Scenario:

You and your husband/wife are looking for a home to buy to live in with your kids, cat, dog, chickens etc. Your initial thoughts were to go and live in Ibadan, but then your mother in law 'over hears' your discussions and consults your other half, pleading with them to convince you and the family to buy near her home, (like 10 MINUTES AWAY )!!! which is in the next state!

She now uses emotional blackmail by saying to your other half that she is very old, and when the babies start coming she will not have the energy to be coming all the way to you to be helping looking after the children, that it is her right to do so, and how important it is for her to have a role in their lives etc!!!! And after all she is going to go soon etc etc

your other half is coming round to this idea, but the reason you wanted to move to a complete different state was to get away from your in laws as far as possible in the first place.

what would you do in this situation?       

No!!!!!!!!! I'm not living near hismom neither am I living any close to my mom.

I love my mom, but distance makes any relationship grows stronger

@post
In this situation, what to do is quite simple.
Don't live close to any of them or else you want to start an uproar.

My mother in law have no say in where my family n I lives

Is he her only child? If she wants to help with the kids then she can come visit and go back home like all mother n laws do but I must say every case is different. It depends on your relationship with her. She might be the sweetest thing but difficult to live with and that is exactly what will be happening if your house is only one bus stop away.

i wouldnt agree to the idea no matter my relationship with her, good or bad. i just want my own space with my our family and i dont want her looking over my shoulder every time i do something, and it wouldnt be more exciting to have her come when it there is a child, cox she lives near.

as for the husband, agreeing to the idea, he has to choose one me or the mom, he is marrying me not his mother so i dont think he would over rule my choice just to have his mom near, cox then i would also want to live near my own mother. which would turn into the " battle of the mothers"

I doubt my inlaws / family will have any bearing on where we decide to live.

say werin? most likely listen to whatever advise they have but the decision will still be ours to make.

Abeg!!! No way, for the simple fact that my husband can always pick her up and bring her to our place for however long I decide!!! and also when she eventually passes, we will be in a state/location that we never truly wanted to be in the first place!!

Secretz:

Scenario:

You and your husband/wife are looking for a home to buy to live in with your kids, cat, dog, chickens etc. Your initial thoughts were to go and live in Ibadan, but then your mother in law 'over hears' your discussions and consults your other half, pleading with them to convince you and the family to buy near her home, (like 10 MINUTES AWAY )!!! which is in the next state!

She now uses emotional blackmail by saying to your other half that she is very old, and when the babies start coming she will not have the energy to be coming all the way to you to be helping looking after the children, that it is her right to do so, and how important it is for her to have a role in their lives etc!!!! And after all she is going to go soon etc etc

your other half is coming round to this idea, but the reason you wanted to move to a complete different state was to get away from your in laws as far as possible in the first place.

what would you do in this situation?

bring her closer home

spikedcylinder:

I thought the decision to get a home with a husband/wife should be half and half i.e half the husband, half the wife.

I agree, but what if hes soooo close to his mom, and he is an only child? and the mother is sooo persistent? really making him feel bad? lol

huum, men are so funny, the other day my fiance suggested that he didnt want to live his {widowed} mum living all alone in the house as his sisters wont take care of her {he has younger sisters who are not married o imagine that} as she was fnot as strong as she used 2 be due to age, he then suggested that we live in his family house which is his by inheritance with his sisters and his mum. see me see marital sucide + abortion o, i just kept my cool becos i knew it was a very silly idea and i didnt want it to seem like i was trying to seperate of scatter his family bond. i just acted like a fool. later on it turned out that his mum had suggested it to him, na wa for mothers sef, over love will not kill them. in a bid to garnish his mind she even said that it was me that could take care of her even more than her daughters {see old woman playing mind games o, hehehehhe}

anyway sha, after a while he came back and said that infact he thinks he needs to get another apartment so he can focus on his immediate family first, { na me tell am?}

men, u can never really understand them, always feeling hard, but are really easily manipulable and sentimental especially to their wives and mothers.

make we continue to pray for them sha!