passionate88:


I have seen a single mother married a guy that has never been married before, she has a good character sha, after she gave birth she changed for the better.

And i never said single mums don't get married to guys who have never had any child but you wil agree with me that given the choice, a single never married guy will easily choose a single lady without a child over a single unmarried mum and this is undisputable and that is my message.

A single mum who is unmarried will need to place herself at a more vantage position to endear a single guy without a child when there are numerous unmarried ladies with no child hanging on their neck.

Toks2008:


And i never said single mums don't get married to guys who have never had any child but you wil agree with me that given the choice, a single never married guy will easily choose a single lady without a child over a single unmarried mum and this is undisputable and that is my message.

A single mum who is unmarried will need to place herself at a more vantage position to endear a single guy without a child when there are numerous unmarried ladies with no child hanging on their neck.

true.

Toks2008:


Dude i will advice that you take time out to comprehend before making comments cos all you wrote are well en-sync with what i wrote and im really surprised that you spent time writing all these grammar just to corroborate my point.

"It is not so easy for an unmarried single mum to see a never married single guy to really desire her and want her as a wife except she is very fortunate so my advice is for ladies in this category to look in the direction of single guys who are also baby daddies. The widowers with children,the male divorcée with children will be most suited for an unmarried single mum. "

The embolden is an extract from the point my comment was premised on. I think you should be the one to read again what you wrote to be sure. I never ratified the inverse and antediluvian disposition of yours there. My views were opposing to it rather.

You've to learn to embrace conflicting views and ideas than feel offended when people think differently. You're responsible for your thought, so do I and everyone else. We all must not be part of the OP you're on point brigade. Cheers.

I so so agree with that no. 1.

ronald4lif:


"It is not so easy for an unmarried single mum to see a never married single guy to really desire her and want her as a wife except she is very fortunate so my advice is for ladies in this category to look in the direction of single guys who are also baby daddies. The widowers with children,the male divorcée with children will be most suited for an unmarried single mum. "

The embolden is an extract from the point my comment was premised on. I think you should be the one to read again what you wrote to be sure. I never ratified the inverse and antediluvian disposition of yours there. My views were opposing to it rather.

You've to learn to embrace conflicting views and ideas than feel offended when people think differently. You're responsible for your thought, so do I and everyone else. We all must not be part of the OP you're on point brigade. Cheers.

My brother i am as objective as you can ever imagine and infact i get so impressed by logical and intelligent counter motion but what baffles me is the way you hit hard because you read my post in isolation.

My first paragraph of that #5 clearly corroborates with your comment just that you rephrased and elaborated on it.

Ok dude be very sincere.. if you have two options.. a sweet never married single mum and am equally sweet never married lady with no child given the fact that other virtues are constant in both please as an unmarried guy with no child which choice will easily come to mind?

I couldn't agree more with the op.
what you wrote are facts and anyone with a different opinion is an "antifact"

I'm glad someone holds this opinion.
Though I would say that the write-up is motivated basically by the current financial trend in the society,and not age bracket as someone earlier pointed out,but apparently,the OP's 'opinion' stems from what is obtainable in our society,both culturally,and otherwise. Somewhere in France,two teenagers might just fall in love and decide to tie the nuptial knots the following months;that's their system. On the contrary,that rarely happens here,calculate your school fees+baby's diaper+hospital bills+etc and common sense would force you to look the other way,while your french counterpart definitely has some government packages that allows him to school and pay later when employed,supports mother and child through and after child birth,etc.
In the same vein,our culture limits most relationships from holding. Compare a situation where Davido won't even marry Sophia whom he had carefully or carelessly put in the family way, and where Nick cannon(sic) married mariah carriah(sic) just because he fancied her.

So OP,I think you made a valid contribution with this one. Especially No.1. Parents should advice their girls better because its always due to their mismanagement of their little beginnings that they end up not taken by age 40.
And those hoping to get married come 2016, the OP's wise words should be enough for you.
#already loving 2016.

guys I saw this pic on my girlfriend DP, what do I do to her or the meaning of that.
your advice please.

blimeyVic:

I'm glad someone holds this opinion.
Though I would say that the write-up is motivated basically by the current financial trend in the society,and not age bracket as someone earlier pointed out,but apparently,the OP's 'opinion' stems from what is obtainable in our society,both culturally,and otherwise. Somewhere in France,two teenagers might just fall in love and decide to tie the nuptial knots the following months;that's their system. On the contrary,that rarely happens here,calculate your school fees+baby's diaper+hospital bills+etc and common sense would force you to look the other way,while your french counterpart definitely has some government packages that allows him to school and pay later when employed,supports mother and child through and after child birth,etc.
In the same vein,our culture limits most relationships from holding. Compare a situation where Davido won't even marry Sophia whom he had carefully or carelessly put in the family way, and where Nick cannon(sic) married mariah carriah(sic) just because he fancied her.

So OP,I think you made a valid contribution with this one. Especially No.1. Parents should advice their girls better because its always due to their mismanagement of their little beginnings that they end up not taken by age 40.
And those hoping to get married come 2016, the OP's wise words should be enough for you.
#already loving 2016.

You are right on track and i actually wrote this with the Nigerian mindset.

Toks2008:


My brother i am as objective as you can ever imagine and infact i get so impressed by logical and intelligent counter motion but what baffles me is the way you hit hard because you read my post in isolation.

My first paragraph of that #5 clearly corroborates with your comment just that you rephrased and elaborated on it.

Ok dude be very sincere.. if you have two options.. a sweet never married single mum and am equally sweet never married lady with no child given the fact that other virtues are constant in both please as an unmarried guy with no child which choice will easily come to mind?

It is not really about me bruv, it's about insensitivity and stigmatising a group of people, in this case single mums. Your posture therein is condescending and demeaning to them.

No two people can be same so there's no way one can meet two people of constant and exact values. They would always be better in their individual ways and if the single mum has more values I'd settle for her and if the single lady has more admirable values so be it.

What you're doing is no different from someone coming up to say HIV people or people with certain disabilities should stick to their kind. Although some cases can be true but it's not something to sedate the public with. It's discriminating and discrimination is meant to be repressed not encouraged.

ronald4lif:
Mr. Toks you have a disjointed view about single mum and I think that's borne out of ignorance.

A single mum deserves men of equal status just like single ladies and there are blizzard of marriages between single mums and men without kids.

Your assertion of single ladies looking into the direction of single daddies for companionship is not only berating but portrays them as rejects and further stigmatise them in the society. The world evolves beyond Nigeria where such mentality exist and understands that there are better core values to look out for in a woman than motherhood status.

We consciously harangue single mums and makes them feel dejected but would also dismiss the idea of abortion. I understand a woman shouldn't get pregnant outside wedlock but there would always be accidental pregnancies and if we're to chide single mums then expect the rate of abortion to grow. Let's be careful of what we wish for.

And just a quick question; should single dad stop looking at single ladies and focus more on single mums too?

Your opinion is quite thoughtful and noteworthy. However,I think the message OP is trying pass across is that,the best and most convenient place to find a yoruba lady is in yoruba land,not that you won't find one in the creeks,but the chances of finding one is higher near ota farm.
And as for your question on the single dad scenario,lol,some say it's a man's world,though I think differently, but Sanusi the Emir recently married a beautiful damsel,and might marry a pregnant lady next,if he chooses to.
In all I think the OP is only helping our unmarried lovely NIGERIAN ladies segment the mix appropriately and know best whom to target in time. Âny rare occurrence is just 'JARA'.

ronald4lif:


It is not really about me bruv, it's about insensitivity and stigmatising of a group of people, in this case single mums. Your posture therein is condescending and demeaning to them.

No two people can be same so there's no way one can meet two people of constant and exact values. They would always be better in their individual ways and if the single mum has more values I'd settle for her and if the single lady has more admirable values so be it.

What you're doing is no different from someone coming up to say HIV people or people with certain disabilities should stick to their kind. Although some cases can be true but it's not something to sedate the public with. It's discriminating and discrimination is meant to be repressed not encouraged.

It is this your grammer i am not at home with and that is why i wrote that you dont need it cos you are reading my post in isolation..READ MY POST VERY WELL DUDE..I AM NOT DISCRIMINATING.

Infact i can marry a hot after one and look away from a not so sweet single lady with no child. Anyways what ever rocks your boat

blimeyVic:




Your opinion is quite thoughtful and noteworthy. However,I think the message OP is trying pass across is that,the best and most convenient place to find a yoruba lady is in yoruba land,not that you won't find one in the creeks,but the chances of finding one is higher near ota farm.
And as for your question on the single dad scenario,lol,some say it's a man's world,though I think differently, but Sanusi the Emir recently married a beautiful damsel,and might marry a pregnant lady next,if he chooses to.
In all I think the OP is only helping our unmarried lovely NIGERIAN ladies segment the mix appropriately and know best whom to target in time. Âny rare occurrence is just 'JARA'.

You just summarized the whole thing..Nice one.

In the real sense, i concur with this write up because it is basically reality,the commonest trend in this contemporary days, however, there are some exceptional cases.
It will sound offensive for some people, especially ladies in some latter part of the category but truly this is a close fact except you're in denial.
But note, whatever or wherever you fall,remember,with God all things are possible.Just pray/ask,be patient and stedfast,God will surely answer.
I've seen exceptional cases, and there are still more that'll still happen.

Happy new year everyone.

Adaeze003:


Oh... hi... by "Nigerian feminist" you mean me?? I'm Nigerian but not a feminist and I'm actually anti-brideprice...

What I'm saying in essence is, get your facts straight or remain quiet... cheers!

That's nice. Always thought you were a feminist, many Nigerian feminist don't practice what they preach. Not against feminist though, just want their struggle to be about equality nd not superiority.

charismatic1:
In the real sense, i concur with this write up because it is basically reality,the commonest trend in this contemporary days, however, there are some exceptional cases.
It will sound offensive for some people, especially ladies in some latter part of the category but truly this is a close fact except you're in denial.
But note, whatever or wherever you fall,remember,with God all things are possible.Just pray/ask,be patient and stedfast,God will surely answer.
I've seen exceptional cases, and there are still more that'll still happen.

Happy new year everyone.

Definitely there are and will always be exceptional cases.What i wrote holds true not in all but most cases.

Toks2008:


It is this your grammer i am not at home with and that is why i wrote that you dont need it cos you are reading my post in isolation..READ MY POST VERY WELL DUDE..I AM NOT DISCRIMINATING.

Infact i can marry a hot after one and look away from a not so sweet single lady with no child. Anyways what ever rocks your boat

Thanks for the compliment. I'm thanking coz you find my posture as an isolation. I pride myself as an isolationist in approaching issues, and not the bandwagon brigade. I might be wrong, could be right. However, I need a robust antithesis to prove me where I'm wrong and missing the point and I'd gladly accept it. We're all here to learn and uproot our negative views to life even as we cultivate new ones.

Your last statement is an admission that you're not ready to entertain opposing views and it is really sad. Anyway, cheers mate and happy new year in advance.

Omotayor123:
And I know you are a single Dad

so we r good to go

blimeyVic:




Your opinion is quite thoughtful and noteworthy. However,I think the message OP is trying pass across is that,the best and most convenient place to find a yoruba lady is in yoruba land,not that you won't find one in the creeks,but the chances of finding one is higher near ota farm.
And as for your question on the single dad scenario,lol,some say it's a man's world,though I think differently, but Sanusi the Emir recently married a beautiful damsel,and might marry a pregnant lady next,if he chooses to.
In all I think the OP is only helping our unmarried lovely NIGERIAN ladies segment the mix appropriately and know best whom to target in time. Âny rare occurrence is just 'JARA'.

Thanks for your intervention and your opinion is appropriate and welcoming. While he might have got it right, he did misfired as well.

I don't want to admit your examplary of Sanusi because while I respect his person, achievement and faith on which grounds he cited as reason for marrying a girl young enough to be her daughter but I think his action is wrong.

Now to be thematic, I'm Igbo and let's say I live in an area, largely populated by Yoruba or Hausa, in this case southwest or Northern Nigeria. I'm searching for a bride so would you advise me to relocate to the East where I can find an Igbo? True, you can prevail on me to focus on where I can easily meet Igbos but for what purpose exactly when I can find myself a Yoruba or Hausa lady? By doing so, you're tacitly encouraging tribalism in a time where it should be shun and antiquated. What's your take?

Odikwa egwu!

Toks2008:
I want to share "MY OPINION" on a very sensitive and controversial issue as regards the types of ladies we have and the kind of guys that is best suited for them.

There is no specific formula for a relationship to be a great one and any man can meet and fall in love with any lady and have a great union together regardless of age or status but nevertheless i have come to realize that what i am about to write holds true in most cases and i promise you all that this will be a revealing as well as thought provoking piece.

I present to you 7 types of ladies and the kind of men that will be most ideal for them to go into a purposeful relationship with...

[size=13pt]1.The Teenage/adolescent ladies and undergraduates: [/size]Many ladies at this stage of their lives tend to mingle and fall in love with guys of same age group like an 18 year old lady falling in love with a fellow teenager or a guy of a very close age gap...Many female undergraduates also tend to get involved in school romance with guys of same academic level or maybe just a year or two ahead of them.

Yes in few cases the ladies in question might just be fortunate enough to grow older together and end up marrying the guy but the truth is that the guys who are most ideal for teenage or adolescent ladies are men of wide age gap say from 6 yrs and above as these set of guys will appreciate these ladies more unlike their age mates or guys with just a year or two older.This may not make sense until these ladies find themselves at age 26 while the guy at age 28 will still be playing around and does not even know what he wants.

[size=13pt]2.:Ladies in their mid or late twenties [/size] Ladies in this category needs no sooth sayer to know that they should try to look away from guys in their 20s if they really want a purposeful affair.Yes yes we know that some guys are very well focused in their 20s especially late 20s but lets not fool each other..7 out of 10 guys in their 20s don't even understand a jack about commitment so why give yourself avoidable heartache falling in love with guys who are far from ready to commit themselves in matrimony? Guys in their 30s are best suited for ladies in this category.

[size=13pt]3.Ladies in their early 30s: [/size] If you are a lady who for one reason or the other finds herself unmarried in this age category please calm down and remove your mind from guys of very close age gap even in the 30s because most guys in their early 30s still have eyes for the twenty something ladies but we still have some guys in their late 30s who are very cool with ladies in their early 30s so a 30 or 32 year old lady should expect more appreciation from unmarried guys in their late 30s as well as male divorcées or widowers as they will not only desire these ladies in early 30s but will also appreciate them deeply unlike guys of very close age gap while guys of younger ages should be avoided like plague if you can because most times,they are only interested in playing you and moving on.

[size=13pt]4.Ladies in their late 30s and early 40s: [/size]We all know that 7 out of 10 guys in this age brackets must have been in one form of committed affair at a point in their life before attaining this age bracket so apparently most guys in their late 30s or early 40s are either widowers or divorcées which simply means that the guys that will naturally be most suited for ladies in this category are either divorcées,widowers or you just might meet with very few ones who have never been married before.

[size=13pt]5.The unmarried single mum: [/size] Well i believe this is a rather daisy situation as many hot single mums still find themselves in the hands of hot young never married guys who sincerely desire them but lets be frank with each other..It is not so easy for an unmarried single mum to see a never married single guy to really desire her and want her as a wife except she is very fortunate so my advice is for ladies in this category to look in the direction of single guys who are also baby daddies. The widowers with children,the male divorcée with children will be most suited for an unmarried single mum.

[size=13pt]6.Female divorcées: [/size]If you are a lady divorcée without a child and still very much young then you just might be fortunate to meet a never married man who will sincerely want and appreciate you but if children are involved them your best bet will be a fellow male divorcée with children or a married man who will not mind to have you as an extra wife.

[size=13pt]7.The widowed: [/size] This depends on the age of the lady but any widow with children and in here 30s may find solace more in a fellow widower with children,a make divorcée with children or a married man.

I know this piece may not make sense to some people but those who reason deep might just see the truth in it but as i wrote earlier on,
IT REMAINS MY OPINION.

NICE PIECE

GUYS IN THEIR 30s whr una dey i need like 5 of una lemme make my choice am tired of all these indomie boys dt i roll with no TIME!!!!!!!

zubby29:
so we r good to go

Not at all

Number 2 is a fallacy.. that's the kind of point that forces ladies to look for older men..

Toks2008:


Age and maturity of mind are totally different..but anyways,Motigbo..oda ro

What is motigbo.
Abegi continue your goodline of work in your department.
You are doing a good job that must be appreciated.
Continue on women in relation to men.......I'm learning a lot from it.
A girl deceived me for so many years. I'm in my late 30s now and have started life afresh....searching when I should be happily married.

ronald4lif:


Thanks for the compliment. I'm thanking coz you find my posture as an isolation. I pride myself as an isolationist in approaching issues, and not the bandwagon brigade. I might be wrong, could be right. However, I need a robust antithesis to prove me where I'm wrong and missing the point and I'd gladly accept it. We're all here to learn and uproot our negative views to life even as we cultivate new ones.

Your last statement is an admission that you're not ready to entertain opposing views and it is really sad. Anyway, cheers mate and happy new year in advance.

Kai..oyinbo po..you go soon write dictionary...happy new year bro

Omotayor123:
Not at all

Lol happy new year

zubby29:
Lol happy new year

Chill.... Few more minutes dear

married mum

Adaeze003:
Na wa oh.... buh then, this is just what you scribbled out of boredom and probably disdain or to spite someone?

Because in reality, guys in their early 30z marry girls in their 30z(sometimes older) and should I talk about both in late 20z range?

But let me ask, how many weddings have you attended since January? Just check, the wide age gap is no longer a trend.

Oh and teens should date teens and not some older pervert that'll turn them to sex tools(yes, I know teens might have sex on their own but at least, it'll be mutual) better still, they should be more focused on their education(if they'll listen)...

*off topic* is it just me or is the way people talk
about marriage these days really off-putting?

Madam,how old are you? You sound pained cause you probably want to marry your age mate.

Have you noticed that women get to look older than men of the same age group. A 25 yrs old girl is just ok for guys in their early or late thirties . women in their early 30s should go for guys in their late thirties or 40s.

Did you say that you see girls and guys of same age group get married? But you know that you girls look way older than your ages because of una "hustling" days.

I don't seem to buy to the assertions or thoughts posited in this post. Am in my late 20s and I wish I can get marry to someone within my age bracelet or someone in her 30s even single mum I wouldn't mind, provided she's someone who can advance my prospects vis-a-vis.

Omotayor123:
Chill.... Few more minutes dear

happy new year sweet