lovely thread

Still rocking after all these years.
My best accomplishment ever.
Loving and being loved in return.
As I get older, I appreciate the presence of my spouse in my life.
The best friend God could ever give a man or a woman.

How I met my wife: Was travelling to Delta State from Lagos sometime in 2000 and we boarded same bus @ Mile 2. I knew immediately I saw her that I have found a wife. However, due to the influx of toasters pestering her all the way to Ore in Ogun State, I was left with no choice than to claim a different tribe (Hausa) as everyone in the bus seem to be from Delta State and spoke my very own native language ( ). The driver left the normal route and entered Oleh, he excused the passengers to go and say hi to his girlfriend. Opportunity beckoned on me as almost every other passenger entered the evening market for fresh fish except me, my wife to be and my dad' friend wife (I recognized the woman but she didn't recognized me though!).  We talked in our language to the other woman' hearing who got provoked that I was deceiving them that I was Hausa,

Oh! Part coming soon, had to go back to work! See you,

Getting there insha Allah!

I met my husband at a Nigerian get-together in Maryland and it was love at first sight for me. He was scared to talk to me because my parents were around but seized the opportunity when my sisters and I walked outside to get some fresh air. We conversed briefly and my heart was beating so fast, I thought it was gonna jump out of my chest. . it still does whenever he gets close to me  . He says he knew I was gonna be his wife after our first date. What attracted me to him was his height (he’s 6'1", his big sexy eyes and the way he carried himself. He has presence . . . when he walks in the room, people take notice. He proposed after 3 years and I had put up with so much crap from him that I didn’t know if we were gonna make it to the altar. I won him over by being understanding, supportive and patient. When I met him, he was doing his residency and his schedule was so demanding and still is that we barely spent time together and when we did he was usually too tired but our love was strong enough to bare all. On my wedding day I was 2 hours late but the wedding was beautiful, a few disappointments but overall it was exactly how I had hope it would be. We did not make love on the wedding night  we were both so tired that I almost fell asleep with my wedding gown on. Our honeymoon was in Dubai.

I have to say though marriage is not what I expected. Things are different when you live under the same roof and have found that the key to a happy marriage is respect, trust, a lot of patience and communication. I have no doubt that he is the man that God created just for me. He’s a Capricorn and I’m a Taurus so we get each other. I am a very loyal and loving wife and have never been tempted to be unfaithful because my husband is all I need in a man and more. Whenever I look in his eyes, I see the love and tenderness that he feels only for me (the woman he chose out of a million) and I count my blessings.

harakiri:

I'll be back on or before 2018.Maybe i'll be married by then.

Have been watching u on nairaland and u behave like anyone is begging u to get married. Sweetie, u can stay single forever, no one really cares. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More! More!

bettymafy:

Have been watching u on nairaland and u behave like anyone is begging u to get married. Sweetie, u can stay single forever, no one really cares. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO

bettymafy:

Have been watching u on nairaland and u behave like anyone is begging u to get married. Sweetie, u can stay single forever, no one really cares. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buhhahaaaaaaa DITTO!

Gud post but complicated, i av been into institution for the pass 4years wit 2dauthter, marige is only sweet wen u are dating urself,bt onces u came 2geda and sign dat paper call certificate of mariage expecialy if u are passing throught difficultie u kill the love, to be sincere to u,since wen i was born i never experience wat dey called natural love,i use my money to get dat little one i av got, i dont beleive in love/mariage, i av decide nt to exceded d 2 dauthter so dat i can leave a longlife, and enjoye my money, seun thanks for d post, i av alot to say which i can't be mention here,

- How we met: Through a friend on facebook. He saw my profile through a common friend's page whom he has known since childhood and who happened to become a very close friend with whom I went to college. He inquired about me but i was never told abt out until after we started dating. He told me that as soon as he saw my picture he knew that I was the one he wanted - he said he could a calm and quiet maturity about me looking at the pics on my profile and my wall. He sent me a friend request which surprisingly enough i accepted - then we started chatting for a lil bit. Then he asked me for my number and started calling. I wasnt really interested and i was a point in my life where i had a lot of things on my mind. Other men were also pursuing me, but i ended up crossing them off of the list of potential partners when i realized that there was something very genuine abt him. He didnt push, didnt come up with cheesy sayings and lame poems. He was just himself. I didnt see him coming and by the time i realized what was going on he had swept me away after a few dates and an unexpected soft and smooth kiss 

- What attracted me: He is very simple guy, very mature without taking himself or life too seriously. He loves joking. He has tender heart that forgives easily, and gives freely whenever he can. He is very respectful which one of the reasons why my family fell in love with him. As a bonus from Baba God, he is very attractive with a killer body (until i started making him foufou every other day lol)

- Who proposed?: He did. Not explicitely but a couple months after we started dating, he brought up marriage and we knew that is exactly what we wanted. He then officially proposed in front of my family the day of our introduction.

- Who opposed: Initially, ippl where a bit skeptical and hesitant (but not exactly opposing) since we are from 2 different countries and cultures but being African some things are always the same esp where ppl decide to stay simple and respectful. Today his family absolutely loves me and my ppl are very happy too.

- The wedding: It was 3 weeks ago. We only did the traditional wedding but we did exchange vows (we wanted to combine that so that we dont have the pressure of doing the white wedding too soon --- we have other priorities  and it costs money oo)

- The honeymoon - We havent had any. But being together is kind of like a honeymoon in and of itself lol. Newlyweds that is lol!

- Made a mistake choosing my partner? - no, he is the one that I prayed for and I am the one that he prayed for. Both are families are lovely, simple, understanding and loving and caring. Our personalities complete one another and where im weak he is strong, where he is weak i am strong. So def no!

- Tempted to be unfaithful: Nope. Never cheated on anybody, never will. I wasnt raised like that. Nothing to do with my partner, has to do with my own values and self-respect and dignity.

- How long: Been together for a year but it feels we have known for 10 years!! Married for almost a month and praying for God's mercy and grace on our marriage. Would love to fast forward a few years from now lol.

woooooow!!!!

Nice thread.

Very educative, enlightening and encouraging.

My heart goes out to those that have lost their spouses, my prayer is that God will be with you and continue to be your strength.

For those that are tough situations at the moment:
@Kimibaby- Pray you find the strength to make good decision and remember it is better to be SAFE than SORRY.

@Rosita 112- Infectious diseases are my concern for you, pls address this issues and i pray for God's wisdom for you

@Wush- wow is all i can say but know that you are in my prayers.

@Lostout- my sister, i believe God can move in your situation cos there is no mountain greater than God. I look to God for you.

And for those that have it good and really going on, i thank God for you all and may the fire of love for you and spouses never stop burning.

Yes my turn to tell my story. I'll be back

Hmmm, how we met? My Boss sent a collegue to represent him at a program of one of our partner Agencies, on saturday Monday my collegue called me, he had a family emergency and asked me to pls help him out. I was divorced almost 2yrs den, my weekends consisted of just watching TV all day so I was glad to have something to do. I got dressed headed to the venue, parked and was walking down to the hall when a guy slowed down rolled hus window and asked me to please help him keep a seat, I said ok, d place was jampacked so I saw nothing to his request. Kept a seat next to where I was seated, later I saw him looking around, I waved and he came and sat down. He was polite asked questions, I was not used to talking to men outside work so my answers were short and unintresting. When I left my ex I somehow had it in my head that no man will ever be intrested in me any man who comes close will just want to sleep with me. Anyway during lunch he requested dat we go to have lunch together, he picked plates for both of us and asked me what I wanted, in my head I was like strange man, anyway nothing for you. Hmmm, I was uncomfortable so I collected my plate back, we went to sit, he pulled d chair out for me, na wa oh, I sat we ate, he kept asking questions. We ate went back program finished he collected my number, as we were leaving the hall he told me that I may think this is strange but he thinks we should get married. I was saying in my mind let me get away from this physco. He called and called didn't pick for a week, one day I was working I saw him with my collegue heading to my office I almost ran under my table, my collegue was like ha ah this my correct friend has been asking about you, why you bonne am? I agreed to a lunch date and somehow we started dating. He was determined from day 1 to marry me, I kept reminding him of my divorce status he didn't seem to care. That's the good and bad thing about my husband he has almost a one track mind, once he is determined nothing stops him. After a year together we got married, it was hard oh, my ex gave hell, my sisters gave hell, my mother in law had to fight tooth and nail to get us Church blessings, but it was all worth it. Married life is cool, up and downs I had to learn from scratch how marriage really was. My husband is kind and gentle but hard to get him change his mind on issues, don't let me get started on house cleaning lol. I love him, marriage can be heaven or hell, I ve seen both.

How did we meet?

Back in 2008, it was a new year, i was determined to enjoy my single status. I was out of my station working with my colleagues and some suppliers.

Long story short for a Car launch in the Capital City, after the whole Event, our boss took everyone to dinner to compensate us for a job well done.
We all were out till late into the night. one of the supplier walked up to me and we started talking abt what i cant remember now. we got back to the hotel and it continued. next day, we exchanged numbers and returned to base.

we started talking on the phone for hours and he wanted a date which i refused. Finally we had a date some weeks after and he asked if i wld marry him. I was in shock because that was the first time anyone wld ask me such.
I didnt want to commit myself because i felt it was way too early. He said he meant it and was here to stay forever. i liked that part ( me wey don read "Mills & Boon" tire) and he was a picture perfect of what i want in a man (Tall, handsome and more).

We gave it a shot and that was how it all started.

What attracted you to my husband

I really cant say what the attraction was, lolzzz

I loved his physique

He was a complete gentle man, tall with broad shoulders and he wanted to spend every sec with me.

Who proposed marriage, and how

He did

After work one evening and he told me he has some things for me. there was jewelries, wristwatch, mobile phone and there was also the ring. i didnt expect it. i was really happy. It was another first with him

.......

^^^^ Sorry about all this it is part of life and really wish happiness at the end

@ Bandie: Tnks for the kind word of encouragement.

How often you're tempted to be unfaithful and how often you fall .

I refuse to be tempted,

Despite all the challenges he's my number one man.

How long you think the marriage will last.

It's going to last for till we grew grey and till death do us part by God's Grace

harakiri:

I'll be back on or before 2018.Maybe i'll be married by then.

bettymafy:

Have been watching u on nairaland and u behave like anyone is begging u to get married. Sweetie, u can stay single forever, no one really cares. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROTFLMSGBO . Nice reply Betty.

serubawon:

I'd like to know more about Nairaland members who are married!  If you're married, we want to know things like:
- How you met your husband or wife.
- What attracted you to your husband or wife.
- Who proposed marriage, and how.
- Who opposed the marriage, and how you prevailed.
- The wedding, and the honeymoon Kiss
- DO you think you made a mistake choosing your partner?
- How often you're tempted to be unfaithful and how often you fall Grin.
- How long you think the marriage will last. 

First time seeing this thread.  Would have contributed earlier.

I met my wife at a singles fellowship I was attending in Nigeria.  My best friend (who was later my best man) told me that could we give someone a lift on our way home from the service.  Since she lived along my way home, I said ok.  When she got into the car, the 1st thing I noticed about her was that she was very dark skinned (which at the time was contrary to my preferences).  We dropped her off and that was that.  As time went on, she was a regular passenger and we quickly became friends.  The friendship grew over a period of a year and we were almost inseparable.  The funny thing was that throughout this time, I never saw her as more than my best pal.  There were a lot of guys who were 'toasting' all the time and it never bothered me.  I would tell her that I would be the judge of all the toasters sine I was a guy and I knew what they actually wanted.

About a year into our friendship, my mother called me and said she had been having a strange dream recently.  She said she saw me looking for something, but what I was looking for was right beside me, but I didn't know.  She asked if I was dating anybody to which I answered  'no'.  At that time, I wasn't dating at all and my mom was bothered because I'm the only son and the 1st born.  After really bothering me, I told my mom that there was no special person.  The only person I was seeing regularly was this lady, but there was absolutely nothing between us.  She insisted on knowing her name and where she came from.  I told her and soon after that she told me to pray about her, as she is more special than I think.  Anytime we went out, people would ask us if we were engaged and we would both say no without any reservations.  Soon after, I told my best friend what my mom said and he told that as far as he was concerned, i was the dumbest smart person he knew.  Couldn't I see that we were made for each other?  It was at that time that I started to look at her differently and the first time I realized she was beautiful.  Over the next 3 months, I started becoming awkward with her because instead of seeing a basic friend, I was now seeing someone that evoked a torrent of emotions and I was not comfortable with her anymore.  She noticed this and asked what was wrong and I had no reasonable answer.  After serious fasting and prayer, I decided to be brave and tell her how I felt.  My crazy experience can be seen in my post on another thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=720.msg574065#msg574065

We got married and for 6 years, it was the most beautiful experience (both the good and the bad).  There was no opposition from anyone.  Our wedding was a pretty big one and it looked like the whole of Nigeria was in attendance.  Temptation?  So many, but I never even thought of cheating once because I was married to the most beautiful and wonderful woman in existence.  Mistake? absolutely not.  She was my true soul mate.

How long it would last?  I'm sure it would have lasted forever, but sadly she passed away on xmas eve in 2004 and I haven't remarried.  I haven't met anyone that even measures up to her.  I have a thread 'Adjusting to life as a Widower' - https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=20511.msg562123#msg562123, where I put my various experiences since then.  The thread is about 5 years old now and still on.

When you meet 'The One', you'll know without a doubt.  Make it last and make it count, because you never know how much time you have.

Waoooh enjoying the sweet story until i read the very SAD line. Much strength is all i wish for you !!!

What a nice thread!! learnt a whole lot from every experience shared. Thanks for sharing wit us. Wud have shared mine wish i was married, but very very soon, will be back!!
Plz, keep it coming,

Nice thread tho.

I'd like to know more about Nairaland members who are married! If you're married, we want to know things like:
- How you met your husband or wife.
- What attracted you to your husband or wife.
- Who proposed marriage, and how.
- Who opposed the marriage, and how you prevailed.
- The wedding, and the honeymoon
- DO you think you made a mistake choosing your partner?
- How often you're tempted to be unfaithful and how often you fall .
- How long you think the marriage will last.

The most important thing, though, is that we'd like to identify those of us who are married so we can avoid 'toasting' them and getting embarrased!

I went on holiday to nigeria and met my husband in the hotel I stayed at as he worked there. When I met him I was so attracted to him instantly as he was the only guy that was not approaching me for any relationship and seemed quite shy.
I didnt want to be too forward but i made it a point that before I leave this country i must get talking with him so purposely tried getting his attention by checking my email very frequently as he worked in the networking department.
Finally he made the first move by giving me his email address and name and number and we talked a bit before I left.
We then maintained a long distance relationship where we got to know each other more and more and talked and planned our future. We also sent each other things like cards and gifts through family and friends that were travelling. Then I made another trip there and we came back with more than I bargained for, our first pregnancy!!
We then that year put our spoken about plans into action and got married in nigeria and then he came over to london a year later.
We then conceived our second child and been living together as a family since. Nobody really opposed the marriage that I know of except the fact that I fell pregnant before marriage. Everybody loved him immediately as he is a lovely man.
I have never been tempted to go outside my marriage but I have recently found out that my husband has been having affairs outside and I am now 8 months pregnant so very hard right now to answer the last question how long will our marriage last. Really thought i found a keeper but unknown to me I was being deceived.

any advice by the way please feel free to share!!!

SexyMamaJ:

I'd like to know more about Nairaland members who are married! If you're married, we want to know things like:
- How you met your husband or wife.
- What attracted you to your husband or wife.
- Who proposed marriage, and how.
- Who opposed the marriage, and how you prevailed.
- The wedding, and the honeymoon
- DO you think you made a mistake choosing your partner?
- How often you're tempted to be unfaithful and how often you fall .
- How long you think the marriage will last.

The most important thing, though, is that we'd like to identify those of us who are married so we can avoid 'toasting' them and getting embarrased!

I went on holiday to nigeria and met my husband in the hotel I stayed at as he worked there. When I met him I was so attracted to him instantly as he was the only guy that was not approaching me for any relationship and seemed quite shy.
I didnt want to be too forward but i made it a point that before I leave this country i must get talking with him so purposely tried getting his attention by checking my email very frequently as he worked in the networking department.
Finally he made the first move by giving me his email address and name and number and we talked a bit before I left.
We then maintained a long distance relationship where we got to know each other more and more and talked and planned our future. We also sent each other things like cards and gifts through family and friends that were travelling. Then I made another trip there and we came back with more than I bargained for, our first pregnancy!!
We then that year put our spoken about plans into action and got married in nigeria and then he came over to london a year later.
We then conceived our second child and been living together as a family since. Nobody really opposed the marriage that I know of except the fact that I fell pregnant before marriage. Everybody loved him immediately as he is a lovely man.
I have never been tempted to go outside my marriage but I have recently found out that my husband has been having affairs outside and I am now 8 months pregnant so very hard right now to answer the last question how long will our marriage last. Really thought i found a keeper but unknown to me I was being deceived.

any advice by the way please feel free to share!!!

It's a pity you had to go thru this ordeal and worst of all, during pregnancy.
You married a man you loved and he turned out to be a cheat.
Men just cheat and i sometimes don't understand why. A few minutes after you posted your comment, a guy(married) came to my business place and asked for condoms. He wanted the best quality and i sold it to him.
As he was about to go, i jokingly asked him why he needed the condoms, he laughed & said, "away match".
I was shocked.
The wife is the best any man can ever ask for.imo
Men cheat for no reason.
Take heart and do what you think is the best for you and your kids.

Sad

chaircover:

@cantell you are absolutely right. I'd love to be a man for a day just to see what exactly goes through their minds when they have wonderful wives at home but still feel the need to play "away matches" as you call them.

So many men have got themselves into so much trouble due to lust; some have even lost their lives but it doesn't stop others from doing the same thing. At least your customer has the mind to keep his wife safe from STD's. Sad and very disturbing and for what all for a few minutes of pleasure.

@chaircover. Trust me, you don't want to be a guy for a day, you might get scared of our thoughts alone.  I think the problem originates from the fact that people get married for the wrong reasons.  Men are wired in such a way that they respond and react to what they see.  Look at it this way; an unclad man walks into a room filled with women, they would generally look at him like he was crazy and move AWAY.  Now if we were to reverse that picture, where a scantily clad woman, walked into a room filled with men, the men won't think she's crazy and would generally move TOWARDS her. She doesn't even have to be Unclad.

Because we are wired that way is no excuse whatsoever for cheating.  It's all about discipline and love.  A woman that trusts her husband and knows that 'no matter what", he will stay faithful to her will do almost anything for him.  Sometimes, it's just about ethics and morals.  The ethical man knows that it is wrong to cheat, but might still do it.  The moral man knows it is wrong and won't do it.  It's sad and unfortunate that that there aren't that many moral men.

For some reason, the word 'unclad' keeps replacing a more suitable word.  Tried to modify it, but no luck.

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