Tashaamania:

The nonentity might turn out to be Mr. right. I'm just saying..
She shouldn't ignore any signs. Staying with someone for five years isn't a guarantee just as knowing someone couple of months back isn't. Anyone can pretend for any length of time.

OP weigh both options. if need be, take time off the wedding planning, postpone and figure out what you really want. Marriage no be beans especially when you're going into it with doubts, that's alot of pending trouble.

Noted and book marked.

U might be right anyways,


But let me not see u condemn any guy that dumps d girlfriend for whatever reason.

@ all, the new guy or my man are not rich, just average guys. I met the new guy when my man and I had an issue and we didn't talk for almost 3 months and I thought that was the end even though we've agreed to marry before then. the wedding issue has been dragging on for a long time and I got fed up. I believe he's scared of losing me that is why he demanded we get married now.

I'm not a bad person or cheat, my man was my first. I just feel this new guy really cares about me and he's optimistic about having me in his life.

PS. the new guy doesn't know we've worked out our differences and we are not dating officially, we just spend a lot of time together and he's talking about getting married.

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

This is the time to be working things with your man. Relationships will not always be rosy, you learn to bring back the happiness you once shared. Do not seek comfort in the arms of another man.

freecocoa:
I don't know why everyone is acting like there's no problem, OP there's a big problem and it's you, you are cheating while still planning to get married, you better just leave the young man you want to marry alone and sort yourself out, I wish he'd catch you, mschew.

The only truth and the most reasonable comment ever.

Other NLanders and ladies are just running to call a spade a spade here, they don't want to blame this very lady for cheating on the bf /fiance of 5yrs for reasons best known to them,




Kudos sis

Marry both of them

Squig:
@ all, the new guy or my man are not rich, just average guys. I met the new guy when my man and I had an issue and we didn't talk for almost 3 months and I thought that was the end even though we've agreed to marry before then. the wedding issue has been dragging on for a long time and I got fed up. I believe he's scared of losing me that is why he demanded we get married now.

I'm not a bad person or cheat, my man was my first. I just feel this new guy really cares about me and he's optimistic about having me in his life.

PS. the new guy doesn't know we've worked out our differences and we are not dating officially, we just spend a lot of time together and he's talking about getting married.

See? He truly loved you that's why he doesn't want to waste more time in courting.


The new guy is discussing marriage with you because he knows that's what ladies wana hear and the surest way to your pants.

Their's nothing spectacular about this your new guy, what he does is what an average Nigerian guys good at.

cococandy:


As for the new guy, pls don't make any decisions because of him. I have zero trust for anyone who would go out with someone that's already in a committed relationship. If you leave your man for him, he won't trust you not to leave him for someone else.

I won't blame the guy. She has attested to the fact in her opening words that he is oblivious of her relationship status.

Most ladies do that. Hiding their partners when asked. The guy would probably have given her the needed space if he knew she would be marrying next month. Any sensible man would .


Op. Simply tell your new guy you have set the date of the wedding and see his reaction. The obvious fact here is that you are cheating. May not be physically but emotionally.

Why would ladies always feel its alright to seek comfort in the hands of another man when they have issues instead of facing things and settling ?

I do not usually comment on this type of topic, however as i was reading through peoples' comments, something just pop up in my mind and that is,nomatter what people say, you have the final decision to make on this matter and should be ready to take full responsibility for any decision you would finally take.
Goodluck!

Maybe you should go watch Temptation by Tyler perry, the only difference is that you are yet to marry this guy, you never know what you have till you loose it.

Smh

gwas:


See? He truly loved you that's why he doesn't want to waste more time in courting.


The new guy is discussing marriage with you because he knows that's what ladies wana hear and the surest way to your pants.

Their's nothing spectacular about this your new guy, what he does is what an average Nigerian guys good at.

The highlighted is an insult to Nigerian guys.
Are the so-called Nigerian girls in anyway better and trustworthy?
We live in this same country ,so stop trying to paint Nigerian guys like they are some kind of demons and the ladies angels with no blemishes. Face the topic.

SeverusSnape:
Oh Lawd!... Girls of nowadays.

First of all, I'm not married, Nor am I a marriage counsellor. But I'll tell you something. If you know what's good for you, Go ahead with your wedding, for goodness sake, You've been with your man for five years, five solid years; So because one nonentity came around you want to change your mind.

I know, this new guy has more money??... Offers better sex

Oh please!

After spending 5 five good years kpanshing that guy . Omo! believe it or not the laws of dimishing return and over-familiarity has set in and the thrills of sex is no longer there but just routine and when she finally came to realize that she's about to be wifed,stuck with one diick for life she suddenly remembers that guy that has been trying to invade her Kumin Rukiki and in one last careless thought like the fish brained things they are, she is about to lose it all - All for a diick,just a diick.

Abeg make she talk another thing jare - All these ones na story for amadioha.

After all, five years is more than enough to figure out if you can live with someone for life.

Op wants a different action before being carried off to marital slavery.

Truckpusher:
After spending 5 five good years kpanshing that guy . Omo! believe it or not the laws of dimishing return and over-familiarity has set in and the thrills of sex is no longer there but just routine and when she finally came to realize that she's about to be wifed,stuck with one diick for life she suddenly remembers that guy that has been trying to invade her Kumin Rukiki and in one last careless thought like the fish brained things they are, she is about to lose it all - All for a diick,just a diick.

Abeg make she talk another thing jare - All these ones na story for amadioha.

After all, five years is more than enough to figure out if you can live with someone for life.

Op wants a different action before being carried off to marital slavery.

funny, but true. But she just have to endure it, What if she goes to the next guy and after a while, She gets tired of him. We humans love to experience new things, But in this case, I don't think it's justifiable.
Ladies of nowadays eh (guys are also guilty) ...They ain't loyal.

That "kurmin Rukuki" though ... Got me laughing, I remembered the book 'An African night entertainment'.

U really need to give your self s break and think well o. Why should your plans for the wedding keep getting on and off as if na N E P A things Una dey do, ??you people go off communication for like 3months hahaha!Una no well at all!!.you both need serious check up.you all must act mature and grow up.you are already doing 3months NO TALK Aaftrr wedding you progress into 6 months malice Abi??a relationship of 5yrs ain't a joke o,you all should be like family member now.But for the fact that the courtship stayed for 5yrs doesn't really mean it must lead to the Altar though,but you all must sit down and face the reality by telling your selves the truth.

Squig:
@ all, the new guy or my man are not rich, just average guys. I met the new guy when my man and I had an issue and we didn't talk for almost 3 months and I thought that was the end even though we've agreed to marry before then. the wedding issue has been dragging on for a long time and I got fed up. I believe he's scared of losing me that is why he demanded we get married now.

I'm not a bad person or cheat, my man was my first. I just feel this new guy really cares about me and he's optimistic about having me in his life.

PS. the new guy doesn't know we've worked out our differences and we are not dating officially, we just spend a lot of time together and he's talking about getting married.

This is what caught my eye
You didnt talk to each other for 3 months i.e the love scale went down to zero, and somehow you both managed to get back together and want to get married.
3 whole months!!!! not 3 hours or 3 days!! . . . . . That is a warning signal to me.

Anyway you are playing both men and it will only end in regret and tears.
I dont think that either of you love each other deep down, you are both just going with the flow becasue of time and age and family expectations
Somehow I dont see this working long term unless both of you are prepared to work at it very very hard and the question is are you?
Already you have another man crooning in your ear. How then will you cope with the stresses of marriage proper later on? any little thing and you turn to the nearest available man who has a sweet mouth.

if you were my sister, I will tell you to take a break. postphone the wedding and take a deep look at yourself and what you want and what you can give.

By the way bobo number 2 knows you are playing him too. He is just pretending that he doesnt know.
He doesnt mind though cos all he wants is part of the action. He will never trust you and even if you do get together, he will always sleep with one eye open.

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

It's like leaping off a skyscraper, if you didn't have doubts, you wouldn't be normal.
Projecting those doubts unto a new fellow is the common albeit Very Dangerous result of those doubts.

You need to keep reminding yourself of why he has been the one for these number of years, and remember, It MAY BE THE SAME GRASS, BUT IT ALWAYS APPEARS GREENER OVER THE FENCE.

More importantly, Sort out that lingering, persistent issue with your fiance.
Marriage is already enough hard work for you to allow little resentments that Will end up causing Big problems in your marital life.

Peace

Squig:


I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

So what else do you want?

Your fiancee has everything you want in a man but you feel you will be happier with the new guy. . . .Zehahahaha

No go connect your network you hear,when you are caught and you lose everything, we will be here to entertain you.

cococandy:
Cold feet before a wedding is normal as it is a big nay huge and permanent life decision. You wonder if this decision will be worth it.
So yes doubts are okay. But if you can't pinpoint any particular thing wrong with the guy, then you don't really have any problems. Nobody is ever 100percent sure until they start living day to day with the person.

As for the new guy, pls don't make any decisions because of him. I have zero trust for anyone who would go out with someone that's already in a committed relationship. If you leave your man for him, he won't trust you not to leave him for someone else.

Wow. Most reasonable comment I've read in a while. I think I fell in love with a chick that was/is in a serious relationship recently... She likes me no doubt but she kept hammering on the relationship aspect, and no matter how long I kept the pressure, she'd still be friendly and the gentleman in me just wanted to respect her choice.

Truckpusher:
The highlighted is an insult to Nigerian guys.
Are the so-called Nigerian girls in anyway better and trustworthy?
We live in this same country ,so stop trying to paint Nigerian guys like they are some kind of demons and the ladies angels with no blemishes. Face the topic.

May be you need to re-read that my post so as to comprehend.

I never insult my people, was basically saying nothing special about this new guy as the OP proclaimed. In other words, what I'm saying is an average Naija guy is good at making a woman go against her will, we good at cajoling, we can make you happy and so on.

So how is that an insult? That is a commendation!

freecocoa:
I don't know why everyone is acting like there's no problem, OP there's a big problem and it's you, you are cheating while still planning to get married, you better just leave the young man you want to marry alone and sort yourself out, I wish he'd catch you, mschew.

You spoke my mind

How can someone planning her wedding or in a relationship be talking of guy number two

Sweetie, you are in you mid twenties...

Give it about two more years for you to get matured mentally

I fear for your future husband if after 5 years with him and marriage in the pipeline, you are having options number two and how many more?

It shows you are NOT reliable and loyal...

Postpone the wedding till you are sure that bros no 1 is the deal.

cc: Squig

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

No !

Anything else?

TV

.

Poor, Mr. Squig. Who's going to tell him he's about to make a hoe a housewife now? Nobody, I guess.

The hard truth is that you are lying and cheating on both men.
Do you know what it means for a man to ask your hand in marriage? That is a very honourable thing to do. Do you know how much love, time and money he has invested?
Then the second man you are talking to. You are lying to him by not telling him you are planning a marriage. From the look of things you have already gotten intimate with him.
What goes around comes around.
Even when you get married as a man or woman there would always be wonderful people left in the. World but decent married people stay off.

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

May U remain CONFUSED, because it is a normal ANOMALY among u, ladies.

Bet me, even when MARRIED, u will still be CONFUSED

Every lady is "a MOST CONFUSED" , it just takes the right enzyme to catalyze the reaction.

EVILFOREST:

May U remain CONFUSED, because it is a normal ANOMALY among u, ladies.

Bet me, even when MARRIED, u will still be CONFUSED

Every lady is "a MOST CONFUSED" , it just takes the right enzyme to catalyze the reaction.

Truckpusher defender of the men folk won't see this one o

EVILFOREST:

May U remain CONFUSED, because it is a normal ANOMALY among u, ladies.

Bet me, even when MARRIED, u will still be CONFUSED

Every lady is "a MOST CONFUSED" , it just takes the right enzyme to catalyze the reaction.

why evulz....lmao

mutter:
The hard truth is that you are lying and cheating on both men.
Do you know what it means for a man to ask your hand in marriage? That is a very honourable thing to do. Do you know how much love, time and money he has invested?
Then the second man you are talking to. You are lying to him by not telling him you are planning a marriage. From the look of things you have already gotten intimate with him.
What goes around comes around.
Even when you get married as a man or woman there would always be wonderful people left in the. World but decent married people stay off.

The funny thing is that he might know about her wedding plans and be luring her with 'wedding' so that he can 'chop and clean mouth'.

soonest:

Truckpusher defender of the men folk won't see this one o

Not totally true. I defend both gender depending who is screwing up and kicking up unnecessary dusts.

bukatyne:


The funny thing is that he might know about her wedding plans and be luring her with 'wedding' so that he can 'chop and clean mouth'.

Na so na and it is unfortunate that most women still fall for it.

Truckpusher:
Na so na and it is unfortunate that most women still fall for it.

The way some ladies fall for 'I want to marry you', get as im be.

bukatyne:




The way some ladies fall for 'I want to marry you', get as im be.

What do you say to a desperate individual? You simply tell them what they want to hear.

These days they no longer pronounce the word 'marriage' because some girls can hold you to your words eh!

They slide it in during serious talks and allow her to choose the most positive probable outcome of such cunning talk.

Women are too smart but we are always one step ahead of them.