I'm a guy in my early 30s I got married a couple years ago have two wonderful kids

Before I got married my wife introduced a guy to me as her cousin.... long story short.. after we got married I found they weren't related.. she has been working with him at his clinic.. I finally told her to stop after he bought her a phone and paid for a u.s trip for her.. she told me she has resigned.. I was drinking with an employee of the clinic.. and he told me.. my wife never resigned... instead she dropped a letter for leave of absence.. I confronted her with the information... she fought me and made a scene, now I feel I'm done with the marriage... what do I do... I love her but this ish is at the point where I feel I made a mistake... like she says love isn't enough to keep a marriage.. by the way I do everything in my power to keep her happy

Bro, my childish advice is that don't ever consider Divorce as a way out, you guyz needs to iron things out and make necessary corrections. Think of the love you have for her and know that if you guyz got separated, your children will be badly affected. God bless your home.

Hmmmm. Calm down, think tinz thru, nd take it slow. May God grant u more wisdom.

mature men and women your attentions are needed here.....for me am here to read comments

km

Your wife sounds like a cu.nt, no offense though
It would seems as though your wifey doesn't take you seriously, she doesn't listen to you
She does whatever the Bleep she wants without considering how you'd feel, she lies to your face even though she knows you'd find out
Its almost like you have no control over this woman

Maybe you're a softy at heart? You may have to learn the act of manliness if you wanna save your marriage

You want to get Divorced Because your Wife Refused To Resign From her Job?
I see
Matured People talk to this Matured Man Biko

There's no going back here, you guys already have two kids, so pretty much, I fnk the both of you need to sit down and talk things out like real adults. More importantly, I don't fnk it was a wise move telling her to stop working..Even though you have the power to do so, as her hubby, but the best thing to have done, is let her know how much you trust her, despite your suspicions of anything going on. And most of all, just be calm about the whole thing. Women have are very susceptible to men with patience, slow to anger and extremely caring(Always complimenting and rendering advises and telling them how much they mean to you)....Most men only focus on the secondary duties of husband-hood, which is providing for the woman physically. They always leave out the woman's emotional satisfaction, which is supposed to be primary. If you can win a woman's emotional state of well being, you can win her physical and mental state of well being as well. If you had stopped doing all the above, i fnk it's high time you start again. No matter how roguery she might be going, because you are doing all the above, her conscience won't give her a peace of mind. But if you want to act all bossy and powerful, especially when she's gone to school and has a qualification almost equally intelligent and successful has you, then you'd have to be very meticulous with your approach, otherwise bare the consequences. If she lied to you about resigning, then be sure, shes hiding more secretes from you. And if a woman can't be completely honest to her man, then it means someone else out there has won her trust, which dosen't add up, because you are betrothed to her. The only rational explanation is this, someone else is exhibiting all the stated above to her in and she's living in the moment. Right from d days of EVE in the bible, it is clear that women can be very emotional and caught up in the moment. Honestly, I strongly believe you gise can sort things out. Forgiveness is not only to your neighbours or friends,but also to your family. And she is your family, not just some woman that bore you children. Remember the prodigal son, despite his actions, he was accepted back by his father. Your wife is your family too. Most men just see women as one that bares child for them, No she's also your family, the same way your two lovely kids are family to you, is the same way your wife should be too. And no matter how your two children hurt you, I'm sure you won't leave them, not to talk of disowning them. If your wife is not divorcing you or anything, don't be the one to do so. Again, Let the love and forgiveness of the almighty God be shared abroad in your heart. IJN. Stay blessed.

Stamp ur feet on the ground and make sure she doesn't disobey you. C'mon you're the man and you ought to show actions with words. Except of course, she never respected you from the word go. If she still doesn't budge, gradually reduce all benefits that she receives until there's none whatsoever. If she still doesn't budge, my brother, divorce is the sure thing

tishbite709:
Bro, my childish advice is that don't ever consider Divorce as a way out, you guyz needs to iron things out and make necessary corrections. Think of the love you have for her and know that if you guyz got separated, your children will be badly affected. God bless your home.

Thanks bro.. I'm just in a bad way right now.. I appreciate you and your advice

Ragner:
You want to get Divorced Because your Wife Refused To Resign From her Job?

I see

Matured People talk to this Matured Man Biko

Please read what I wrote.. I actually don't want to divorce.. but with the lies and what seems apparent..

row2ray:
I'm a guy in my early 30s I got married a couple years ago have two wonderful kids

Before I got married my wife introduced a guy to me as her cousin.... long story short.. after we got married I found they weren't related.. she has been working with him at his clinic.. I finally told her to stop after he bought her a phone and paid for a u.s trip for her.. she told me she has resigned.. I was drinking with an employee of the clinic.. and he told me.. my wife never resigned... instead she dropped a letter for leave of absence.. I confronted her with the information... she fought me and made a scene, now I feel I'm done with the marriage... what do I do... I love her but this ish is at the point where I feel I made a mistake... like she says love isn't enough to keep a marriage.. by the way I do everything in my power to keep her happy

Your wife has been cheating on you with her cousin cum lover....she loves the guy but knowing too well that the guy wasn't ready to marry her (maybe the guy was already married when they met, maybe the guy didn't like her to the extent of making her his wife, maybe...maybe not)....and then your wife needed to get married and at the same time enjoy her cousin cum lover's financial/work assistance, she had to marry you to cure her "spinsterhood" while carrying on with her cousin cum lover behind you.

That is what they call using one stone to kill three birds....what a smart woman you married, lucky you

If I were you...guess what I would do I don't pray to be in your shoes...seek for God's direction on this, wish you luck

DrTizzle:

There's no going back here, you guys already have two kids, so pretty much, I fnk the both of you need to sit down and talk things out like real adults. More importantly, I don't fnk it was a wise move telling her to stop working..Even though you have the power to do so, as her hubby, but the best thing to have done, is let her know how much you trust her, despite your suspicions of anything going on. And most of all, just be calm about the whole thing. Women have are very susceptible to men with patience, slow to anger and extremely caring(Always complimenting and rendering advises and telling them how much they mean to you)....Most men only focus on the secondary duties of husband-hood, which is providing for the woman physically. They always leave out the woman's emotional satisfaction, which is supposed to be primary. If you can win a woman's emotional state of well being, you can win her physical and mental state of well being as well. If you had stopped doing all the above, i fnk it's high time you start again. No matter how roguery she might be going, because you are doing all the above, her conscience won't give her a peace of mind. But if you want to act all bossy and powerful, especially when she's gone to school and has a qualification almost equally intelligent and successful has you, then you'd have to be very meticulous with your approach, otherwise bare the consequences. If she lied to you about resigning, then be sure, shes hiding more secretes from you. And if a woman can't be completely honest to her man, then it means someone else out there has won her trust, which dosen't add up, because you are betrothed to her. The only rational explanation is this, someone else is exhibiting all the stated above to her in and she's living in the moment. Right from d days of EVE in the bible, it is clear that women can be very emotional and caught up in the moment. Honestly, I strongly believe you gise can sort things out. Forgiveness is not only to your neighbours or friends,but also to your family. And she is your family, not just some woman that bore you children. Remember the prodigal son, despite his actions, he was accepted back by his father. Your wife is your family too. Most men just see women as one that bares child for them, No she's also your family, the same way your two lovely kids are family to you, is the same way your wife should be too. And no matter how your two children hurt you, I'm sure you won't leave them, not to talk of disowning them. If your wife is not divorcing you or anything, don't be the one to do so. Again, Let the love and forgiveness of the almighty God be shared abroad in your heart. IJN. Stay blessed.

Thanks.. but the lie about a relationship.. BTW her younger bro actually told me the guy is her ex... she says I lied about it.. but that's what he said before I found out she didn't resign

divorce shouldn't be an option for now ,u can still talk things over and by Gods grace everything will be ok

That's simply the ex syndrome. I can bet she probably dated him in the past and finding it difficult to let go. Some ladies sha. Jst inform your pastor or her parent and seek for their advice.

bro,your wife is a liar and a cheat! it's obvious she's bonking this guy,what you do with this knowledge is left to you. good luck.

in our own Yoruba culture, if a woman is flinging or keeping concubines or extra marital affairs, she might be liable to kill her husband at the long run.

It is either u stay in your marriage and be insecure like a stranger and be a slave to her acts or your divorce her and be forever happy.

People are only being sentimental here, divorce is the key bro.

Hmmph.... I did things because of my woman.. she had someone in school who made her sit on the floor in public.. I looked for him found him and made him do the same... the beat him unconscious... that was the last time I ever did anything against a man over a woman
I don't know if I'm heart broken or just crazy pissed.. drinking right now.. again.. the pain feels physical.. I broke a security door yesterday.. hit it so hard my wedding ring cut into my flesh

Shey na here u think say u go get mature response?

@ smellymouth some people actually have already commented with maturity.. come to think of it you are the only one who hasn't said anything reasonable.. for or against

row2ray:
@ smellymouth some people actually have already commented with maturity.. come to think of it you are the only one who hasn't said anything reasonable.. for or against

OK, lemme be candid with you. I think your wife is in love with someone else, she married u not put of love but what she was getting from u,

My best advice? Everything depends on u bro, have u tried talking to her? I won't advice u to walk away, u ve got kids, it's gonna be difficult for the kids to come to terms with the divorce..
Talk to her, make her see reasons, don't walk away so fast.

Thanks

row2ray:


Please read what I wrote.. I actually don't want to divorce.. but with the lies and what seems apparent..

You Made her Lie to you. Why would you Tell a Grown up to Quit Her Job Simply because you're Suspicious of Something that Might not even Exist?

Ragner:


You Made her Lie to you. Why would you Tell a Grown up to Quit Her Job Simply because you're Suspicious of Something that Might not even Exist?

I told her to quit after she lied and I found out

She's definitely cheating, divorce her asap

row2ray:


I told her to quit after she lied and I found out

Ok then. She's Your Wife Mr.
None of us where there when you Proposed to her or Rumble in the sheets to bring forth your 2Kids. So I Assume you Know her Very well and Better.

Make any Decision from your Heart and Discard what everyone else Says.

My 2Cents

Lemme summon Decker & Toks2008 in issue(s} like this.

START FROM THE BEGINNING AND PLAY THE GENTLEMAN. GETTING DRUNK DON'T ISN'T AN ESCAPE ITS A SHOW OF WEAKNESS SO IS BREAKING THINGS THATS LIKE A KID THROWING TANTRUMS. BEFORE YOU START TAKING THE EASY DOOR OF DIVORCE CONSIDER DOING THIS FEW THING.
START FROM THE BEGINNING INVITE THE SO CALLED "COUSIN/CLINIC OWNER" FOR LUNCH OR DINNER AND INTERACT WITH BOTH YOUR WIFE AND HER "SUSPECTED LOVER" WHILE OBSERVING THEM.
2. SIT DOWN WITH YOUR WIFE AND DISCUSS WHY YOU WANT HER TO RESIGN AND BE READY TO HEAR I SAID HEAR (LISTEN, HEAR AND REASON FROM HER VIEW) WHY SHE DIDN'T
3. BE READY AND WILLING TO SUCCUMB TO SUPERIOR REASONING IF HER POINTS ARE SUPERIOR.
4. LISTEN TO DrTizzle

ALWAYS REMEMBER REAL MEN WIN WITH THEIR BRAINS AND HEART NOT BY Brute force.

row2ray:
I'm a guy in my early 30s I got married a couple years ago have two wonderful kids

Before I got married my wife introduced a guy to me as her cousin.... long story short.. after we got married I found they weren't related.. she has been working with him at his clinic.. I finally told her to stop after he bought her a phone and paid for a u.s trip for her.. she told me she has resigned.. I was drinking with an employee of the clinic.. and he told me.. my wife never resigned... instead she dropped a letter for leave of absence.. I confronted her with the information... she fought me and made a scene, now I feel I'm done with the marriage... what do I do... I love her but this ish is at the point where I feel I made a mistake... like she says love isn't enough to keep a marriage.. by the way I do everything in my power to keep her happy

Shits do happen in relationships and this is one of them.

It is one thing for a lady to be repentant if found wanting and another to act with impunity over any form of infidelity allegations.

This is my advice,first and formost i would like you to do a DNA test on those children except they all resembled you with serious convincing.
Secondly,if you really love her,sit her as down and throw the cards at her which is to maintain a status quo or leave the marriage and if she decides to leave please let her go,its a free world.

Remember as i wrote, shits happen in life and we all must be expected to confront it head on.

Hope this helps.

Man you need to realize you are loving the fake woman as your wife. Lied he is her cousin but later you got to know they were not related after marriage. Paid her US trip for her alone and she lied to have resigned from her work but later discovered that she did no such thing.


Men my only advice for you now is to talk the hair or saliva of your kids I assume to the nearest hospital that are capable for DNA test. God is just trying to save your life and you are talking about love.


The outcome of this advice should determine your next step, it is better you know the reason you gonna consider your home and marriage.


She as told you love isn’t enough to keep a marriage and that what she believes you offer.
Wise up and be a man



Merry Christmas