[b]I'm a white Canadian woman in a relationship with a Nigerian man.  The differences in culture are still new to me so I thought this would be a good way to learn about him since I believe where you come from is a big part of who you are. 

So far, he is quite sweet.   He opens the car door for me, takes me out to movies and dinner, he holds my hand when shopping in stores and compliments me all the time.  I have heard that Nigerian men are not generally romantic and yet he is, or at least he seems to be.

I really do care for him and I guess I am hoping to get some insight in how he thinks and feels from people who share his background.  He is definately someone who's actions speak louder than words because he does plenty for me but is not very forward with discussing his feelings.  Any insight any of you care to share is appreciated.  Thanks!   

yep u just described one of us, enjoy ur wonderfully crafted gift to the world- "the nigerian man"

So what exactly do u want? Insight?! If Yes, pls contact 'patwitchkid', the Nairaland Head-Witch & provide her with ur man's name & age. . .
That'll solve all ya wahala. . .

every men are different and you might find a wonderful nigerian guy today and the next one might be the worst of its kind, but it shouldn't be a reason to put all nigerians under the same umbrella,  a man's nationality shouldn't define who he is personality wise. only time will tell you what kind of man he is. so far, his actions shouldn't have brought you to this thread since he is a perfect gentleman and the relationship is quite new (as you put it). opening himself to you and discussing his feelings will come with time.

haha, no no, no need to voodoo him or anything, lol

I'm just trying to learn about his background and how relationships usually work in your culture.   I wish he were more willing to discuss things but he was hurt badly and trusts very little.  So instead of pushing him to talk about something he is not ready to discuss, I am trying to learn on my own.

Yea yea yea. Nigerian men are sweet, chewing gum, biscuit etc. But keep your eyes wide open because a good number of them are also victimizers.

Caper143:

I'm just trying to learn about his background and how relationships usually work in your culture.   I wish he were more willing to discuss things but he was hurt badly and trusts very little.  So instead of pushing him to talk about something he is not ready to discuss, I am trying to learn on my own.

only by knowing what really happened with his ex, can you understand him better.
in order for us to reply then, we would have needed more infos about his age, his background and dating background.
the best would have been for you to ask his ex gfs but that would be stepping the line on his privacy (but if all his exes have something nightmarish/negative to say about him then run!!!!!)

@ mad kid
Yeah! But a better number of Nigerian women are worse than their male counterparts.


@ capri

Perhaps u should providd more info on him. His state perhaps cos Naija is small but mighty!

@ caper143
show respect and that's all u need. Nigerian men love ladies who are easygoing and humble. it would also be a very nice idea to show more interest in things he likes maybe some afro stuffs(music, fabrics etc). on the courtesy issue, you said he opens the door for you and all that, tell him to be real with you cos I doubt if he is being genuine in that aspect. but you will definitely have a great time with him and i say this because we Nigerian guys are the bomb!!

@poster, Nigerian men are very very simple and cool headed only if the partner can be good enough to bring out the best in us. But the major keys to our heart is when our lady respect us ,Show us how much you love and care (dont pretend not to be in love,show it) , Praise us whenever we've done someffin good, Be 100% concerned about his progression.If you can do all this , I bet every other ffin will follow , Already with all this ffins his doing for you , you should see that he truely LOVE YOU . So pls and pls , just stick to him Ok? Nigerian mens are one of the best ever, l8er

@ caper143

nedureg01:


show respect and that's all u need. Nigerian men love ladies who are easygoing and humble.  it would also be a very nice idea to show more interest in things he likes maybe some afro stuffs(music, fabrics etc). on the courtesy issue, you said he opens the door for you and all that,  tell him to be real with you cos I doubt if he is being genuine in that aspect. but you will definitely have a great time with him and i say this because we Nigerian guys are the bomb!!

Caper143, I bolded that statement in nedureg01 posting. I can tell you that it is very possible that he genuinely does that contrary to what that posting may have insinuated. A true gentleman who knows how to treat a lady he cares about will definitely open the doors, pull your chair, and a lot more so it is very possible this is very genuine. This is from my personal experience and what I have seen here.

Now, that Nigerian men are not romantic, I believe everyone is different and I can tell you I know ladies who have a contrary opinion. So, my point, it depends on the person and you will definitely be able to form your opinion based on your experience with him.

Thank you all for that information, He is very cool headed. And I do praise him because he has a job that he works very hard at and he also returned to university at 33 years old to better his life, so he doesn't sleep alot and is always at work or school, what little spare time he has is for me, I always let him know that I am impressed and proud of him for working so hard to improve his future. I don't expect anything from him because I am quite capable of getting anything I want for myself, so maybe that is why he tries so hard to make me happy.

just treat him like a normal guy and use ur discretion. be a lil patient with him cos white folks and black folks have different cultural backgrounds. I'm sure his being patient with u cos ure white too. Sooner or later u guys will understand each other

some poster wrote "you said he opens the door for you and all that,  tell him to be real with you cos I doubt if he is being genuine in that aspect"
most Nigerian men who have imbibed the western culture do open house and car doors for thier spouses,i guess it buttresses the saying,when you are in Rome you behave like romans.Who said we cant do that because we are Nigerians?

@Capri
As for his further studies,trust me,nigerian men are good at pursuing thier dreams.We aint only hard working,we are about the most read in the Black world,ever heard of Soyinka,Achebe,Philips Emegwali? they are all Nigerian men.
You should feel pretty free with your man.Give him all the support and understanding he deserves,Nigerians are not all monsters and fraudstars like the world media claims,though we got some awful bad eggs,just like every other nation.You are in safe hands,but thread "carefully normally" too,when he bcomes pretty free with you as well,he ll open up on any issue, Relationship and open communication gets deeper with time worldover.

@POST
to findout what he's really like you have to see how he treats other people not you. Nigerian men do change. Especially after marriage or when you have children. Don't judge a book by its cover.

Marriage and children changes everyone because priorities shift so I don't think that has much to do with culture.

I did learn something new from him last night, he told me he wanted to take me dancing on saturday night, which I think is great but he's working most of the day into the evening (12 hours) and I don't want him to go out of his way for me especially when I know he will be tired, I told him that we could just watch a movie or something that would take less of his energy. He made sure to tell me that he does things for me because he wants to and for no other reason and if he didn't want to dance with me then he would not have offered.

He has a bit of a stubborn streak, we might butt heads over that in the future, but with every arguement is an excuse to make up.

wbb

hmmm, what does 'wbb' mean?

it means 'will be back' to teach you how to cook and chop pepper soup and egusi soup with heavy poundo

You lucky woman !

@poster
I would want to believe that you guys genuinely have something on and that your guy is comfortable with WHO he is and does not have HANG UPS.~~~Now, the stereotypical WESTERN lady is viewed in Nigeria as being too EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE AND CLINGY. Please, ma'am, this is a huge TURNOFF for the AVERAGE Nigerian man. He loves his woman STRONG and a wee INDEPENDENT.~~~You must not be an APPENDAGE to him otherwise,trust me, the attraction will wan. You should learn to do your own things and not CROWD him.
A cardinal rule for an AFRICAN man is RESPECT and TRUST.Give him this and ur more than HALFWAY there.
Do not PRY unduly as you might have him rattled. You should KNOW That He might carry HUGE RESPOSIBILITIES back home in Nigeria that might SULLEN HIS MOOD sometimes and that he wouldn' want you to be privy to. So leave him when He CLAMS UP.Just offer emotional SUPPORT not PRYING.He'd as soon be comfortable with you and HE'LL TELL.
The rest is easy ma'am; JUST USE UR FEMALE INTUITION and he'll be PUTTY in ur hands. just remember to MOULD WELL. GOOD LUCK!

well thanks for that advice. I have to say, I realize I am not like most women. I am far from needy, I am not jealous, I hate drama and I am very strong mentally and emotionally, I am not submissive and if I need something then I get it for myself and I don't need anyone's approval to do so.

I don't need a man, I want one, there is a big difference, lol

Nigerian men are the best! The very best I tell you. They are so helpful and giving . . the way they go out of their way to give a woman the pleasure of catering to their needs is selflessness at its very best and they themselves are the best.

Nigerian men are so patient, especially when it comes to the part where they are telling a girl the many ways she should respect them.

Honestly, I love Nigerian men, I love them. . . even before I met them I love them. You hate them compared to how much I love them.

They are the best. . . oh wait I said that already. Ah well I can't say that enough. . . NIGERIAN MEN ARE THE BEST!!

@ Sisi jinx


How much were you paid to say all dose nice things about naija men?

@Poster, U seem to be a very nice lady. Pls make sure U r not over-possesive towards him and U r ready to come to Nigeria to visit his family (i.e if U eventually marry him) if he requests so.U r a lucky woman

sista-jay:

@ Sisi jinx


How much were you paid to say all dose nice things about naija men?

Whatever do you mean?!!

I'd say nice things about Naija men for free!!!!!

Marra of fact, I'd pay for the opportunity to say nice things about my Naija men.

Oh how I love my Naija men. . . .

Sisi has only kind words for nigerian men now . . . it took me to show her our good sides.
sisi mi bawo ni?

Sisi is just plain sarcastic
nig man indeed
we still love them sha

shine one eye and close the other caper143

hmmn,understanding a naija man?even naija women are still trying to figure that out.

Dr. Tony, I never really thought about going to Nigeria, but if the opportunity arose then I have no reason to say no. Life is an adventure that must be lived.

@ poster,

far from what many western media potray about nigeria, nigerian men are nigerians are very wonderful people, a trip to nigeria will definately tell you so because foreigners are pampered here and treated with so much respect,

i wish u well in your relationship, be cool , loving and attempting and respecting each others space

Woodpecker:

yep u just described one of us, enjoy ur wonderfully crafted gift to the world- "the nigerian man"

You've just got to love their confidence. *rolls eyes*