I'm sorry 4d previous long comment.
U asked for a coping mechanism. This is it: zero ur mind & tell urself this "most men cheat"
I didn't say all, & it shouldn't be your man. But it is what it is & as long as he doesn't rub it in ur face, then u'll be fine
If he denies it, its a sign dat he @least cares about ur feelings.

Be as loving as u know how 2b. Goodluck
**me & long comments. God help me

akike:


No man/woman is but there are things that are inexcusable

I am vexes because I know of a man who exhibited the same behaviour and did not change after marriage.

..
Pls am sori.. I didn't mean to provoke u dis sunday morning, just dat i hate seeing long relationship going astray.. I understand ur strong opinion now.. Meet me of facebook where my jokes dey rain like water.. My signature..

intbizoil:
My sister your man is cheating. Like I always say all men are divided into two those that cheat and those that are violent. Your man falls into the first category. Never you think he will change because he will get worse. So if you care about what people say then go ahead but know that those people will leave you to face your marriage woes alone.

pls what about women " what category do dey fall #waiting

Bethh:


Wow!!
Ure definitely rolling with a hell lot of wrong guyz

No, she not. On sharing life issues with Charles b, a woman called crying about the husband infidelity another woman called and asked shared how she was able to deal with it. she usually gives the husband condom to travel with and advice him to always stay protected inorder not to infect her. After every travel visit she conducts a test for herself and the man, this happened for two years after a while the man realised it rubbish and begged the woman for forgiveness.
Nigerians and their hypocritical life.
Who is without sin should cast the first stone?

akike:


I am sorry. It is but don't you think that it is too early for him to start that nonsense

A man that is already akapo will alway be akapo like oyinbo will says leopard can not change its .........
You dion't go into marriage with hope of changing sometime but with resolute to accept the 70% good portion and grace to live with the 30% that is bad.....anything else spell marital wreakage.


Eyin obirin yin gaan wahalah yin ti poju.,...that how one woman alway nag her everytime, she spot other ladies with him....our man do everything to reassure her that the ladies are just collueges but the woman no wan hear....na one day the our man come vex gidigba say, I never do am, you dey give me wahalah, make I go do am and let see wetin you go do....

smilegal84yaho:
my dear friend,now you have known he his not a faithful fiancé's you better advice your self o
cos any man that is not a faithful boyfriend cannot be a faithful husband.
The worst thing that can happen to a woman is not trusting her man,any marriage that is not based on trust is considered void.

some faithful boyfirnds have turn out to be the worst cheating husband.

missyadorable:

Stop lying na! haba! we all know u won't walk away except u are not a Nigerian lady.Marriage is d greatest n most important achievement for a woman here and All men are polygamous in nature.if you keep walking away cos a man decided to be a man,you will end up being insulted everytime like genevieve nnaji,linda ikeji,rita Dominic n other matured single ladies

LaraiBoluwaji:

*shudders*

Such a carnal advice.

Hahahahaha
You expected a spiritual advice to a carnal issue?

If only you know what successful marriages had/have to contend with.

With all the philandering waywardness of 2face a delectable lady was proud to walk the aisle with him, why can't the same be said of our rich, delectable and accomplished ladies?

Sunnypar:
some faithful boyfirnds have turn out to be the worst cheating husband.

You dey mind them bro, dem no know anything... Even ladies own worst...dem go dey play mother superior during courting only for you to discover laater that she is free distributor for hood

Sunnypar:
some faithful boyfirnds have turn out to be the worst cheating husband.

You dey mind them bro, dem no know anything... Even ladies own worst...dem go dey play mother superior during courting only for you to discover laater that she is free distributor for hood

[quote author=standingtall post=39297823]hi guys,

About a month ago, I found condoms an, empty pack of condoms in his bag, I confronted him about it and he told me he saw the pack on the floor and he liked the colour of the pack so he picked it up.

Lolz... Sharp guyz will always have an explanation...

Hello sister,I must commend ur for seeking advice nd I will assumed u staying wth him now nd having sex wth him.If he man want to marry u while u still in his house three months frm now. Then he is still using his joystick fucki around,he doesn't respect nd value u. So I will advice u study wen he is in Gud mood if possible mal sex wth him lik neva before wthout thinki wht he has done. After taking your shower,questions him very well in a cool manner nd u demand explainatn. If u re not satisfied wth his explainatn nd he doesn't show remorse then don't spend d next 24hours den . WALK AWAY cos he is pointing d door for u so that u don't regret ur marriage in life timx. U can add me up in Whatsap for more advice 08134469289

kefedmayor:
Hello sister,I must commend ur for seeking advice nd I will assumed u staying wth him now nd having sex wth him.If he man want to marry u while u still in his house three months frm now. Then he is still using his joystick fucki around,he doesn't respect nd value u. So I will advice u study wen he is in Gud mood if possible mal sex wth him lik neva before wthout thinki wht he has done. After taking your shower,questions him very well in a cool manner nd u demand explainatn. If u re not satisfied wth his explainatn nd he doesn't show remorse then don't spend d next 24hours den . WALK AWAY cos he is pointing d door for u so that u don't regret ur marriage in life timx. U can add me up in Whatsap for more advice 08134469289

She should add you on whatsapp for more advise, like seriously?
There are a lot of clowns on NL......you see the hypocrisy am talking about Nigerians......smh.

missyadorable:
Op,You are a very lucky lady and your fiance is a very good reasonable man...

He is bleeping other ladies,its not a big deal.All men do that!

Besides, he doesn't even owe you any faithfulness.

Your husband after taking vow of fidelity will still bleep other women..the difference is using protection.

You should be happy and thank him whenever you find condoms in his bag,drawer,wallets.

I congratulate you for having a man who knows and understands the implications of unprotected se.x and he is taking necessary steps to protect himself and YOU from STIs including deadly HIV and also prevent having kids from side chics

What else do you want a man to do for you? Isn't that enough?

Stop making a big deal outta nothing.

No man bleeps only one woman!!

If you are looking for a man who will be 100% faithful to you,take clay and mould him and make sure you don't give him a deek.

HML in advance!!

God bless u my sista, seems u knw hw d game goes.... ignore it nd let him knws she wont trust him anymore den let him proove u wrong.. d devil u knbw is beta dan d angel u dnt knw..

masonkz:


You'd be surprised how rightshe might be

She's can't be right. If you and your circle of friends can't stick 2 one girl, I have met guys who can so u can't convince me otherwise.

missyadorable:
Op,You are a very lucky lady and your fiance is a very good reasonable man...

He is bleeping other ladies,its not a big deal.All men do that!

Besides, he doesn't even owe you any faithfulness.

Your husband after taking vow of fidelity will still bleep other women..the difference is using protection.

You should be happy and thank him whenever you find condoms in his bag,drawer,wallets.

I congratulate you for having a man who knows and understands the implications of unprotected se.x and he is taking necessary steps to protect himself and YOU from STIs including deadly HIV and also prevent having kids from side chics

What else do you want a man to do for you? Isn't that enough?

Stop making a big deal outta nothing.

No man bleeps only one woman!!

If you are looking for a man who will be 100% faithful to you,take clay and mould him and make sure you don't give him a deek.

HML in advance!!

hmmm u really have a lot of understanding abt man's polygamous nature but i have been with one gal 4 three years and never kissed another till date,i hope i maintain it till d end...but it's hard though.

tete7000:


Both are cheating on themselves. Are they legally married? No! So when they have sex together, they do it as what? Legitimate couple? People have been deceiving themselves since Adam and Eve ate forbidden fruit. If a man/woman have premarital sex, their is no guarantee they will be faithful to themselves. If he sleeps with you before he marries you, he can equally and justifiably sleep with another. Afterall it is an open relationship with no marital commitment. Each can decide to take a walk away when tired. Harsh truth.

It's a Sunday, indeed...ur sermon's welcomed...did yhu preach this in church 2day?

xtervaganza:
see your mouth



How are you sure he's cheating when there's no other sign than the condom?



I've been in that situation before when I bought a condom for a friend and then boom!



You ladies really need to calm down

When yhu decide to get urself into awkward situations,yhu deal with the consequences.What have yhu got to say bout a grown up man picking condom sachets on d ground and still going ahead to have extra in hz bag knowing fully well hz fiancee is probably suspicious ov him? Fcos,if he wasn't actually using them 4 himself,he'd be more careful bout creating dissensions and suspicions over nufin.

Nuellah02:
There's no harm in asking, so ask! But study his body language. He might wanna use them with you.

body language? Buhari is an expert in this case

Looking for change when he is not around. That's stealing

uzolexis:


She's can't be right. If you and your circle of friends can't stick 2 one girl, I have met guys who can so u can't convince me otherwise.

Just saying... don't be surprised.

Yea....I stick to one guy. My straight friends can't, despite professing all the love for their girlfriends

masonkz:


Just saying... don't be surprised.

Yea....I stick to one guy. My straight friends can't, despite professing all the love for their girlfriends

I can't be surprised cos of course I know guys who can't stick to one girl and I also know guys who can. There are always 2 sides 2 a coin.

Chai!..if he z cheating,he truely loves u to be using condom..walahi....remember this : marriage is coming together of two persons who can manage the bad side of each other perfectly..not coming together of perfect people(that one na novel)..u can only let him go if u cant manage his impefection as he manages urs....my brothers wife use to put CD in his traveling park when he goes on business trips cos she knws he lvs her yet she knws hz weaknes and manages..until d guy proved he z straight.. Creat what u wnt,if u run u will be running 4 d rest of ur days..ntin like perfection in marriage.

I have a feeling your husband to be is right here reading this, and has dropped a comment.
Ma, be wise, approach him before you run.

Happy married life in advance

Dyt:



Wow
Wow
Wow
Marriage is an achievement
This is interesting

Ofcoz, marriage is an achievement....

How will you feel if in ur family, ur parent begot 6girls and a boy! And out of the 6girls... All of them gt married and live happily?

Aside that...

How will you feel... If you've been dating men and they come to you becoz u're beautiful and not becoz u're worth marrying? And when ur beauty is about to fade out... Gossips wallow around u and somebdy come for ur hand in marriage?

Marriage is an achievement in many ways... The joy of you being addressed as MR&MRS.. The joy of u being treated like an angel by ur husband... The joy u get when u wear one attire with ur husband to occasions... The happiness u get when u hear stories from other ladies how they've been dumped after years of dating/courting and so on...

Marriage is an achievement marrying the right person! It mustn't be a perfect person... But jst right!

[s][/s]

standingtall:
hi guys,

I have been dating my fiance for 3 years now. In the beginning everything was cool until recently. About a month ago, I found condoms an, empty pack of condoms in his bag, I confronted him about it and he told me he saw the pack on the floor and he liked the colour of the pack so he picked it up.

I let it go because I didn't want to upset him since he started getting upset.

Fast forward to today, I was looking for change in his bag and this time I found 3 different brands of unused condoms in his bag.

I didn't say anything and I won't say anything. I am hurt and crying inside.I just don't understand what he wants again. I hate him so much right now.

Please my sisters, I need a coping mechanism until am safely far from him. Sorry about my epistle. I needed to let it out.

I don't get this. You find a condom in his bag, u confront him, he gives a flimsy excuse, u probe further u notice he is getting angry you decide to let it go? First question : why?

Second. You find 3 different unused brands of condom in his bag, while searching for "change"? . Hmmm

My verdict: your bf is having sex either with you or someone else. You seem to be dependent on him reason you were satisfied with his sham excuse. You can't deal with such at this time before marriage, my dear whatever you are facing here now will be 3 folds after marriage. Know wat u want. If u can bear him cheating go ahead to the alter. If you can't report this to an elder known to the both of you and let him explain himself.

Marriage is best when there is trust. A word is enough for the bride.

Oliviaarims:

It's a Sunday, indeed...ur sermon's welcomed...did yhu preach this in church 2day?

The sermon is meant for nairaland. Church gets its own for today. Happy sunday to you. Have a blessed week.

yanabasee:


Ofcoz, marriage is an achievement....

How will you feel if in ur family, ur parent begot 6girls and a boy! And out of the 6girls... All of them gt married and live happily?

Aside that...

How will you feel... If you've been dating men and they come to you becoz u're beautiful and not becoz u're worth marrying? And when ur beauty is about to fade out... Gossips wallow around u and somebdy come for ur hand in marriage?

Marriage is an achievement in many ways... The joy of you being addressed as MR&MRS.. The joy of u being treated like an angel by ur husband... The joy u get when u wear one attire with ur husband to occasions... The happiness u get when u hear stories from other ladies how they've been dumped after years of dating/courting and so on...

Marriage is an achievement marrying the right person! It mustn't be a perfect person... But jst right!

A very interesting piece

standingtall:
hi guys,

I have been dating my fiance for 3 years now. In the beginning everything was cool until recently. About a month ago, I found condoms an, empty pack of condoms in his bag, I confronted him about it and he told me he saw the pack on the floor and he liked the colour of the pack so he picked it up.

I let it go because I didn't want to upset him since he started getting upset.

Fast forward to today, I was looking for change in his bag and this time I found 3 different brands of unused condoms in his bag.

I didn't say anything and I won't say anything. I am hurt and crying inside.I just don't understand what he wants again. I hate him so much right now.

Please my sisters, I need a coping mechanism until am safely far from him. Sorry about my epistle. I needed to let it out.

You only need advise from sisters? Trust the brothers to spill it out correctly (albeit with a funny twist or two)!!!

raayah:


Would you stay with your wife if she was shagging random men.?

see u comparing men and women....
u like it or not, a man can have many wives and still seen as normal. A woman with two husbands is unheard. that's the society for you.
even in your religious books, we had men and Kings with several wives but no no no no for the reverse

not an excuse to cheat anyway.....

sunkky83:


Some men can b funny, really really funny. Opportunity indeed. As if marriage is d best thing that can happen to women and dat marriage is not meant for men. Sir pls with due respect, i hv just two questions for u, if u caught another man wt ur wife to be in just a month to ur wedding, as a man will u continue wt d wedding?? If yes, will u still love her d way u should wt out using d marriage to punish her?

It's an opportunity...

Except you haven't seen or heard stories of how beautiful girls get old without getting married... Do you think they never tried to keep a man?

She has the opportunity.... You can as well attest to this fact that... Out of all the men you've had since u began dating, many of them will talk about marriage, but just one will make it real... Do you think, it's easy for a man to take up that decision of marrying? Knowing fully well that he'll be restricted from a lot of things?

To answer your question... Most people don't rush into marriage without knowing the person they want to get married to... What u ask only happen when u meet a girl few months and ask her hands in marriage...,

Firstly, I won't jst meet a girl and ask her to marry me... And I don't go to clubs to seek for clubs girls for marriage and/or harlots from brothels...

Secondly, any girl that still sleep around when a man has come to official declare his intentions or perhaps paid her bride price to marry her in a month's time is a cheat!

Thirdly, comparing a man and woman in that manner will only give u a bitter taste of a single mother.. Coz, in Nigeria, men marry women, not Women marrying men... Although, I'm not using this as a point to support infidelity in men..

And finally, I'll forgive her and still marry her... Then, will talk to her very well, I must have chosen to marry her for more reasons than her being a cheat and I must have known who she was before asking her hand in marriage... Although, you will think there are no men like this...

I wouldn't tell u how many times I've caught my ex gf cheating on me with her ex-guy and I still forgive her and until she told me she wants to break up! I never broke up with her... She did and she came back and it was too late that I was already in a two years relationship...

Pineapp:
1a. He cares about you and is playing safe not to infect you with whatever infection he might be dinning with.

1b. He no wan give the girl belle.



2a. He's cheating and its glaring to you.

2b. If you cant stand it,walk away now that he's just a fiance.



3.... He might have gotten the job of a major distributor for condoms

Your No 3 point spilt my tea... Hahahah Madt guy

Oliviaarims:

When yhu decide to get urself into awkward situations,yhu deal with the consequences.What have yhu got to say bout a grown up man picking condom sachets on d ground and still going ahead to have extra in hz bag knowing fully well hz fiancee is probably suspicious ov him? Fcos,if he wasn't actually using them 4 himself,he'd be more careful bout creating dissensions and suspicions over nufin.

we have all done stoopid things b4. It does not make us a cheat or whatever you choose to tag men


You don't know it's possible he picked it up to check the brand name.



Let me tell you what happened to me, I picked up a pack of cigarettes looking at something on the pack and as someone was approaching I hid it in my pocket so he won't think I'm smoking



2 weeks later the laundry man found it in my pocket and I don't smoke at all

xtervaganza:
we have all done stoopid things b4. It does not make us a cheat or whatever you choose to tag men


You don't know it's possible he picked it up to check the brand name.



Let me tell you what happened to me, I picked up a pack of cigarettes looking at something on the pack and as someone was approaching I hid it in my pocket so he won't think I'm smoking



2 weeks later the laundry man found it in my pocket and I don't smoke at all

I agree things happen...but certain co-incidences are difficult to believe. I'm not the one yhu should be trying to convince bout anyfin,though. Give it a rest.