abbey621:
What exactly is a successful woman? A woman is only successful if she makes her own money, has a high status among peers and is still able to keep a happy home. Look at the bold words very carefully you'll notice men are not under such restrictions, a man is successful as long as he has money!

I'm surprised that the op is a man and yet able to write things like this on social media. The truth is men are not scared of successful women rather they are scared of the way success changes women. Whether it is Nigeria or abroad, money and power are most dangerous in the hands of a woman. Let me explain further:

1. Women are easily influenced by friends and peers
2. Women are highly emotional creatures, when angry or sad they are most vulnerable.
3.Women want attention at all times and when she dictates the money in the relationship, the man ceases to be a man.

Mix it all together with an atmosphere such as the USA or Europe where women run things and you have CHAOS! Men would stop caring in relationships, go after the successful women, exploit her and dump her for another woman who is submissive. In the Nigerian context, a man cannot truly claim to be successful if he does not provide for his family, men value opinions from the society and would have sleepless nights if we married someone with a dominant personality or someone uncontrollable. Now don't get me wrong we have some successful ladies that are submissive to their husbands but they are very rare, there's something about money that makes human beings go gaga.

If we can think deeply, we would realize the number one thing men want in women is RESPECT. However for women, the number one thing they want in men is for them to be men, to be the head and take charge!

theplanmaker:




You are free to draw your own conclusion. But the truth is you fo not know the guys intention. I have dated a girl who is very rich. Her father was a politician, she was a successful doctor. I never felt inferior, even if i was a fresh graduate with no job. I even drive her car sometimes. She was more than ready to sponsor our wedding too. But i had to end the relationship at a point. Why? She forgot that she is a woman, and that her man is supose to be in control of the family. She is never open to suggestion, and she tries to give me instructions! Even my parents warned me. Did i break up with her because i felt inferior? Far from it. She was just not wife material, and her money made her so. So my dear, the truth is that for most wome, as ttheir social status grows, so does their ego. If a man percieves that your ego has grown to the point were you cannot becontained, he will walk away. A man would not marry a woman who he cannot control period!

theplanmaker:




You are free to draw your own conclusion. But the truth is you fo not know the guys intention. I have dated a girl who is very rich. Her father was a politician, she was a successful doctor. I never felt inferior, even if i was a fresh graduate with no job. I even drive her car sometimes. She was more than ready to sponsor our wedding too. But i had to end the relationship at a point. Why? She forgot that she is a woman, and that her man is supose to be in control of the family. She is never open to suggestion, and she tries to give me instructions! Even my parents warned me. Did i break up with her because i felt inferior? Far from it. She was just not wife material, and her money made her so. So my dear, the truth is that for most wome, as ttheir social status grows, so does their ego. If a man percieves that your ego has grown to the point were you cannot becontained, he will walk away. A man would not marry a woman who he cannot control period!

Rapmoney:
Ask Kema Chikwe what a successful woman means...ask Foluronsho Alakija...ask Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala...ask Modupe Ozoluwa...ask Genevieve Nnaji...or u still want me to continue?

Owliver:
thank you so much for this. I have seen even relationships get blown up because the girl feeds the boy. She totally turned him to a dummy and always reminded him that "is it not my money"" A rich naija guy can comfortably date and marry a poor girl and his senses will still be intact but a rich girl and a poor husband you and I know what she'll become. If a naija lady loses her job the husband can endure forever and manage without reminding her that he pays all the bills but if a man loses his job the woman turns him to something else and this OP can spew thrash here. Comparing naija to western world. So much for the high divorce rate in your "Perfect western world"

Jagabanthelion:
I have an uncle who married a village girl,brushed her up,took her abroad and somehow he found himself doing d dishes n homechores after she started earning some income.She even demanded payment b4 he gets his conjugal rights every night.Today,they are divorced.Hav anoda aunt who her hubby took abroad too n today,they are divorced.Finally,I remember a humble but rich female colleague of mine,who refused to buy a car because she was still single n over 30. She persevered for a while,begged for lifts and used public transport till her humility paid.A man noticed it,liked her and married her.She later bought one of the most sophisticated Jeeps I have ever seen after marriage,of course with the love and consent of her hubby. what I can coin from these 3 experiences of mine is that a lot of foreign culture has corrupted our once-humble women.Only a few still keep their heads low after getting richer than their hubbies,very very few.

Owliver:
you see those "feminist ladies" rallying around the OP. They are up to no good. Most of them don't live here in naija and they spew out ridiculous advises which contradicts the real situation on ground here in naija. I don't just like it. Girls don show me pepper so I know what am saying. I wouldn't want to marry a poor uneducated girl but marrying a rich girl(who has no respect) would worsen the situation. An average Naija girl's attitude is just to dangerous when topped with riches. I can't relate

Tallesty1:
Married? I think No?

Dated an independent woman? I guess NO too and yet you are talking?

Isn't experience the best teacher?

Do you think wife and girlfriend are thesame thing?

Do you have friends that are married to richer women? Have you visited them at home to see how they are being treated?

FYI, Nigeria men are not scared of successful women rather they are scared of control freaks. The type of woman that only feels good about herself if she makes you feel less than her. These are the women that my brothers are scared of.

I have said this before and I will say it again, every man prays for his wife to be successful too. That's why most Igbo men I know open shops for wives once they marry them so that they will start hustling. Are you saying that they open shops for these women and then turn around to pray against their success?

You amaze me op.

Most men insist that their wife must be a graduate, why?

Don't just jump from nowhere and start writing stuffs just to get likes without researching your topic properly. Sha, you have given some half-baked-feminist on here something to talk about but who cares?

NOW LISTEN.

Picture a woman who has personality disorder, someone who automatically become enraged or sullen and withdrawn if she doesn’t get her way. Someone who needles you endlessly until you capitulate, someone whose mood becomes buoyant as she cuts you down. Someone who makes you feel useless, disoriented and helpless.

Then picture where this woman is richer than her husband.

What Do You See?

LISTEN AGAIN.

There are things one needs to succeed in business and work. These things are direct opposite of what we need to have successful marriage and most of these successful women do not know where to cut the line.

To succeed in business, you have to be stubborn, in control etc. Bring these things into your marriage and you are fuked. Some successful women would rather blow the house up and everything in it than compromise or take personal responsibility. Who Wants This?

Women Naturally want to exert control over everything. They enjoy to make those around them feel inadequate, insecure, nervous, angry, anxious and physically sick.

Go to married men that have richer wives and ask them, they will tell you that the message their women pass in everything they do is I don’t trust you to be able to do it right; I don’t respect your judgment; I don’t think you are competent; I don’t value your insight. I can do it all alone

Money brings out the demon in everybody and most women do not know how to control this demon yet.

I Have A Feeling That You Are Eyeing A Rich Sister.

Thankz:
YOU ARE AN IDEAL MAN...........................the world is running out of men like u, and people like u get very successful cos thats God's view of how men should think ....

Whobedatte:
more wisdom to your grey matter. U nailed it!!!

edetcnn:
@op (in case you are not really Bruce Jenner), the truly 'successful women' in Naija and elsewhere are all taken. There are very very few, I repeat, very very very few of 'em available. And truly matured men (not boys or transgenders like you) are hunting hard for those few.
I wish you well in the real hustle that made you open this populist but baseles assumption-driven thread sha! But abeg shine your eye well o! Don't let a shiny car that still has over 28 months of remaining payment deceive you;)

Rapmoney:
To sum up ur post, we should get married to poor women that we can order around abi?

Rapmoney:
To sum up ur post, we should get married to poor women that we can order around abi?

Rapmoney:
Am just stating the fact because it seems male folks in this part of the world are still holding on to some trashy societal beliefs and having numerous false assumptions!

Rapmoney:
Sincerely speaking, my Nigerian brothers are falling my hands big time!!!

Often times, I hear people (including the male folks!) Saying 'young women that are successful in their respective careers and probably drive cars are no-go area!' That's a huge sign of inferiority complex and an exhibition of shallow mentality!

Is it really an exclusive right for men only to be successful and own cars? Why do we have young women schooling or learning a trade? Is it not to be successful in their chosen careers? Do we expect these women to subject themselves to lack and poverty?

Today, most Nigerian ladies who are successful and unmarried are normally seen as a no-go area for men. They label such women as disrespectful and not submissive under wrong assumptions! This clearly shows a poor mentality of the male folks!!!

Nigerian guys need to live above this poor mentality and accept the fact that becoming successful is not an exclusive right of the male folks...success is all encompassing and can be attained by anyone, irrespective of gender!

Please, feel free to share your views.

Peace!

Rapmoney:
You should know this is not a universal phenomenon but particular to Nigerian men. What does this show? It shows that Nigerian men are still holding on to that assumption that shows men have the exclusive right to be the successful ones only! That's where am coming from

misreal:
you sound like a lady that will lock up her husband in a toilet if he is not as moneysom as you are.

Vickybee:

I have a boyfriend, Tallesty.

Been with? I have been with many.
If you mean dated, then only one.

silvercute:


Thanks so much for your contributions. I guess OP is an idealist and opens this thread to fan the ego of feminists littered everywhere in the name of ' successful' woman. Women don't possess the mental capacity to provide materially for a home and still feel submissive to the man. Hardly! The more reason God made the woman as a compliment and NOT a copy of the man. With the high rate of divorce in the western world is that not a lingering sign of subversiveness.

redhook:
.....Bros! Next time don't use YOUR point of view or those around "YOU" that you claim to have "HEARD" from to form a general opinion on a thread! Generalisation is either due to a lack of exposure or experience! No vex, Shalom!

Sacluxpaint:
My mother's type is very scarce, successful career woman, despite her busy schedule , she still used to find time to cook very delicious soup. And when my dad stopped being the breadwinner for a while, she supported the house very well. In today's society, such women are very rare.

Vickybee:

Beyonce, Adichie, Hilary Clinton etc share my view and they have a happy marriage than the so-called non feminists.

Rapmoney:
I don't see anything wrong in airing my opinion on a societal issue such as this. You see, most people are just trying to avoid the truth! We still have a long way to go

Mrdrix:


A Successful woman does not necessary mean does who have made it to the peak in their career. There are other facet of success a woman can attain, like a successful wife, mother etc.

Bluetooth2:


You are the one that's not getting it. I'm not against women empowerment but equality is totally bullshiit when you do everything for her. You paid dowry, cloth her, feed her, house her, do everything for her when she has her money yet you still feel a man doesn't possess any leadership role ? Btw, are you married ?

Blitz888:

Op, I disagree with u intoto.
You're in error for wrongly generalizing that Nigerian men feel inferior to their more successful female counterparts.
The feeling of inferiority or low self-esteem is first an individual thing and should not be generalized.
Secondly, everyone has got his or her class and so it's advisable u marry/mate within your league.
Ultimately, people's respect is not commanded or solicited for but earned.
And lastly, I don't think there is anything trashy about a persons way of life or believe system and who says men in other climes are any different.

Rapmoney:
Thanks for the understanding. I always and will continue to stand for the truth!