“Nigerian men are chronically
unfaithful.”
“Nigerian women are
materialistic.”
These are two of the most common
phrases in any conversation about
relationships in Nigeria. I’m
exploring the validity of those
statements.
Nigerian men complain about the
materialism of Nigerian women,
apparently our women are totally
consumed with thoughts of money;
of course no Nigerian man cares
about cash. They’ll tell you that
a Nigerian girl, especially the
Lagos girl, falls in love with
your wallet before she even looks
at you. When I first heard this
complaint, I felt so bad for our
men. Poor kiddos, how could they
cope dealing with these greedy
materialistic girls? I mean I know
I’ve definitely judged Nigerian
girls harshly. College girls from
struggling families have two
hundred and fifty thousand Naira
(plus) weaves, the latest
smartphones, and expensive trips
abroad, I know it’s their pocket-
money doing all that. As I’ve
grown older, I’ve gotten kinder,
and less judgmental(here’s
hoping).
On the flip side, Nigerian women
moan about the legendary
infidelity of Nigerian men,
Nigerian men can’t be trusted.
Listening to the variety of
stories about the men is
absolutely petrifying; some get
engaged to two women at the same
time, others take mistresses on
their honeymoon, placing them in
the same hotel as their wives,
while others maintain two families
or sleep with the maids and
nannies. Unfortunately, these
stories aren’t fiction; we all
have a few of them in our families
or our close circle of friends.
It’s enough to make a girl
reconsider getting into this thing
called marriage.
Since moving back I’ve had some
experiences that have made me
rethink who gets the blame in this
messy situation. Recently a friend
was talking about setting me up;
apparently he had a number of
single friends who would be ideal
for me. Call me a skeptic, but I
was surprised that he knew so many
people who I could have fulfilling
relationships with, not because
I’m difficult or anything of
course. His answer was that they
all had really well-paying jobs.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t
want to be with an ambition-less
pauper, but I think there are many
other qualities beyond a well-
paying job that make someone a
potential partner, like that pesky
thing called compatibility.
However, in his experience
security is the first thing a
Nigerian girl asks about.
I’ve been on the receiving end of
Nigerian men both young and old
trying to throw money at me. Yet
when you refuse their blatant
offerings, and try to find out
more about them, they are
uncooperative but they’ll complain
about materialistic women. I’ve
heard multiple times that the
majority of Nigerian women are
unintelligent and unable to have
decent conversations. This is
generally said as a back-handed
compliment to me, others in the
same vein say things like “you
have beauty and brains”, as though
the two are incompatible.
Apparently women just talk about
movies, celebrities and make-up.
Hearing this you would think these
men are coming up with the
solutions to Syria and Nigeria’s
problems in their daily chats.
Nah, generally they are discussing
football, PS3 and if you are
lucky, how to make money. I find
these comments extremely insulting
and not flattering in the least. I
for one have never noticed a
marked deficit in female
intelligence among my friends and
casual acquaintances, if the only
women they encounter are
unintelligent, the problem might
be with their selection criteria
not women in general. I’ve had as
many terrible conversations with
men as with women. This paragraph
is brought on by a recent
experience I had on a “date”, my
date asked a question regarding
some of my future academic
pursuits. As I began to answer the
question with the seriousness I
felt it deserved, I noticed he
wasn’t paying attention; he was
looking down and chatting on his
phone, how rude. This was the same
guy who had previously commented
on the lack of intelligent
conversations. Ironic eh?
I’ve spent a good bit of time
considering both angles and I’ve
reached a conclusion, it’s
truthfully a chicken and the egg
situation. Are the women
materialistic because they realize
that’s all they can depend on the
men for? Are the men unfaithful
because they are with women who
choose them for only for what’s in
their pocket? Do men present the
situation to be used through their
own laziness? They rather flash
their bank cards than spend time
courting a women learning about
her interests and what makes her
tick. Do women simply utilize the
opportunities presented to them by
men? Are both men and women simply
not just using each other?
After interacting with Nigerian
men and women, I’ve decided that
this system is mutually beneficial
for the active players. The men
get bought women who are so
desperate for money that they’ll
do anything to stroke their man’s
ego. These women will turn a blind
eye to all their misbehavior, and
accept crappy treatment from them.
The women on their part have
embraced the ideology of “it’s as
easy to love a rich man as a poor
man.” As long as they are kitted
out in the latest designers, get
to travel abroad and drive nice
cars, life is good. I only feel
bad for those who are genuinely
searching for love, for that
person that completes them. 60% of
Nigerians are looking to be
married just to be, 30% consider
marriage to be their meal ticket
and the remaining 10% (probably an
overly generous estimate) are
sincerely searching for love. Yes,
these stats are just randomly
thrown out from my brain, but I
don’t think the results would be
different if I performed a
rigorous scientific study. I’d
love to hear if y’all agree or
disagree.
Have a blessed week.

Didn't read em all, but i can tell u that, not all women are materialistic and not all men cheats ok.

*smokes weed


So now, Op in your mind, you want me to read that textbook up there right?

*puffs weed

Okay

Smh




EricRichie

this thing long oh but na true sha

So true. But not all men cheat at least 80% do and not all women are materialistic at least 70% are. In dating shine ur eyes, d good ones are still out there.

Poverty nd celebrated promis.cuity r d cause.

EricRichie:
*smokes weed


So now, Op in your mind, you want me to read that textbook up there right?

*puffs weed

Okay

Smh




EricRichie

naijaboiy:
Some people just don't know how to copy and paste

pls cum and lecture me on how to copy and paste

I dey holiday make i fit rest this guy carry text book come say make i read. Abegi if guys cheat and gals are materialistic eeh na e good. At least e balance. Abi no be man wen get money they carry women?