First I want to appeal to members here who will respond to this post to be kind enough to understand what I'm going through. If you must criticize me, please let it be constructive and not bashing me. I need help and that is the reason I have come here. I won't want to made to feel worse because I have seen lots of responses to other peoples post that I consider offensive. I don't have good friends I can relate with. The only two I have in school are big time runs girls who has nothing good to say about love and relationships.

My Story:

I'm a 24 years old yoruba girl in love with a 35 years old ibo guy. I met him when I was 18 and he was my second boyfriend but my first and only love so far. My first relationship was less than 6 months when he came and swept me away. The 6 years we've been together has been the best 6 years of my life and in this 6 years (and still counting), I have never cheated on him. I have in some occassions hung out at night or day time with friends to either a party or a club (which he always knew about before I decide on going), I have on several occassions received money or gifts from admirers and I always tell him about it. He is so supportive and very understanding. Aside my first boyfriend (cos I didn't meet him a virgin. I wish I did), he is the only man I've been with. he loves and adores me and to me, he is the only man on this planet earth.

Today, he is getting married to someone else. He has done his introduction, the wedding date fixed, he has even introduced his wife to be to me because I made him promise me he will do that when the time comes. I also promised to do the same when I find a man I can tolerate (cos I don't have love again left to give) as a husband. Why are we not getting married today? FATE! We are both AS. This we discovered 2 years ago. I don't want to bore you all with what happened when we found out. The girl he is marrying today is his ex girlfriend. they broke up a year before he met me.

The problem now is, we still love each other so much. Mine is the worst case because the fear that I am loosing him is making me love him even more. I crave for him per second. To help myself, I have started another relationship since october last year but its only a formality. I'm not in love with the guy cos I don't have any to give. I like him though because he respects my decision of no sex. The no sex decision is because I can't stand another man touch me. The love of my life's wife is not in Lagos so I still go to spend weekends with him. Endavours to see him at least once or twice every week before weekend proper. I have sex with him all the time except I'm on my monthly. I tried to help myself dis-entangle from him sometime by deleting all his pictures on my phone, but that made it worse instead, because I don't have anything to look at again when I miss him. I get so cold when I hang out with my new boyfriend because I find myself thinking I wouldn't have been doing this if all was well. Every music reminds me of him. if I see a car with the semblance of his my heart jumps off my head. Its killing me slowly. I want to move on but i can't. the WILL is there but my soul can't let me. I am envious of his wife I must be sincere. But I also know there's nothing I can do about it. I lived with him for my first 3 years in the university. I go to school from his house and only go home on weekends. i'm in my final year now (UNILAG). Now, everything about him is sweeter. The sex is mind blowing, coiling up in bed with him feels like heaven. he also is not letting me go. can I ever survive this?

Please my fellow ladies, if you have been through a similar experience before, how did you deal with it. I'm madly in love but I know we can't be together.

BABE, ADVICE YOURSELF AND LEAVE THE GUY ALONE, YOU WILL GET A CLEARER PICTURE WHEN HIS WIFE CATCHES UP WITH YOUR EXCAPADES.
HE IS NOT YOURS ANYMORE SO



VANISH, JUST VANISH,

Funmi, your story is pathetic but you can't continue to Kill Yourself Slowly.
Let Go!
Stop seeing him and sleeping with him,It obvious that the guy doesn't want the best for you because if he does, he won't be sleeping with you after getting married to another person.
For Now,Focus on your studies and forget about guys!

the age gap between u guys will affect the relationship later. follow your heart, save your future. (www.romance-gists..com)

BABE, THIS ONE IS TOO MUCH, BUT YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO, FIRST OF ALL TRY TO RE-LOCATE BECAUSE AS FAR A YOU PEOPLE ARE IN THE SAME PLACE, YOU MUST HAVE THE FEELING, SO FIND SOMEWHERE YOU WILL GO TO EASE YOUR PAIN.

ALSO YOU ARE COMMITING A BIG OFFENCE BY SLEEPING WITH HIM IT IS NOT GOOD ATALL, YOU ARE HURTING THE POOR GIRL HE IS MARRIED TO AND IF SHE FINDS IT, BELIEVE ME IT WILL NOT BE FUN, BUT IF YOU CANNOT RE-LOCATE, STOP SEEING HIM.

over to the women of the forum.
i hope you understand that the two of you are just bleeping each other and nothing else. it is very likely you will come out worst should anything negative come out of ur rendevouz.

anyways, i shall let the women of the forum do the talking.

FOR ME LIFE ITS SELF IS NOT FAIR.

WHAT U HAVE TO DO IS LET HIM GO. I FACED SIMILAR SITUATION BUT IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION COS MY GIRL WHO I LOVE SO MUCH WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND QUIT 4RM THE RELATIONSHIP.

I JUST LET HER BE AND TRY TO FIND POSITIVE THINGS TO DO SUCH AS FOUSSING ON MY NEW JOB.

THUS, I ADVICE U TO LET HIM GO AND FOCUS ON UR STUDIES COS U ARE IN UR FINAL YR AND THIS IS THE MOST SERIOUS PART OF UR ACADEMICS. TAKE HEART AND LOVE UR NEW BF COS THAT IS THE ONLY OPTION U HAVE NOW ELSE U WILL BE LEFT IN THE COLD WITHOUT ANYBODY TO SHOW U ATTENTION AND AFFECTION.

WAKE UP FROM UR SLUMBER AND FACED THE REALITIES OF LIFE. STOP CRYING AND LOVE UR NEW BF!!!!!!!!!

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE .

you story is a harsh one but this is reality and one day or another you will have to face it. the more you hang on to him, the harder it will be to let go.
i wont be surprize if you continue your affair well into HIS marriage.
the age difference is not really the problem, the fact that he has chosen to marry someone else IS.
you already clearly stated that you LOVE him with every bones of your body so there is not much we can do but wait until that love slowly fades away.
the day you are ready to let go then you will start seeing things more clearly and move on with your life.
you are history and will only be used for sexual gratifications, so i am not surprized that this guy keeps you at arms length. he wants his wife and his mistress.
if you are ready to be the second best then so be it.

you might not get too much sympathy from married women in here because they will put themselves in the wife to be's shoes.
ps: be honest and let your new man know what the deal is.

Oh ye of little faith . . . both of you are AS and so you're going to throw a wonderful relationship away? Your dude is a coward . . . i'd have gone ahead and married you. There's stuff like genetic testing now that can determine if your child would be SS so you could remove it before its too late.

what an interesting story! another Yoruba vs Igbo love triangle!  love it!!



@ poster

you two could never have married anyway regardless of your blood type.  Too much free milk.

dont wanna be overly harsh here so am toning down my tone!

but you say the sex is good so have that to remember him by whenever you decide to wake up

wow! My dear, let go now, or else you'll cos urself and ur luv to much heartache. He has given himself a chance at a life by getting married, you should follow suit. It will be hard, but hold the memories and one day you'll meet someone who'll help you love again.

you had better take a walk before what ever feelings you have for him drives you crazy

oops

Poster, I know this is very hard, especially a guy who ticks all your boxes.

But however way you see this you need to move on my dear. He has moved on, he is settling for his ex and

will begin to build his family. You need to do the same for yourself. Let me ask you a question: do you think

he is getting married to his ex for the sake of marriage or he still has some feelings for her? Which ever way

you want to see it, you need to move on. What if you were the wife and your man is hooked on another

woman? He used to be yours, but clearly he has given himself to someone else.

My sister, yes he does love me no doubt about that. He doesnt have as much love for his wife. He just chose the girl because she is one lady amongs his numerous exs' that her love for him is likened to mine. She left her half cast boyfriend for him. I don't know what my problem is but I feel I can have a part of him since I can't have all. I am not sure I want to relinquish the little of that I have even after his marriage or mine. Its adultery Yes! But why did God allow this sort of fate befall us? Sometimes I just feel like killing us both but I feel for the poor wife.

abeg no kill am oh

just find another good lover!

besides, his wife left her boyfriend to marry him, while he left you, his girlfriend(?) to marry her- I'd say there was something going on under your nose the whole time, which you probably missed?

@ Poster:

Like someone pointed out earlier, if he really loved you as much as he claims, he would have married you regardless and you guys would have just tested yourself each time you get pregnant. Chances are, you could have likely had at least one AA or AS. But no, he quickly went ahead and got himself someone else.

My dear, i know you are wearing the shoes and know exactly where it pinches but babe, you gats to move on o! I am not even sure its a good idea to be dating someone else now because all you are going to do is compare him with your ex and hate the new guy even more. Maybe this is time to be alone, reflect, cry as much as you want, and ask God for peace and comfort. (its sounds hard but it works) God cannot let us encounter what we cannot bear so hang in there. You will be fine, i promise!

Also, stay away from that guy!  He married someone else, had the nerve to introduce them to you and still messing with you with no clear intentions for your future, as in, chopping you and his wife? Not fair if you ask me, and lastly, if you want God to heal you, you also have to be ready to help yourself heal. Commiting adultery is horrible! That is clearly breaking a union between the man, his wife and God, omo, you go marry one day ooooo, and KARMA IS A BITCH!!

Cheers babe!

what happens if you become pregnant?

Life comes to us as a gift of nature and in several cases, the package is both fair and foul.

You must face your life with what you can live with and not with your emotions.

Please, move on and believe me that God has the answer to every loss.

as i was just saying on another thread on the same AS/SS subject.
there IS a cure for the disease through bone marrow transplant, only possible with children. yeah its expensive but not impossible. as i can see, the poster has true love for the guy and we all know that nothing is impossible with true love.so if love was really there, you guys could have gotten your children treatment(wherever that may be) to cure them.
i guess the guy doesnt see the situation as a negative one. he is already unfaithful to his wife.

MOVE! LIFE GOES ON!

Methinks this guy is very smart indeed, and is having the best of both worlds. I admire the guy no be small. MrbrownJAY hit it on the head when he asked why you guys broke up over the AS issue when there are numerous ways to avoid a SS baby. I bet the girl he chose was Ibo abi? The AS thing was just the perfect excuse to jabo you and keep chopping you after messing with your head. Anyone that was really in love wouldn't go marry someone else- does marriage look like a game to you? Who i their right mind quickly leaves someone they are in love with to MARRY someone else; unless they never really loved the person in the first place. What you need to do is free the guy that thinks he's dating you cos you are not being fair to him at all, especially when you are there sleeping with a "married man" behind his back.

Stop sleeping with him - you have decided he should marry someone else.

You sound like you will be content to keep getting 'a part of him' even when he's married and that is dangerous. For your own good, stop sleeping with him and move to another town/avoid seeing him completely if possible.

If you do not let go now. . .you will never let go. . . the earlier the better.

hmmm. nahwah @post. pity pity pity

na waooooo leave with a man for 3 yrs and u r just 24, oti oo

like smone said,he wouldnt have even married u atall,too much free milk

the last time i checked 90 percent of  igbo men will always sleep with the loose girls and go get themselves smone more reserved or decent

U lived with him for 3 good years,and im sure u were quite young then

do u honestly think,men r fools?

The earlier u wake up from slumber d better for u, the dude already had sthg going on wit his ex,even when u two never knew about the blood type

Oh poor him. He is not a bad guy. I must say emphatically that the 6 years I was with him, he never for once cheated on me. If he did, then the girl or girls he cheated with must be stupid because I have till date a key to his house. Till recently I've had my belongings at his place. He is one of the coolest guys I've ever seen. My friends envied me both the once in school and my hood girls. The friends I've made along the line all liked him and always encouraged me not to mess up because there are not too many of his type out there. Were we alter bound before the discovery? YES. I'm from a good christian home and my parents dear not find out I already was living with a guy at 20. Yes love can make us do silly things. I was properly brought up reason there were so many things I couldn't do aside my having a man I can die for. When we made the discovery 2yrs ago, it seemed the end of time for both of us. We wept for days. Along the line we agreed to part ways but not to give up on the love we have for each other. It seemed a simple thing for me until he had his introduction in march this year. The girl he is marrying (his ex) now, they ran into each other last december and got back together. He got me pregnant; it was a mutual agreement so we could risk if I can have a normal baby. But when I confided in my elder sister she screamed that my daddy will spit fire since I'm not formally married to the guy. She also talked to me on the dangers inherent in what I want to get myself into. It might interest you all to know, my dad is pastor in our church and my mum a deaconess. Knowing the that the outcome wont be easy I had to plead with my man we abort the pregnancy. He loves me so much but we should all understand that realities can't be swept under the carpet. Love can go sour given certain conditions mostly when families starts to bump him. I'd rather he marry some girl and we still preserve the love we share than me watching it go sour with me in it. It'll kill me. I later started feeling I should allow him marry as he is not getting any younger. But now that it has happened, the thought of him with another woman is killing me. I wish I never encouraged him in the first place. I have so many wishes but its too late. Can I please just make do with the little of him that I can have? Please am I insane already because sometimes when I'm alone I start to call his name and cry. I need heeeeelp.

who's Michael bay? Did I miss something?




Poster, much as I love these love nwantintin stories especially when it involves Yoruba and Igbo _{gosh I'm bad- may God help me,} firstly, AS and AS marriage isnt advisable because whatever love you thought you had could quickly vanish in the face of SS offspring.

secondly, you know what they say- marry someone who loves you, not just someone you love. The man was only milking the overflowing ice cream you were throwing at him- who wouldnt.


Anyway, since you had happy times together, you'll have those memories to console you in the future, like i said before.

However, all the love nwantintin from him that you're swearing by, e get as e be, because I have people whose multiple girlfriends can reprint your exact story here, and say its their own. ie they experienced the same thing until life came at them fast. Am not supporting players ,but now you know some men wear their feelings on their sleeves, and having happy times with you doesnt mean the dude cant have the same kind of happy time with someone else. Forget all the crying- no be naija man?

Wishing you the best and is this a true story? And dont worry, if it is, you'll get over him whenever you're ready.