hi everyone. i must say thanks for all your replies though i havent read a lot of them. and sorry that i have not been here for some days now. that is because of a terrible incidence that happened the same day i put up this topic. the guy in question actually told me he was travelling to ibadan on official assignment that day hence i wanted to get ur views on my predicament b4 he returns the next day. but unfortunately he had a fatal accident with his car and died hrs later in the hospital he was rushded to. i was shocked when i heard this news later that day ( tuesday 14th) i didnt know wat to think. someone who just asked me for marriage the week b4! though we were never close, but i feel pity for him. i dont even know wat i feel now. i guess im just dazed. wat if i had loved him and agreed, then i would have been really heart broken. well, i guess the rest is now history.


@seun, im really surprised to see this on the front page ! i actually clicked on it on login in to see wat it was about thinking someone else was going thru what i went thru only to see that it was my post! and u even changed the topic. i never said he was my fiancee i only said he proposed to me. anyway, pls you can do me a great deal by taking it down since he's even gone! i am unhappy. thank you

Wow, I don't know what to say but maybe someone else will have an advice for you.
What baffles me is how a man or woman can contemplate marriage in this day and age without dating or even having a friendship with one another. Marriage should not be taken lightly, don't settle if in your heart of heart you don't like this guy. Marriage is forever a convenant between you two (at least that is the way I see it).
Put this in prayer, u know what? I don't even know what to say. Sorry you are in this situation.

surgery is d answer.michael jackson needs a brother.

hotstuff06:

Wow, I don't know what to say but maybe someone else will have an advice for you.
What baffles me is how a man or woman can contemplate marriage in this day and age without dating or even having a friendship with one another. Marriage should not be taken lightly, don't settle if in your heart of heart you don't like this guy. Marriage is forever a convenant between you two (at least that is the way I see it).
Put this in prayer, u know what? I don't even know what to say. Sorry you are in this situation.

I dont see anything wrong with this, except you are afraid of yourself. Some will never give their true colour in the friendship stage, so what is the need to spend years learning someone who will pretend you are the best only to turn to tiger when you get into the house.

Friendship is not a guaranty that you have known anything about your man/woman.

.

...

This's very funny.how ugly?some people dey look 4 ugly men 2 manage oh.i'll advise u 2 let go since d first attraction is not there.end of story.

.

This better be a joke!

Bossman:

This better be a joke!

I hope so.

if you cannot look pass his ugliness, let him go  , if he got a good heart and his treating you nice  go for him , is better  to be happy with an ugly guy than spending the rest of ur life with handsome dude that will never makes you happy.  Choose wisely ,

desire2009:

Someone just proposed marriage to me and he would really want to settle down very soon.

I have not developed love for him but I am very positive I can grow to love him with time. I have not given him an answer cos i told him to allow some level of friendship develop between us, to which he agreed.

The problem is that he is not attractive. He is on the ugly side. But since I want to settle down after so many disappointments I am likely to accept this proposal with time.

But is there something I can do to make him look better? At least presentable? Please help me.

Forget the ugliness~~~What do U mean by he proposed marriage 2 U when U guys are not even friends.Your quote "I have not developed love for him but I am very positive I can grow to love him with time" is crazy.You can not marry someone when U dont love them.There is no "I might fall in love with him" kinda crap.Do not play with people emotions.Do not have the man thinking you are marrying him for love when it is the exact opposite and U do not even find him attractive.I see no future in this marriage.The future is bleak.Sit the men down and tell him that U do not find him presentable and there is no love for him in your heart.The truth hurt but IT IS THE TRUTH.U 2 can stick to being friends and who knows if U might fall for him despite his "uglinesss".

[s]About his ugliness How ugly is he oooo.I can not advice U on this without seeing a pic.[/s] If he has a good heart that is all that matters.Everyone is beautiful.You just have to learn to accept his beauty even if it is not pleasing in your sight.

tpia:

the weird thing is some women will snub a guy because of his ugly looks. But as soon as they see a wedding ring on his finger and know he's with someone, they'll suddenly get the hots for him and find the man so attractive. (not referring to the OP )

Yeah. There are lots of people who don't know what they want. They want only what other people want; if a thing's wanted by someone else it suddenly has value and they want it too.

@post
Man if you notice the guy is ugly you certainly don't love him. Groom him if you want. As your friendship grows, if he's a good person you'll like him very much and you'll be surprised how suddenly attractive you'll find him.

SeanT21:

Forget the ugliness~~~What do U mean by he proposed marriage 2 U when U guys are not even friends.Your quote "I have not developed love for him but I am very positive I can grow to love him with time" is crazy.You can not marry someone when U dont love them.There is no "I might fall in love with him" kinda crap.Do not play with people emotions.Do not have the man thinking you are marrying him for love when it is the exact opposite and U do not even find him attractive.I see no future in this marriage.The future is bleak.Sit the men down and tell him that U do not find him presentable and there is no love for him in your heart.The truth hurt but IT IS THE TRUTH.U 2 can stick to being friends and who knows if U might fall for him despite his "uglinesss".

[s]About his ugliness How ugly is he oooo.I can not advice U on this without seeing a pic.[/s] If he has a good heart that is all that matters.Everyone is beautiful.You just have to learn to accept his beauty even if it is not pleasing in your sight.

Who cares about the ugliness?

Why are you all looking pass the part where she mentioned [size=15pt]"I have not developed love for him but I am very positive I can grow to love him with time".[/size]


Is the poster for real? Which kinda engagement is this?

my dear friend dont be desperate. exercise patience.

Someone just proposed marriage to me and he would really want to settle down very soon.

I have not developed love for him but I am very positive I can grow to love him with time. I have not given him an answer cos i told him to allow some level of friendship develop between us, to which he agreed.

The problem is that he is not attractive. He is on the ugly side. But since I want to settle down after so many disappointments I am likely to accept this proposal with time.

But is there something I can do to make him look better? At least presentable? Please help me

You already have many wise inputs. Allow me to add two.

1. Look at the highlight in the quote, that's the keyword! By choice, he is not your type. However, ,

If he is not your type today, he is not your type tomorrow, he will not be your type day after, you will end up not wanting to go out with him and the marriage will begin to loose dynamics. , so you decide.

2. Based on my own experience with women. The ugly ones are unpleasant to look at but,, their unclothedness and sex is the best, everything is always right and tight and elastic. On the flip side, I don't know if thats true for a woman's experience of an ugly man. If that's a truth, then I urge you to explore him from a sexual angle, you might be surprised that you discover a new beauty and pride in him. Try it!

why are you in a hurry?

ooluyemi:

my dear friend dont be desperate. exercise patience.

I completely agree with this! Don't even go there regarding marriage! Yes it is possible you can love him in time, when getting to know him but not after u get married, what kind arrad nonsense be that? It is best to love him more for the way he treats you and his characteristics because with time also looks can and will fade, and 2 good looking people do not necessarily make fine babies etc!But a little attraction MUST b there, am sorry it's not by FORCE dat u must marry him, wait abeg! u may end up falling for him and just be imagining it's some fine dude u b looking at (although everyone else may see his ugliness, u will not and thats all that matters!). lol Wait O,  

as much as I don't believe your're not cooking up this story (interesting though). haba this is your first and only post. atleast give replies to the advices you've gotten so far then I maybe able to tell you something very vital and every-lady will learn from it. so?

Beauty really isn't all that. I'm sure there is more to him than his face. Anyway, if he shaves often, let him try growing his beard out a little. Also if he can try cutting his hair. Applying lotion can do some wonders too. Lastly, he should find a(n) look/outfit that complements his face and body.

Seek the face of 'GOD;

Man, this topic is weird. Poster sounds desperate. You must really find him UNATTRACTIVE to even make this topic.

I would forget it if I were you. what you mean you might love him later? that might be possible though I prefer attraction at first sight. then the love you're talking about here. Don't settle for something you feel is less.

such a stupid nigerian like posting,i guess you must be ugly too

na wa woo!! things dey happen 4 Nija

u can post a pic lets see how ugly he looks.

Marriage is sometime not about what we want,but It's about the will of God for us.So my advice for you is to ask for the will of God to be done in this sitaution.I tell you this truth,If this man happen to be the rightman for you,God will turn everything around to suit you,his looks woun't matter to you anymore.

Again don't be in a rush,that you've been disappointed several time  in the past does not mean you should rush things,be patience,watch and pray more.God will make everything perfect at it's appointed time.

www.josephsonpeter.com

marriage out of desperation i bet it with u it wont last but u can give it a trial

Someone just proposed marriage to me and he would really want to settle down very soon.

I have not developed love for him but I am very positive I can grow to love him with time. I have not given him an answer cos i told him to allow some level of friendship develop between us, to which he agreed.

The problem is that he is not attractive. He is on the ugly side. But since I want to settle down after so many disappointments I am likely to accept this proposal with time.

But is there something I can do to make him look better? At least presentable? Please help me.

Abeg if you no wan the guy, send him over to tpia. She can manage him fairly.

if u cant stand him now, no need to convict urself

@ ooluyemi

Secretz:

I completely agree with this! Don't even go there regarding marriage! Yes it is possible you can love him in time, when getting to know him but not after u get married, what kind arrad nonsense be that? It is best to love him more for the way he treats you and his characteristics because with time also looks can and will fade, and 2 good looking people do not necessarily make fine babies etc!But a little attraction MUST b there, am sorry it's not by FORCE dat u must marry him, wait abeg! u may end up falling for him and just be imagining it's some fine dude u b looking at (although everyone else may see his ugliness, u will not and thats all that matters!). lol Wait O,

DEFINED PATIENCE