Op if he has sat her down and explained to her that he finds it hard to pay for everything and it's affecting the moving forward of the family ie:- capital intensive stuff like land etc . If she refuses to change then he needs to discuss it with her parents. Take direct action. Stop paying for creche. Tell her you cannot afford it she has to pay for it.. No more cleaner and washer man. They do house chores together . Don't give her any money for herself.

Rukkydelta:
Please what is the duty of a husband ?

So a husband should provide everything what is the useless wife there for*why you so backward and senseless

Jimdonnet:



So a husband should provide everything what is the useless wife there for*why you so backward and senseless

Yes provide everything. Sheybi u men are the 'head' na. Abi na 4 mouth?

Saylawchar:



My friend told me that he even employed someone that comes to the house and washes their clothes on weekends including the wife clothes and the baby's clothes. He also employed a cleaner that comes home every weekend to clean the house. That the wife claims she doesn't have the strength to be doing both considering her work schedule and she wakes up 5am to bath for the son and get him prepared for creche. My friend further said the wife doesn't make him breakfast nor keep food for him to eat. He cooks for himself most times.

Oh my Lord!!! If this is true then that woman is just....

Well! I aint married so But if I'm related to him I woulda asked him to stop providing for her personal needs. But don't take me seriously oh...

Has your friend sat her down and had a chat with his wife??
My policy is always be as open as possible in marriage & always communicate because some people need to be told certain things before they grab it. So if something is not going the way you expect, call her/him and discuss it in depth. They may have thier reasons or not even be aware of what they are doing damaging the marriage.

A lot of things that people do as adults were imprinted in them when they were growing up and they think its the right way of doing things.
Some women are like that and expect the husband to do everything.
If she had married one of these mega super rich nairalanders, who always beat their chests and say they wont spend a penny of their wives salary, then 2 ge 4 and there wont be any issue.

They both need to go back to the drawing board and chart out something that will benefit then BOTH. This is not a divorce issue.

Personally I dont know how you can love someone and watch that person slave away 24/7 and you put all your burden on that same person and be comfortable about it be it finance or house chores.

bukatyne:


I thought the wife in the OP was a model wife to you?

no way is she a model wife to me.
a model wife brings something to the table. the wife in the OP is a certified liability!

He should carry his cross and shattap.
Next time invest in a condom,spend less time having se x and more time speaking and investigating the person you plan to marry,also checking out the family she's from.
She cant have changed overnight,he just was blinded by se x.Then married her out of obligation due to pregnancy,i bet eerything she does wrong will be exaggerated in his eyes.
Too late to do anything.
He should get on his knees and pray for change.

Now your opportunity to prove you are the head, you want to share bills.

When time come to cook and clean you go balance for chair waiting for the tail to cook and dish food fast while watching "shampionsleague"

Abeg be a man and take care of your responsibility jare.
Abi you no be alpha man again?

Saylawchar:



My friend told me that he even employed someone that comes to the house and washes their clothes on weekends including the wife clothes and the baby's clothes. He also employed a cleaner that comes home every weekend to clean the house. That the wife claims she doesn't have the strength to be doing both considering her work schedule and she wakes up 5am to bath for the son and get him prepared for creche. My friend further said the wife doesn't make him breakfast nor keep food for him to eat. He cooks for himself most times.

Your friend should make he resign the job. She's useless to him. Otherwise, he suould be free to take another wife

Adaeze003:


Oh my Lord!!! If this is true then that woman is just....

Well! I aint married so But if I'm related to him I woulda asked him to stop providing for her personal needs. But don't take me seriously oh...

A husband should be proud to provide for his family, as a wife should be to care for her home. He's fulfilling his own end of the bargain, she should do same or face consequences.

At times I wonder how full grown men got themselves into this kind of situation. I'm pretty sure your friend was actually in haste to get married, hence this situation. What happen to knowing the lady in question before tying the knot? Either pregnant or not. No lady, I repeat No lady should tie a man down cos of pregnancy. Men do your background check. Marriage is a different ball game. Well, it has happened all he needs to do is to sit her down and talk about it. I don't advocate for divorce. Better still get the family involve into the situation. Or he reduces what he spend in taken care of the home, and the wife should also share part of it.

coogar:


the husband has never used illness/sickness not to contribute financially to the family. why should the wife hide behind illness to avoid responsibility?

if she's really sick then she should call her mother to stand in for her while she's recuperating. the house must be squeaky clean at all times.

I'd rather she call the em em , sexy younger voluptuous sister or cousin.

Joy1706:

Yes provide everything. Sheybi u men are the 'head' na. Abi na 4 mouth?

help me ask the guy

Can a wife like this exist ? Am not sure

Chillis:

Now your opportunity to prove you are the head, you want to share bills.

When time come to cook and clean you go balance for chair waiting for the tail to cook and dish food [size=18pt]fast[/size] while watching "shampionsleague"

Abeg be a man and take care of your responsibility jare.
Abi you no be alpha man again?

Timbuktou:



A husband should be proud to provide for his family, as a wife should be to care for her home. He's fulfilling hi an end of the bargain, she should do same or face consequences.

Yeah but when she works and is contributing nothing at all, he's even paying the house workers, he cooks for himself... she's practically just existing in the house.

And probably it's putting a strain in his pocket that's why he's complaining.

Oh well... what do I know.

Adaeze003:


Yeah but when she works and is contributing nothing at all, he's even paying the house workers, he cooks for himself... she's practically just existing in the house.

And probably it's putting a strain in his pocket that's why he's complaining.

Oh well... what do I know.

Which is why i said she should be proud of caring for her home, and in an earlier comment I advised that he make her resign. I think the guy only feels bad because she's not fulfilling her own end of the bargain; wifely duties. And i can bet bottom dollar that guy isnt getting any sex, which would most likely be the straw that has broken the camel's back.

May be she's spending her money on her boyfriend.

For once I'm behind you.

coogar:


he should continue with the marriage & he must make sure the relationship is symbiotic instead of the parasitic relationship your friend seems to be having. your friend should go back to the tactics board......

he's a man & he should be proud that he can provide for his wife & family. since the woman isn't bringing any bacon home at all, she must contribute in the form of domestic service.

washing, cooking, ironing, etc must be the exclusive preserve of the wife. illness or tiredness isn't an excuse. she must be available at all times to contribute her quota to the family.

Saylawchar:



My friend told me that he even employed someone that comes to the house and washes their clothes on weekends including the wife clothes and the baby's clothes. He also employed a cleaner that comes home every weekend to clean the house. That the wife claims she doesn't have the strength to be doing both considering her work schedule and she wakes up 5am to bath for the son and get him prepared for creche. My friend further said the wife doesn't make him breakfast nor keep food for him to eat. He cooks for himself most times.

Then ur frd is a married bachelor. Who does dat? ur frd has no influence in his home walahi

Rukkydelta:
Please what is the duty of a husband ?

First tell me the duties of a wife. You shout women equality with men, yet men must provide everything needed in the union.

Try convince her ,maybe she no know. Like i always tell women, they are meant to be a help Meet. Any woman who fails to do so, has fail as a mother and a wife. She MUST Pay her own quota to the family. The man owns 60 percent, the woman 40.

If it will be cheaper for their family for her to be a housewife, then they need to discuss on her resignation.
What's the purpose of working and nor being able to meet any of your needs?
At least if she's a full time housewife, the money for creche, cleaner, washerman will be saved towards something else.
He needs to have a heart to heart discussion with her and something has to give. She either takes care of payment for creche, house cleaner and washerman or she resigns to do it herself.
Nobody was born to serve their spouse all their lives.
All this stress usually tells on the physical body...

Saylawchar:
A very close friend came to my house today and discussed this with me.... He said he met his wife sometimes July, 2013 and after few weeks, he impregnated her and this led to Introduction ceremony which was held late September same year. Hence the wife works with one of these new generation banks as TSR (Teller) while my friend is a federal civil servant.

They had their wedding early December same year. Immediately the wife moved in, my friend said he started noticing strange things like change in attitude, most of the things she once told my friend about herself and family background before their marriage were lies.

Be informed that my friend single handedly sponsored their intro and the wedding proper in which he spent millions because the wife claimed she is into contribution (Ajo) as a result of which she doesnt has anything left from her monthly take home.

Between when they met and now, my friend said he doesn't know how the wife spends her salary because all she keeps saying is her money goes to monthly contribution and she has never brought a penny home being the proceed of the contribution since they met. My friend said he is the one running the expenses of their home as the wife doesn't support him. In addition, they have a son now who is 18 months old.

The question is should my friend continue with this marriage or file for divorce considering the fact that the wife doesn't support him even buying of baby's food and paying of house rent and creche money and other family expenses, the wife doesn't support him at all. What can he do please?

He should ask his wife when is it her turn to collect Ajo, then tell her to bring the money so they can use from it together. If she refuses then he knows he has married a selfish wife.

If this is the only complaint against the woman I do not think it is enough grounds for divorce. Other women have worse habits. If he wants her to contribute in the finances of the family, he should let her know she shouldn't put in all of her salary when the next round of Ajo begins. They should both mutually agree on how much she is contributing next time.