...

IMO ,Since it got physical yes you should interfere and seperate them....

However nothing concerns you with the cause of the fight in this case,your Mum isn't a kid,she is /should be wise enough to know/do what is best for her per time

As for your Dad "Apani okin je ko muda koja lori oun"

And for you,you should know you can't take sides,you an equal part of both of them, try to find something doing that takes your time and energy

indiraserv:
IMO ,Since it got physical yes you should interfere and seperate them....

However nothing concerns you with the cause of the fight in this case,your Mum isn't a kid,she is /should be wise enough to know/do what is best for her per time

As for your Dad "Apani okin je ko muda koja lori oun"

And for you,you should know you can't take sides,you an equal part of both of them, try to find something doing that takes your time and energy

Thanks.

You are 24. That makes you matured enough.

1. Go to your mom first maybe outside your home or at work the day you know you will be free.
When you get to her work place, ask her when she is having her break time at work. Then promise her you will wait. She will know that the matter that brought you is really serious.

During break time, tell her that you are now a graduate. That you are about going for service(make it look like you are going to serve in Jupiter or Mars). Tell her that you loved her no matter what. And ask if she was seeing someone. She might say yes or no.
then continue by saying you want peace in the house.
That it is not cool for you to go for service and be thinking that both of them has killed themselves.etc

Then what ever she tells you, go to your dad and repeat almost what you said to your mom.
just act like a good son. Tell your dad how their actions are affecting you. That you are now scared of marriage. You cannot bring kids of your own for them to witness all this. Make him promise to hold his peace.

After talking to him ask if there are clothe of his you can wash.. any thing to make him believe you are not on any one's side but the side of truth.

Try it. How do you think all this actors and actresses perform and got paid. But this time you are performing to save your family.

Go the extreme to settle them,even if it means proving your mum's innocence for peace to reign.

First be sure of your mum's innocence before taking side,hence your father might see you as a traitor.

By the way,why so many incessant call from your mum. Ex sef?

Separate them when it c0mes t0 physical c0mbat....u r 0ld en0ugh....instead 0f all0wing dem inviting third parties like yhur uncles and yhur aunties,,,, call dem after dinner...hear their part 0f the st0ry...wh0eva the fault is frm....let him 0r her knw the mistake and u rec0ncile them...d0nt leave witawt them ap0l0zing t0 each0da and huggin each0da...,,, it shall be well...

Why are u supporting ur mum? Ur dad is right, why is ur mum communicating with her ex? She's married now & shouldn't be doing that, it's suspicious.
What do they have in common? That's how it all start. Tell ur mum to end any communication or business she have with that guy. Ur dad being a philanderer doesn't give her d right to cheat.

U should always interfere in any matter that concerns the family, because u're part of it & a man at that...

Anytime

Cc lalasticlala
Abeg so he can have good thinkers come to his aid

dapyd1:

Thanks.

Your dad is just being paranoid because he thinks your mom is going to do him back like he's been doing to her over the years.
He needs to hear the truth albeit in a respectful manner but truth nonetheless.

Funny thing about the saying that he who kills by the sword doesn't let anyone walk behind him with a sword. He thinks everyone is like him.
He's not happy she stayed with him all though his years of womanizing. So fighting her now is his way of self defense. Nice payback

Pls you're not a kid anymore. You can talk to your dad. For you to even know of his womanizing habits means he didn't hide it from his family. That height of disrespect.

Somebody needs to tell him the nekid truth.
It is not a pleasant job. I feel for you but it's something you must do.

u did the right thing by separating the fight, it might have ended badly. Don't ever take sides with any of ur parents in any argument, be neutral.
Honestly I think ur mom is not as innocent as u think, frequent phone calls from an ex is a key sign of infidelity so ur mom may just be frustrated and trying to payback ur dad in his own coin so advice ur mom to stop all that for peace to reign or at least be discreet about it

Why is daddy upset?
Its the same dish he has been serving mummy for years

He has created a gap and mummy has found a friend
This is what happens when you leave leprosy and go looking for a cure for excema
His wife has a need for companionship and friendship, but he is busy giving that to outside girls.
Now a little door has opened and the old boyfriend has come peeping

Pls talk to daddy man to man. This is not the time to fight and throw punches. This is a time to reflect. Mummy cant be happy and fulfilled and be finding time to connect with ex boyfriends on facebook, especially as youve said yourself that she is a very decent woman.
Mummy is lonley and unfulfilled.
Daddy needs to step up and take his proper place as a husband in the real sense of it and not just on paper

Talk to mummy too. Tell her that the kids are watching and learning from her. Let her know that many homes have been ruined by facebook. Grass may seem greener on the other side, but is moslty not. It does not speak of her if her marriage breaks down due to an affair and even though you are older children, the stigma will still affect you
No one is saying she should not have a friend, but it has to be within reason and as you have said the calls are many.
Many affairs dont start full blown and its little by little and she may not know when things go to the next level, so she has to be careful.

Thanks you all. I really appreciate your advice.
Weighing my options on decision to take.

snakebeat:
Why are u supporting ur mum? Ur dad is right, why is ur mum communicating with her ex? She's married now & shouldn't be doing that, it's suspicious.
What do they have in common? That's how it all start. Tell ur mum to end any communication or business she have with that guy. Ur dad being a philanderer doesn't give her d right to cheat.

U should always interfere in any matter that concerns the family, because u're part of it & a man at that...

Not supporting the mum but you think what the mum did is wrong and the dad's adventures with ladies are right?

dapyd1:
Hi all, please I really need your advise.
I'm a guy, clicking 24 in September. I recently graduated from a uni in Nigeria and should be going for service in November.
Now to the issue at hand, my parents have always had issues between themselves.
My Dad is a womanizer and has had his fair share of girlfriends over the years, my mum on the other hand is chaste.
He is always suspecting my mum for every little thing or anyone she sees. Recently, there was a guy my mum connected to a guy on facebook (about a week ago), he was the one that helped her into school of nursing in the eighties. She told me when he contacted her and said they have not spoken since that time as my grandma didn't want them to marry.
Fast forward to today, I came home to find my parents fighting ( I literally had to separate them and there are bruises all over my hand as I type). My dad claims my mum has been having sex with her former boyfriend and she goes to meet him after work. The evidence be claims is series of calls going to and fro between them for the past one week (and they are quite many).
They both spoke but I didn't say anything,not a word, although I would have loved to support my mum.
Now please what do I do, the calls between them are quite many but I trust my mum on a personal level.
1. Do I interfere?
2. Even if I do, how do I go about it.
3. I think all this issues have really affected me. I am now timid and hate confrontations. I also have a lot boiling inside and I am afraid of when and how it will be released.

P.S. sorry for my incoherence, there's a lot of drama going on and my mind isn't settled. I came here when I couldn't get valuable information on the net.
Mature advice needed please.

Your issues are what you should be addressing.

angelTI:


Not supporting the mum but you think what the mum did is wrong and the dad's adventures with ladies are right?

I never justified his dad promiscuous lifestyle..

My candid advice is to stay out of it.. it's none of your business actually.. they are the ones in the marriage and if they wanna be adulterous to one another it's their biz. Just continue to love them equally as your parents.

Your 24, old enough to start focusing on yourself. You got ur own life to live.