Ishilove:

Really? I had no idea you were old enough to marry

When did you two get married?

Idowuogbo:

for real? hmmmm...no invites,nothing!

Nihilist:


You still dey alive iwo girl yii?

hensben:
Yes! a curse and it was not wiped out in NT. However, we as humans are trying our best to put things right by placing laws to abolish or rather control such acts. Though, in Africa Nigeria precisely, the law is not yet in full force but we shall get there very soon.

standd:


Hmmmmn, it is being taught that the blood of Jesus, wiped away all the laws and 'curses' of the OT.
If Jesus died for us all, why is the curse of the father still effective?

hensben:
If true Jesus wiped out those curses with His blood then why are human(men mostly) still struggling before they eat, why do women still feel pain when they want to give birth, so you see. We ought to be like the birds in the sky who doesn't worry on what to eat because they know The Lord will always provide.

standd:


So we are still under the curse? I find this hard to believe.

hensben:
of course, Jesus only came to die for our sins at the end, only those who believe in him will be save.

standd:


So if you believe in Jesus, you are free from the curse and all it's resulting effects.

Nihilist:


I'm 27 hahahaha

We got married in March.

How far your side na? Any Mr Ishilove?

lefulefu:
diz thread dey very educative.make i hold space

standd:

lefulefu:
madame i mean no harm ooo i come in piss

kevinberry:
And yet,another of my wonderful nl model lost the respect I have for her because of her bitterness towards men...chai...

One thing is sure,there is no way things are going to improve if we keep on pointing fingers..we are all in this mess together...I have my own stories of others to tell,so also do others have stories about me to tell...but one thing about human is that they will never agree to be the problem,they would rather points fingers...

Note: naturally I hate females(not all females)so I normally call a female a sluts,when she exhibit the characteristics of a slut..

“Phones and days getting shorter and smarter,but humans the opposite”

#Lifted

shaybebaby:
Just seeing this thread and your write up is amazeballs. However the naming of men as hypocrites, whilst true, is not a gender specific thing. We women are guilty of the same.
It right that women are oppressed in the society, there are many firms of oppression, some which affect men, women, and children alike such as racism, class inequality etc but I understand that this is the one under scrutiny at this time. Anyone who wants to discuss other societal issues they are passionate about should create a thread for it.
But the work in changing the status quo lies with us women, the oppressed in this case. You rightly mentioned that men seem to endorse these maltreatments because it seems most beneficial to them. For that reason, they cannot be invested in the same manner in eradicating something that would lessen the so- called privileges the society affords them.
I do not know if you have read " the pedagogy of the oppressed" by Paulo Freire. If you haven't, then I urge you to read. Fear of the unknown has always been a tool used to control and even whilst we are chaffing against the bonds of restraint placed upon us, there is some kind of warped comfort derived by many in the familiar.
To be totally free, we must accept our role but also move forward boldly in the face of censure accepting that our fate is ours to shape.
Whatever the outcome, we must take full responsibility. This is where I believe the work must be done because I believe you have noticed that the norm is when bad things happen, people generally look externally to apportion blame. I am not saying that we are to blame, I am saying. that we need to look inwards as to how we can influence those things we cannot control, and adjust our response to them accordingly.
One of my favourite sayings( can't remember where I came across it) is "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to respond to it". Hence the men, in my opinion are the 10%, and ... You get what I mean.
We hold the keys to our emancipation.

standd:


Thanks for this great post. I will also check out the book you recommended.
I understand that hypocrisy is not gender specific but then, this thread is borne out of the glaring fact that men have done the name-calling for too long, they are even beginning to believe that they can do all sorts of things against women and get away with it.

shaybebaby:

Thank you. I totally understand your point of view. They are everything that you have pointed out but the caution I am advising is that in the process to the enlightenment of our women-folk, we must take care not to become like the very thing we abhor and seek to free ourselves from. Balance is required, that and restraint. It is not saying we are stupid but our actions alone should be enough reproach and a lesson to say we are not cowed, not only did we destroy the ways of old, we will show you a BETTER way.
You do write beautifully, your emotions are justified, I am easily angered and frustrated by what I see around me. But we must channel into cold burning and calculated rage to see justice for our kind.

standd:


Yes. Enlightening the females to work for their own money and shun the things that expose them to harm.
Enlightening the men to either educate or expose offenders amongst them and not pat themselves in the back, while sitting around feeling they can do no wrong and calling women name.

Then working on sensitizing the public by publishing names and pictures of convicted sexual offenders cos the rate at which rape is getting rampant is disheartening; and then when this men get away with it, they may relocate and commit the same offence.

shaybebaby:
Just seeing this thread and your write up is amazeballs. However the naming of men as hypocrites, whilst true, is not a gender specific thing. We women are guilty of the same.
It right that women are oppressed in the society, there are many firms of oppression, some which affect men, women, and children alike such as racism, class inequality etc but I understand that this is the one under scrutiny at this time. Anyone who wants to discuss other societal issues they are passionate about should create a thread for it.
But the work in changing the status quo lies with us women, the oppressed in this case. You rightly mentioned that men seem to endorse these maltreatments because it seems most beneficial to them. For that reason, they cannot be invested in the same manner in eradicating something that would lessen the so- called privileges the society affords them.
I do not know if you have read " the pedagogy of the oppressed" by Paulo Freire. If you haven't, then I urge you to read. Fear of the unknown has always been a tool used to control and even whilst we are chaffing against the bonds of restraint placed upon us, there is some kind of warped comfort derived by many in the familiar.
To be totally free, we must accept our role but also move forward boldly in the face of censure accepting that our fate is ours to shape.
Whatever the outcome, we must take full responsibility. This is where I believe the work must be done because I believe you have noticed that the norm is when bad things happen, people generally look externally to apportion blame. I am not saying that we are to blame, I am saying that we need to look inwards as to how we can influence those things we cannot control, and adjust our response to them accordingly.
One of my favourite sayings( can't remember where I came across it) is "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to respond to it". Hence the men, in my opinion are the 10%, and ... You get what I mean.
We hold the keys to our emancipation.

chinedumo:


if i ask you why you are so smart will you answer?

shaybebaby:
Just seeing this thread and your write up is amazeballs. However the naming of men as hypocrites, whilst true, is not a gender specific thing. We women are guilty of the same.
It right that women are oppressed in the society, there are many firms of oppression, some which affect men, women, and children alike such as racism, class inequality etc but I understand that this is the one under scrutiny at this time. Anyone who wants to discuss other societal issues they are passionate about should create a thread for it.
But the work in changing the status quo lies with us women, the oppressed in this case. You rightly mentioned that men seem to endorse these maltreatments because it seems most beneficial to them. For that reason, they cannot be invested in the same manner in eradicating something that would lessen the so- called privileges the society affords them.
I do not know if you have read " the pedagogy of the oppressed" by Paulo Freire. If you haven't, then I urge you to read. Fear of the unknown has always been a tool used to control and even whilst we are chaffing against the bonds of restraint placed upon us, there is some kind of warped comfort derived by many in the familiar.
To be totally free, we must accept our role but also move forward boldly in the face of censure accepting that our fate is ours to shape.
Whatever the outcome, we must take full responsibility. This is where I believe the work must be done because I believe you have noticed that the norm is when bad things happen, people generally look externally to apportion blame. I am not saying that we are to blame, I am saying that we need to look inwards as to how we can influence those things we cannot control, and adjust our response to them accordingly.
One of my favourite sayings( can't remember where I came across it) is "life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to respond to it". Hence the men, in my opinion are the 10%, and ... You get what I mean.
We hold the keys to our emancipation.

shaybebaby:

I am humbled, thank you very much. I am not smart, I am a mother and would love to see a better world for my child than the one I live/ grew up in.
In turn, that shapes and motivates me to try to be one the kind of person I hope my child meets and interacts with one day. It starts with you, I and all of us.

babygirlfl:


You must be my sister from another mother. Every generation should leave a better world for the next generation. The problem with Africa and Nigeria in particular is that we want to live the way our forefathers lived. Hence you hear things like it has always been done like this. Most people don't even know why it's done that way because if people knew, they would understand that those things are not applicable today. Another thing is that some women will want younger women to suffer what they suffered. To them, that is the only way the younger one will appreciate what they went through. In some other part of the world, people start foundations to stop what happened to them from happening to others but in our own world, our women will advice you to do exactly the same thing they did and suffer the same thing they suffered.

babygirlfl:


This is just lovely beautiful and epic. I have read it at least three times and counting. I have said it many times. Women are the people who can and will change whatever bad treatment they suffer. People learn everyday and in my fight for gender equality, I see myself drifting from fighting for it from the men's angle to fighting for it from the women's angle. Most women for cultural and religious reasons don't believe they should be treated well. Some believe they are meant to be treated like that even when they don't like the treatment. The first step in our fight go gender equality will be to make women know that it should not be like that. Then women can push for a change.You cannot expect men who enjoy this privilege to fight to stop it. Yes we do have men who are considerate like some of them I follow on Nairaland and would fight for a course to help women but we have to realise that these men are few. Only women will solve their problem.

shaybebaby:

Thank you once again. Our opinions are congruent. We do not seek to become oppressors and must take care that our empowerment does not come at the expense of our sons too. Equality irrespective of gender all the way.

shaybebaby:

I am humbled, thank you very much. I am not smart, I am a mother and would love to see a better world for my child than the one I live/ grew up in.
In turn, that shapes and motivates me to try to be one the kind of person I hope my child meets and interacts with one day. It starts with you, I and all of us.

babygirlfl:


You must be my sister from another mother. Every generation should leave a better world for the next generation. The problem with Africa and Nigeria in particular is that we want to live the way our forefathers lived. Hence you hear things like it has always been done like this. Most people don't even know why it's done that way because if people knew, they would understand that those things are not applicable today. Another thing is that some women will want younger women to suffer what they suffered. To them, that is the only way the younger one will appreciate what they went through . In some other part of the world, people start foundations to stop what happened to them from happening to others but in our own world, our women will advice you to do exactly the same thing they did and suffer the same thing they suffered.

standd:


The bolded is our greatest undoing. Women continue to beat women down so much so that when you clamour for an end to injustice, you meet a woman like you pulling you down and quoting tradition.
Like I used to say, we can not achieve all in just one day and Nigerian women will finally evolve to embrace fully their humanity and not the aberration that traditions and society have made them out to be.
I may not live long enough to witness this but I will be one of the voices that called forth change and freedom, by God's grace.

babygirlfl and shaybebaby, thanks for gracing this thread.