I have a son that i and just 2 friends know about, i really dont see it as a big deal cause its a part of my life i dont explore or talk about. I once asked my fiance early in our relationship what she feels about a guy that as a son out of wed lock but she said she will end the relation instantly. I really Love her, going to the alter with her in 3 weeks, want to marry her and i know we will always be fine so far i keep my little secrete as secrete. a friend as been advising me to tell her, do you think i should or not?

Tell her. If she truly loves you she will stay.

u have to tell her! u are just delaying the inevitable. and trust me, the more u delay it, the worse the consequences get.

You have to tell her. If she can't cope she can move on, lest she finds out later and maltreat the poor boy. It's in the best interest of your son she knows or she might become scornful towards him. Let her move on if she can't cope biko.

Why didn't you inform her since?

It's not too late to inform her,if she accept it...your luck.

It will be Foolish & stupid of u not to tell her... put urself in her shoes & see if such a step is wise.

A secret and 2 of your friends know already?!
Bro,please go ahead and tell her-tonight sef! A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Moreso,how would you feel if she kept such a 'secret' away from you?
If you truly love her, then go ahead and do the needful right away bro!
Que Sera , Sera!

Happy married life in advance!

You beta tell her.. Its jst something dat has to be done

Tell her now

Tell her the truth but i don't want to blame u for not informing her before now or u can as wel meet ur pastor n tell him if only he is understanding

U should ve told her since..
Or ain't u proud of ur son??

pls do tell her....marriage is a life time commitment,who knows wat her reaction wil be if u inform her after d wedding....


a Brocken relationship is ten times better dan a Brocken marriage!

U Jst Av To Tell Her Bro

Wats there? tell her dt wedding day gan! if u want 2 feed her d cake or wine, jst tell her u. av a SON! no hard feelings men

Why didnt you marry the one that you had the baby with. You just want to create problem for the poor innocent girl. Go and marry the one you impregnated and had a baby with, after all if you had no intention of nuptial with her u should have used raincoat

U shld av told her when things were starting to get serious.

It's better u let her knw that ur little secret now,,rather than making it a bombshel later...Pls tell her

You are ashamed of your son so imagine your son feeling same way for you

Basta*rd should marry only a bas*tard. that is justice.

You are d man..tell her are u ashame of telling her abt ur son..tell her she wouldn't have any choice..buh try makke her understand..

Its not that easy, i cant afford to break the Poor Brides heart! she will kill me and trust me she will tell some one else and i may have to answer some questions. I have a good reputation in her family right now and i cant afford to mess it up. why cant a secret remain a secret for life?

Are you kidding me

What happened to the whole time you were dating?


If you love her you will not ruin her life like this!!

You are wicked!!!
If she was the one hiding that kinda secret from you, would you have still gone ahead to marry her?
Look at the kinda foundation you want to lay in your marriage. Tomorrow you will come & tell us how to advise you on building trust in your relationship after destroying it with such secret.
You better tell her & pray she loves you enough not to leave you.

Having a kid outside is not a big deal but keeping it from the woman you're about to marry is a big deal. Just ask yourself, "will you take it"?

I avoided bashing you cos of your moniker

Tell her now and bear the short-term pain of canceling your wedding(it's obvious she will) or let her find out in future and you end up bearing the long-term pain of a shattered home.

Either way, you will pay for being silly. Gosh, what were you thinking?

Are you not proud of being a father when your mates are sleeping in TB Joshua's synagogue for same reason?

All you people who are being so passive with OP, like implying that if the woman doesn't accept it, she is in the wrong.

If a female authored this thread, una would be cursing her.

Just go and tell her, the fact that you were in a relationship with her for any length of time, not to talk of about to marry her? And she doesn't know? That's so wrong of you.

You have to tell her. It's an important part of your life and you're asking her to join her life with yours by marrying. She HAS to know.

thank God it came from the side of the man because if it were to be the woman u will only hear THESE HOES ARE NOT LOYAL HERE

cruzita:
thank God it came from the side of the man because if it were to be the woman u will only hear THESE HOES ARE NOT LOYAL HERE

lol are u taking words from guys here seriously most of them are just bitter people who have been treated badly



as for u. @op lemme ask u a question would u accept a woman who already had a baby before .....am sure the answer is NO


if I were in her shoes ooo I don't think I will marry u even tho u told me earlier because I'll keep wondering why u broke up with the gal that had your child, I'll feel u might not really love me either and might dump me after marriage for another fresh woman .. ... and is there any assurance for her when u fight u won't go knocking your ex's door for comfort .



hmmm may God help us

Timileyin:
Its not that easy, i cant afford to break the Poor Brides heart! she will kill me and trust me she will tell some one else and i may have to answer some questions. I have a good reputation in her family right now and i cant afford to mess it up. why cant a secret remain a secret for life?

. Hey its not ur reputation u shld be after now. Dat u have a son isnt an abormination,afterall its better dan supporting abotion. My elder bro was once in such fix buh told d wife to be(mind u,no1 will welcome it with an open hand. Not even i myself) she reasoned,but she loved him n even hid it from d dad(her best frnd) only told her mum. Till now no1 in d family knws only d mum. As a matter of fact she is asking 4 d boy to be brought to her to be practising motherhood. If she loves u,definitely she will stay ok. U r a man talk to ur woman. But rem dat even if u dont tell her,she will one day find out n i guess dat wouldnt be funny at all. Talk to ur love,she will concur except she isnt URS

Tell her
Tell her
Tell her
Tell her
Tell her
I repeat Telllllllllllll Herrrrrrr
Habah! Things like this destroy marriages!
Why must u keep it a secret and you are getting married in weeks!!!