Many ladies are married today simply because they got pregnant for a man they would naturally not want to marry. Many men are married also because they impregnated a girl they just wanted to date not marry, but they had to marry since a baby was coming. Their reason for ending up as a couple is in the first place misplaced, hence there is a tendency they would have very troubled marriage, as both of them would see gaps and find faults with each other. The why for their getting married is not the reason for marriage; so they'll end up as parents to their children but hardly see themselves as the right husband or wife for themselves. The mistakes and weaknesses in each of their lives would be looked upon with dismay and regret; each party believing if they had married who they really wanted, these gaps wouldn't be there. When the reason for a choice or decision is not concrete or sensible enough, you would eventually feel disappointed, discouraged and down cast. You will feel used, abused and misused, you'd become upset and sensitive and you would begin to develop a victim mentality – you'd feel as if the whole world is against you. This is because your lack of understanding of your life due to flippant choices made in time past is rendering you helpless and your life is out of your control; you're not in charge anymore, you have become a victim, in fact a tool of your own life. Too many people today are angry because their lives are out of control, hence they hold those they feel are now in charge of their lives responsible for all that happens to them. They have become experts in blame games, finger pointing and criticism. Their parents are at fault, their rich uncle is at fault, the government is at fault, their spouses are at fault, their employer is at fault, the devil is at fault, somebody is always at fault when things don't go well; it's never their own fault, its someone else that is always responsible. A sure mark of loss of control. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to put ‘the whys' behind ‘the what's' in your lives. It's time you define clearly the reason and objectives for everything in your life. This is the first line of action in regaining control of your life.