Did He Propose Too Soon? - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Did He Propose Too Soon? (1031 Views)
Man Planned With Police To Propose To Girlfriend, What Happened Next Is Shocking / Man Used A Billboard At CMS To Propose To His Girlfriend In Lagos / Why Would He Propose?. (2) (3) (4)
| Did He Propose Too Soon? by prettydynamic: 10:51am On Nov 24, 2015 |
I and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for two years and some months. A year of it was long distance and two months after I came back to Nigeria, he proposed. I’m a believer in dating someone for maybe 3-4 years before you decide to fully commit so you can really know the person in and out. My boyfriend is not the type to cheat but has major anger issues – he can be petty, unforgiving and vindictive. We have done our traditional wedding and it’s about two months to the white. I’m worried that I entered this relationship too soon because I haven’t even entered the marriage and I am scared of going in. All I do is cry and pray. Most of the time, he is so disrespectful and all I do is walk on eggshells so there is peace. We have already been to counseling (both church and social) and it still remains the same. Please what do I do? I need real advice, please no insults. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Boy101(m): 10:52am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Continue to pray dear... Firstly, There's really no manual for a perfect marriage. Its as a result of both parties continuously compromising, forgiving and also forgetting! Secondly, Its not by how long you must have dated someone, if they're willing to change when you say you don't like this or that about them, that my dear, is a good recipe for a long lasting marriage. _____________________________________ Cash stays in the Pocket, Memories stay in the heart. Let's help you make as much memories as we can We offer services such as: *Event Video Coverage, *Photography, *Event planning and logistics. *Graphics Design *Programme, Banner and IV printing We use the best of cameras all (4k) HD with perfect lighting to ensure all details are captured perfectly within a considerable and negotiable price for that wedding, naming, house warming, anniversary and all other events because we know these things happen once in a life time! Contact us today! URBAN Lights Media 08165995946 58B587FD |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by naijaboiy: 10:52am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Maybe you should find a way to tell him to cool down. Like you people should stall the white wedding for a while so that you can settle your differences. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by naijaboiy: 10:53am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Boy101:Prayer without action is useless.  1 Like |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by vizkiz: 10:57am On Nov 24, 2015 |
60% of women in relationships about heading to marriage are not happy. #fact |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 10:57am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Call it off. No point going into a marriage you are unwilling and scared to get into. You haven't married him, but he is already treating you like _shit, to the extent that you walk on egg shells around him and all you do is cry and pray .When you fully become his wife it would only get worse. If you end up becoming his wife, the marriage would be a constant burden for you. Let's face it, for you to ask this question means at one point in time you have conceived calling off the marriage, and for you to conceive such means he must have really pushed you to the wall. Everyone here is telling you to continue praying and bearing and hoping, but for how long? How long will you keep waiting for him to change? What if he doesn't? Marriage is supposed to be something that you anticipate, something that brings a smile to your face whenever you think about it. Do you smile when you think about getting married to this man? This is your life not anyone else's. You have the choice to chose who you are going to spend it with. Do you really want to spend it with this man? Do you think he is the kind of person you'd want to raise your kids with? The ball is in your court. 1 Like |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by thorpido(m): 11:06am On Nov 24, 2015 |
You accepted his proposal already. You've done traditional marriage already. You've fixed a wedding date already. How come it's now you are thinking about it? It's not too late however.What I will advise is that you postpone the wedding for at least 6mths.Tell whoever wants to know that you need to sort things out before you take the plunge. Pray earnestly about your situation and wait on God.If after some months your gut still says no,call off the relationship. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by trustroad(m): 11:08am On Nov 24, 2015 |
From the first look of things, you are not happy with yourself and your decision. You already have bad feelings. I suggest you back off while there is still time. Good luck. 1 Like |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 11:10am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Is he abusive towards you? How is he disrespectful? I guess nobody is perfect. If you think his character flaws are nothing you can keep up with, then just don't get into this marriage with him. Simple. 1 Like |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by donTbone(m): 11:11am On Nov 24, 2015 |
prettydynamic:The Bolded, you are the only ne that knows what you want. If you feel you can cope with the crying stuff... Then go ahead |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Slimzjoe(m): 11:18am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Seriously, Some Questions shouldn't be Asked. Marriage is All about Compatibility and Not Necessarily Love. If you can Live with Him and be Happy for The Rest of your Life, then Go On |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by obiorathesubtle: 11:20am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Decker:iconcur |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 11:22am On Nov 24, 2015 |
prettydynamic:You ought to be happy with him. What matters most is "love". Forget about Hollywood movies and face the reality. A man who doesn't cheat is a good man. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 11:28am On Nov 24, 2015 |
obiorathesubtle:Good to know, bro. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 11:29am On Nov 24, 2015 |
obiorathesubtle: Good to know, bro. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by wordbank(m): 11:31am On Nov 24, 2015 |
U can't live in fear forever Take heed now u can or break ur marriage if u care but remember ain't no marriage without a flaw |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by DonX001: 11:35am On Nov 24, 2015 |
prettydynamic: You're seeing these major red flags even BEFORE you get married and you're still thinking of going ahead? Do you expect he will change after you get married?? Or are husbands really that scarce that you don't mind settling for a lifetime of misery?? If you decide to go ahead with the marriage, don't come and worry our ears with tales of woe when the shitt hits the fan. 1 Like |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 11:50am On Nov 24, 2015 |
DeeTus: I'll have to disagree with you here. You are saying that what matters most is love, yet you are erroneously mistaking love for not cheating on his girlfriend. A man can stay faithful to his woman, but still abuse and disrespect her, but because he isn't cheating on her isn't enough reason to say he loves her. If a man loves a woman, he would respect and value her. He won't be okay treating her anyhow he likes. He won't subject her to any form of physically or emotional abuse. . Being faithful to her is just one of the pillars that comprise the castle of love. There are other pillars and without those other pillars, love can't stand. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 12:33pm On Nov 24, 2015 |
Decker:You need to hear from this man as well so as to figure out what happened. Women have their own problems too and sometimes, they're difficult to handle. I had an ex-girlfriend who wouldn't allow me go out with my niggas once they come to my house just because she's self-centered, where as she would want me to accompany her whenever she wants to hang out with her friends. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 2:03pm On Nov 24, 2015 |
your boyfriend/ fiance/ husband sounds like a narcissist and its really hard to be around this kind of people or impress them. they can suck the life out of you with that absurd behavior when all you do is try to be at your best for them while they keep going further to hurt you. From my experience, one of the most effective ways to handle people with such tendencies is to ignore them and then Mirror their attitude back to them and you will start to notice some changes. ignore him back when he ignores you, ignore him when he's being petty, vindictive, or unforgiven infact, ignore him anytime he starts to act up, because this kind of people lack empathy, so they don't understand that you are hurting by their actions. I know its not easy to do this to someone you love, but It's better than using good energy to invest in someone that will quickly suck it out of you any chance he gets. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Acidosis(m): 3:22pm On Nov 24, 2015 |
Effect of long distance relationships & false expectations: while you were away from the country, you had high and false expectations. However when reality struck; the brain, mind and heart found it difficult to adjust to reality. People should stop painting false images about their spouse. Stick to reality and live happy. If your spouse earns N20,000/monthly. Leave it at that. Do not paint N200,000/month in your mind. If your man has an oblong kinda head, live it at that, stop pic-mixing to make it look like what you want. The head won't change to Banky W's head in reality, no matter how much your brain process a false image. If your spouse is 4ft tall, he will never grow an additional feet by this time tomorrow. Stop EXPECTING the UN-REAL. I'm sure this anger issues were noticed at the beginning of the relationship. In as much as he has anger issues, I'm forced to believe there are certain underlying issues you didn't post here. Effect of marrying too early: Are you less than 25 years? I asked because women, especially those within the age of 20-25 do have this form of fear before entering into marriage. Reason is not far-fetched, you must have had sweet exes and super wonderful suitors whose characters, money & beauty, you consider better than the present man. You cannot cheat the brain, it will always compare certain factors. Tears will flow, not necessarily because your man has anger issues. It will flow like TAP water because you've had exes without anger issues. Exes who give better s e x and kisses, richer exes, etc. Just do what you have to do. I'm not in the best state of mind to proffer any help. The weather is too hot. |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 4:39pm On Nov 24, 2015 |
Marry him at ur peril. Prayers cant change anythin. Ask oyakilohme nd okotie 1 Like |
| Re: Did He Propose Too Soon? by Nobody: 4:48pm On Nov 24, 2015 |
prettydynamic:falling down, down!! "End Time proposal" |
(1) (Reply)
Ex Girl Friend Recovery Guide....is Your Ex Regretting Why She Left? (guys Only) / What Most Guys And Gurls Dont Know... / Pls Help,i Need Advice From Singles That Are Living Life Devoid Of Fornication.
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 51 |