Op, you are under their roof, not paying rent or anything.... You've got to do something useful in the house to show appreciation for their putting you up in the house.


You've got put in your own part.

Poverty and pride.....perfect recipe to get your broke, jobless ass kicked out of that house soon enough. You expect him to do the dishes while you sit in your room looking for verses in the Bible to support your arrogant and condescending religious self abi?

Well, if he says wash plates then do so for peace to reign or move out.

GMartyns:
Hello, I have to share this with you simply because I want to have you suggest and advice on what to do.

After my graduation, It's over a year now that I've been staying with my Elder Sister and her husband. No kids yet.  Believing God for a job. So I could be independent of anyone.

The issue is, I wonder how on earth my sister could marry him- an unbeliever. Him and my sister are just like two opposite poles. She's a believer, but the husband claims to be a christian but not ungodly so to speak. At a time, he stopped going to church for a period of 3 to 4 months.

He listens to corrupt songs, and at a time told my sister her parent would burry her soon. What transpired between them I could not tell.

He suddenly becomes rude, demanding that, I,  his brother in-law should wash every plate he uses to eat the food he cooks and dishes out by himself in the presence of my sister.

This is a man who stays at home all the day doing absolutely nothing. He is 40. I am 30.

Each time I return home, the kitchen is always messed up. And deliberately, leaves the kitchen in such a mess, so I could clean them up for him, since I'm staying with them. Yet, he could cook the food by himself, dished it by himself and sleep all all day or probably watch the TV .

My Sister works 7 to 7 daily, and most of the times, she would have been tired , returning from work.

We don't eat together. I wash every plate I personally use. Most times, I cook the food, and have him and my sister eat first. And then I dish mine later.

Lately, I have been observing some fastings, and I rarely go to the kitchen to cook nothing. Yet he demands that must wash every plate he uses to eat whether or not I eat on that day.

My question is, Is it right for my Sister's Husband to be demanding for such, asking me to wash his dirty plates? when he doesn't even care whether I have eaten or not.

He said and I quote " I can't be washing plates in this house, neither is my wife going to do same, you must wash every plate used in this house  henceforth"

To me, it is the hottest insult I have ever received. Not even my own mother would demand for such a dirty request...

Now, I resolved to not eating anymore in the house, probably that would put a stop to the ridicule.

AhAh are u thinking well at all? You are staying with them in their house, so he shld be the one washing the plates abi what stupid question are u asking or your sister wu is ur senior, wu works ALL day long shld be washing the plate for you abi?? or what are u saying? Cum, which side do u cum 4rm sef? At 30? U have a strong moral, disciplinary and psychological problem

You should be worrying about your sister. She's the one in trouble not you.

@OP at 30 years you are still staying with your sister? and you are complaining? you arent grateful tha tyour Brother inlaw is nice enough tpo habor a liability like you? its your type that cause maritals problems for their sibblings!!!! Mr too proud to wash dishes though i am broke and unemplyed, pls pack out of that house and take your wahala some ehre else!! what are u trying to do? are u an agent of Lucifer?
See before i get back from work i better see your things out of that house!!! f00l!!!

Cutehector:
at 30 say I catch myself staying with another relative, I rather live under the bridge!

My brother thank you ooo

" I can't be washing
plates in this house, neither is my wife
going to do same, you must wash every
plate used in this house henceforth" if true,dis statement is harsh and somhow disrespectful.

4C2215131:

What you should have said in your post earlier.

Its not my fault u decided to give my comment ur own meaning

keishablack:
Dude started by making his in-law look bad b4 bringing up his major grievance. There's nothing worse than a poor and proud person all in one. If u were humble enough u probably Wudda had a job by now or perhaps ur waiting till u hit it big. So while ur still waiting, how abt u do the dishes, sweep the house, run errands, even wash his cloths cuz ur living under their roof for free and eating free food.

details of the sign post behind you though

CandiceJay:



Its not my fault u decided to give my comment ur own meaning

Whatever. Each to his own.

4C2215131:

Whatever. Each to his own.

Exactly

If na me be ur sister's hubby, u go even wash my cloth join and also send u on errands. Wat d hell is wrong wit u? U are 30 and he his 40 and u are trying to make comparison. U think say 10yrs na joke. Oh, if he were to be ur direct elder brother, I mean s same blood and he asked u to do such, will have questioned me? If u are satisfy, go find work and try rent a single in a place called Lagos and how easy it is.

Azil:
Poverty and pride.....perfect recipe to get your broke, jobless ass kicked out of that house soon enough. You expect him to do the dishes while you sit in your room looking for verses in the Bible to support your arrogant and condescending religious self abi?

I tire ooo.

uyiekpenm:

Pls respect yourself and leave that house.

Some people just want to talk, didn't you hear him say he has been in search of a job since graduating, would a financial stable man at 30 still live with his parents talk more of his married sister? Circumstances are different for every individual, for the fact you have jobs lined up for you immediately after graduation doesn't mean it's so for everyone. You guys claim to be educated and learned yet you don't know the state of the Nigerian economy, over 10m youths don't have jobs because there's no job. Spoilt kids like you with connected dad's and uncles take up the little position without be worthy of it.

Is it not obvious he wants you to leave his matrimonial home??

Very obvious of course....

At op, i don't think he is being rude, being part of a home, there must be 1 or 2 things u do to mk pple who received u as one them happy. And you are not doing that. Forget ur age, u r the youngest in the house. You hv to wash the plates, help ur sis with her chores, since she is the bread winner in d house. 10 yrs is not 10 days any ways And again u are a kettle than is calling pot black. You think the man is happy that he is doing nothing abi?. So, humble ur self, and pray u find job soon so you can move out and perhaps watch one of ur younger relative pose in ur house doing nothing but to eat, wash his/ her own plate, and sleep, and know how u will feel.

uyiekpenm:
Oga please try to get your own place. What do you expect. At your age you are living with your sister. Smh.
Pls respect yourself and leave that house.

Big mouth

helovesme:
If you want the ridicule to stop then move out of their house oh.

I will advise you endure and remain humble. Keep washing the dishes, tidying the house, etc and intensify your job hunt and most importantly keep praying. Once you get a job, you can then move to your own place.

Best advice so far... Unlike people that bash the op without proper reasoning

I have a job and i can afford my own place, for cultural and family reasons i choose to stay with my sister. However my own brother in law askes me to wash his car, my father, my brothers, my unlces have never asked me to do such a thing before, i do not even always enter the car, even though i was deeply hurt i did it, and would do what ever they ask. I however would not forget, when the time is right or when i am ready i would leave their house for them.

You have to leave the house asap or what other means do you want him to use and ask you out

Suigeneris93:
Seriously? Mr op you're nothing but a shameless hypocrite. So u have money to eat your own food and you've not tot of leaving your sister's matrimonial home. I could pick up a lot of words to use on you this evening but I'm just gonna keep my cool. Dude just get a life

If you can't advice don't insult, didn't you hear him say he
has been in search of a job since graduating, would a
financial stable man at 30 still live with his parents talk
more of his married sister? Circumstances are different for
every individual, for the fact you have jobs lined up for you
immediately after graduation doesn't mean it's so for
everyone. You guys claim to be educated and learned yet
you don't know the state of the Nigerian economy, over 10m
youths don't have jobs because there's no job. Spoilt kids
like you with connected dad's and uncles take up the little
position without being worthy of it.

Suigeneris93:
Seriously? Mr op you're nothing but a shameless hypocrite. So u have money to eat your own food and you've not tot of leaving your sister's matrimonial home. I could pick up a lot of words to use on you this evening but I'm just gonna keep my cool. Dude just get a life

iPray you don't experience hardship

Suigeneris93:
Seriously? Mr op you're nothing but a shameless hypocrite. So u have money to eat your own food and you've not tot of leaving your sister's matrimonial home. I could pick up a lot of words to use on you this evening but I'm just gonna keep my cool. Dude just get a life

iPray you don't experience hardship. Smh

Op you sound funny and proud. I know most young men in Nigeris didn't finish NYSC till they were 26 but you must not allow difficult time make you misbehave. I did those things you listed till I moved out at 28 even though I was working meaning I had an excuse of being tired. Infact I washed their Car before I go to work. Today they serve me with best of dishes and wash it afterward whenever I visit. There is time for everything, don't jump the process.

You can't live in their house and expect them to do the dishes. Be humble even in job search else you'll find it difficult to even accept some offers that you may consider below your status.

Suigeneris93:
Seriously? Mr op you're nothing but a shameless hypocrite. So u have money to eat your own food and you've not tot of leaving your sister's matrimonial home. I could pick up a lot of words to use on you this evening but I'm just gonna keep my cool. Dude just get a life

iPray you don't experience hardship. Smh4u

I was graduated when I was 24 years of age, I was not born with silver spoon, I got a room for myself then and my foam then is less than an inch, even not in my village, but to God be the glory am living in 3 bedroom now with my family a brother in- law of 300l in university, his always waking up 5am everyday,sweep and wash plates, even sometimes telling me not to take my cloth to dry cleanner, you are their brother since u are living with them, if u can't coply with them leave their hous.

cococandy:
Na NL stories na. Always one-sided. He won't say what he did to contribute to the guy's attitude towards him.

He Probably looks down on the BIL as an 'unbeliever' which could be the reason the dude is rubbing the status of his tenancy in his face.

You know how some 'believers' can be condescending to people of different un/belief.

My sister i tire for the guy o

Cutehector:
At 30 u are stayin with ur sister and her family..



Pray for urself bro.

could this be coming from a sane entity? There are guys out there having challenges and is this a way to soothe him? If you didnt have anything meaningful to say, you should have just kept your mouth shut rather than spewing thrash to make ftc

BLESSEDISDLORD:
I was graduated when I was 24 years of age, I was not born with silver spoon, I got a room for myself then and my foam then is less than an inch, even not in my village, but to God be the glory am living in 3 bedroom now with my family a brother in- law of 300l in university, his always waking up 5am everyday,sweep and wash plates, even sometimes telling me not to take my cloth to dry cleanner, you are their brother since u are living with them, if u can't coply with them leave their hous.

na so my guy, carry on bro. I dey feel you

GMartyns:
Hello, I have to share this with you simply because I want to have you suggest and advice on what to do.

After my graduation, It's over a year now that I've been staying with my Elder Sister and her husband. No kids yet.  Believing God for a job. So I could be independent of anyone.

The issue is, I wonder how on earth my sister could marry him- an unbeliever. Him and my sister are just like two opposite poles. She's a believer, but the husband claims to be a christian but not ungodly so to speak. At a time, he stopped going to church for a period of 3 to 4 months.

He listens to corrupt songs, and at a time told my sister her parent would burry her soon. What transpired between them I could not tell.

He suddenly becomes rude, demanding that, I,  his brother in-law should wash every plate he uses to eat the food he cooks and dishes out by himself in the presence of my sister.

This is a man who stays at home all the day doing absolutely nothing. He is 40. I am 30.

Each time I return home, the kitchen is always messed up. And deliberately, leaves the kitchen in such a mess, so I could clean them up for him, since I'm staying with them. Yet, he could cook the food by himself, dished it by himself and sleep all all day or probably watch the TV .

My Sister works 7 to 7 daily, and most of the times, she would have been tired , returning from work.

We don't eat together. I wash every plate I personally use. Most times, I cook the food, and have him and my sister eat first. And then I dish mine later.

Lately, I have been observing some fastings, and I rarely go to the kitchen to cook nothing. Yet he demands that must wash every plate he uses to eat whether or not I eat on that day.

My question is, Is it right for my Sister's Husband to be demanding for such, asking me to wash his dirty plates? when he doesn't even care whether I have eaten or not.

He said and I quote " I can't be washing plates in this house, neither is my wife going to do same, you must wash every plate used in this house  henceforth"

To me, it is the hottest insult I have ever received. Not even my own mother would demand for such a dirty request...

Now, I resolved to not eating anymore in the house, probably that would put a stop to the ridicule.

Bro I understand ur situation becos I have been there. Ignore the insults from these shallow minded feeble Nairalanders. My advise to you is for you to get a place of ur own. Even if its in a shanty and shabby area just get a cheap one room apartment even if you have to sleep on the bare floor pls do and take charge of ur life. I understand u just got out of school but that's not an excuse you could do menial jobs just to get by as long as ur dignity is intact. Your brother in law wants you out hence the attitude. Take charge of ur life bro, nobody owe you nothing.