's goals are permitted to change due to a lot of factors such as experiences and exposure. so if she studied geology and wants to end up a teacher, for me that's cool. my advise aspire to the highest level of teaching. get a PGD, then work towards a masters and a Ph D.. believe me this career gives you room to achieve this. after that consider if you want to continue as a pre university teacher or you want to step up our game and lecture.
anybody that calls a stay at home mum lazy is completely misinformed especially if that woman has no help( house help or nanny) every woman that has been there knows that is the most tedious job especially for the child bearing years. for me, during my younger days, i was a stay at home mum, brought up my children without a help. i ran businesses from home and got myself an M.Sc. fast ward 6yrs later i delved into a career path I want, registered a firm and started little by little. 3yrs later was done with baby making, have four sons and i got myself a good government job. now all my years of hands on training of my kids have paid off as the boys can comfortably run the home( mind you the eldest is 11yrs) and are very much independent. now i am about to change career path to something more demanding and rewarding as my kids can now make it out on their own. my advise don't let any body make you feel lazy cos you don't have a paid job. trust me i have tasted both worlds and can tell you which is more tasking. remain focused. utilize the free time when the kids are off to school or playgroup. better yourself, strategize and work towards how you will fit back in the labour market. it not only equips you but makes you feel good about yourself. wishing you all the best. remember your children's formative years don't last forever, it is only for a while by 3 yrs they are in school tops 11yrs they are already in boarding school. if you train they older ones well they help out with the younger. cheers and stay blessed

saucepan:
what is all this about teaching? is teaching really a second rate career? i know in Nigeria now education is a professional course. no school worth its onions takes a teacher without a qualification in education as stipulated and enforced by the government. have we forgotten that many Nigerians were forced to study courses they never mapped out to cos " thats what jamb gave them" should that individual now armed with a basic degree not follow his passion? mind you people's dreams and aspirations and life's goals are permitted to change due to a lot of factors such as experiences and exposure. so if she studied geology and wants to end up a teacher, for me that's cool. my advise aspire to the highest level of teaching. get a PGD, then work towards a masters and a Ph D.. believe me this career gives you room to achieve this. after that consider if you want to continue as a pre university teacher or you want to step up our game and lecture.
anybody that calls a stay at home mum lazy is completely misinformed especially if that woman has no help( house help or nanny) every woman that has been there knows that is the most tedious job especially for the child bearing years. for me, during my younger days, i was a stay at home mum, brought up my children without a help. i ran businesses from home and got myself an M.Sc. fast ward 6yrs later i delved into a career path I want, registered a firm and started little by little. 3yrs later was done with baby making, have four sons and i got myself a good government job. now all my years of hands on training of my kids have paid off as the boys can comfortably run the home( mind you the eldest is 11yrs) and are very much independent. now i am about to change career path to something more demanding and rewarding as my kids can now make it out on their own. my advise don't let any body make you feel lazy cos you don't have a paid job. trust me i have tasted both worlds and can tell you which is more tasking. remain focused. utilize the free time when the kids are off to school or playgroup. better yourself, strategize and work towards how you will fit back in the labour market. it not only equips you but makes you feel good about yourself. wishing you all the best. remember your children's formative years don't last forever, it is only for a while by 3 yrs they are in school tops 11yrs they are already in boarding school. if you train they older ones well they help out with the younger. cheers and stay blessed

I thought you were a guy?

You were going 'businesses' and schooling while you were at home and you were a stay at home mom? Then Seun must be a stay at home guy! (sure you get my drift)

@teaching: I believe that reaction is because every married woman is told to be a teacher So We have a lot of frustrated teachers.

The OP can also look at your posts. Thanks for confirming the education stuff. I have advised the OP go for her PDG anyways. When she's done, her kids are older.

I haven't seen her around anyways.

TV01:

- a condition I have a cunning plan to make permanent ! I love it when I get home and am recieved with a kiss and my son is happy and eager to see me. The whole house is warm and welcoming, it makes the whole day worthwhile.

...keeping home is not idle; household operations + lunching + gym + etc...allow now, at least until the kids are both school age . Just need to find the money

Princess is fine jare! Thank you for asking...


TV

Big smile on my face looking at that picture. Please don't let madam stay at home permanently she should return even if part-time. I always think of curve balls that life can throw at you when you least expect it.

There is an acquaintance that is in one of those weird situations, she is French (Caucasian) has two masters and a PhD, worked for Schlumberger 10 years and decided to be a stay at home mum until her daughter turned 5, which was 4 years ago. She has been unable to get back into the job market, unfortunately, the drop in oil price has added to her problems due to job cuts. Right now, she is even struggling to get an interview with 'Call Centres' Sure enough, her husband works but what if he sustains an injury or worse still dies, what would she do? Her daughter is 9, she is in her forties.............she'd have to resort to stacking shelves or what?

For me, it is important to keep your skills relevant, stay in the job market even if on part-time basis, you never know when that job could be your only lifeline.

naijababe:


Big smile on my face looking at that picture. Please don't let madam stay at home permanently she should return even if part-time. I always think of curve balls that life can throw at you when you least expect it.

There is an acquaintance that is in one of those weird situations, she is French (Caucasian) has two masters and a PhD, worked for Schlumberger 10 years and decided to be a stay at home mum until her daughter turned 5, which was 4 years ago. She has been unable to get back into the job market, unfortunately, the drop in oil price has added to her problems due to job cuts. Right now, she is even struggling to get an interview with 'Call Centres' Sure enough, her husband works but what if he sustains an injury or worse still dies, what would she do? Her daughter is 9, she is in her forties.............she'd have to resort to stacking shelves or what?

For me, it is important to keep your skills relevant, stay in the job market even if on part-time basis, you never know when that job could be your only lifeline.

...thank you.

I doubt she will, but I'd love for us to have the unfetered choice - like I said, I'd like it to be until the kids reach school age, but even then. We'll see.

I was in Aberdeen last month. I do like it up there, and cost wise, it must be even easier to raise kids; making it that much easier to be a SAHM, lemme talk to wifey


TV

all those asking for part time jobs do you live in Nigeria at all. there are no jobs to go round able bodied young men who are ready to work18hrs a day if need be. so how easy can it be for a mum to find these part time jobs. being a stay at home mum doesn't mean you have to stay at home from morning to night. it simply means you are not regularly employed by another. your time is yours and you can adjust your time to suit your family's needs and engagement. i maintain a stay at home mum can be productive especially as soon as the kids start school which is mostly between 12 to 24 months for those of us in Nigeria. there are still Daycare centres you can have an arrangement with to cover up for the days you are fully engaged. some Daycare Centres can take hourly or daily pay based on negotiation. ask questions and you will realise that there is a world of possibilities out there.
my initial recount of my own experience was not made to make it sound as if i am a super mom or it was a walk in the park. those years were tough and exhausting. there were days i was completely overwhelmed and ready to throw in the towel. but determination and grace saw me through. the basic question remains , what do you want for your life, how do i get there. have a plan with many options. if one option doesnt work out change to the next, just never stop walking. keep on walking until you reach your goal

Ewuro4:


I always ask visibly frustrated moms that esp when they start to sweat profusely while the baby wails

Ain't carrying no toddler around nowhere

No this was more my family and friends. Did not mind my family asking but some of my friends was in a sort of condescending way that make I no lie used to annoy the heck out of me. If I am not asking you for money for pampers/brazillian hair wetin be your own naa or the ones that use to say 'haaa your hubby is trying in this UK paying all the bills'grr MYOB .I even told one who said 'Haa thank God you are back at work you are too smart to be a stay at home mum' *rolls eyes* 'so you mean all stay at home mums are dumb abi besides if you did not know I wanted to stay home at that time' Count that period as my career break or time off( as we kuku don't have a year out in Naija unis this omo gal has been working non stop from since when i finished University ejoor .

Awwwww TV01 that picture is making my uterus hurt she is soooo cute. I love the baby stage but having just finished the horrors of potty training i don't want to go down that route ever again. Naijababe is right though about keeping skills relevant by working part time. That's one of the reasons i went back to work, the longer there is a gap in your CV the harder it is to get back in the labour market. Thank God for Grace but i know how hard it was with just 2 years. Preferably sef she should stay in the same organisation cos getting a'suitable'( except you want to stack shelves in Tesco) part time job from the outside is sooooooo hard. Its easier for a mum who has worked fulltime in an organisiation to request for part time or flexi hours than getting a part time job from the outside. I ideally wanted to go back part time but i had no luck getting the kind of job with the pay that would have made going back worthwhile. What sold it for me a bit in my current organisiation was flexi time and the work from Home option. I still will always put being there for my family first even before money before taking a job.

Saucepan interesting perspective. You are right but OP needs to have an interest or flair in teaching sha cos the hours should not just be the main reason.

TV01:

...thank you.

I doubt she will, but I'd love for us to have the unfetered choice - like I said, I'd like it to be until the kids reach school age, but even then. We'll see.

I was in Aberdeen last month. I do like it up there, and cost wise, it must be even easier to raise kids; making it that much easier to be a SAHM, lemme talk to wifey


TV

Aberdeen is a great place to raise kids, lots of things for the kids to do, not so much for us adults The one thing that costs a fortune in Abz is rent/ mortgage! God!!! The difference relative to the rest of Scotland is gianormous

@TV01, that's a really cute baby you got there... with eyes that seem like they could see through one's soul

Curious, whose eyes did she get?
You, the missus, or one close relative?

TV01:

- a condition I have a cunning plan to make permanent ! I love it when I get home and am recieved with a kiss and my son is happy and eager to see me. The whole house is warm and welcoming, it makes the whole day worthwhile.

...keeping home is not idle; household operations + lunching + gym + etc...allow now, at least until the kids are both school age . Just need to find the money

Princess is fine jare! Thank you for asking...


TV

Awww TV that princess is adorable. God I want to smooch her and kiss that soft cheeks.

You're right about a warm welcoming home and its doable. She just need to employ more flexible schedule compared to what she had or even work from home.. I myself recently made some schedule changes. I know it's gonna cost me and but its all worth it. We organized our days off so Now the kids see much of me and oga's food is always piping hot ( that reminds me , I think he tossed his food warmer )

Dont forget your #1 NL fan when you hit that Lotto jackpot, plenty money go come. 6k/sqf ranch house where Junior can freely ride his horses without traffic, his sister on her pink pony 24/7. Madam Pushing pram on London bridge with friends , spend the entire winter in Rome/Italy with fam and all that rosy stuff. I just heard a resounding Amen.

damiso:
Awwwww TV01 that picture is making my uterus hurt she is soooo cute. I love the baby stage but having just finished the horrors of potty training i don't want to go down that route ever again. Naijababe is right though about keeping skills relevant by working part time. That's one of the reasons i went back to work, the longer there is a gap in your CV the harder it is to get back in the labour market. Thank God for Grace but i know how hard it was with just 2 years. Preferably sef she should stay in the same

Thanks. And yes, her arrival led to "regression" in TVjnr - he now resolutely refuses to use the loo - @3 0! We've tried everything and I've decided; "in his own time"

naijababe:
Aberdeen is a great place to raise kids, lots of things for the kids to do, not so much for us adults The one thing that costs a fortune in Abz is rent/ mortgage! God!!! The difference relative to the rest of Scotland is gianormous

...as an adult, all I do is family, work and gym + a few sundries. I'd be fine. I really fancy the idea. And although house prices are high, I wouldn't lose out making the move from LDN.

Apart from housing, there's the weather - it always seems to lag LDN. But the biggie for mwe would be NS and the SNP. I would be concerned about being an "Englishman" in an independent Scotland.

crackhaus:
@TV01, that's a really cute baby you got there... with eyes that seem like they could see through one's soul
Curious, whose eyes did she get?
You, the missus, or one close relative?

...I think I mentioned how we agreed that if it were a girl she'd look like wifey . At this point it's hard to tell to be honest, but she does remind us of her brother at this age - just more hair, lighter and cuter.

Ewuro4:
Awww TV that princess is adorable. God I want to smooch her and kiss that soft cheeks.
You're right about a warm welcoming home and its doable. She just need to employ more flexible schedule compared to what she had or even work from home.. I myself recently made some schedule changes. I know it's gonna cost me and but its all worth it. We organized our days off so Now the kids see much of me and oga's food is always piping hot ( that reminds me , I think he tossed his food warmer )
Dont forget your #1 NL fan when you hit that Lotto jackpot, plenty money go come. 6k/sqf ranch house where Junior can freely ride his horses without traffic, his sister on her pink pony 24/7. Madam Pushing pram on London bridge with friends , spend the entire winter in Rome/Italy with fam and all that rosy stuff. I just heard a resounding Amen.

Thanks J & Amen to that.
To be honest, harsh relaity means that both parents typically have to toil. And it is sensible for both to have marketable skills. I dream of an enterprise we can run jointly. In the old days it was always about family enterprise - and I see so many advantages if we can make that happen.


TV

damiso:


No this was more my family and friends. Did not mind my family asking but some of my friends was in a sort of condescending way that make I no lie used to annoy the heck out of me. If I am not asking you for money for pampers/brazillian hair wetin be your own naa or the ones that use to say 'haaa your hubby is trying in this UK paying all the bills'grr MYOB .I even told one who said 'Haa thank God you are back at work you are too smart to be a stay at home mum' *rolls eyes* 'so you mean all stay at home mums are dumb abi besides if you did not know I wanted to stay home at that time' Count that period as my career break or time off( as we kuku don't have a year out in Naija unis this omo gal has been working non stop from since when i finished University ejoor .

I'm guilty of that too. I tell them you know "I will not MMOB until you get something going for you". the tough love we are sharin.

Was at the spelling bee with madam weeks ago and met a lady at the concession , we introduced ourselves over coffee and discussed kids, she's from Middle East and she told me how she stayed home for 5years with her kid, and worked from home same time. This engineer raised their 20% of their mortgage down payment from her savings. I was wowed.

@ TV01, Well, you should have no problem adjusting if rent/mortgage is not a put-off. I've lived in Scotland for nine years and I love it here so much that I can't even see myself going elsewhere. In fact, the only expat move(s) I'd consider now are some parts of Middle East and Malaysia, anywhere else can kiss my black behind. My hubby is pretty sporty, lots of sporty things to do even if some of them might cost you an arm and a leg.

TV01:


^{**...auntie Sholly, am waiting for you ! I will soon outgrow this outfit **}

He is too cute. And he is making the same face I make when I read your posts on NL.

Hehe TV01 that little oga is not joking oh, he means business see his strong papa eyes.

Abeg leave him he'll come around in his own time. All the shifted attention is not easy to take in even for the agbayas we have over here are not smiling.

God bless your home and grant your heart desires. IJN.

@TV01:

Your kids look very cute.

God bless your home.

@ TV01 Your princess is so so cute.

naijababe:
@ TV01, Well, you should have no problem adjusting if rent/mortgage is not a put-off. I've lived in Scotland for nine years and I love it here so much that I can't even see myself going elsewhere. In fact, the only expat move(s) I'd consider now are some parts of Middle East and Malaysia, anywhere else can kiss my black behind. My hubby is pretty sporty, lots of sporty things to do even if some of them might cost you an arm and a leg.

...I'm quite "rugged" in some ways, and you're right, I'd have no problems adapting. Not to mention I was pleasantly surprised once I started visiting. It's wifey' position and the family upheaval. I guess I'l continue to visit !

Ewuro4:
Hehe TV01 that little oga is not joking oh, he means business see his strong papa eyes.
Abeg leave him he'll come around in his own time. All the shifted attention is not easy to take in even for the agbayas we have over here are not smiling.
God bless your home and grant your heart desires. IJN.

Amen to that & thanks very much.

bukatyne:
@TV01:
Your kids look very cute.
God bless your home.

Graciás and amen.

babygirlfl:
@ TV01 Your princess is so so cute.

Cheers. She's grown on me so much.

Shollypopzz:
He is too cute. And he is making the same face I make when I read your posts on NL.

...auntie Sholly you funny!


TV

I was beginning to ask why i always miss TV01 pictures.

Such a cutie and for your son just let him be,he will go back to use the loo in his own time.It happens a lot when there is a new baby.

@ TV01, Let me know next time you are up if you are up for meeting up, better yet bring madam and the kids. I'll do my best to pull her to your side

saucepan:
what is all this about teaching? is teaching really a second rate career? i know in Nigeria now education is a professional course. no school worth its onions takes a teacher without a qualification in education as stipulated and enforced by the government. have we forgotten that many Nigerians were forced to study courses they never mapped out to cos " thats what jamb gave them" should that individual now armed with a basic degree not follow his passion? mind you people's dreams and aspirations and life's goals are permitted to change due to a lot of factors such as experiences and exposure. so if she studied geology and wants to end up a teacher, for me that's cool. my advise aspire to the highest level of teaching. get a PGD, then work towards a masters and a Ph D.. believe me this career gives you room to achieve this. after that consider if you want to continue as a pre university teacher or you want to step up our game and lecture.
anybody that calls a stay at home mum lazy is completely misinformed especially if that woman has no help( house help or nanny) every woman that has been there knows that is the most tedious job especially for the child bearing years. for me, during my younger days, i was a stay at home mum, brought up my children without a help. i ran businesses from home and got myself an M.Sc. fast ward 6yrs later i delved into a career path I want, registered a firm and started little by little. 3yrs later was done with baby making, have four sons and i got myself a good government job. now all my years of hands on training of my kids have paid off as the boys can comfortably run the home( mind you the eldest is 11yrs) and are very much independent. now i am about to change career path to something more demanding and rewarding as my kids can now make it out on their own. my advise don't let any body make you feel lazy cos you don't have a paid job. trust me i have tasted both worlds and can tell you which is more tasking. remain focused. utilize the free time when the kids are off to school or playgroup. better yourself, strategize and work towards how you will fit back in the labour market. it not only equips you but makes you feel good about yourself. wishing you all the best. remember your children's formative years don't last forever, it is only for a while by 3 yrs they are in school tops 11yrs they are already in boarding school. if you train they older ones well they help out with the younger. cheers and stay blessed

Beautiful,same here.

There is nothing too late to achieve in life as long as you are determine and focus.

Madam Saucepan, great points ... Like someone already pointed out to you, You are never a SAHM , you worked your azz off while raising your kids.

Staying home and doing nothing is what majority are averted to. We are home makers alright but that shouldn't limit us from achieving our goals like Ralphlauren stated.

Those are the kind of Amazon I want to be seen in their midst.

I doff my hat for you and God bless your home.

I think it is important to state what your aspirations are to begin with. I could never do business because I strongly believe that my people skills suck at times and aside from that I have no interest. I love what I do and can't imagine myself do anything else even if I had all the money in the world, I am a happier but sometimes stressed mummy but ultimately, my kids are well adjusted and happier because of my choices.

I have no interest in being one of those women who live solely for their kids as selfish as it may sound.

Without a househelp or relatives you can SHARE risks with, please kiss your career goodbye for the next 10 years or more!
Life is full of risks!
Take yours!

Go and borrow a leaf from OMOTOLA J-EKEINDE!

Her last child just turned 13!

She kept her EDUCATION, marriage, career and KIDS!

No advice needed!
Abi na only you WAKA pass maternity ward?

.

Ewuro4:


I'm guilty of that too. I tell them you know "I will not MMOB until you get something going for you". the tough love we are sharin.

Was at the spelling bee with madam weeks ago and met a lady at the concession , we introduced ourselves over coffee and discussed kids, she's from Middle East and she told me how she stayed home for 5years with her kid, and worked from home same time. This engineer raised their 20% of their mortgage down payment from her savings. I was wowed.

Real tough love I wonder why they were all panicking sef.They should all know me well enough to know that I like money too much to do it indefinitely naa

Ewuro4:


Oya nisho je ka lo majaye ori mi be siga SM

That makes 2 of us.

Hubby and I watched a movie yesterday (Tango with me) , the lady's always depressed and moody, rubs off on her hubby, he's miserable and made an error that almost cost him his career. To cut it short, The moment the lady's attitude changed , that home changed.

And ofcourse kids will be happy and well adjusted to the routine as long you're happy. Happy mom, happy home. Lets face it.. Who's really the boss here?

Lord knows you have spoiled finish