Ishilove:

From where I stand, 30 is quite young, although old enough to father kids, but that is besides the point.

hmmm, i think we see 30 as young here in africa but in abroad, 18 yr olds move out of the haus and start their life..... I think the o.p should man up and accept responsibility.

You talk as if getting pregnant is a unilateral thing. Why blaming her for getting pregnant this "time" as if she impregnated herself.

My friend you better man up and take responsibility.

Wey the OP?

You have no right to ask her to terminate the pregnancy.
You cannot demand of anyone to take a life.
Respect her decision and live up to your responsibility.

If you put a shovel into the earth to dig a hole. You should be able to lift up the shovel.

You have planted a seed, seeds sometimes grow into trees.

Congratulations!.

Kimoni:





You are not a serious human being. Na she give herself belle baa?? Ntorrr

I think we're refusing to look at the big picture here. Not everyone can be a parent, or is ready to be a parent. It takes a lot of mental readiness and mental strength to be a parent. So what if he's 30? Must a 30 year have a baby?

I know it's fair to laugh at the OP, but at the end of the day who suffers for it? The incoming baby.

I don't know why females bother keeping babies that both parents aren't ready for. In most cases, this builds resentment. Resentment towards her or the baby or both of them... or the worst of all, she becomes a single mum.

BABE3:


I think we're refusing to look at the big picture here. Not everyone can be a parent, or is ready to be a parent. It takes a lot of mental readiness and mental strength to be a parent. So what if he's 30? Must a 30 year have a baby?

I know it's fair to laugh at the OP, but at the end of the day who suffers for it? The incoming baby.

I don't know why females bother keeping babies that both parents aren't ready for. In most cases, this builds resentment. Resentment towards her or the baby or both of them... or the worst of all, she becomes a single mum.

Just like when a 30 years old woman is still single,we should tell her that she is old enough to marry and have not one but two kids.That her biological clock is ticking and menopause awaits.

Just like he has no right to ask her to terminate the pregnancy,she also has no right to force him to accept it,because the sex was consensual,she is a student,she knows her body(ovulation period),even if he doesn't use condom what happened to contraception?she has no job or any means to care for that baby,the man alone should not be responsible.

Yes he knew what he was getting into without using protection but the answer is not to bully him but to make him understand or counsel him that he can still survive and care for the baby.

We can curse,mock and shout at him if the guy is not ready to be a father -he is not;the child will be fatherless and the mother a single mum.

Who will suffer it most? Personally i will not keep any child for a man who doesn't want it.God forbid!

BABE3:


I think we're refusing to look at the big picture here. Not everyone can be a parent, or is ready to be a parent. It takes a lot of mental readiness and mental strength to be a parent. So what if he's 30? Must a 30 year have a baby?

I know it's fair to laugh at the OP, but at the end of the day who suffers for it? The incoming baby.

I don't know why females bother keeping babies that both parents aren't ready for. In most cases, this builds resentment. Resentment towards her or the baby or both of them... or the worst of all, she becomes a single mum.

My biggest issue with the OP is that he still hasn't learnt his lesson and he is yet to accept responsibility for what has happened. I take exception to this statement "I don't understand why it is at this point of my current desire to go for a degree that she should get pregnant". This statement speaks volume of his state of mind and unfortunately, if he doesn't learn his lesson the hard way now, he will do it again and again. I have seen several cases of young people going for abortion every month. Until the unexpected happens...

So asides my religious beliefs on abortion, this is also a strong a strong reason why I don't believe that abortion is the answer. Fortunately for us, our system of parenting in Nigeria does not leave the parents alone with the burden of parenting. Every potential adult in the family is a parent. If he is not ready, I am sure there must be some family somewhere, from his side or the lady's who will be willing to assist him till he is ready to assume full responsibility.

And assuming a worst case scenario where he doesn't have any, he will have to brace up and face his problem headlong. Thankfully, he is already working howbeit with a small salary. He might need to put his academic aspirations on hold for now until he stabilizes. And the woman, if she is not already working might need to start some small business to support him.

Having sex comes with some potential risk/responsibilities and if the risk crystallizes, they both have to face it. It's a phase in their lives and luckily, they don't have to stay in this phase forever. My people say cutting off the head is never a solution when one has a headache, there are always solutions.

Pls don't kill that precious baby! My dad once frustrated my mum to abort me, but she insisted on keeping thepregnancy.She gave me the chance of coming to d world, and I believe I will bring glory to my family soonest. Give the world that baby as a gift, he/ she may represent the hope of our dear nation. I detest abortion with passion!

You guys just rushed to comment without taking time out to read his story,he clearly said that she advised him to sleep with her raw,that it safe...

The blame is on both of you,both more on your babe,either she is ignorant that unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy or she wants to use the pregnancy to tie you down,and you for rushing to sex her raw simply because she told you to do so....

She can't force you to take responsibility for the baby,you were clearly not ready,so the two of you should sit down and discuss about it......

This should also serve as a lesson to you too,don't jump up @the sound of the world raw sex,she can't force you to accept the baby,you can't force her to abort it,but I know you will be so blinded by love she will take you for a ride thereby affecting your education and life...

Ishilove:

We were not there when they were doing mummy and daddy o, but he is now asking us for advice. Smh

Hmm i tire

Captainswag225:
hmmm, i think we see 30 as young here in africa but in abroad, 18 yr olds move out of the haus and start their life..... I think the o.p should man up and accept responsibility.

Im telling u what u mean 18
By 16 i was out of the house .. If at 30 d guy never get sense then theres a problem ... Thats what im saying nicca should berra get a job .. N start thinking of family .. Whether or not the girl agreed to do it raw ... He himself dat knows his gt sh!t paying job n all dat would b careful .. ..
U wanna do dbig man tings now result don happen u wanna curl up like pikin ... Do u know how many women have died through abortion or have become barren ? They should think it well

You want her to abort it but tomorrow when you're ready to settle down you'll start looking for a lady that had never had any abortions before
And you'll even have the guts to insult those who have because in your mind you're not equally guilty.

May god have mercy on you two faced individuals.

Better ready yourself to be a dad. Next time use protection or abstain.

LadyBoss1:

Im telling u what u mean 18
By 16 i was out of the house .. If at 30 d guy never get sense then theres a problem ... Thats what im saying nicca should berra get a job .. N start thinking of family .. Whether or not the girl agreed to do it raw ... He himself dat knows his gt sh!t paying job n all dat would b careful .. ..
U wanna do dbig man tings now result don happen u wanna curl up like pikin ... Do u know how many women have died through abortion or have become barren ? They should think it well

hahahaha yeah, people should always be ready to accept responsibilities for their actions. He should marry the lady.

Captainswag225:
hahahaha yeah, people should always be ready to accept responsibilities for their actions. He should marry the lady.

Exactly hw r u

Kimoni:


My biggest issue with the OP is that he still hasn't learnt his lesson and he is yet to accept responsibility for what has happened. I take exception to this statement "I don't understand why it is at this point of my current desire to go for a degree that she should get pregnant". This statement speaks volume of his state of mind and unfortunately, if he doesn't learn his lesson the hard way now, he will do it again and again. I have seen several cases of young people going for abortion every month. Until the unexpected happens...

So asides my religious beliefs on abortion, this is also a strong a strong reason why I don't believe that abortion is the answer. Fortunately for us, our system of parenting in Nigeria does not leave the parents alone with the burden of parenting. Every potential adult in the family is a parent. If he is not ready, I am sure there must be some family somewhere, from his side or the lady's who will be willing to assist him till he is ready to assume full responsibility.

And assuming a worst case scenario where he doesn't have any, he will have to brace up and face his problem headlong. Thankfully, he is already working howbeit with a small salary. He might need to put his academic aspirations on hold for now until he stabilizes. And the woman, if she is not already working might need to start some small business to support him.

Having sex comes with some potential risk/responsibilities and if the risk crystallizes, they both have to face it. It's a phase in their lives and luckily, they don't have to stay in this phase forever. My people say cutting off the head is never a solution when one has a headache, there are always solutions.

What problem would he face headlong?

Lets be honest in this equation where the father isnt ready for a child its the child that suffers most followed by the mother. In most cases the father doesnt even get affected one bit

What stops the guy from dusting his shoe and fleeing or even staying and blatantly denying responsibility? This is Nigeria. No enforced child support to help the woman or the child. Best case the girl would go to the guys house and shout but can anyone force him to take responsibility?

The guy might even get money and even abandon the girl and the child

As bad as abortion is, Its still better than many options we see people resort to in Nigeria like selling the new born, dumping in gutter and refuse dump, Using the infant for rituals or plainly neglecting the child and tossing from one househelp job to another where they would be serially abused

In all of these I would say the girl should get rid of the pregnancy and either break up the relationship or define it as always use protection

LadyBoss1:
Exactly hw r u

am great lala and u? How did ur day go?

Lasgidy1:
I am 30 years, a contract staff in a commercial bank with a low income of abt 60k, Although I have my HND, but as a result of the trending dichotomy between HND and Bsc holders, I have recently opted for a direct entry programme to enable me brace up with current workforce demands.
My girlfriend, on the other hand is a final year student in a reputable Nigerian university. I don't understand why it is at this point of my current desire to go for a degree that she would get pregnant . For the record, I love my girlfriend so much that I don't want to loose her. Dear nairalanders, I need your candid advise on whether to keep the baby or not. Matured advise pls
Cc: lalasticlala, seun, ishilove...

uhmmmm,
well, na so women be. If she wan carry belle, there is nothing you can do about it no matter the contraceptives you use except you called it quits with her

but now that you're going to be a daddy, my advice to you is that you go on your knees to her parents and yours with a well laid out plan that they should help support the baby while you quickly do your university degree. Tell them that you will pay them back later.

Congrats again

Captainswag225:
am great lala and u? How did ur day go?

Went well thanks .. Just chilling browsing topic at the mo
U

LadyBoss1:

Went well thanks .. Just chilling browsing topic at the mo
U

am starving, i want eat some indomie, am trying my cooking skillz ryt now. Have u eaten already?

Evening

LadyBoss1:
Went well thanks .. Just chilling browsing topic at the mo U

piicity:
Evening

Hi

AM GOOD.HOW WAS UR Day?

LadyBoss1:
Hi

piicity:
AM GOOD.HOW WAS UR Day?

Okay same stuff different day
Urs

Lols, Mine was completely boring!!

LadyBoss1:
Okay same stuff different day Urs

piicity:
Lols, Mine was completely boring!!

Y nau .. What happened

I spent most at home.€i didn't check ur pics all this while but i decided to check it some secs ago,it was lovely :shocked:,where did you snapped it?

LadyBoss1:

Y nau .. What happened

piicity:
I spent most at home.€i didn't check ur pics all this while but i decided to check it some secs ago,it was lovely :shocked:,where did you snapped it?

My house lol getting ready for work
No mind me

Good!oya shift come make i *hug* you

LadyBoss1:
My house lol getting ready for work No mind me

piicity:
Good!oya shift come make i *hug* you

*hugs*

Kiss nko

LadyBoss1:
*hugs*

Lasgidy1:
I am 30 years, a contract staff in a commercial bank with a low income of abt 60k, Although I have my HND, but as a result of the trending dichotomy between HND and Bsc holders, I have recently opted for a direct entry programme to enable me brace up with current workforce demands.
My girlfriend, on the other hand is a final year student in a reputable Nigerian university. I don't understand why it is at this point of my current desire to go for a degree that she would get pregnant . For the record, I love my girlfriend so much that I don't want to loose her. Dear nairalanders, I need your candid advise on whether to keep the baby or not. Matured advise pls
Cc: lalasticlala, seun, ishilove...

When u were having sex Without protection u didnt knw u were broke abi or What were you expecting . Pls accept ur responsibility, God ll provide.

raumdeuter:


What problem would he face headlong?

Lets be honest in this equation where the father isnt ready for a child its the child that suffers most followed by the mother. In most cases the father doesnt even get affected one bit

What stops the guy from dusting his shoe and fleeing or even staying and blatantly denying responsibility? This is Nigeria. No enforced child support to help the woman or the child. Best case the girl would go to the guys house and shout but can anyone force him to take responsibility?

The guy might even get money and even abandon the girl and the child

As bad as abortion is, Its still better than many options we see people resort to in Nigeria like selling the new born, dumping in gutter and refuse dump, Using the infant for rituals or plainly neglecting the child and tossing from one househelp job to another where they would be serially abused

In all of these I would say the girl should get rid of the pregnancy and either break up the relationship or define it as always use protection

Pls you do not hv a Point in relation to this issue on ground. He should take responsibility for his actions instead of putting the girl at risk nd commiting murder