Late marriage is a situation where a person who has attained maturity in age remains unmarried by choice. This development is becoming the order of the day, and it is worrisome.

Marriage is a mutually agreed union between two people. Married couples are not just united in body and soul, they share bonds in so many ways or in every way; and owe each other marital obligations, including right to have sex and produce children.

As more young women struggle with the reality of late marriage, some are willing to do anything to secure a husband. In the African society, where single women are regarded with disdain, some matured girls in their desperation to bear the title “Mrs;” resort to employing transdental powers to get a husband or entrapping men with pregnancy.

Anna John (not real names) 41, an accountant in a local government said “I have come to accept that some of us will never marry. I can’t count the number of relationships I have been into and all ended up in disaster. I have spent money, visited native doctors to ensure that I get a man that will marry me, I have done all manners of fasting and sown seeds yet to no avail. My mother stopped disturbing me when I got to the age of 40. It is not easy when I meet my classmates and they asked me how many kids I have. Sometimes I lie to some that I am married because of shame. I don’t go out again, two of my younger sisters are married with kids. So I have decided to adopt a baby and train her as my own and stop wasting my time looking for a man that will come and eat my money and run away.”

Another spinster who shared her plight with LEADERSHIP Sundayis Leah Danyil, 47, a banker. She said “I don’t know why some girls believe without marriage, they cannot survive. I used to think so until I came to accept my fate. I used to dream of getting married and living happily ever after with my husband, but when I got to the age of 36 with chains of heartbreaks, I realized that no man is what dying for. I once took poison to kill myself when my ex-fiancé dumped me three weeks to our wedding for a younger girl whose father was a senator. The Bible has told me that, there is no marriage in heaven, so when I am ready, I will adopt or get a baby for somebody I like and live my life to the fullest.”

Mrs.   Margret Dauda, a marriage counsellor with the COCIN Christian denomination has been married for 22years and she said “marriage is a good thing and it was created by God, so it is normal for girls to want to settle down. But it shouldn’t be at the detriment of their dignity and faith. Most of the couples I have counselled, had their marriage on the wrong foundation. It is either the girl tricked the man into marrying or he did it thinking she will hand over her wealth to him. Some girls out of desperation go to native doctors to get love charms. It has worked for some, but I know that has a devastating consequences because the day the charm wears off, the man regains his sense and crises starts in such marriages. Other girls pretend to be what they are not. Some trap the men with pregnancy. One did that and didn’t tell the man she was pregnant until it was four months and then she informed her parents who called the man and today after three kids, they are in crises because the man was not ready for marriage.

“Some will take the man sperm, hair or personal effects to evil alters for incantations, they only work for some times. As much as I am in support of marriage, I don’t think women must do some of the things they do in the name of securing a husband. These things don’t last, the pain is worse than the momentary joy you get of being married. I know a marriage that did not last up to three months here in Abuja, the woman deceived the man that she was pregnant and after the marriage, she lied that she had a miscarriage, they rushed her to the hospital and it was there that they confirmed that, her tubes were blocked and so she could not conceive without them opening the tubes.”

Pastor Ayuba Rindams of Glory Christ Church, Idu, a suburb of Abuja states that “A strong foundation is imperative for a successful marriage and should be settled before one even begins to date or court a potential life mate. The right time for marriage is different for each person and unique to each situation. Maturity levels and life experiences are varying factors; some people are ready for marriage at 18, and some are never prepared for it. Even though marriage is an institution ordained by God himself when he created Adam and Eve, I have discovered in my over 17 years of pastoring that some of the problems of late marriage can be traced, unpreparedness for marriage, ancestral curse, unfaithfulness, asking amiss, demonic oppression, unconfessed sins, materialism, lack of respect for God and man and other things. Marriage is not only a commitment, but a covenant with God. It is the promise to remain with that other person for the remainder of your life, no matter whether your spouse is rich, poor, healthy. A prospective married couple also needs to make sure that they know each other well. They should know each other’s views on marriage, finances, in-laws, child-rearing, discipline, duties of a husband and wife, whether only one of them or both will be working outside the home, and the level of the other person’s spiritual maturity. Every couple considering marriage should go through counseling with a Christian marriage counselor pastor”.

Mallam Abdulaziz Yahaya is also of the opinion that “Everything that happens in the universe happens only by the decree of Allah, so the one who believes must believe that Allah knew all things before they happened, Allah Tells us in Quran, that He made one male and from him the first female and made all people from them. So, be kind to each other and use your attraction to bring your hearts together. If a Muslim cannot marry soon after puberty, then he or she just has two options: temporary abstinence or temporary marriage. The Qur’an says, ‘And those who cannot marry should practice restrain (or abstinence) till Allah enriches them out of His bounty. (24:33).’ However, abstinence from all the forbidden ways of fulfilling the sexual urge is not easy”.

According to a psychologist, Mathew Ubong, some of the reasons why some girls don’t marry early is that, they are focused on your career, they set high standards, they are waiting until all their younger ones get married, some feel one man cannot satisfy them, and some just don’t want to get married. Many others want to be well educated first. There is self-dependency, economic independence, bad past relationships and fear of commitment. A good marriage complements each other, and makes both parties better.

What most young people don’t understand is that, marriage is a journey through life which enhances and enriches the entire community. Married couples tend to have good physical, psychological well-being, and a lower mortality risk. Married women are less likely to fall into poverty. Because marriage brings wealth. Psychologically, married couples have greater sexual satisfaction than singles. Married women also have higher levels of physical and psychological health because they tend to have less job stress, and being married gives them importance. Married women are more likely to live longer, healthier, happier and can recover from illness quicker.

 
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Dah was too long.....

Any Other Thing?

the poster above me..are u married? #funnyNation comedian coming soon!

Its so easy to use the scroll down button.. Dan to actually read a lenghty text with it

try something shorter and ill read. d one wen i dey read for my exams no reach dis one

mirabeldesmond:
try something shorter and ill read. d one wen i dey read for my exams no reach dis one

Let me summarize it for u ... U are single so let's date

When i saw long spinsterhood... I was definitely expecting a long epistle... Nice one though..

Bennyzino:


Let me summarize it for u ... U are single so let's date

single: u are right. searching: u are wrong.

mirabeldesmond:
single: u are right. searching: u are wrong.

Common give it a try.. Didn't say u were

Bennyzino:


Common give it a try.. Didn't say u were

im looking for what to get my sef involved in to fetch me money. im not looking for who to get my self involved with. tnx.

mirabeldesmond:
im looking for what to get my sef involved in to fetch me money. im not looking for who to get my self involved with. tnx.

That's fine .. I want to be part of ur endeavors then

Bennyzino:

That's fine .. I want to be part of ur endeavors then

u are not serious

mirabeldesmond:
u are not serious

You ladies are funny tho.
How else can I be serious

mirabeldesmond:
u are not serious

am just observing!....

Mancity26:
am just observing!....

keep it up

mirabeldesmond:
keep it up

You make sense abeg...

True word