im beginning to think there's a missing link somewhere.
when you say he helped you travel to the UK and you now have your work permit.
what exactly do you mean by that?

my gut feeling is you guys are married and you are yet to get you indefinite leave to remain. could this be the reason you havent dumped him like bad habit?

offtopic -

could the fellow in question go by any of the following aliases adam brody/jack tweed/beat women ?

oyb:

offtopic -

could the fellow in question go by any of the following aliases adam brody/jack tweed/beat women ?

Some part of the story aint revealed yet,
where did you meet this british guy?
what is it you love about him?
can you over the beatings/injuries just to prove to him you aint a gold-digger?
Is his business illegal?
What does he claim your offences are?
Dont you have friends? even where you work?

You know what to do, you just dont wanna do it, decide on something and stand by it.

@ladyT,thanks 4 ur advise,if at all i want to open an online account,i still need d photocopy of my passport  wit my proof of address,am not really bothered about my weekly pay,all i want is peace of mind and 4 my relationship to work out.

Why does he beat you then can you tell us that at least? And be honest.

You're not in a relationship.

@

steve49ja:

Some part of the story aint revealed yet,
where did you meet this british guy?
what is it you love about him?
can you over the beatings/injuries just to prove to him you aint a gold-digger?
Is his business illegal?
What does he claim your offences are?
Dont you have friends? even where you work?

You know what to do, you just dont wanna do it, decide on something and stand by it.

Gbam!

sistawoman:

Nothing is missing. That is how abused women behave.

Hmmmm I guess you are there with them in the UK so you know ALL about their story right?

Yeah I thought so.

Lax75:

@

Gbam!

Hmmmm I guess you are there with them in the UK so you know ALL about their story right?

Yeah I thought so.

No sweetie but i know enough about abuse women. It is the mental abuse that is worse than the physical. and this is how they sound and talk.

iyalode, get on jo

What doesnt she know. Mrs Encyclopedia of relationships. Abeg leave road jor

eti yo e lenu.? get on! 

LadyT:

What doesnt she know. Mrs Encyclopedia of relationships. Abeg leave road jor

You know what i have years on you. I have seen and lived thru lots of shit that i wish i could forget. I read and read and read. I volunteer my time and resources to help misguided youth and woman. I work directly with young women, trying to catch them before they become someones baby mama.

Dont hate me cuz of my knowledge.

Thanks ladies and gentlemen,i dont think i have 2 start giving out my personal details on dis forum.
 

@ sisterwoman,thanks alot for ur understanding and d advise

AmakaOne:

 

Jesus God of Nazareth!!

What kind of advice is this?

For God's Sake, she can leave the guy, but why get the cops involved? Do u know what it means to have a criminal record in this Country? Do u know what it means to have your name on the criminal database that is accessed by european and American nations??
The dude has got u over here, given u a roof over your head and all u do is provoke him (As u rightly used in the initial post!). If u know he beats u up and u dont want to leave him, then why provoke him? If u know what u do that provokes him, then why do it?

That guy is someone's child as well, he has people depending on him back home. . .  A poor mother and some siblings too! If he's disrespecting u, then LEAVE him and move on! Dont ruin somebody else's future and life because u provoke him and he beats u the hell up pls.

If u want to speak with your family, go to a pay phone! They are everywhere, borrow £5 coins and ask your mum or dad to call u instead, give them your mobile number! Involve family if u want, involve friends, but not the cops pls. . .  If thats not an option, buy a £5 call card and use a Land phone at your work place to call naija, it is allowed if u speak with your boss!

whitelexi:

For God's Sake, she can leave the guy, but why get the cops involved? Do u know what it means to have a criminal record in this Country? Do u know what it means to have your name on the criminal database that is accessed by european and American nations??
The dude has got u over here, given u a roof over your head and all u do is provoke him (As u rightly used in the initial post!). If u know he beats u up and u dont want to leave him, then why provoke him? If u know what u do that provokes him, then why do it?

Rofl

This una cock and bull story, I'm sure Seun is paying these people.

Do u know what it means to have a criminal record in this Country?

He is a criminal and therefore deserves to have a criminal record.  That's what it's for!

You get time trying to explain it to him. Im too busy laughing

Seun:

He is a criminal and therefore deserves to have a criminal record.  That's what it's for!

hmmmmmmmmm

ThiefOfHearts:

You get time trying to explain it to him. Im too busy laughing

While you are at it laughing , do you mind releasing the guy dancing and falling on the thread-mill, we don see that one enough , haba

Wetin be this provocation?   Change the channel to AIT Movistar when he wants to watch SkySports?  

This lady's original post and responses are classic battered woman's views.  Please dear, do whatever you can to save your life!  It is okay to love someone, but not to the point that you are willing to lose your own life in the process.  If the man beats you to death, what love will either of you have?  I would call the cops in and I would leave him.  Tell them he has your passport and stay in a battered women's shelter until you can get your own place.  Please know there is nothing that you can do to "provoke" him enough to warrant this type of beating.  

If the man goes to jail over his atrocities to you, that is not your problem.  His behavior toward you caused this and not anything you did.  Please stop blaming yourself.  You can never be good enough or love him enough to change him.  You can only change yourself and you realize your value and worth to yourself first and not to him.  You are worthy of so much more than to be beaten day and night!  Please dear, work out an escape plan so that your parents won't have to bury you before time.

@ london4play,what do u mean by cook and bull story?anyway i know what am going thru dats why i decided 2 seek advise frm people i dont know becos i cant be disclosing my problem to people at work becos i dont want people to start discussing about me.i had no intention of involving d cops becos of his CRB,all i want is 4 things to work out btw us,becos i love him,he has really done alot for me,monetry wise.

wtf is CRB?

You will end up like the Naija women in Austria that was buried by her husband and her parents never knew til years later.

At leats on your tombstone they can discuss how grateful you were

@Lizzy ''Fabulist'' A

Wetin be the provocation? Every time we ask you for details, you come back with a silly reply.

4 Play:

Wetin be this provocation?   Change the channel to AIT Movistar when he wants to watch SkySports?  

Not to worry, she won't be able to do that after 12th May, you need a subscription for it then.  

She is definitely abused, to the extent that she's defending her abuser. This is what you sometimes get when you mut travel by force.  

I am sure she has no friends, no one to talk to and completely helpless without him. My advice is to start to build other relationships - friends, acquaintances outside of this man. Do that and build up your self esteem as quickly as possible then LEAVE him. Currently you are too dependent on him to do anything else.

Very sad story - I am sure her folks and siblings are all in naija and maybe getting money from the guy. They might not even be supportive of her leaving him since he is their ticket abroad.  

Lizzy A, you are best ignoring everyone's advise and do exactly what you want to do.

he who wears the tight-fitting shoes knows where it hurts

debosky:



Not to worry, she won't be able to do that after 12th May, you need a subscription for it then.  

Jehovah Jireh! The Lord has answered my prayers.  

I don't believe this story one bit.

If her name was Kadajait the akata, 4Play would be helpful

Imagine a guy dat took me away frm poverty,when i couldnt afford to pay my school fees back then in nigeria,i just pray things will work out for good,i have seen what they call poverty dats why am still very grateful 2 him to dis day but i have no choice but 2 move on,atleast i can be justified 4 leaving him

@ poster
You have the chance to get out now unhurt, partly damaged emotionally. I hope he allows you watch Sky News cos if he does, one of today's main news is about physical abuse in a relationship albeit the other way round (the man was the one getting beat up).
I understand you love him and probably want things to work out but if you keep staying with him despite the fact that you have turned his punching bag he will only continue as he already sees you as someone outrightly weak.
Maybe you should do a trial seperation. You don't have to tell him before you move out as he might talk/scare you to staying put.

Are you afraid of being able to stand on your own 2 feet?

@ 4play,dats ur bleeping business if u dont believe,i own u no explanation :-Xi have gotten d necessary advise frm inteligent people dat responded to my plight.