My name is titi,I got married to my husband 2012,since den have b facing 1 assault to d other.during my pregnancy,he will beat me and make me sleep outside!I eventually gave birth to baby boy but instead of him b happy,he was sad dat d boy look so much like me,I tot it was joke,wit tym he kept saying it...wen d child was 6month he ask me to take him to greet my parent unknowing to me dat it was a plan well drafted..since then have b in my parent,I have no job,d little business I do is not enuf for me and my son..I have ask him for divorce,but he is not ready to give,pls help me,am dieing slowly..am sorry for any error,am typing wit anger,pains and tears

waiting for odas tu comment

I think your life is more important.. Stay away from him for a while and pray

You should stay away from him for a while. God will make way for you and your son. He'll come begging soon

lolu007:
I think your life is more important.. Stay away from him for a while and pray

Thank u so much,I have b praying but my heart is heavy,I feel so hurt

Obinovictor:
You should stay away from him for a while. God will make way for you and your son. He'll come begging soon

Thanx 4d advice,I will try n do dat

2teezy:

Thank u so much,I have b praying but my heart is heavy,I feel so hurt

You are welcome.. You can also vist a marriage councelor or your spiritual leader like your pastor

Let him know he has to make a choice if he wants the marriage or otherwise. Whichever one he chooses, you both need a serious discussion and if you are still going to be married to him, you need to have him sign an undertaking never to abuse you physically again.

Little advice..who asks for divorce nowadays i belive u have a broda if not u may have a family member who is a male d next tym u see him pour hotwater on him promise he will neva near u again and sumday he will cum begging..anyways i might be speakin from little experience cus i'm just 18 but if any man dares to raise his hands on my sista if na hear or see i see am dat man i sorry 4 wetin i go take he eyes see he no go forget am for a life tym.
Cus i no go evr raise hand on my wife.but i fit raise hand for any girl.

The love isn't there anymore.
Maybe some ladies out there have given him vegetables.

He divorce you or not, in this present situation, just stay away from him and I pray God should provide for u to take care of yourself and your son

Do you need his permission to divorce?

Abi i no understand this again o

Just be strong for your boy and get ready to make it with or without that wife beater. May God heal you, strengthen you and provide a better job for you.

Aaww I feel sorry for u..why don't u ask help for a public attorney who can help u or guide u how to process everything in legal..juz file a divorce anyway if ur husband don't want to do it than u suffer from this kind of maltreatment...

Sorry@op...that z just the reality.forget about prayin for him,it wont change anything.instead pray for you n your son for Gods protection.you shud be thankful for the temporary separation,it wont be eazy,but you'll pull tru.

2teezy:
My name is titi,I got married to my husband 2012,since den have b facing 1 assault to d other.during my pregnancy,he will beat me and make me sleep outside!I eventually gave birth to baby boy but instead of him b happy,he was sad dat d boy look so much like me,I tot it was joke,wit tym he kept saying it...wen d child was 6month he ask me to take him to greet my parent unknowing to me dat it was a plan well drafted..since then have b in my parent,I have no job,d little business I do is not enuf for me and my son..I have ask him for divorce,but he is not ready to give,pls help me,am dieing slowly..am sorry for any error,am typing wit anger,pains and tears

people react to stress and frustration in various ways. It is obvious that your manb isn't okay financially. I will suggest you give him some space and you try to get your own feet on ground. Try and see if you can get a job or something.

@OP the earlier u initiate divorce the better, call a lawyer or ask 4 a lawyer to help and let them force him for divorce and after that then u start ur life all over again, be determine and clear ur head of any negative thought and u will make it. "my preference to you is GENEVIEVE, remember she had a daughter but she worked hard and now she is balling with her daughter. "u dont need a man to succeed.

The earlier you live your life for your child the better for you. Most women rush into marriage thinking is a bailout from boredom, financial status, peer/family pressure etc.. Get a lawyer and you're good.

Divorce him in your mind and concentrate on yourself and baby..
Its possible you don't have money for lawyers and many waka

Hmnn

Its good you are already staying away from him. In all, your life is more important than marriage. So don't worry yourself with divorce or no divorce.
Its best that you try and condition your mind to focus on making your life better and training up your boy. I also know that God also has the power to change any man, no matter how wicked he may be. So don't stop praying about it.

2teezy:
My name is titi,I got married to my husband 2012,since den have b facing 1 assault to d other.during my pregnancy,he will beat me and make me sleep outside!I eventually gave birth to baby boy but instead of him b happy,he was sad dat d boy look so much like me,I tot it was joke,wit tym he kept saying it...wen d child was 6month he ask me to take him to greet my parent unknowing to me dat it was a plan well drafted..since then have b in my parent,I have no job,d little business I do is not enuf for me and my son..I have ask him for divorce,but he is not ready to give,pls help me,am dieing slowly..am sorry for any error,am typing wit anger,pains and tears

Madam, I hate to break it to you, but you are already divorced. It's just not legalized yet.

I honestly do not know why you are pushing for a divorce anyways, what difference does it make to you right now?

Your husband has abandoned you and your child, and asking for a divorce is only creating an avenue for him to hurt you more. I know you desperately want to hold onto him and your marriage, but right now you need to let him go!

It's a good thing you are out of his house, at least he can no longer hurt you physically.

Right now, you need to concentrate on raising your child, providing for him and taking care of both of you. Nobody will do this for you, not your husband. If and when you are ready for divorce, you can initiate the process yourself, it doesn't have to be from him.

But please try and build your self esteem and confidence before you jump into any other relationship. Remember you now have a child and it is no longer just about you.

Men will want to take advantage of you, seeing you are a single mum with little or no income. It may not be easy, but now is the time to re-discover yourself. Don't allow any man to distract you. Leave divorce for now and focus on yourself and your child!

You are one of those desperate women who cling to dear life to men who don't love you. Who think being a woman entitles you to fold your arms and wait to be provided for.

Madam your husband has left you, you should have even left before he kicked you out. Go and get a job and quit whinning abeg, provide for your son before you havw money for divorce proceedings, it takes 2 years after separation to finalise a divorce.

Women stop abeg, men are not atm machines. Even if it is pure water sell and do something with your life mbok

Sorry about this

I think you are in the right place. No matter what, assault should never be excused. The guy already showed you out in many ways until he stylishly returned you to your parent. Please, don't begin to waste money you ought to use on yourself on divorce. Try to revamp...get your act together without giving him much thought. Stories like this really have a way of calming my time noting where marriage is concern. The Lord will strengthen you. Time will heal and direct you.

Eketem:
You are one of those desperate women who cling to dear life to men who don't love you. Who think being a woman entitles you to fold your arms and wait to be provided for.

Madam your husband has left you, you should have even left before he kicked you out. Go and get a job and quit whinning abeg, provide for your son before you havw money for divorce proceedings, it takes 2 years after separation to finalise a divorce.

Women stop abeg, men are not atm machines. Even if it is pure water sell and do something with your life mbok

Well thanx a lot but u shld have asked if I was after his money?no I was not!I was well to do wen I got married to him,desperate is meant for dos wo tik dey old n disturbed by peer pressure!I married him cos I loved him and he neva for once beat me while courting!!

Ujoan:


Madam, I hate to break it to you, but you are already divorced. It's just not legalized yet.

I honestly do not know why you are pushing for a divorce anyways, what difference does it make to you right now?

Your husband has abandoned you and your child, and asking for a divorce is only creating an avenue for him to hurt you more. I know you desperately want to hold onto him and your marriage, but right now you need to let him go!

It's a good thing you are out of his house, at least he can no longer hurt you physically.

Right now, you need to concentrate on raising your child, providing for him and taking care of both of you. Nobody will do this for you, not your husband. If and when you are ready for divorce, you can initiate the process yourself, it doesn't have to be from him.

But please try and build your self esteem and confidence before you jump into any other relationship. Remember you now have a child and it is no longer just about you.

Men will want to take advantage of you, seeing you are a single mum with little or no income. It may not be easy, but now is the time to re-discover yourself. Don't allow any man to distract you. Leave divorce for now and focus on yourself and your child!

this is d advice you need. the man doesn't love you (that's d only reason a person will be angry wen his/her child resembles the spouse) and you have no reason to wish to return to a violent marriage. This is time to love yourself and put your energy into things that bring you fulfillment. Don't keep hurting, you have to let go and live the life you deserve.

Ujoan:


Madam, I hate to break it to you, but you are already divorced. It's just not legalized yet.

I honestly do not know why you are pushing for a divorce anyways, what difference does it make to you right now?

Your husband has abandoned you and your child, and asking for a divorce is only creating an avenue for him to hurt you more. I know you desperately want to hold onto him and your marriage, but right now you need to let him go!

It's a good thing you are out of his house, at least he can no longer hurt you physically.

Right now, you need to concentrate on raising your child, providing for him and taking care of both of you. Nobody will do this for you, not your husband. If and when you are ready for divorce, you can initiate the process yourself, it doesn't have to be from him.

But please try and build your self esteem and confidence before you jump into any other relationship. Remember you now have a child and it is no longer just about you.

Men will want to take advantage of you, seeing you are a single mum with little or no income. It may not be easy, but now is the time to re-discover yourself. Don't allow any man to distract you. Leave divorce for now and focus on yourself and your child!

Not adding nothing
If you still go to him after this asking for a divorce
You are stupid
Face reality
Pick yourself up
Discover yourself
Look for a source of income
Your son is your number 1, get him everything he needs
Provide for him and watch him come back, I know we women are soft, you will still go back
You prefer that Mrs while he beats and kicks the hell outta you

2teezy:

Well thanx a lot but u shld have asked if I was after his money?no I was not!I was well to do wen I got married to him,desperate is meant for dos wo tik dey old n disturbed by peer pressure!I married him cos I loved him and he neva for once beat me while courting!!

Well if you are not desperate you would not wait for an abusive man to kick you out.

Anyway I wish you well

Yes but she still needs to make the divorce official so as to move on with her life.

OP maybe not now that you're still fighting to get by. First Find your feet financially then serve him the papers.
Him returning you to your parents house but refusing to grant you official divorce is his wicked way of keeping you out of his life and at the same time making it difficult for you to move on.
Don't give him that satisfaction.

You don't know what you want, if you know,you won't be searching for pity on nairaland

I know you are hurt but divorce shouldn't be the first option.I don't know how you two meant that makes him to doubt the perternity of your child and i hope it is not force marriage base on you getting pregnant for him.I would advise you to put your husband n child in prayer,he just might not be ready to be a father,or might be going through pressures he is unable to cope with,perhaps the reason he send you to your parent so he does not transfer is aggression on you.First learn to love yourself and learn to forgive him and try get a job,but most importantly pray against external forces that might be influencing him.Some people have been married 30 years no issue,they didn't seek divorce..cheers

Even though we know abuse is inevitable whether you're gainfully employed & financially independence or NOT.

STILL is highly recommended for a Lady to have something going for her (employment/business) in her matrimonial home.

Though a hard pill to swallow, but truth is PEOPLE DO CHANGE.

@2teezy aka Madam Titi, I seldom advice people in situation like yours because couples matter is hard to intervene , before you know it, they're back in bed together and expecting another baby, then making outsiders look like a home wrecker.

but since he's achieved his wish by sending you back to your parents without any reason or previous argument (according to you. ( because you didn't touch base with what lead to that or he just woke up one day and tricked you out of his life?) . And you've talked to his people and no yielding result, then the next step is to stop wallowing, dust yourself up, secure yourself a job and work towards getting your own private place for yourself and your son , as a starting point of another life chapter.

You have have to move on madam. Life's too short.