[b]yesterday being 13th october 2015,I got a phone for my girlfriend who has been with me for over a year now....
My name is hart and I'm 21yrs old and I have a girlfriend by name fatima who's 20yrs old..
We've had ups and downs in the relationship bt we have been together and that's what makes it unique...but something about her, she always refuse to collect gifts from me,she does the calling and d text most times and ever since we started dating,every morning I always get a swt good morning msg from her... It has always bn fun having her around,even if am at sch she sends money for me..God knws hw she got my acc no cus I never told her,she always use my name as d depositor,so, I won't be able to suspect her bt I later found out.
For her to accept gift frm me is always world war 2. I really don't knw why she always refuse things from me she always say"ps don't bother yourself" "I won't be happy if you do it next time blah blah blah....bt I have conscience na I cnt jst be accepting all d time without giving back. April dis year her phone got spoilt and I was in sch then,so she got a nokia touch light bt last wk d phone became faulty,mouth piece ish...we couldn't talk for 4days and that shit was killing...so I decided to get her a phone"bold 5". Last night she refused to collect the phone,making me feel so sad I had to force it into her hands and I left her place...she refused picking my calls. I got a text from her by 22:30...
I love this girl so much nd I'm sure she also loves me bt d gifts ish is killing me slowly [/b]

Note: we cnt get married due to religion am an igbo boy from a Christian home while she's a fulani from a muslim home

even though we have every reason to stay apart.I'm sure we'll risk it all to be together

I just need an advice on how I can make her to accept gifts from me

Help a brother out

If i get your super story right you are saying you are dating a girl whose ideas on gift does not conflate with yours for a confidential yet mysterious reason to your hyper-ventilated brain.And in that, this eccentric ideas of hers makes you appear egocentric to your little discomfitured self.And in other to avoid any further exacerbation you have decided to seek advice out of your chemically inert brain. Is that it?

Lol, are you sure she's really a female?

Anyway, maybe she's afraid of her parents. I mean, if she suddenly has something they know they didn't buy, they might get suspicious & give her the 3rd degree. Muslim parents, from observation, tend to be very strict & overprotective.

PunkyVeer:
Lol, are you sure she's really a female?

Anyway, maybe she's afraid of her parents. I mean, if she suddenly has something they know they didn't buy, they might get suspicious & give her the 3rd degree. Muslim parents, from observation, tend to be very strict & overprotective.

Hahaha
Yes she's a Female bt why do you ask?

Yeah! They're overprotective.
Bt she works,she's a teacher

OP. You're 21 and She's 20. I would really like to know what you do for a living, and have you finished school or still in school?

I'll tell you for a fact that you're young, I'm not trying to disrespect you but at your age clearly you still have a lot ahead of you.

joseph1832:
OP. You're 21 and She's 20. I would really like to know what you do for a living, and have you finished school or still in school?

I'll tell you for a fact that you're young, I'm not trying to disrespect you but at your age clearly you still have a lot ahead of you.

Am a student. 300l

I want to correct a statement you made. The fact that you and your girlfriend have had issues and despite all that, you both are still both together, isn't what makes your relationship unique but it's what makes it a relationship. Every relationship is bound to have ups and downs.

I think the best thing to do is to talk to her and ask her why she isn't accepting gifts from you and hear what she has to say.

younghartz:


Hahaha
Yes she's a Female bt why do you ask?

Yeah! They're overprotective.
Bt she works,she's a teacher

I ask because most women like little "tokens" of appreciation like that. A trinket here & there makes us swoon. I truly do not get her. It's so strange. I hope she's not feeling sorry for you. You're doing ok financially, right? I don't get her behaviour at all.

See correct babe. Be like say na fulani/muslim bae I go find now.

PunkyVeer:


I ask because most women like little "tokens" of appreciation like that. A trinket here & there makes us swoon. I truly do not get her. It's so strange. I hope she's not feeling sorry for you. You're doing ok financially, right? I don't get her behaviour at all.

Financially I think am okay..
She's so different frm my ex's
I knw hw they all feel when I give them something bt with her it always looks like I'm bothering myself jst to please her..

After I told my bestie she said "It takes time to understand a girl. But if she’s really worth it, you’d take time to try to figure her out."

younghartz:


Financially I think am okay..
She's so different frm my ex's
I knw hw they all feel when I give them something bt with her it always looks like I'm bothering myself jst to please her..

After I told my bestie she said "It takes time to understand a girl. But if she’s really worth it, you’d take time to try to figure her out."

Wow. She sounds like a keeper. It could be her upbringing or just her nature. Either way, it's not a bad thing but gifts sometimes double as a reminder. Something to remember you by when apart. So you say you can't marry her because of religious differences, but do you wanna marry her? She sounds like a really good girl. Don't let her slip off your fingers if you love her.

Maybe her parents will ask her questions.

Darven:
I want to correct a statement you made. The fact that you and your girlfriend have had issues and despite all that, you both are still both together, isn't what makes your union unique, but instead, it's what makes it a relationship. Every relationship is bound to have ups and downs. But that's by the way.

Now, I don't think that you should be sad that she isn't accepting gifts from you, afterall there are a lot of guys who complain that their girlfriends are over-demanding and that they want to drain their pockets completely. If such people read your story, they would want to be in your shoes.

In my opinion, I think there are three things that might be influencing her decision not to accept gifts from you. It's either her background, her religion or her resolution.

Some people come from backgrounds where they were trained not to receive gifts from others and it grows with them.
But I think perhaps her religion plays a huge role in all this. Maybe she is scared that if she accepts gifts from you, and since you are from different cultures and religions, her parents would question her about it and she doesn't want them to know she is seeing you and stuff like that.

Also, there are ladies, although quite few, who make resolutions not to accept gifts from guys, probably because they don't want to create the impression that they are in such relationships just for the financial or material gain.

I think the best thing to do is to talk to her and ask her why she isn't accepting gifts from you and hear what she has to say.

Thank you sire
I appreciate

PunkyVeer:


Wow. She sounds like a keeper. It could be her upbringing or just her nature. Either way, it's not a bad thing but gifts sometimes double as a reminder. Something to remember you by when apart. So you say you can't marry her because of religious differences, but do you wanna marry her? She sounds like a really good girl. Don't let her slip off your fingers if you love her.

Yes, she's a good girl
Marrying her? That's what she has always wanted...to be with me. Though she said it will be difficult..."No success without a sacrifice"

younghartz:

Yes, she's a good girl
Marrying her? That's what she has always wanted...to be with me. Though she said it will be difficult..."No success without a sacrifice"

Ok, but what about you? You share the same vision of having her as a wife? I think if you both want it, then why not? This is such a cute story & wish you succeed if that's what you both want.

PunkyVeer:


Ok, but what about you? You share the same vision of having her as a wife? I think if you both want it, then why not? This is such a cute story & wish you succeed if that's what you both want.

Dear we share the same vision bt religion is jst what's keeping us apart...
My mom knws her,am familiar to her family members except her dad.

Aint nothing like a female who's down with u when u have nothing all the way until u have it all & she doesn't want nothing from u but LOVE!!

PunkyVeer:
Lol, are you sure she's really a female?

Anyway, maybe she's afraid of her parents. I mean, if she suddenly has something they know they didn't buy, they might get suspicious & give her the 3rd degree. Muslim parents, from observation, tend to be very strict & overprotective.

wrong.9ja muslim parents behave the same way any typical nigerian parent wud.

op,some girls are like that.its the personality.i dont like receiving gifts from guys n wouldnt ask either.i just feel somehow to do so.hers sounds extreme tho.maybe she s uncomfortable with it n she probably is more boxed up than u r so she feels guilty or smth

younghartz:


Dear we share the same vision bt religion is jst what's keeping us apart...
My mom knws her,am familiar to her family members except her dad.

Aint nothing like a female who's down with u when u have nothing all the way until u have it all & she doesn't want nothing from u but LOVE!!

Then screw religion lol. You love each other & that's all that matters.

I so love the bolded part. Very true.

Mzdivacious:
wrong.9ja muslim parents behave the same way any typical nigerian parent wud.

op,some girls are like that.its the personality.i dont like receiving gifts from guys n wouldnt ask either.i just feel somehow to do so.hers sounds extreme tho.maybe she s uncomfortable with it n she probably is more boxed up than u r so she feels guilty or smth

Yeah! You're right.
Most times during weekends,she comes to my family house nd I will be like "hae cherrie lets go hangout in an eatery" she'll be like why don't you give me the money so we could go to d market together to get food stuff (her kind)and prepare her own native food so I can't taste it.
She acts weird to be honest

Mzdivacious:
wrong.9ja muslim parents behave the same way any typical nigerian parent wud.

op,some girls are like that.its the personality.i dont like receiving gifts from guys n wouldnt ask either.i just feel somehow to do so.hers sounds extreme tho.maybe she s uncomfortable with it n she probably is more boxed up than u r so she feels guilty or smth

Well, I'm not Nigerian or in Naija, was just speaking from my own observation where I live. I know of a Muslim couple that just pulled their daughter off school because she started dating this boy in her school. It's already too late in the year to start at a new school, so she'll be repeating the grade at a new Muslim school next year. That's how most of them are. They don't want their children "corrupted".

PunkyVeer:


Well, I'm not Nigerian or in Naija, was just speaking from my own observation where I live. I know of a Muslim couple that just pulled their daughter off school because she started dating this boy in her school. It's already too late in the year to start at a new school, so she'll be repeating the grade at a new Muslim school next year. That's how most of them are. They don't want their children "corrupted".

that wud happen asia n middle east i guess.n its sad wen i see it in movies.but its not near that bad here.it cud happen with both christian n muslim extremist parents
ps.im a muslim

kingsley1000.

Mzdivacious:
that wud happen asia n middle east i guess.n its sad wen i see it in movies.but its not near that bad here.it cud happen with both christian n muslim extremist parents
ps.im a muslim

Hmmm..

younghartz:


Am a student. 300l

300 level and 21 years old, then I'll tell you to focus on graduating and find a job. This is Nigeria bro.

At this stage, you should plan on building a long lasting relationship, hour parents don't need to know about you guys until when you're financially able.

If she refuse your gift, be sure to ask her why, because for one who truly loves you, I see no reason why she should be refusing your gifts.

Interesting one that deserves my esteemed attention and unsaturated contribution


Bro, I'll urge you to just use whatever money/gift you have for her as 'burnt offerings' every Sabbath day in appreciation to the good lord for a so rare gem of a girlfriend who won't anyday act like the canker worm who'd not mind eating down the young tree thriving to survive that you are, being a 300lvl student of course.


Furthermore, I do feel her blatant refusal of your gifts no matter how small as you've pasted it to be could be to make sure she doesn't owe you too much if per adventure the ish you guys are having doesn't work out till the end anyway. Now, that's an attribute of a modest , well brought up Muslim lady from a good home .


Now, to what divides you - Religion. Don't allow that to bother you too much for now, keep breeding love for its too early(minding your age and standard pocket-wise) to start thinking of marriage. Time and fate will design where the ship of your adventure will eventually land. For the time being , enjoy the sail with true love for its rare.


I'll just advise you anyway to sacrifice all you can to wife this damsel even if it means changing your religion status! My candid opinion

pinceprinz:

Interesting one that deserves my esteemed attention and unsaturated contribution


Bro, I'll urge you to just use whatever money/gift you have for her as 'burnt offerings' every Sabbath day in appreciation to the good lord for a so rare gem of a girlfriend who won't anyday act like the canker worm who'd not mind eating down the young tree thriving to survive that you are, being a 300lvl student of course.


Furthermore, I do feel her blatant refusal of your gifts no matter how small as you've pasted it to be could be to make sure she doesn't owe you too much if per adventure the ish you guys are having doesn't work out till the end anyway. Now, that's an attribute of a modest , well brought up Muslim lady from a good home .


Now, to what divides you - Religion. Don't allow that to bother you too much for now, keep breeding love for its too early(minding your age and standard pocket-wise) to start thinking of marriage. Time and fate will design where the ship of your adventure will eventually land. For the time being , enjoy the sail with true love for its rare.


I'll just advise you anyway to sacrifice all you can to wife this damsel even if it means changing your religion status! My candid opinion

I so much love the bold part

younghartz:
[b]yesterday being 13th october 2015,I got a phone for my girlfriend who has been with me for over a year now....
My name is hart and I'm 21yrs old and I have a girlfriend by name fatima who's 20yrs old..
We've had ups and downs in the relationship bt we have been together and that's what makes it unique...but something about her, she always refuse to collect gifts from me,she does the calling and d text most times and ever since we started dating,every morning I always get a swt good morning msg from her... It has always bn fun having her around,even if am at sch she sends money for me..God knws hw she got my acc no cus I never told her,she always use my name as d depositor,so, I won't be able to suspect her bt I later found out.
For her to accept gift frm me is always world war 2. I really don't knw why she always refuse things from me she always say"ps don't bother yourself" "I won't be happy if you do it next time blah blah blah....bt I have conscience na I cnt jst be accepting all d time without giving back. April dis year her phone got spoilt and I was in sch then,so she got a nokia touch light bt last wk d phone became faulty,mouth piece ish...we couldn't talk for 4days and that shit was killing...so I decided to get her a phone"bold 5". Last night she refused to collect the phone,making me feel so sad I had to force it into her hands and I left her place...she refused picking my calls. I got a text from her by 22:30...
I love this girl so much nd I'm sure she also loves me bt d gifts ish is killing me slowly [/b]
Note: we cnt get married due to religion am an igbo boy from a Christian home while she's a fulani from a muslim home
even though we have every reason to stay apart.I'm sure we'll risk it all to be together
I just need an advice on how I can make her to accept gifts from me
Help a brother out

She gives because its her nature.

The reason she won't accept gifts from you:

She's principled, and knows (or strongly believes) you won't overcome your hurdles. Plus, you're a struggling student, and she knows you need what money you have for yourself.

I had/have this same issue, and these are some of my personal thoughts.

EnlightenedSoul:


She gives because its her nature.

The reason she won't accept gifts from you:

She's principled, and knows (or strongly believes) you won't overcome your hurdles. Plus, you're a struggling student, and she knows you need what money you have for yourself.

I've had/have this same issue, and these are my personal thoughts.

Oh, thanks dear
I guess its her nature....
I jst had conscience that's why you won't blame a brother na

younghartz:


Oh, thanks dear
I guess its her nature....
I jst had conscience that's why you won't blame a brother na

No problem.
Continue to have a conscience. Best of luck

Unrelated questions based on your post: Why do you use military time? Is it common in Nigeria?

Highcuerayte:
If i get your super story right you are saying you are dating a girl whose ideas on gift does not conflate with yours for a confidential yet mysterious reason to your hyper-ventilated brain.And in that, this eccentric ideas of hers makes you appear egocentric to your little discomfitured self.And in other to avoid any further exacerbation you have decided to seek advice out of your chemically inert brain. Is that it?

Bros dis ur English fit scatter person brain ooo

EnlightenedSoul:


No problem.
Continue to have a conscience. Best of luck

Unrelated questions based on your post: Why do you use military time? Is it common in Nigeria?

Hahaahha do u mean d 22:30
I just like the 24hrs clock
I dnt knw if its common in nigeria