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Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by darkskingoddess(f): 1:47am On Oct 27, 2015
Lucasbalo:
Akata was and is still derogatory. You are right.

Well, you learn something everyday.
I wouldn't know, as I am African American myself. I've had Nigerians refer to me as an akata to my face, with a big smile. I guess I assumed it was harmless. Looks can be deceiving undecided
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Lucasbalo(m): 3:22am On Oct 27, 2015
darkskingoddess:


Well, you learn something everyday.
I wouldn't know, as I am African American myself. I've had Nigerians refer to me as an akata to my face, with a big smile. I guess I assumed it was harmless. Looks can be deceiving undecided
Well, it's harmless and the people calling you Akata doesn't mean it in a negative way. I am a Nigerian/American as well as African/American myself having been born in Lagos but moved to US as a young boy and spent almost 80% of my life as at now in Chitown. I said marriage is possible between the two as I have been married to my A/A wife for over 20 years. We have three beautiful teenage daughters two of them in college. Would and never call my wife or daughters Akata. I don't refer to 'sisters or brothers' as Akata.
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by RedCapChief(m): 6:47pm On Oct 27, 2015
I don't think Akata is derogatory. It is just slang

AA and Nigerian dating does work if both parties know what they want from the outset. The only thing that may be an issue is culture but even that can be worked out

Heck, my childhood bud recently got married to a white girl from Ohio. They dated for three years.

1 Like

Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Nobody: 6:12am On Oct 28, 2015
darkskingoddess:
Is the cultural barrier too problematic in such a relationship?

Should each stick to their own?

Have you/would you consider dating or marrying an African American (akata)?

I'd like to hear thoughts on this topic. smiley
Maybe, maybe not. cheesy

Generally, the basic element to be seen within a mixed-marriage is love. Usually the parties involved are convinced that they love each other and are ready to make sacrifices through love.

Mixed marriages have also witnessed its own problems and progress. Such problems stem from disagreements by parents of those involved. Fear and un-certainty are always serious problems as to what happens to one of the parties who has to learn different language, culture and so on.

Another problem is the acceptance of each other's family and identical crisis of the kids.

Notwithstanding though, I think it strictly depends on the two persons involved to make their marriage work.
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Monifere85(f): 8:59am On Oct 28, 2015
You can't judge a group of people based off a bad experience with one person. Not all of us Black American women are bad, terrible,nor do we all have bad credit, or low self esteem. That would be like me saying all Yoruba men are evil, money hungry scammers. But I can't because that was only one person. I am Jamaican American, and I do not have low self esteem, or bad credit. I do not agree that all Black American women feel as if their man is going to leave them. I do agree that Nigerian men like a woman who is submissive, as I am dating a Yoruba man. I have no problem with that, being as though that's how my grandmother raised me. Long story short, it is possible. Yes, it can be a challenge, but I make sure to learn about his culture, his language, take cooking lessons from his mom to cook the food he likes from back home. We both have the same work ethics, are putting ourselves through school, value our family, etc. In other words it can work.

3 Likes

Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Nobody: 9:34am On Oct 28, 2015
Monifere85:
You can't judge a group of people based off a bad experience with one person. Not all of us Black American women are bad, terrible,nor do we all have bad credit, or low self esteem. That would be like me saying all Yoruba men are evil, money hungry scammers. But I can't because that was only one person. I am Jamaican American, and I do not have low self esteem, or bad credit. I do not agree that all Black American women feel as if their man is going to leave them. I do agree that Nigerian men like a woman who is submissive, as I am dating a Yoruba man. I have no problem with that, being as though that's how my grandmother raised me. Long story short, it is possible. Yes, it can be a challenge, but I make sure to learn about his culture, his language, take cooking lessons from his mom to cook the food he likes from back home. We both have the same work ethics, are putting ourselves through school, value our family, etc. In other words it can work.
Ok good. You got everything going for you now and you're willing to learn more.

Ability to learn more will surely make your relationship prosper but somehow, sometimes, there could be a little misunderstanding which I think it's natural.

Marriage could never be one hundred percent right.
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by MikeWill: 11:53am On Oct 28, 2015
Marriage BTW AA n Nigerians work well but majority of what keep the marriage is love , sacrifice and williness to invest in culture from both parties. My uncle in MD has been married to his AA wife for close to 50 yrs and they still together. So my conclusion is it does work n I'm a big fan of y'all with badonkadonk. grin

4 Likes

Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by darkskingoddess(f): 12:02pm On Oct 28, 2015
MikeWill:
Marriage BTW AA n Nigerians work well but majority of what keep the marriage is love , sacrifice and williness to invest in culture from both parties. My uncle in MD has been married to his AA wife for close to 50 yrs and they still together. So my conclusion is it does work n I'm a big fan of y'all with badonkadonk. grin

50 years-- wow! cheesy Great to hear.
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Nobody: 1:03pm On Oct 28, 2015
Hey, nigerians are dirty people angry dey can marry anybody or anytin whether african-american, somalian, japenese. No wonder the whites despise u guys *spits* Dirty people, go learn how to work on ur backward economy and slowpoke president. Damn
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Monifere85(f): 1:11pm On Oct 28, 2015
MikeWill:
Marriage BTW AA n Nigerians work well but majority of what keep the marriage is love , sacrifice and williness to invest in culture from both parties. My uncle in MD has been married to his AA wife for close to 50 yrs and they still together. So my conclusion is it does work n I'm a big fan of y'all with badonkadonk. grin

That is great to hear, and so true. Lol.... I haven't hard the word badonkadonk in years.
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by aariwa(m): 2:45am On Nov 12, 2015
Monifere85:
You can't judge a group of people based off a bad experience with one person. Not all of us Black American women are bad, terrible,nor do we all have bad credit, or low self esteem. That would be like me saying all Yoruba men are evil, money hungry scammers. But I can't because that was only one person. I am Jamaican American, and I do not have low self esteem, or bad credit. I do not agree that all Black American women feel as if their man is going to leave them. I do agree that Nigerian men like a woman who is submissive, as I am dating a Yoruba man. I have no problem with that, being as though that's how my grandmother raised me. Long story short, it is possible. Yes, it can be a challenge, but I make sure to learn about his culture, his language, take cooking lessons from his mom to cook the food he likes from back home. We both have the same work ethics, are putting ourselves through school, value our family, etc. In other words it can work.
Yea its not only your own .there is always this form of magic chemistry in marriages involving Nigerians and Jamaicans which I cannot fathom.I have also observed that many of my people that married Jamaicans in U.S are really having successful marriages.Maybe its because of the submissive issue you mentioned
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Nobody: 3:47am On Nov 12, 2015
I am Black American and my fiance is Bini Nigerian. The only real issues that we have are English language issues. He speaks British English and I speak American English. There are some cultural expectations that each of us possess but over all we work fine. His uncle doesn't approved by oh well. Can't please everybody and not trying too.

1 Like

Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by Nobody: 3:55am On Nov 12, 2015
dunah:
Most of them are low esteemed, they always afraid you gonna leave them for our Nigerian girls and that makes them suspicious of every move we make. Am talking from my own experience though.

I think this is because sooooo many Nigerian men have played the green card scam on Black American women. Marry a US citizen, get the green card, get divorced then bring the true Nigerian wife over. Same stereotyping the OP is doing about Black women is the same sterotyping we do about Nigerian men.

2 Likes

Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by itstpia8: 4:57am On Nov 12, 2015
aariwa:
Yea its not only your own .there is always this form of magic chemistry in marriages involving Nigerians and Jamaicans which I cannot fathom.I have also observed that many of my people that married Jamaicans in U.S are really having successful marriages.Maybe its because of the submissive issue you mentioned

Jamaicans generally have stronger marriage foundations in marriages with non-Jamaicans.

check other Jamaican and non Nigerian/non Jamaican marriages in the US as well, you'll see the same thing.

Not sure why this is so.

when they marry non blacks also [Chinese, Caucasian, etc], same scenario.

1 Like

Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by An0nimus: 9:23pm On Nov 19, 2015
darkskingoddess:
"Terrible set of people"
"Bad"
"Big problem"
"Low esteem"
"Trouble"
"Suspicious"

I posted this originally with open mind and heart, but I must say, many of these comments about AAs are disheartening.
Are you Akata?
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by pri3stess(f): 12:16am On Jan 06, 2016
Lucasbalo:
Akata was and is still derogatory. You are right.

Akata is not a derogatory word. I believe it means fox or wild cat in Yoruba. This is a name that was used in reference to the black panthers in the late sixties by nigerians, but now the term is used to refer to all African Americans.
Re: Nigerians And African Americans Dating-- Can It Work? by pri3stess(f): 12:20am On Jan 06, 2016
darkskingoddess:


Well, you learn something everyday.
I wouldn't know, as I am African American myself. I've had Nigerians refer to me as an akata to my face, with a big smile. I guess I assumed it was harmless. Looks can be deceiving undecided

Disregard the poster that told you that its a derogatory term. Most Nigerians don't even know where the term originated from, Its just a term used for AA's just the same way we call white people Oyibo.
Akata is not a derogatory word. I believe it means fox or wild cat in Yoruba. This is a name that was used in reference to the black panthers in the late sixties by nigerians, but now the term is used to refer to all African Americans.

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