and he was no where to be found.  Rumors spread like hot bread and snail around Nigeria that Eistein had faked his own death.  That same week he told his mom that. . .

he had to make a quick trip to pluto. On the way to pluto his space ship developed a fault and he had to 'branch' to earth which was the beginning of all his problems.

He had heard  about earth people and their devious ways.  However, it was his quest to save them before it was too late.  First, he pulled out his political plan, followed by his religion plan.

"hmm, where do i start" he thought to himself

'hmmm, world trade centre? bali?, boko haram?, ' confused, he was until ,

decided to go around and find all his family members.
He took to the streets looking for everyone who looked confused. Einstein was at oshodi and started tapping all the confused looking people on the shoulder "You look confused you must be my brother" ,"You look confused you must be my sister". As soon as he tapped them, they became in a trancelike state and joined the queue quickly growing behind him. By dusk he had a queue of over 100 people.

Even Einstein knew he had hit the jackpot. . . . .
Quick mental calculations puts him with the likes of the Richest men in the world. . . .
Thinks to himself, all I need now is AIT international to broadcast this across the world . . .
Imagine, all he had to do was touch someone, and they will all become mumu . . . .
He suddenly had an idea. . . .

he sent a text to the owner of ait low chief daymond rokpesi telling him about this latest development. Chief Rokpesi screamed "how did you get this number!"
einstein replied that i got it from a housewife who sent you a text asking you to pay her husband. i met her at oshodi

Raymond Dokepsi was furious. A random woman gave you my number? Who are you by the way? what do you want?

I am Einstein and I'm from Pluto. I have over one hundred Nigerians 'hostage'. I have demands of the Govt of this country before i can release them.

Raymond Dokpesi burst into laughter wiping off tears of mirth from his eyes. How does that concern me Mr. Man? Einstein replied "This is not a joke. I am not Mr man. My name is the great Einstein. We need you to broadcast live. I hear you have the biggest and best TV station in Africa.

Yes, thats true but why will you want to take nigerians hostage. i can assure you that the president will not yeild to your demands. Nigerians are not worth anything.

Well, Einstien replied. I think you are right. I am going to change my plans. You will hear from me again soon.

The next day, Einstein thought hard on what he could do. he needed to get rich quickly. Then, an idea hit him,

He was going to kidnap the presidents pretty daughter schooling at UNILAG,

Everyday, he monitored her movements. then on the day of their final exam,

he waited for her outside moremi hall.
he had vaporised her security detail with his laser gun
she out looking left and right for the two guys this was einstein's chance
he stepped up to her

and at that very moment her eyes locked on his. Her gaze burned into his very soul. he felt as though hot rays of light proceeded from those eyeballs. He went weak at his knees.
OH MY GOD, he thought. I have been hypnotized. he tried lifting his hands but he just couldnt. He felt faint and was collapsing to the ground,

Einstein woke up from his Nightmare . . . . patting himself from head to toe, pinching himself to make sure he is well and truly ALIVE . . . . .

Now that he knows what to expect when he gets to Moremi hall, he is not taking any chances, he went to take his bath, and kitted himself up in his MIB outfit, completing it with the sunglasses to derail any gaze from the moremi damsel. As he got out of his high tech volkswagen 101 in front of Moremi hall . . . .

He looked intently at the various categories of ladies coming out of the hall but he couldnt see Annabel, for that was the name of the presidents daughter. Not possible, in his dream the other day, he pictured her coming out at this very hour. HE COULDNT ALLOW HIS PLAN TO FAIL.

He went to the lecture theaters and searched but he still did not find her. As he was going towards the administration block, he heard the the sound of a scream inside. Students around began to run away in confusion. He thoght of running away but someone was crying for help inside the building.

He ventured in and lo and behold he saw Annabel with a sharp knife directed at the neck of the Vice Chancellor.

She shouted, Dont come any closer or i will kill him. This stupid man has been making passes at me and has threatened i wont graduate unless i give in.

Einstein said, take it easy young lady. Lets talk things out,

walking slowly, he approached her. he spoke slowly to soothe her nerves
now young lady, put the knife down
NO! she screamed. THIS GUY HAS MESSED WITH ME FOR THE LAST TIME. BY THE TIME I AM THROUGH WITH HIM
NEXT TIME HE SEES A YOUNG GIRL HE WILL TAKE OFF IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
as einstein got closer to the scene, it was all he could do to hold in his laughter
he saw that the VC poo pooed on him self and the smell was making it's way in his direction
sir he addressed the VC what happened?
the VC was about to start explaining when

he noticed the line of pee making its way down his trousers too,

Einstein jump! and walked closer to the VC
"I am a government official sent to investigate the way you govern this school." Einstein stopped for some seconds and coughed out loud. he continued " As from today, you are no more the VC of this university and I am now officially your temporary new VC, till further notice."

Everyone there clapped and praised Einstein.
"Our new VC, you are welcome!" the crowd cheered him.

The V.C was a suicide bomber. He pressed a button and
. . . KABOOOM.

everybody died.

A spectator at the event tried to explain to Einstein that the VC was a suicide bomber. That he pressed a button and everyone at the bustop died. But Einstein was assured that everyone that died were the agberos terrorizing the market.

Then Einstein,

Then Einstein wanted to cross the road and this huge MACK truck crushed him to irreparable pieces. And that my friends, was the Final End of Einstein, the genius with, 9 lives

"Einstein! Einstein!! Einstein!!!" A voice from behind called his name.
"I am here" He replied.
"Then what was crushed by the truck?" The voice asked.
"It wasn't me, but the man that dived to save my life" Einstein replied.
"Oh no Einstein, someone died. The truck driver has to be arrested"
"Yes, call someone please call 911" Einstein said.
Einstein quietly walked away, sad that because of him someone died.







_{@mykali, There is no way you can kill Einstein}

y y he askedn himself. y can that man died 'cos of me said einstein

Einstein was on the verge of tears as he walked slowly down the road. H ecould not beleive that he was still alive despite all attempts to kill him. There should be a purpose why he was created and born to this world. He continued with his brooding until the sunset.

He noticed that he was very hungry . He had not eaten allday. He looked and saw one Food Joint with people milling around. Hmmmm, The aroma of food swifted to his nostrils. He checked his pocket. O! my God, there was only 50 naira in there. There was nothong he could do but look for a way to get some money et least to eat. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a young man carrying a Ghana must Go bag ahead of him. Hmmm, Im sure it contains lots pf money, He thought.

He steadily approached him from the back,

As he approached him from behind, he did not know that the Ghana Must Go was filled with dynamites and explosives instead of money, and the young man was actually a militant trying to commit suicide.

As he was about to grab the bag, a voice behind him shouted 'Einstein, its a bomb!!!'

But it was too late. . . Einstein grabbed the bag, opened it and guess what he saw?
It wasnt money, it wasnt a bomb, IT WAS A. . .

A continuum Transfunctioner, the most sort after device in our galaxy. He knew about it cos Nostradamus whose work he read a lot had fore told It's coming. He looked up but the boy carrying the bag had disappeared but just behind him was the man who initially screamed at him not to touch the bag. The man was a HIV Positive south African carrying a six month old girl he intended to rape. Einstein knew all these things cos. . . . .

But this time he was right and with the power of the continuum transfunctioner he pulverised the depraved South African and after realising the power of C T decided to make some money with the device.
On hearing of the power of the C T Cecilia Ibru and Erastus put a call through to him , "hello is that Einstein ? We wonder . . . .

, if you could sell this C. t to us. Our enemies have plotted to destroy the banks we laboured to build. We are scheduled to be in court soon and we want to teach that strong headed man a leson he will never forget.

Einstein smiled, How much are you willing to pay??/

We will give you 10million naira for it.

All right , its a deal. Just let me know who the person is and i will help you disintegrate him.

Ok. His name is Sanusi and he lives at @3 asoro street Garki.

The next day, Einstein monitoered his movements to and fro and planned to execute him on a weekend.

On the fateful day, Sanusi prepared to go for his weekend jogging but he did not feel alright. he felt as though something terrible was about to happen, then,

Out jumps Einstein from the bushes and starts to say some incantations "ala jube koi jut na. . . .". He takes out the continuum transfunctioner and is about to cast a spell on Sanusi when he hears "joka oule li mala stish ", Coming out of Sanusi's mouth.
"you understand the language ?" Einstein asks Sanusi. "yes! My first degree was in Arabic which sounds similar to what you spoke." he replied trembling with fear.
"i dont know what i said my self the CT controls my utterances at such times" Einstein told him, "then let me have it since i understand It's alien language and can keep it under control." Sanusi says.
Einstein hands over the C T ,says goodbye to Sanusi and tells him to extend his regards to Cecilia and Akingbola to which Sanusi replies "will surely do" with a sardonic smile on his face. Einstein boards a taxi headed for the international airport and . . .

On his way, Cecilia Ibru called Einstein. "Have you Brualized Him"
"Yes, deal done! Einstein replied.
"Good. Go to Oshodi Underbridge, look left, then look right again. You will see 3 bags of money under an old beatles there. Thats your money"
Einstein quickly enter another taxi again and travelled to oshodi. He saw the three bags and quickly packed them into the taxi. He opened one of the bags so he can touch his millions of naira.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!" Einstein scream!
"What is that" the taxi man asked.
"Nothing" He replied sobering.
All Einstein could see was fufu. Fresh fufu that even made him hungry.
"Pay me my money, I want to close work" The taxi man said.
"The money I want to pay you has turned to fufu" Einstein replied.
Then,