i dont really now how to start. but let me start this way.

i have never been much of a womanizer.not because i dont like them but because i dont often feel like keeping any relationship.
however, i met this girl when i resumed to 100 level. she happened to be the daughter of the king of the town where i lived as a student.
the relationship went on for about 6 years before it became what it is now and i dont know what to do.

actually, i had gone to pray about her and i often got negative visions about our relationship. i was hoever encouraged to pray about the issues. which i did.

because i truly loved her, i respected her wish and never disvirgined her until about 5 years after we started off.

however, there were the following issues along the way:

she pesters a lot or would i call it nagging?
she finds it difficult to accept blame and say sorry
always causing one form of misunderstanding or the other
have a flair for gyration (seem normal for every woman)
has eyes on the outside (always seeming threatning)

as a matter of fact, when i was about graduating from school, sh re-dated her ex (whom she never talked of until i discovered). i never knew i was in love wh her until this time.
i fell ill cos i couldnt get to sleep for 4 days and all. after 3 weeks, she came back somehow and one way or the other, we have been getting along until recently.

the misunderstandings started again.
yes, i know not every relationship is smooth.
agreed, i am kind of temperamental so i dont like to argue. once it comes up, i apologise and expect her to just let go but she keeps talking.
she is just like many ladies who do not know what they want to do. they just believe that one way or the other something will happen and they will make it in life

i tried my best to build her. make her see life in different perspectives. make her undertsand me. i tried to deal with our compatibility extensively.

however, the little misunderstandings were not helping matters.

so last march, i told her. i know i might be wrong to have done so but i just couldnt help he matters then.
i asked us to go on a break. i am not about to go out with any girl but she should go and keep relationships. check out the different men she can date. if she finds any bettr than i am, she should stay with him and leave me but if not, she can come back to me.

she went and after some time found some but she told me they were not her type. she even told me of a certain guy who workS in a bank but that they were just friends. and so she came back to me, \

May was he birthday and she allowed/asked me to DO IT on her birthday last year (over five years). this gave me the assurance she has finally appreciated me and so i gave her all my love.

to my utmost surprise, the relationship with the bank guy started becoming clearer and clearer. i wouldnt know what happened but i got to know they were dating.
if asked, she would say i caused it. this brought distrust in me although i kept the relationship and never having an extra one.
she would tellme she wants to change somethings in the guys life. she would also tell my friends that breaking that relationship would take some time,

lastly she came to my house during the last Xmas ( i work as a Clients' Service Manager in Ibadan) and yet we had a trivial misunderstanding. i warned her to be careful of her attitudes or they could lead to our break up.

as if she was waiting for that, she said well then YES! who the hell do you think you are.
she changed the fones we had exchanged a long time ago, packed her things (although she stayed till 28th dec.)

tried talking to her to make he see things differently but i could deduce her mind was made up.

later when i would get to know, she said she has to pray abt it. said she has given my name and the guy's name to her mom to pray on and that she would go to pastors to pray too.

i really dont know what to do at this time. i feel so depressed that it is affecting my career.

suggestions say, i should get SUBSTITUTES to keep my mind from thinking but i couldnt. I know i love this girl. it is just as simple as that and i am beginnig to blame myself for not being a player all along.

i cant afford to talk to her on hone cos i feel depressed afterwards.
i dont even know if the guy has started DOING her or what's up with her raitabot noh!

please tell me, even if she eventually comes back, should i take her? would she still not do same again? should i find substitutes and womanize?

please tell me.

you can mail me to kehindefolajimi@yahoo.com
thanks expecting your reply y'all.

You must be good at story telling, first advice is for you to summarise story then maybe we can comment on the core points

u sure beat me to dat reply

Ur long story shows how emotional u are about this issue. I feel ur pain bad. See the koko there is that, Banker has popped her cherry, weda u lyk it or not. He has popped it. To get over stuvz like this takes time, just move on, at the moment spiritual stuvz got attached to ya relnshp with her, what has happened now tells it all that u both are not meant to be together, which is of ur own good.

Pray and the lord will give you a better replacement for ur good deed.

Finding another woman is not the answer.

Let me tell you from a womans prospective you f'ed up when you told her to date outside and take a break.

She started flirting with the bank guy and even thou she was not sure about him she came back to you but did not tell him or did tell him but he still wanted to toast her and get in her ear about how much you must not really love her because you let her go outside to date.

She was torn between you two and you made the decision so easy by breaking it off with her.

If you were having problems with her you should have sought someone to mediate those problems and should have never taken a break.

There is always a 50-50 chance that when you take a break the person wont come back or will but will be torn between lovers.

You tried to munipulate her feelings and her and it back fired.

Listen up dudes lesson learned today courtesy of Dunddy

have a flair for gyration (seem normal for every woman)

Huh?

Dunddy:

i fell ill cos i couldnt get to sleep for 4 days and all. after 3 weeks, she came back somehow and one way or the other, we have been getting along until recently.

Health is wealth. . . u only fall in love when u alive!

@ jaybee

if you ever did anything on problem analysis, then you would understand the essence of details.
if i have to take ur advise, then i must make u understand the situation as it is. otherwise, u would give me a wrong counsel.

thanks fr your comment though.

@ poster i feel can't really say i feel your pain but i know what you're goin gthru.
well permit me to say this but men like you are really rare and toooooo soft. that's your unbecomingness.

and to answer your question, well womanizing is not the answer, it's not who you are as in its not your person, so eventually you'd end up being more miserable than before.
need i say you shdn't take her back again? need i say you shdn't call her again? i'm sure you know this but the answer is you need to deal with yourself. being with someone that long and then a break up cos if infidelity is prety tough, trust me i know. pple say take a break, be single for a while, me! i believe its not about how long you stay single, i believe its how much happiness you derive from doing whatever it is you wanna do.get in touch with the inner you, take a break from being with someone (unless this is your weakness-you have to have someone with you- get closer to your family and male friends or female friends if you have any). my rule MAKE SURE YOU DERIVE HAPPINESS FROM IT!! even if its simply walking on the beach or listening to hard rock.
all the best in recovering and the next girl that comes along, when you notice these little changes hopefully you'd know what to do

cheers

Vodka, u have said it all.

Guys like u av a Recycle Bin on ur system. . . I'll advice u move on wit ur lyf. It ain't gonna b easy, but it's 4 d best. . . She's not worth d trouble.

thanks y'all
appreciate.