As I drove to work this morning, a few things occurred to me — the correlation between my singlehood and my driving a car.
Apparently, I am a learner at this and whilst some people see the L sign and make way for me, others drag the road with me like its their birth right and don’t mind cursing me out should I not move at their pace. In relationships, it pretty much the same. Some guys understand that you may not know a lot about how the relationship should work and wouldn’t mind growing with you, some would bully you once you agree to date them and force you into different shady corners (or you allow yourself to be backed in the shady corner).
I used to be an advocate of no road rage as a passenger but now as a driver, my story has changed. Even though, most times, the driver on the other end cannot hear you, when he swerves to your lane, your cuss him out. It is necessary so you just get it off your chest to resume the peace he disturbed. In any ‘ship’, either the friend or rela-type, you need to let it out; let go and let flow. Communication is key. If you don’t, you will end up doing a bigger damage to the ship. It’s just that in the relationship scenario, your partner must be willing to hear you out and adjust but that is not why I am writing this piece, is it?
When accidents happen, people will queue to watch, shake their head in pity, insult any of the drivers that catch their fancy and side with the other one; depending on their mood. So also in relationships. Nobody (ok! Let’s just say most people) is happy that you are happy. The minute any issue crops up and you wash your dirty linen in public, people will be very excited that your story helped break their boredom routine. They will nod, exclaim and encourage you to tell them more but guess what? Ain’t nobody really care! People have their own issues and some are even secretly glad that your relationship has ended. They will laugh at you behind your back and move on to their own business. Notice how it’s only you who remains to pick up the pieces of what is broken?
You have accidents but you don’t stop driving. In fact, you keep driving that rugged car and may sometimes even love it more than the new model for the history you share; the times it got you through. Well, so it is in life. You won’t stop dating simply because your heart was broken (except you join girls in the hood AKA nuns and even there, you will be dating and eventually marry Jesus who, by the way, is a man). You move on. Get out there. Meet new people. Fall in love again and each time, hope for the best.
Finally, you know how one driver does a swerve to your late without indicating and almost causing an accident and all you wanted to do was chase him down and hurt him? Do you also remember other cars driving in front of you whilst asking permission ever so nicely and you just kinda forget the rude driver from earlier? Well, same thing in relationships! Some rude guy will sweep you off your feet and in a moment break your heart. You will try to do everything to get his attention back but whilst that is happening, some other guys will show up and help you forget the misery of your past. As I’ve heard it said ‘the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one’. I realise that there is always that ‘one who got away’. Well, so it is on the road too!
*This is a situation most of us, Lagos (Nigeria) drivers will understand. If it’s different in your case please share! By Enitan Fasuyi


https://medium.com/@enitanfasuyi/driving-relationships-b31fd5d7d2b9#.thtz69f8v