Dear NL,i posted a thread b4 n ur reply really helped me now is anoda serious issue dat jst came up last nite,i had a quarrel wit my fiancee concerning one particular number callin her like 4times a day when she is wit me,so d num called her n i pick her call n d dude was askin who i am n i told him am d fiancee so d dude said my gurl neva told her dat she is engaged.when i confronted her she said d dude is only toastin her dat all he said is false n she slap me 1st so mistakely i hit her too.so she went bk home n told me to gv her sm tyme to think abt her life but i jst can't help myself not callin her all day, pls advice me on wat to do, @sistawoman,@poster n all NL,

Kestro:

Dear NL,i posted a thread b4 n ur reply really helped me now is anoda serious issue dat jst came up last nite,i had a quarrel wit my fiancee concerning one particular number callin her like 4times a day when she is wit me,so d num called her n i pick her call n d dude was askin who i am n i told him am d fiancee so d dude said my gurl neva told her dat she is engaged.when i confronted her she said d dude is only toastin her dat all he said is false n she slap me 1st so mistakely i hit her too.so she went bk home n told me to gv her sm tyme to think abt her life but i jst can't help myself not callin her all day, pls advice me on wat to do, @sistawoman,@poster n all NL,

she slapped u ?

she slapped u n u hit her mistakingly, n she left sayin u shud give her time to think abot her life? y not give her d time? n see wat her thinkin will yield.

Pls blackky,if i allow her to think abt her life n tins goes wrong,was i wrong in my act,

Kestro:

Pls blackky,if i allow her to think abt her life n tins goes wrong,was i wrong in my act,

I don't think you are wrong. She is wrong by slapping you. What brought slap to the matter? kinda of guilty conscience.

@faakay,thax 4 ur reply.pls now dat she said i shuld give her tyme to think abt her life so i can't stay thru a whole day without hear frm her,wat will i do.

Kestro:

@faakay,thax 4 ur reply.pls now dat she said i shuld give her tyme to think abt her life so i can't stay thru a whole day without hear frm her,wat will i do.

Think about what? please stop begging her. Love is supposed to be shared equally but seems it has fallen to your side and she is trying to take advantage of you.

I smell something fishy here! Just let her be for the main time maybe 2-3 days interval. And when next you folks meet, try to talk some senses to her.

All the best.

who the hell is this guy. a girl slaped u and u mistakly hit her.

u r not man enough for using the word mistakly.

if u be the one to first call her, she will take advantage of u.

leave her if she dont call u, let her go.

Hey dude,4rm wat u wrote. 4 her to slap u means she has smthing in common wit d 2nd guy, n also she is aving guilty cons. u no. I no hw u feel, u should let her be. Also rmber what goes around, comes around. Let the ginger be, u still have beautiful things ahead. If she luvs u and feels bad by wat did, she should b d one 2 call. Dont make mistake about calling her. This's a man world guy, be larger than ur probs man.

Ur Babe has guilty conscience going somewhere for her to have slapped you over picking her call from another dude,
Man leave the irl for a while let her realise what she wants jare,
U don't know a good one until it's lost,
Free am

boy my best take on this is,

face ur worst fear, which is "she might leave u"
look fear into the eye and fear no more.

then pretend she dont exist, forget her for somewhile.

she has the gut to slap because she wants/ have control in the relationship.
let her be and get control for ur self.

the worst she can do is leave for the other guy and the time she asked for is time to spend with the other guy.
allow her time to compare.

you say u loved her, let her out, if she returns then she is urs.

This is ny advice to you , put yourself together and forget about her for a while maybe you should look out there for someone else she do not worth the whole love you are giving to him

I believe there is someone else out there that will appreciate the love she ask you to give her time to think about her life ,,,,,i believe that should tell you what she means

She is absolutely dating the dude so no waste time

@kestro,
free the her for sometime, she's having something with that guy (obvious). let her be and see how it goes. Remember that wherever u go u meet someone u love.

NL,thank you all my fellas 4 ur wondaful reply,i owe u guy alot cos i am really impress by the way u pple advice me.i promise to stay clear frm her 4 a while.God is awesome,

@ kestro ,
It's contextual for me. I've had two women slap me for offensive things that I said and honestly it was just funny. We all laughed afterwards. I think of that kind of thing as more slapstick than violence. That being said, resorting to violence is something that humans (not just men and women) should not do (unless in defense). I also had a girlfriend punch me so hard she bruised my ribs. I didn't hit her back but I did unceremoniously dump her.
you shouldn't hv hit her she is only a woman.

Confront the issue head on. Pretend she doesn`t exist. Believe me if she come back for you it will be with respect. If she go and never come back, you will one day thank God that for taking that stand. You what you got to do brother.

@poster: pls, ow old r u?

Grow up man, wats wrong with u? she is messing about with another man? Never told him that she is engaged? She slapped u? and u getting worked-out cos she is gone? Wake up and be serious with ur life.

Both of you were at fault, why do you have to pick her call? to me there is no reason for you to have pick her call. though you have an excuse, but that does not warrant you to do that,  that is your own fault, and to her, she made a big mistake for slapping you, what i can deduce from that is that she having extra relationship(Double date), she is going out with that guy, if peradventure you marry her, wouldn't she be slapping you at home, i can sense your feeling, but you have to be man, since she said you should give her time to gather herself, please do, you also give yourself a sense of rest, and see how things is gonna be.
cheers

Both of you were at fault, why do you have to pick her call? to me there is no reason for you to have pick her call. though you have an excuse, but that does not warrant you to do that,  that is your own fault, and to her, she made a big mistake for slapping you, what i can deduce from that is that she having extra relationship(Double date), she is going out with that guy, if peradventure you marry her, wouldn't she be slapping you at home, i can sense your feeling, but you have to be man, since she said you should give her time to gather herself, please do, you also give yourself a sense of rest, and see how things is gonna be.
cheers

@ poster: Why did she slap you? That part of the story sounds like parts were left out.

she's guilty as sin . she slapped u becos she knew u wud hit

her back. dump the b**ch. she's cheating on u.

well my dear it is better it happened now than latter, u are still courting and she still have a right to whatever decision she makes now. i guess u should actually give her time and u give ur self time as well i know both of u will come up with the very best of ur thinking

eyah poster
give her space - try not to call her - when she is ready see what kidn of sorry explanation she comes back with and then take it from there

you dont want to run after a guilty party - if not she will think she can get away with murder - if you are plaanning to marry this girl - set the tone now. let who ever was wrong make the first apology and you can both apologise and try to work pat it

as i said in another post - a woman who does not declare herself taken from the onset and does not discourage toasters - knows what she is looking for and is not ready to committ to you 100% - you have to carefully think about your future with this sort of woman - i am sure she is a loving caring soul - but when she is ready to commit and settle she will and automatically discard of all toasters

Poster,pls tell mor e about ur age and more about d girl.

Even in dream,my wife or girlfriend has no moral right to woze me.
Dem nor born nam well.

Dear NL,i posted a thread b4 n ur reply really helped me now is anoda serious issue dat jst came up last nite,i had a quarrel wit my fiancee concerning one particular number callin her like 4times a day when she is wit me,so d num called her n i pick her call n d dude was askin who i am n i told him am d fiancee so d dude said my gurl neva told her dat she is engaged.when i confronted her she said d dude is only toastin her dat all he said is false n she slap me 1st so mistakely i hit her too.so she went bk home n told me to gv her sm tyme to think abt her life but i jst can't help myself not callin her all day, pls advice me on wat to do

@Kestro - I really cant believe what i've been reading the response to your post on NL This is why so many Naija marriages are bleeped up. Have you heard the phrase "START AS YOU MEAN TO GO ALONG" before?

A number was calling ur fiancee enough to make u suspicious; U picked up and a dud answered asking WHO u are??, Then told u she never told him she had a fiancee; And she ended up slapping u!!, and she want to think about her life, rather than going on her knees and begging u? And u are asking what to do? What kind of man are u if u are asking what to do?

This is a serious breach of trust. Infidelity at this stage, definitely means infidelity later on. I urge you to respect your self, and ur manhood and call the marriage off asap and no going back.
Naija men in living in Naja are such wimps its unbelievable.

What did you say to her that made her slap you?