Will you lie for a cheating friend to cover his/her tracks?

Why can’t this friend settle for only her husband?

Dear Bunmi,

Joke and I have been friends right from our secondary school days. Despite the fact that she has always been on the flighty side, we get on well and have always been there for each other through thick and thin. She got married right after we finished secondary school about sixteen years ago when she got pregnant for one of her boyfriends.

But marriage has not dampened her enthusiasm for men. She has had so many affairs that a lot of our friends are suspicious of the paternity of her three children. In spite of the fact that I am now married to a man I adore and have a son, she still believes I must always be there to cover up for her when she goes on one of her popular and frequent dates. My husband almost got on to what was going on when her husband phoned the house last month to find out where she kept some documents he needed.

My husband told him Joke wasn’t with us but I quickly took the phone from him to lie to Joke’s husband that she popped out to get a few things at the shop and that she would call her husband as soon as she came in. I then called the lover’s mobile phone, when my husband was changing, to ask her to rush down to my place. I had to lie to my husband that we were trying to get Joke’s husband a surprise present for his birthday. Tedious, don’t you think?

I love my friend but I would rather have nothing to do with the way she chooses to live her life. I’ve warned her about the danger of too many sexual partners, but it is obvious she loves living on the edge.

Mabel,

By e-mail

Dear Mabel,

Friendship should not be stretched to the limit where you have to fear for your own marriage. She might be a good friend but her behaviour is not exactly endearing her to your family, since she has bluntly refused to listen to sound advice from you, I suggest you tell her you would rather not get involved with her affairs and tell her strongly how your husband feels about extra-marital affairs. For good measure, tell her that your husband has threatened to tell her husband if he got a whiff of another escapade of hers.

If this does not put paid to her getting you involved in her philandering, then you should think seriously of drastically reducing your contact with her.
http://odili.net/news/source/2009/may/20/305.html

YES, I dont want to run my mouth.

I can cover up for her to a certain level. . .but when marriage is involved. . .ain't getting myself invovled in any shit. . . I would tell her to cover up her trails herself. . .

Nope. It would only encourage the bad habit.

This woman is a real moooooooooooooooooo. It is only a matter of time before her husband will start thinking that she is just like her friend. How can you tell a lie for a cheat in front of your husband. I don't even expect my husband to have a close friend that cheats on his wife. We have one friend that cheats but we are not close to him and we encourage his wife to come around with their child. I don't know why a woman that has peace in her home will want to involve herself in her friends stupdity

I can cover up for her to a certain level. . .but when marriage is involved. . .ain't getting myself invovled in any shit. . . I would tell her to cover up her trails herself. . .

Which level is that? Boyfriend/girlfriend level?

YES, I dont want to run my mouth.

Not necessarily running your mouth. What if your friend lied to her husband that she's in your house and her husband later call your phone to verify, what will you tell him since your friend is not in your house?

This woman is a real moooooooooooooooooo. It is only a matter of time before her husband will start thinking that she is just like her friend. How can you tell a lie for a cheat in front of your husband

Her thoughts:

I had to lie to my husband that we were trying to get Joke’s husband a surprise present for his birthday. Tedious, don’t you think?

She thinks her husband is stupid enough to believe that story.

Nope, i'd rather decline making any comments.

i won't lie to cover up for anyone - because i think it is wrong tio cheat - if you are tires of your current relationship say so and move on

if i don't know then that is fine - if i am not asked - i won;t say anything to their partner - but IF I KNOW, AND IF I AM ASKED - I WILL EITHER SAY ASK YOUR WIFE/GF OR OR I WILL SAY THE TRUTH

i'd hate to be the one cheated on, and ppl lying to me - so y do it to anyoen else?

Aloy.Emeka:

Which level is that? Boyfriend/girlfriend level?

yup!

its a hard one. sometimes u might not want to encourage it but some frineds are so needy and your heart goes out to help them just because you dont want your friedns relationship or marraiage to be ruined and you wish her well. afterall she is your frnd. but if that kinda scenario happens that my sussy is involved i might do it at that moment and tell my husband after hanging up at least i know he will talk me out of helping her. sometimes in those sorts of situation you need someone else to intervene and bring u back to your senses.

its a hard one. sometimes u might not want to encourage it but some frineds are so needy and your heart goes out to help them just because you dont want your friedns relationship or marraiage to be ruined and you wish her well. afterall she is your frnd. but if that kinda scenario happens that my sussy is involved i might do it at that moment and tell my husband after hanging up at least i know he will talk me out of helping her. sometimes in those sorts of situation you need someone else to intervene and bring u back to your senses.

You are crying more than the bereaved. If your friend is concerned at all about her relationship, let her stop cheating.

Aloy.Emeka:

Not necessarily running your mouth. What if your friend lied to her husband that she's in your house and her husband later call your phone to verify, what will you tell him since your friend is not in your house?

I will tell him that she is here but in the bathroom or went out to by something n will return later.

I will tell him that she is here but in the bathroom or went out to by something n will return later.

In front of your husband?

No: If I cover up for my friend before his partner, how about before God where he supposedly took his marital vows?

Aloy.Emeka:

In front of your husband?

YES, It is not his business!!

SeanT21:

YES, It is not his business!!

His wife is telling lies and its not his business? 
What comes next when he starts to suspect you of similar behavior?
Am sure you know what they say about birds of a feather

i think let your husband know wat is going on before its to late,cos if he finds gets to out he will also think your cheating on him.your husband is your 2nd half and i think he sould know before you also put yourself in trouble.try advicing your friend again and if she refuses to change then give her a little distance,and tell her to stop using you to lie.
if you keep covering for her,then your husband will think your encouraging her to cheat on her husband and your also capable of cheating on him.
well the ball is in your court,you decide whatb you want.

@post
I won't say anything because i'll try to avoid that kind of situation where i'll have to lie. Besides, if my friend refuses to change, y continue with him in the first place?

@biina
Don't mind her, she prolly would do something like that and if that's the case, she prolly has someone to lie for her.

No

I will just for a round or two?

I'm sorry but No, not at the level of marriage especially.

If he calls my place to verify she is here with me, I will simply say ' brodda, we are in the the middle of something urgent, we will call you right back'. Then I will place a call to this cheating swine of a friend and tell her, 'please can you juggle your extra marital activities and leave me out of it. I do not want your Husband calling me to confirm your wherebouts as if I'm your keeper'. From then, I will refuse to answer my phone. simple.

Wont get involved ; if you did and they got past that then where do you stand?
How awkward!!!!!!

Actually a friend once said he would tell his wife he was with me incase she called; we almost fought.
I am strictly a one-woman person and cheats make me literally sick.(why cant people settle with who they really,really fancy? ? ? ? ).
GUYS IF IT'S NOT WORKING OUT OR YOU'RE NOT THAT INTO HER THEN END IT RATHER THAN TURNING INTO A DOG.
i think a cheat is like a liar and a thief; they can do anything (if you think about it)

Actually a friend once said he would tell his wife he was with me incase she called; we almost fought.
I am strictly a one-woman person and cheats make me literally sick.(why cant people settle with who they really,really fancy? ? ? ? ).
GUYS IF IT'S NOT WORKING OUT OR YOU'RE NOT THAT INTO HER THEN END IT RATHER THAN TURNING INTO A DOG.
i think a cheat is like a liar and a thief; they can do anything (if you think about it)

Hia hia. Odikwa serious 

Lie? No. I would just simply choose not to involve myself in their personal business.

Saying no at the moment, but you honestly don't know what the future holds.

I will just be indifferent till her sin catches up with her.

yeah i will
i just have to even if am not in surport of it

Dunno how to put it, I wouldnt lie. But I have been caught in a very delicate situation that I approached in a different manner. Here goes the story,

After losing my job, I rejoined my former law firm courtesy of a friend, as a temporary worker. Unfortunately, things were not working out so well there as the new office manager was not keen on rehiring me, though my friend, who brought me back as a temp wanted me to stay onboard. Then, all of a sudden, this guy got fired! I was perplexed and then blamed it on the woman's 'racist' attitude towards blacks. Eventually, rumors started circulating in the firm that this acquaintance who had hired me had sexually harrased another temporary worker in the firm. I dont really know the full gist of the story, but they may be an element of truth to it. Infact, another guy told me that our presence may be required in court should the girl file suit against my friend.

I left the firm and thought that was the end of the saga. But out of the blues, my friend's wife (I mean, we were not really friends though) called me from the blues and left a message. Upon returning her call, I inquired of her husband and she told me that he travelled to their home country. Then the woman quizzed me on why the husband was sacked. I told her that the office manager was a pain in the neck so, that may have led to his termination. And then his wife asked me questions about the other female temp (without mentioning the allegations of the sexual harrasment levelled against her husband) but my lips did not utter any rumor of the sexual harrasment allegations against the husband. I only blamed the incident on the office manager. I dont know if the firm was ever sued or not.

Now, coming to this story, I do have to ask myself, "Did I lie by not telling her about the allegations, or was I right in sealing my lips"?

My friends know me. . . . they know they can't use me like that.

Simple as ABC

lying for her means ur encouraging her waywardness which is sad, really sad
when her husband & your husband finds out whats going on & they will, how do you want them to feel
ofcourse your husband would prolly loose his trust for you & will always wonder if your in on the game too.
dont wreck your marriage cos of a friend who's bent on wrecking hers