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5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. - Romance - Nairaland

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5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by RexKexMilann: 11:12pm On Dec 11, 2015
Maybe it started during a long business trip or surfing through cable channels late at night after she was asleep.


You found yourself more hooked into it than you wanted to be. Viewing that smut violates your own values, and you know she’d be offended if she
found out. Her finding out… you shudder to think about that.


You don’t want to disappoint her or have her worry that this is a bigger deal than it really is. She has enough on her plate.


So you resolve to deal with it on your own. You’re confident that you can stay away from it. Maybe some
day you’ll even tell her that it was something you conquered on your own long ago. So with renewed
resolve you move forward, and do manage to stay away from it – for a while at least.


But then you find yourself caught up in the porn again. Enough times now that you’d have quite a bit to confess if you were to really come clean with her.


What’s a guy to do?

Tell her, that’s what!

I know it might feel impossible, but here are five really good reasons to muster the courage and just do it:



1. Women love real men:

I don’t mean men with deep voices who drive pickup trucks and bench press a lot. I mean men who are genuine and honest and open. Our wives love it
when we are willing to engage and connect as we are instead of pretending to be something else.
Sure,women hate it when their husbands make a habit of lusting after other women, but most women
understand that porn can be addictive for men.


She will be disappointed at first, maybe even emotionally devastated. But not nearly as hurt as if she were to find out on her own. She can come
to understand that you want your life with her more than you want porn – but only if you open up to her about the struggle and let her know that!



2. You’re one of the good guys who deserves support:


You may have developed the habit of holding your
emotions in, trying to be tough, and dealing with problems on your own. You may be living in the man box that so many of us were raised to believe we need to stay in. However, it’s okay to admit that a
struggle like this is bigger than you. If it weren’t, you would have succeeded on your own before now.


If she were struggling with something this difficult in her life, you’d want her to tell you so that you could be
there for her, wouldn’t you? The truth is, after the initial shock, most women feel closer to their husbands
once his porn struggle is out in the open and they’re working on it together.



3. You can get this wedge out from between you and your beloved:


Let’s face it, for as long as you’ve been struggling, you haven’t been able to really look her in the eye.
There’s a part of you that wants to fly under her radar instead of truly engage and connect with her. Caught
up in the guilt, you’ve had less mental energy to devote to her and her needs.


You’ve been more irritable. You haven’t realized it, but the primary source of your misery is not actually
the porn but the closeness you’re missing out on between you and the most important person in your life!



4. Teamwork is the best path out of a pornography habit:

Now that she knows, you’ll be able to reach out
instead of acting out. A strong relationship is the most powerful avenue of relapse prevention . Recalling her pain will be a tether to help keep you grounded when you’re tempted in the future.


You’ll have someone to talk to when you’re feeling emotionally deflated and more at risk of relapsing. And
here’s the great thing about the fact that she’s a woman: you’ll be able to talk about what you’re feeling with someone who understands emotion. You’ll have someone else joining you in praying for your success in this struggle.



5. Struggling together will draw the two of you close (Eventually.):

Communicating about this extremely difficult issue is
training at high altitude. Later when you face a crisis at work or with one of your kids, you’ll have access to all
of the skills and strengths you're developing now. If you can face this together and work through it,nothing
will be able to tear the two of you apart!


And you really can face this together and work through it!


Trust her enough to open up about it, and you will most likely discover that you can cheesy!!!

2 Likes

Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by Nobody: 11:13pm On Dec 11, 2015
Following
Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by braine(m): 11:16pm On Dec 11, 2015
This seems like an effective way to quit porn.
Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by Cutehector(m): 11:17pm On Dec 11, 2015
Lalasticlala... This is gooooood
Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by Cutehector(m): 11:18pm On Dec 11, 2015
Well i confess, i have watched porn ...
Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by dachaste(f): 11:24pm On Dec 11, 2015
Some chicken brained ladies won't take such news likely and maturedly fa.





U gotta knw d Kindda lady u have at home b4 opening up on such stuff. else e don be for u be dat.
Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by Cutehector(m): 11:36pm On Dec 11, 2015
dachaste:
Some chicken brained ladies won't take such news likely and maturedly fa.





U gotta knw d Kindda lady u have at home b4 opening up on such stuff. else e don be for u be dat.
this is so true..

1 Like

Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by JimTiger4(m): 12:03am On Dec 12, 2015
*clears throat*
Ahem.... u were saying ? undecided #JK

1 Like

Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by Crieff(m): 12:04am On Dec 12, 2015
While it is good to divulge this part of your life to a wife. It is not always advisable to do that with a prospective wife/fiance or the new lady that just came in on the scene.

Reason is, telling her MIGHT be counter-intuitive to the goal of trumping porn. Essentially, what a man needs is someone who he can be accountable to and not someone who will smother him instead of telling him the consequences of his acts when necessary.
A fiancé or girlf may not be able to speak to the man like a male accountable partner will do.
#Whatdoyousay?

1 Like

Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by ikescope: 8:08am On Dec 12, 2015
Cutehector:
Well i confess, i have watched porn ...


U av watched.. abi u still addicted to it ? angry angry
Brother..u are still a porn viewer but don't go 2 d bathroom to help yasef sha tongue
Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by obiorathesubtle: 8:26am On Dec 12, 2015
Firstly! I am not happy with this post




Secondly, I still want to find out why women hate to see their men watch porn?? What? Do they think the guy would run off with a porn star or something?




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Re: 5 Reasons To Tell Her You Struggle With Porn. by Cutehector(m): 11:27am On Dec 12, 2015
ikescope:



U av watched.. abi u still addicted to it ? angry angry
Brother..u are still a porn viewer but don't go 2 d bathroom to help yasef sha tongue
look at dem.. I feel sorry for u

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