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Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry - Romance - Nairaland

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Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 4:35pm On Nov 22, 2015
This question, time and time again has attempted a comparison between marriages of old and marriages of today. The 21st century marriage, all thanks to Hollywood and it's peers has encouraged a marriage based on your love for the individual, our parents and people before them who likely where victims of arranged marriages were more likely bound by loving whom they married. it's now begets the question I posed as the topic of this thread, which proposition makes the most sense, which has better longevity with propensity for crisis resolution. The high rate of divorce in the western world which we Africans have copied has indicated that a marriage based on the love you felt at the onset of marriage, begets most likely a marriage of convenience. Most of these marriages begin to crumble if not fail entirely once life's marital issues and challenges arise. It brings to bear the statement that love is blind but marriage being an eye opener. Most feelings of love never last as time elapses, most attractions wane as age catches up to the partners and they become less attractive. I blame this type of marriage for the present decadence in marriages around the globe. But could a marriage entirely based on loving whomever you married be the solution? I disagree too because as times have changed so also has human tastes evolved. To love whom you have married will always be an easier task If you initially found such person lovable. Nobody can except me for example to love and be faithful to a woman without a big bottom no matter how good she might be. I believe the two approaches are to work I tandem where the initial attraction should be automatic while the love whom you marry be manual. This means that you must let ur heart decide whom it loves, whom it finds compatible, whom it beats the fastest for and after you have done that, marry such a person based on your convictions and decisions. Immediately after your marriage cones the manual part. the part you have to do whether you like it, feel it or even desire it. You must love whom you have married and treat him or her as thy self. You must love them in sickness, in ugliness, in pain, in suffering, in wealth, in poverty. You must love them and respect them. Most marriages fail because people become lazy to do the manual part, they assume the automatic part based only on feelings of love will be enough. That error being pointed out, this thus goes out to young searching singles, seek companions and partners not just based on your love for him or her but also on your ability to love this person irrespective of time, fortunes and scenario. I do hope that application of this principle of responsibility by both single and married people wil one day help ameliorate the decadence in the marriage sham
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 4:36pm On Nov 22, 2015
Am lost
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Cutehector(m): 4:38pm On Nov 22, 2015
Economy is bad bro. Love whom u marry. grin

3 Likes

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by fabulous660(m): 4:39pm On Nov 22, 2015
Hey all u need kw is dat "Love is all that matters"

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 4:40pm On Nov 22, 2015
Love who u marry, yeah.

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Blakjewelry(m): 4:41pm On Nov 22, 2015
Marry whom you love, or you might just make Frontpage here on nairaland or some news headline for weird news

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 4:43pm On Nov 22, 2015
Eeeehnnnn? OP, repetior abeggrin

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by IamLEGEND1: 4:43pm On Nov 22, 2015
ain't got time to read that long chapter.....
but I'll say this though- marry whom you love and love whom you marry.
I know I'm not making any sense......but don't question me nonetheless.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 4:51pm On Nov 22, 2015
MrsPhyno:
Love who u marry, yeah.

You don't marry someone and then start developing love for them after the marriage, such marriage will just be a burden and a constant struggle to love and earn love.

I am of the opinion you marry who you love. Marriage should be meant for two people who love, understand and are compatible with each other.

When you marry someone you love and that you are certain loves you too, when trials and circumstances arise that threaten your relationship, it's that love and bond of friendship you share, that would keep you both together. Unlike when you are trying so hard to develop love for that person.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 4:53pm On Nov 22, 2015
IamLEGEND1:
ain't got time to read that long chapter.....

but I'll say this though- marry whom you love and love whom you marry.

I know I'm not making any sense......but don't question me nonetheless.

No, you are actually making sense, bro.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 4:58pm On Nov 22, 2015
It is better to mary whom u love provided d person loves u in return....love whom u marry is only applicable in a situation whereby one of d parties(especially ladies) or both of d parties is older than d marriageable age or u are pressurize to marry a particular fellow....
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by obiorathesubtle: 4:58pm On Nov 22, 2015
Love Jesus

Marry a woman

Try to Love the woman you marry

Yes! In that order

Jesus don't cheat or break your heart or tell you you're useless if things are going bad and its hard to pay the mortgage, the light bill, water bill or any other bill.

Jesus don't force you to have kids so they can play with his mother, and call her grandma and ish.

Jesus don't make you to stop watching a football match cos his soap opera is about to start

Jesus don't slap and insult you in the labour room, blame you for the kid, or calling you a bastard for making him pregnant

Jesus don't say, "hey honey. I need to go see patricia and the girls, natalie's husband just bought her a new car, we're gonna meet up at her place and go celebrate, please take care of the kids"

Jesus don't make you not drink beer in the house because its bad influence on the kids

Jesus don't make you drive through 5 states to go see his mother on a sunday when you supposed to be in front of a damn tv watching Liverpool play and try season after season for the damn trophy!

Jesus don't think michelle is more intelligent than all the kids in her school, so you have to move her to a more expensive private school. Like wtf? How much is my damn salary?


I'm out man! I wish I could marry Jesus and just live my life without stress!

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by MsBliss(f): 4:58pm On Nov 22, 2015
Marry the one that loves you i guess.
guys fall in love easily while ladies grow in love.
with time ,I will fall in love with him.
but I'v got to at least like him or
find him attractive in the first place.else,I don't
see what I will be doing with him in the first
place.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by IamLEGEND1: 4:59pm On Nov 22, 2015
Decker:

No, you are actually making sense, bro.
thank you bro,
much appreciated.

Decker:

You don't marry someone and then start developing love for them after the marriage, such marriage will just be a burden and a constant struggle to love and earn love.
I am of the opinion you marry who you love. Marriage should be meant for two people who love, understand and are compatible with each other.
When you marry someone you love and that you are certain loves you too, when trials and circumstances arise that threaten your relationship, it's that love and bond of friendship you share, that would keep you both together. Unlike when you are trying so hard to develop love for that person.
now this...... this is some real Gandhi shít right there.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 5:00pm On Nov 22, 2015
Bleep this pussy shit, G ain't gat time to comment on ass faced threads. *spits on thread*
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Estharfabian(f): 5:01pm On Nov 22, 2015
Love who You marry...undecided
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 5:02pm On Nov 22, 2015
Decker:


You don't marry someone and then start developing love for them after the marriage, such marriage will just be a burden and a constant struggle to love and earn love.

I am of the opinion you marry who you love. Marriage should be meant for two people who love, understand and are compatible with each other.

When you marry someone you love and that you are certain loves you too, when trials and circumstances arise that threaten your relationship, it's that love and bond of friendship you share, that would keep you both together. Unlike when you are trying so hard to develop love for that person.
Whoa I misread ur moniker and panicked for a bit lol

I didn't say you shouldn't love them beforehand. Just that even if u don't, like an arranged marriage for example grin, u should still grow the love somehow. Cause otherwise the marriage won't survive, like u said.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Greycious(m): 5:02pm On Nov 22, 2015
I'd rather marry sm1 whom i'm 100% sure loves me. Than the other way round
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 5:08pm On Nov 22, 2015
MrsPhyno:

Whoa I misread ur moniker and panicked for a bit lol

I didn't say you shouldn't love them beforehand. Just that even if u don't, like an arranged marriage for example grin, u should still grow the love somehow. Cause otherwise the marriage won't survive, like u said.

Oh, I get you now. But the issue of arranged marriages though, I am not a fan of that. Such marriages are always a huge burden on the lady, because she is more like a servant and a help, than a wife and friend. That's a backward cultural practice and sadly, obu Ndi igbo kacha eme ya.

How did you misread my moniker? What made you panic?
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:09pm On Nov 22, 2015
IamLEGEND1:
ain't got time to read that long chapter.....

but I'll say this though- marry whom you love and love whom you marry.

I know I'm not making any sense......but don't question me nonetheless.
if you read the epistle you will realise Wat you said is exactly Wat I said, so you made sense
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:12pm On Nov 22, 2015
Greycious:
I'd rather marry sm1 whom i'm 100% sure loves me. Than the other way round
hmmmmm, so you love for that person doesn't matter? Have you ever been involved with a lady who was infatuated with u, u will feel she is smothering you bro, but believe me you would never have known a pain greater than that you will feel the moment she gets over her infatuation.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:13pm On Nov 22, 2015
Estharfabian:
Love who You marry...undecided
thank you. This solves the problem of those who claimed they married the so called wrong person. Na story be that, we have heard, wrong or right, put effort in loving that person nevertheless
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by IamLEGEND1: 5:14pm On Nov 22, 2015
Eddygourdo:
if you read the epistle you will realise Wat you said is exactly Wat I said, so you made sense
oh....well I guess we on the same page then.

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:14pm On Nov 22, 2015
Demigods:
Bleep this pussy shit, G ain't gat time to comment on ass faced threads. *spits on thread*
you commented for your information.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:17pm On Nov 22, 2015
MsBliss:
Marry the one that loves you.As a female,with time ,I will fall in love with him more.
ha. And if you realise he is cheating pig and couldn't love him back?
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Zeedarh(f): 5:17pm On Nov 22, 2015
MsBliss:
Marry the one that loves you.As a female,with time ,I will fall in love with him more.
It doesnt always work that way, sis. Marry who you love and love who you marry
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 5:17pm On Nov 22, 2015
IamLEGEND1:
thank you bro,
much appreciated.


now this...... this is some real Gandhi shít right there.


But guy, I have to admit, you are really good with memes. I always find myself laughing at your memes whenever you post them.

True talk; yesterday, I almost went through all your posts just so I could have a good laugh. You got real talent bro.

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Estharfabian(f): 5:18pm On Nov 22, 2015
Eddygourdo:
thank you. This solves the problem of those who claimed they married the so called wrong person. Na story be that, we have heard, wrong or right, put effort in loving that person nevertheless
Exactly!!!undecided I'd choose someone that Loves me Unconditionally over someone I Love that doesn't equally love me the same way I do...(dunno if that made any sense Buh it kinda did to me)undecided

LOVe grows...With time!wink

1 Like

Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:20pm On Nov 22, 2015
obiorathesubtle:
Love Jesus

Marry a woman

Try to Love the woman you marry

Yes! In that order

Jesus don't cheat or break your heart or tell you you're useless if things are going bad and its hard to pay the mortgage, the light bill, water bill or any other bill.

Jesus don't force you to have kids so they can play with his mother, and call her grandma and ish.

Jesus don't make you to stop watching a football match cos his soap opera is about to start

Jesus don't slap and insult you in the labour room, blame you for the kid, or calling you a bastard for making him pregnant

Jesus don't say, "hey honey. I need to go see patricia and the girls, natalie's husband just bought her a new car, we're gonna meet up at her place and go celebrate, please take care of the kids"

Jesus don't make you not drink beer in the house because its bad influence on the kids

Jesus don't make you drive through 5 states to go see his mother on a sunday when you supposed to be in front of a damn tv watching Liverpool play and try season after season for the damn trophy!

Jesus don't think michelle is more intelligent than all the kids in her school, so you have to move her to a more expensive private school. Like wtf? How much is my damn salary?


I'm out man! I wish I could marry Jesus and just live my life without stress!
though you strayed from the topic. You gat an intelligent head up there, we will all marry jesus if we could, till we se him we gat ourselves bro. Thus Wat u said earlier makes sense, though u left out marrying someone whom you might have an attraction towards
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Nobody: 5:20pm On Nov 22, 2015
Decker:


Oh, I get you now. But the issue of arranged marriages though, I am not a fan of that. Such marriages are always a huge burden on the lady, because she is more like a servant and a help, than a wife and friend. That's a backward cultural practice and sadly, obu Ndi igbo kacha eme ya.

How did you misread my moniker? What made you panic?
Mmhhm. Altho I always thought I could do an arranged marriage well. Not that it's ideal lol. Please translate @bolded cry

I read very quickly so I skip parts and then my brain fills in the rest lol and ur monicker resembled someone's at first glance or maybe I'm becoming OCD lol who knows.
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:22pm On Nov 22, 2015
Estharfabian:
Exactly!!!undecided I'd choose someone that Loves me Unconditionally over someone I Love that doesn't equally love me the same way I do...(dunno if that made any sense Buh it kinda did to me)undecided

LOVe grows...With time!wink
it does makes sense to you cos that's the safest option for your tender heart. Though it's a bit selfish but hey everyone is responsible for his or her emotional health and happiness, so spot on
Re: Should You Marry Whom You Love Or Love Whom You Marry by Eddygourdo(m): 5:24pm On Nov 22, 2015
MrsPhyno:

Mmhhm. Altho I always thought I could do an arranged marriage well. Not that it's ideal lol. Please translate @bolded cry

I read very quickly so I skip parts and then my brain fills in the rest lol and ur monicker resembled someone's at first glance or maybe I'm becoming OCD lol who knows.
not to jump into your discussion but if you ever thought an arranged marriage could work for you. That should tell you alot about ur personality, your strong, brave and love challenges plus you could love someone truthfully and dearly if you put ur mind to it. Cheers

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