[i][i][b][b][b]I REALLY NEED YOU MY FELLOW NAIRALANDERS TO HELP ME LOOK CRITICALLY INTO DIS AND TELL ME UR OPINIONS OR WHAT YOU THINK.

IS IT NORMAL WITH GUYS TO DENY THEIR SPOUSE EVEN IN THEIR PRESENCE?IF IT IS SO WHAT DOES THAT DEPICT?

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TRADITIONALLY FOR 5 MONTHS,MY SPOUSE RESIDES IN ABUJA,I AM A BANKER,I JUST GOT TRANSFERRED TO ABUJA FROM LAGOS TO BE WITH HIM. THERE IS THIS PARTICULAR FEMALE FRIEND OF HIS THAT CALLS HIM ON PHONE REGULARLY AND THEY BOTH SPEND HOURS TALKING AND LAUGHING,JUST YESTERDAY I SAW A TEXT ON HIS PHONE FROM THE SAME GIRL ACCUSING HIM OF NOT PICKING HER CALL BECAUSE HE WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND JUST DIS EVENING,WHILE ME AND MY HUSBAND WERE GISTING ABOUT HOW THE DAY WENT,SHE CALLED AGAIN AND RIGHT THERE IN MY PRESENCE MY HUSBAND DENIED ME,TELLING THE GIRL IT WASN'T WHAT SHE ASSUMES THAT IS TO SAY, NOBODY WAS/IS WITH HIM.THIS REALLY GOT ME PISSED OFF AND I HAVE REFUSED TO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE I MIGHT BE FORCED TO INSULT HIM I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE APOLOGIZING.

RECENTLY,MY HUSBAND HAVE DEVELOPED THIS NEW HABIT OF WATCHING PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES ON-LINE, HARDLY A DAY PASSES WITHOUT HIM VISITING SUCH SITES,I CAUGHT HIM DOING SO ONE DAY,I CONFRONTED HIM WITH IT,BUT HE DEFENDED HIMSELF BY GIVING ME ONE BLIND AND FLIMSY EXCUSE.I DID NOT KNOW HIM WITH SUCH HABIT.

I REALLY AM BEGINNING TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, AND I CANT JUST STOP WONDERING IF I ACTUALLY DO KNOW HIM WELL BEFORE I AGREED TO MARRY HIM.IS IT THAT I DON'T SATISFY HIM IN BED OR IS IT A NORMAL THING FOR GUYS TO WATCH PONS. A LOT OF THINGS IS GOING ON IN MY MIND RITE NOW, I SINCERELY DO NOT CONSIDER MY SELF SAFE ANYMORE.

I SUSPECT I AM PREGNANT EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T CONFIRMED IT,IF ITS POSITIVE I REALLY WOULD NOT HAVE A SECOND THOUGHT ABOUT ABORTION,COS IF HE CAN DENY ME TODAY,HE MIGHT AS WELL DENY MY BABY TOMORROW,ITS NOT AS IF ONE IS DEAD, IT REALLY HURTS.

PLEASE I DO NEED YOUR ADVICE, IT WOULD HELP MY DECISION MAKING. THANKS.[b]

Yeah! U dnt satisfy him in bed. . .

Wow girl, sorry. I really don't know what to tell you. Experienced married people, please help her.

[size=14pt]Forget the porn, how can he deny you are his wife in front of a girl, and in your presence too Jeez, why is my blood boiling [/size]

Ewoooooooooooo . . . . . . .e get as e be o
Where are the married ppl in the house, are people easily bored in marriages

This is unusual.
How long did you guys date or was it an 'arrangee' thing?
Talk to him and let him know how you feel.
If he doesn't change, talk to somebody he respects.
Keep us posted.

tope2000:

Ewoooooooooooo . . . . . . .e get as e be o
Where are the married ppl in the house, are people easily bored in marriages

I am a married man. . . . . .The babe should get hold of her husband's female caller and talk to her with a caustic song.
Let her know you are the wife and you don't appreciate her calling your husband.
It's as simple as that.

Traditionally married for 5 months? Do trad marriages last that long?

~Sauron~:

I am a married man. . . . . .The babe should get hold of her husband's female caller and talk to her with a caustic song.
Let her know you are the wife and you don't appreciate her calling your husband.
It's as simple as that.

sharap jor who r u married to? hotfunmi?
Why cant the guy tell the babe himself, he knows he wife feels uncomfortable abt the whole thing
And why is he watching porn, wen he's got a new wife

Not too late to bolt, preggers or not

tope2000:

sharap jor who r u married to? hotfunmi?

Hotfunmi ke?? No chance!!!

Why cant the guy tell the babe himself, he knows he wife feels uncomfortable abt the whole thing.

It is disrespectful for the man to say such.

And why is he watching porn, wen he's got a new wife

He watches porn so he can locate the hole.

~Sauron~:

Hotfunmi ke?? No chance!!!

stop denying her

It is disrespectful for the man to say such.

How?? so if the table was turned round and it was ur wife that had a male friend that calls her, wud u be the one to call the dude to stop callin ur wifey or wud u tell ur wife to abt how uncomfortable u feel abt it then its her job to tell the dude abt the situation.

He watches porn so he can locate the hole.

Lmao. . . . after how many times of shagging her??

@ Topic: Quite sad! Its wrong for ur hubby to deny u under any circumstance, considering the fact that he did it because of another female is even more apalling! Drastic measures are required if u're to save ur (traditional)marriage. You can encourage him to watch the porn movie with you, it just might teach you somethings u might have been missing in ur sex-life.

U really need a heart-2-heart with that hubby of urs. Goodluck

tope2000:

stop denying her

Funmi is married to Xavier.

How?? so if the table was turned round and it was ur wife that had a male friend that calls her, wud u be the one to call the dude to stop callin ur wifey or wud u tell ur wife to abt how uncomfortable u feel abt it then its her job to tell the dude abt the situation.

Rules that apply to men are different to the ones that apply to women, abeg.

Lmao. . . .  after how many times of shagging her??

He wants to find it by himself(without guidance).

I hope you're not pregnant 

Are you only traditionally married? is he your husband in the eyes of the law?

If you dont have a REAL marriage license then he actually CAN deny you

~Sauron~:

Funmi is married to Xavier.

lol. . . i hear u

Rules that apply to men are different to the ones that apply to women, abeg.

Sexist comment

He wants to find it by himself(without guidance).

lmao. . . . this is why girls shudnt marry inexperienced guys

Hmmm, mariage issues are strong ones, any decision you take now might go along way to affect you. But People re different and thats why they will never have same solution to same problem. You are the person to solve this problem because you are the only one that can offer what her babe offers to him, I hope you know what I mean. But for a married man to deny his wife, its not ordinary, pray for him, cos he might be under a spell and besides its still a fresh marriage so your husband won`t have any reason to look outside for now if he is normal, same time if you know that thing that got both of you together, always try to repeat it with him, it might be ur food, u good character, your sexy look, w.e, just make sure he never gets tired of you but its too early tho, just 5 months



I advice you pray hard woman, 4 real. don`t try to involve family people, they might ruin you finaly.

tope2000:

lol. . . i hear u

Best believe it.

Sexist comment

All African men are sexist by default so i wear it like a badge of honour.

lmao. . . . this is why girls shudnt marry inexperienced guys

I agree. . . . .Marry the playas.

~Sauron~:

All African men are sexist by default so i wear it like a badge of honour.

Shame on all of you
This is why i am marrying Jamaican

I agree. . . . .Marry the playas.

They make berra husband if they have dropped their game sha o

@tope, dont fool urself. The ladies are not our of it tho, we shud only be praying to meet the right people in life and not barriers.

webstar:

@tope, dont fool urself. The ladies are not our of it tho, we shud only be praying to meet the right people in life and not barriers.

i dont get but i agree that meetin the right person is more important

poster girl, this is not good.

like someone said, it is time to find your own real man. but before you go, yeah go caustic soda on that other lady calling him.

some men sef.

maybe ur english is the problem.

But seriously, have a talk with him

@poster

Sorry.  If you were in the UK, you would have kicked his butt out of the house.
Keeping malice will solve nothing until you guys bring the problem to the table and discuss it

I'm anti-abortion so, i won't suggest you terminate the preg when you can always prevent him from seeing the child.  What if that was your one chance?

@ Poster, going by your account only, your husband is definitely playing the field. You should ask him who this lady is and the nature of their relationship? If he claims, she's a co-worker or nobody of significance, ask him to invite her over to the house so that you can meet her.

You might also take the extra step of calling the lady. Introduce yourself as his wife and tell her very politely that you’ve noticed calls from her number at non-business hours and wanted to know who she was. If she becomes aggressive, end the conversation. He will bring up the issue with you at some point and then ask him to tell you the truth.

Another way could be to ask one of his close friends who the lady is? You should be able to tell from his friend’s body language if he’s telling the truth. Also if there’s inconsistency with accounts from him and his friend that should immediately raise a red flag. The bigger issue is what would you do if indeed he were playing the field?

Regarding his habit of watching porn, most guys like to watch porn. But like all things too much of everything is bad. The time he spends watching porn, is time he does not spend with you. If he’s become or becoming an addict, talk to him about it and tell him you don’t like it. Try to do things with him that will keep him engaged and get him away from porn. You may not stop him completely, but can influence him to spend less time.

This is really one of the dangers of long distance relationships,  getting hooked up with someone, one does not really know so well. I hope you guys are able to working things out.

These are glaring RED FLAGS for real. . . . . .very hard to pin point the genesis of the whole problem. . .

I mean has he shown you these kinds of signs before in the past??

Like not being confident to show u off to his friends and family members??

Is he a serial cheat??

Is he violent towards u??

Has he been abusive to u in the past before in any manner, be it physically, emotionally, psychologically etc??

All these and many more questions are what u'll really have to sit down and sincerely search urself, and question urself seriously. . . .

Cos u about to be wid this man for the est of ur life, u really want to deal wid this kinda misery for the rest of ur life??

think about it!!!

Best Wishes

If you are not pregnant make sure you do not get pregnant. The man is a cheating dog and does not even consider you a relevant person. You don't need anybody to tell you what you need to do. You know already that you just need to move on with your life.

Please tell me seriously that you are not determined to live this life of tortue because my dear it will only get worse. He has shown you his real colors and if you think he will change, well, you know whats best for you.

byluk:

[i][i][b][b][b]I REALLY NEED YOU MY FELLOW NAIRALANDERS TO HELP ME LOOK CRITICALLY INTO DIS AND TELL ME UR OPINIONS OR WHAT YOU THINK.

IS IT NORMAL WITH GUYS TO DENY THEIR SPOUSE EVEN IN THEIR PRESENCE?IF IT IS SO WHAT DOES THAT DEPICT?

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TRADITIONALLY FOR 5 MONTHS,MY SPOUSE RESIDES IN ABUJA,I AM A BANKER,I JUST GOT TRANSFERRED TO ABUJA FROM LAGOS TO BE WITH HIM. THERE IS THIS PARTICULAR FEMALE FRIEND OF HIS THAT CALLS HIM ON PHONE REGULARLY AND THEY BOTH SPEND HOURS TALKING AND LAUGHING,JUST YESTERDAY I SAW A TEXT ON HIS PHONE FROM THE SAME GIRL ACCUSING HIM OF NOT PICKING HER CALL BECAUSE HE WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND JUST DIS EVENING,WHILE ME AND MY HUSBAND WERE GISTING ABOUT HOW THE DAY WENT,SHE CALLED AGAIN AND RIGHT THERE IN MY PRESENCE MY HUSBAND DENIED ME,TELLING THE GIRL IT WASN'T WHAT SHE ASSUMES THAT IS TO SAY, NOBODY WAS/IS WITH HIM.THIS REALLY GOT ME PISSED OFF AND I HAVE REFUSED TO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE I MIGHT BE FORCED TO INSULT HIM I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE APOLOGIZING.

RECENTLY,MY HUSBAND HAVE DEVELOPED THIS NEW HABIT OF WATCHING PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES ON-LINE, HARDLY A DAY PASSES WITHOUT HIM VISITING SUCH SITES,I CAUGHT HIM DOING SO ONE DAY,I CONFRONTED HIM WITH IT,BUT HE DEFENDED HIMSELF BY GIVING ME ONE BLIND AND FLIMSY EXCUSE.I DID NOT KNOW HIM WITH SUCH HABIT.

I REALLY AM BEGINNING TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, AND I CANT JUST STOP WONDERING IF I ACTUALLY DO KNOW HIM WELL BEFORE I AGREED TO MARRY HIM.IS IT THAT I DON'T SATISFY HIM IN BED OR IS IT A NORMAL THING FOR GUYS TO WATCH PONS. A LOT OF THINGS IS GOING ON IN MY MIND RITE NOW, I SINCERELY DO NOT CONSIDER MY SELF SAFE ANYMORE.

I SUSPECT I AM PREGNANT EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T CONFIRMED IT,IF ITS POSITIVE I REALLY WOULD NOT HAVE A SECOND THOUGHT ABOUT ABORTION,COS IF HE CAN DENY ME TODAY,HE MIGHT AS WELL DENY MY BABY TOMORROW,ITS NOT AS IF ONE IS DEAD, IT REALLY HURTS.

PLEASE I DO NEED YOUR ADVICE, IT WOULD HELP MY DECISION MAKING. THANKS.[b]

story story. . .

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=112703;sa=showPosts

byluk:

I recently dumped this cool guy because his really mean with money and now I realise I'm in love with him so I'm stuck in a dilemma

Do I go back to him & be grateful for his non faults or do I suppress d love and wait for Mr perfect.

I mean what's the point of having a boyfriend who won't take u out for a date not b'because he can't afford to but b'cos he is frugal with money.

besides his being parsimonious he is a ladies man.

Nairalanders  I need your help please.

our bank worker dey find job two out of several of her job seeking posts

byluk:

hi graceade,i have been invited for the test also in lagos.Google search the tst format of pwc.Dat was wat i did and it has been quite helpful.C you on saturday.Take care

byluk:

Dats not true, i just applied now and was able to upload my CV.Try again ok

funnily enough while everybody was disturbed by the 'husbands' infidelity,  almost no one was bothered by the porn. . .

pornography is part of man, if you take it out of a man you'll be left with a dummy although depending on the motives behind watching a porn, cos it shouldn't be an aid to adultery.

but i wonder did you guys courted at all for you not to have noticed all his misbehavior initially,
this should serve as a lesson to single ladies out there to watch before they leap, guys can be so cunning in hiding their vices, especially during courtship.

I'll suggest you confront him with the whole issue, and his response to it should determine you keeping the pregnancy or not.

marriage should be enjoyed and not endured.

oyb na wa for you oh

Are you saying someone asking for a job since March 08 couldn't have become a banker in that time?

Besides, this might be the same parsimonious man who is now denying her while talking to another woman.

The porn is a serious issue issue - a bad habit/dangerous addiction, BUT denying your 'traditional wife' because of another chick while she is there and likely pregnant? That is ultimate betrayal for a woman.

It seems you don't really know this man. If you aren't properly married and you are pregnant, he could easily deny you and your child. I pray you aren't pregnant. If you aren't, then you can leave him if he's no longer interested in the relationship.