I keep telling parents these,and won't stop until our kids get pretty toughened by circumstances

OP...this is a lovely write up. this post is also multifaceted, however i will treat your post as such.
this post is for the elites, polithiefcians, civil stealers e.t.c who has for many years been destroying this beautiful country for many years through their action and inactions to the extent that most of the public facilities such as tertiary institutions, hospitals, schools are in such a decripit and decadent condition. every where you turn you see chaos and things not working normally.

for the records situation of the country instead of improving is getting worse esp in the public sector, take for example in the 80s and 70s, a primary school cert holder could communicate in english properly and was capable of writing a good letter. but now a graduate cannot even spell their name.
if the head of leaders of this great country was correct by now pupils and student should have been sitting to recieve learning and instruction from air conditioned classes. they should not be sitting on the ground or walking barefoot for kilometres like their father did.
you talked about summer jobs, where are the jobs in this country in the first place, what you are saying are obtainable only in countries that work.
this post again is for the children of these elites

Biliamin:
LETTER I I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.

Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.

That is just the side of life the writer is seeing.

Kylie Jenner owns a ferrari. Birdman's daughter owns one and a bmw xseries. Bill Gates bought a mansion for his daughter so she'll be closer to the town she plays polo at and she is 17 thereabout. I hate it when Nigerians write shittttsss with a spark in their context. Feeling like they are offering something major. More like mansplaining things to other Nigerians.

Where is the sense in the write-up please? Flying first class makes you what? Instead of addressing the real issue of parents not teaching their kids not to be greedy, staying home and not being all about business, scolding them when they tell a lie, allowing others to correct them by not being overprotective and pampering. Teaching kids values.

This is rubbish!! So parents should not help their kids? If they get the job will the parents work for them?

How many kids are jobs hunted for? How does this even apply to a Nigeria where rich people are hard to find? Hell parents should send their kids to substandard schools they went to so they won't appear to be suffering the 'not wanting their kids to suffer what they suffered' syndrome.

If their was a forum for just rich people then this rubbish is meaningful.


FxDuke

Biliamin Sir, God bless you for this wonderful piece. Am glad I was raised to earn every penny in my pocket. The bad thing is that these are the same parents looting the future of our unborn kids away through stealing of our national cake. I am so scared of naija as we speak because the gap between the rich and the poor, has stopped being a gap a long time ago. It is now a continent. If we couldn't bridge a gap, how do we bridge a continent? God help us....Thanks once again. Respect infinito!

bla bla bla! hard work this, hard work that, where is the work self in Nigeria to start with? In all honesty, I won't send my child to go do petrol attendant all in the name of working, if I am rich. Modesty should be the key word. For example, Obasonjo's daughter is a PhD holder working in US, Atiku's daughter is a medical doctor working in a hospital in Abuja, Achebe's son is the MD of a clinic in the US.

ladyF:
Not completely true. Some children of rich parents work to make something of themselves on their own.

I think Rich parents are caring and jealously protective- infact, i'll say over protective towards their children.

My dad is not very rich but still, he's not poor. He's one of the few parents that wants his children to learn being hard working and coping with any current condition. Despite the cars in his yard, he did not give me any, mummy pleaded bot dad was firm with his' NO' i collected mum's SUV and was doing big boy during my school time. When t'was time for NYSC, i had to return mum's car, now struggling begings. After my service year, I got a small job with a construction firm as a site Engr, now i've learnt to live on the little i earn, i cook for myself as a bachellor and no more giving my dirty cloths to dry cleaner. My parents are proud, my company is proud of my hardwork and commitment. I disliked my dad and called my upbringing a millitary training.

For the sake of this post alone, i forgive my dad today.

missdebs:
mo fe lowo ju daddy mi ooo, only in nigeria would u see parents using java phones and dier kids using iphone 6.

This babe fine abeg

I'm surprised to hear that even the queen in the UK flies commercial flights. I'm not sure if that makes any sense for security reasons particularly.
Certain things that work in the UK or the US will definitely not work elsewhere. Is it greed or something? I'm sure the royal family can afford the convenience of a dedicated means of transportation.

This is what I call rich and educative article.

blank:
I wonder how many times this same write up will make front page.

Keep recycling same stories and changing few sentences.

This thread breaks Rule 14.

Sick and tired of it's holier than thou message.

https://www.nairaland.com/516057/open-letter-middle-class-lagos-parents#6780167

The link above shows it was as early as 2010.

https://www.nairaland.com/700084/parents-buy-into#8599178. Same story in 2011.

https://www.nairaland.com/895335/which-way-forward-nigeria-must#10416776 This was 2012

https://www.nairaland.com/1467891/parents#18657664 2013

https://www.nairaland.com/1912919/which-way-nigeria-must-read#26480662 2014

and here it is again in 2015.

Na wa o ! Who originally wrote this article ?

i have read this article before...

Good writeup. It is good to give our kids a better life than we had but we should be mindful in doing it. The british royals are trained from birth to live a modest life and their system see to it that public servants live a modest life. I know some wealthy Nigerian parents out there that actually teach their kids the virtue of hardwork.

Mbkite:
What a piece

@ ur moniker, seems u are a product of PS mbk

dearpreye:


Thanks for your comment. The Japanese are amongst the world's most hardworking people. To them, hard park is more than intelligence. These folks are hardworking!

Yea bro. The principle of hardwork is simply the key to real success. Nigeria has the potential to rule Africa, but sadly, we can't attain that feat if we continue like this.

Biliamin:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS written by Adeyinka Temitope

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now.

The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00.

I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.

Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.

The OP isn't the originator of this write up. I have come across it before. Anyways ww can relate to most of the points stated, and can say it's food for thought.

ladyF:
Not completely true. Some children of rich parents work to make something of themselves on their own.

It's [size=20pt]LadyF[/size] again

Why only you this LADY F? is like i am falling in lost for u oooo

too much of anything is bad

The punchline here is to teach your kids hard work, to value things and be grateful. That is the most important. I don't believe in depriving my child the perks of my sweat, they would fly first class conditionally, etc. Teaching them hardwork is the most important. The method differs.

Huuuh... I dont pray my children to pass through what am going through now. I have to hustle hard,so they dont suffer. Though i have to let them know what it takes to provide for them too.

[quote author=Esdb3 post=37166805]

That is just the side of life the writer is seeing.

Kylie Jenner owns a ferrari. Birdman's daughter owns one and a bmw xseries. Bill Gates bought a mansion for his daughter so she'll be closer to the town she plays polo at and she is 17 thereabout. I hate it when Nigerians write shittttsss with a spark in their context. Feeling like they are offering something major. More like mansplaining things to other Nigerians.

Where is the sense in the write-up please? Flying first class makes you what? Instead of addressing the real issue of parents not teaching their kids not to be greedy, staying home and not being all about business, scolding them when they tell a lie, allowing others to correct them by not being overprotective and pampering. Teaching kids values.

This is rubbish!! So parents should not help their kids? If they get the job will the parents work for them?

How many kids are jobs hunted for? How does this even apply to a Nigeria where rich people are hard to find? Hell parents should send their kids to substandard schools they went to so they won't appear to be suffering the 'not wanting their kids to suffer what they suffered' syndrome.

If their was a forum for just rich people then this rubbish is meaningful.


FxDuke[/quote

I don't usually use abusive words in my post but I think this nite can be pardoned.


You wrote as an uneducated fella yet u know what's happening in d country.

Pls, re-read d OP's post again. The rate of decadence in Naija is immeasurable. The rich ones have so spoilt their children that it has become so glaring that they have no mercy for the "have-nots".

God bless the OP.

This thread has been on the front page before by another poster ages ago. Word for word!

The original article is 'parenting in Nigeria' by Tolu Ayorinde.



This is a mere copy and paste and while not disagreeing with any of the points "copied", I think the op of this thread should quote the former.

Shalom.

Great piece OP.
Awesome!

Atlantian:
You are incapable of wishing me luck, cos I do not believe nor trust in luck. I can not relate with your thread because it is factless, tactless, devoid of contemplative cerebration. I should, however, score you low, hoping you will improve and impress in your future posts. Sorry.

You need cognitive therapy

[quote author=verygudbadguy post=37172102][/quote]

I wrote like an illiterate? Well illiteracy does not mean one lacks wisdom. Your reply is a proof that education is not wisdom.

Did I reply otherwise? Did you not see me ask that parents their wards not to be greedy? I simply simpleton, meant that the thread does not belong here! It shouldn't be directed to all Nigerians like it is.

Jonathan was poor from birth, Obasanjo too, Buhari too, Atiku also and even Abacha. How does the write-up address these people?

NEROSKY:


You need cognitive therapy

That is a new grammar you just learnt. And you are looking for how to express it.

Atlantian:
I am incapable of being altruistic with silly people and opinions.

Ya the piece is gibberish only to a myopic slow thinker

kingstylo01:
"My father walked so that i could run, now am running so that my kids would fly!" interprete this statement

& if your children fly,what would become of your grandchildren¿

I totally agree with this informative piece of writing. But then, some questions pop up in my mind. Which industry or parastatal in our present Nigeria would employ a university undergraduate, let alone an SSCE graduate? I know some people work while in the university, but most of them are those who already have either a diploma or an OND and are only furthering their education to get their B.SC or BA. Industralization and socio economic infrastructures need to be put in place for these kind of situations to start taking place in Nigeria. So many graduates are roaming about the streets every day in search of jobs, and an undergraduate or O' level holder will get a job? Let's not deceive ourselves. Let's call a spade a spade... these countries that have such platforms for people to work during vacation have put what's meant to drive such ideas in place. Is it the UK(which you have mentioned) or America, where I have friends who travel there WITHOUT any credential, yet they find jobs. Not in Nigeria, unless the SSCE holder doesn't mind working as a "loader" at block industries, Dangote Cement, paint factories etc. The only reliable place I know someone can work "somehow comfortably" during vacation as an SSCE graduate or university undergraduate are shopping malls which have just started growing in Nigeria, and some few pharmacies - though they won't be employed to dispense drugs as this is solely for pharmacy undergraduates or graduates, they will be employed in their variety stores to sell provisions and the likes. But you're spot on as regards other issues like the difference in the cars wealthy people overseas drive and the ones we drive here in Nigeria - as most of their wealth here were gotten from dubious means. Also, that of a wealthy man's child looking for a job and already hoping to be well paid. You're right about these points. Thanks for sharing, I've learnt a whole deal already.
Bless.

Biliamin:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS written by Adeyinka Temitope

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now.

The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00.

I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.

Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.

Castroii:
@ ur moniker, seems u are a product of PS mbk

Exactly

sonnie10:
bla bla bla! hard work this, hard work that, where is the work self in Nigeria to start with? In all honesty, I won't send my child to go do petrol attendant all in the name of working, if I am rich. Modesty should be the key word. For example, Obasonjo's daughter is a PhD holder working in US, Atiku's daughter is a medical doctor working in a hospital in Abuja, Achebe's son is the MD of a clinic in the US.

Tell dem jor

sauceny:


& if your children fly,what would become of your grandchildren¿

SOAR

A good write up but as someone said above how many Nigerians does this relate to.
As regards youths getting a part time job. I would have loved to do that as a student but where and how in Nigeria.
In England or America according to the OP youths work but he forgot to mention that there are structures in place for this to happen.
Laws that regulate jobs taken by minors, age, hour and nature of job.
Also there are jobs available for minors and students in the holidays and there are opportunities to get at those jobs.
The also the pay is worth the job.
MY son at 19 has a part time job in the holidays and he is going to have about 2000 Euro at the end of the holidays. As a student it wouldn't be taxed so he gets to keep the whole amount.
I also have to add that the cost of cloths and feeding in Euro is much cheaper than in Nigeria - if you compare this with the amount of money they have access too.
Also the standard of living for the youths is much higher because the infra structures are simply in place.
If the Nigerian Government would put all the facilities in place parent`s wouldn`t be in this dilemma.