@ Theseeker
Spot on I was thinkin about that as well. why didn't he open the topic as my fiance insults me? not american citizenship bs? ppl just love to harp that Nigerianamerican women especially nurses are bad mouthed and have no respect for men. as a respentative I say that is so false. why not bring us what brought about the argument. I feel ure just trying to prove that u don't need her citizenship and ignoring her needs.

in a relationship there is compromise, u might be bringing the drama because obviously u trying hard to prove that u don't want to come here.

and in spite of what u said, millions of nigerians apply for visa everyday. I see someone new coming over every month.
I did the same thing ur girl did last because the drama with my bf was causing me so much headache I had to take off and beg his friends and family to talk to him. but honestly I found all our quareling stemmed from HIM trying to prove that he didn't need a citizenship either, and every small talk we would have would blow up into a quarell. be open and honest with her man, obviously if she sees a quarell with u the its somethings yal need to sit down and discuss seriously.

@ Akintunde

You're right, bruv. Have a serious discussion with her. Don't settle for mere remorse and apology. Tell her it has to stop, otherwise. . .

@ Theseeker
Spot on I was thinkin about that as well. why didn't he open the topic as my fiance insults me? not american citizenship bs? ppl just love to harp that Nigerianamerican women especially nurses are bad mouthed and have no respect for men. as a respentative I say that is so false. why not bring us what brought about the argument. I feel ure just trying to prove that u don't need her citizenship and ignoring her needs.

It's simple. She wasn't like that till she became an American! And if your claim that he's "ignoring her needs" (as if you're an eyewitness) were true, then why the ceaseless apologies?  

the ceaseless apologies is because she loves him duhh! even though I feel I wasn't wrong in what I said to my own bf I still bent down and begged and pleaded for his forgiveness.
simple.
men are available everywhere, she bent down because she wants only him, and she wants it to work.

if she was a nurse she would have been a citizen meaning she would have been in the states. the simple fact how the poster chose to wrote my fiance insults because she is a citizen shows where his focus is. every little thing u blame it because she has a citizenship. mshew!

platinum what are you talking about? do you understand the topic at all?

if it woulda been my fiance started to rainf insults after 2 years of relationship WITHOUT the mention of an American citizenship I can bet my tail the responses would be hella different.

What makes you so sure of your claims, despite all what the person affected has said? Or is it because this has to do with a man complaining about the recklessness of his fiance? Would you have reacted the same way if it was a woman that raised the issue?


And you sound so biased. Extremely biased. Talking as if you know everything that happens between these two people.  

For the umpteenth time, the guy said he included "Because of Her American Passport" in the topic because she wasn't like this until she got the passport! He thinks that's the reason. Is that too hard to figure out?

aktunde:


And for those who think I might be after her passport. Wetin we dey go find for yankee? No be money? Why would I be so crazy enough to abandon my good job here, abandon my post graduate studies half way and run to a country where they are currently laying off their own citizens from work? She is only lucky to retain her job, because she is in the health department of the U.S. What of me wey I no dey that sector? What would be my hope there? I mean, what would be my hope there, not as a just a black guy alone, but as a Nigerian? I no dey mad now! To shed more light on this issue, my decision not to abandon my job for now at least till the recession goes down, as well as dropping my postgraduate studies half way, is one of the reasons she picks up quarrel with me. That is often when she uses words like "FOOL" and other nasty languages. But for what ever reason, I do not expect my wife to be to rain down those nasty words on me.
In short, thank you every one.

Now it is adding up better. Bro i think she really wants you. She is kinda frustrated that you have not valued being with her more than your job. She can't understand why you will not be running to yankee when your princess is there. I think she also feels that naija is shit. She also thinks she can take care of you until you settle forgetting the mail ego and for resident doctor here in naija . Depending on how far u have gone, it may be better to finish up your residency before going over. She is 24 ffs. No need to rush. she needs to trust you. if you are a senior reg, mate, not need abandoning half way.  I know you earn a lot esp with CONTIS. Nothing to run away for considering the stress.  OK consider her and forgive her BUT she is abusive and i think she may not stop that when you are married. She has taken the liberal world she finds herself too much into her vein. not to cool. Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse. Thread carefully!

david I know all to well, we're just hearing his side, abeg let the woman come on here too. Why should it matter to him if she has a citizenship if it doesn't matter to him?

But really is it better to finish your degree there or is it better to come here and work on it?

Dont you have to take some sort of extra classes here to use your Medical degree here?

david I know all to well, we're just hearing his side, abeg let the woman come on here too.

And I hope when next a woman comes on here to tell a sob story of how her man maltreats and disrespects her, you won't make any comments or partake in her pity-party until you hear from the man's side

I re read the original post, he said that 2 months ago she started acting funny. doesn't mean she got her papers 2 months ago, so I don't see how her citizenship has anything to do with this.

I am not on her side, there are two sides to a coin and its quite suspicious when he mentions american citizenship when she been having her papers that shows me a shift of focus.

.

I have told you the problem. . . .she's obviously missing your magic stick After all the serious talk,promise her correct filing for 2 weeks as advised,she'll definitely calm do. . . .trust me

1st off, d answer 2 d question is no, Bleep Shit
2ndly @ Poster, U re still in Nigeria & she`s callin U names & stuffs, remember D law of the United States dat its D woman dat has much more power dan d man, for me, am not 2 sure she`s d right one for U cuz wat assurance do u av dat wen u guys are togeda in yankee, she wont raise alarm & God forbid( U being deported) (hope u understand wat am sayin) u have to b very sure b4 u tie any kot wit her cuz wit dat attitide, hmmmmmmmmmm, but just erase 1 tin from ur mind and wich is dat she has a Blue P, Bleep Blue or red P, am sure ur own wife ll come wen its d right time, and am proud of u at ur age wiv all u ve achieved, so just keep doin it right dawg

Just tell her to stop being rude. That you dont appeciate that kind of language especially if you dont reciprocate like that.

December is just around the corner- did something happen to make her think you're reconsidering the marriage.

noble_gas1:

1st off, d answer 2 d question is no, Bleep Shit
2ndly @ Poster, U re still in Nigeria & she`s callin U names & stuffs, remember D law of the United States dat its D woman dat has much more power dan d man, for me, am not 2 sure she`s d right one for U cuz wat assurance do u av dat wen u guys are togeda in yankee, she wont raise alarm & God forbid( U being deported) (hope u understand wat am sayin) u have to b very sure b4 u tie any kot wit her cuz wit dat attitide, hmmmmmmmmmm, but just erase 1 tin from ur mind and wich is dat she has a Blue P, Bleep Blue or red P, am sure ur own wife ll come wen its d right time, and am proud of u at ur age wiv all u ve achieved, so just keep doin it right dawg

@aktunde, he is right but also she could be going through some sort of frustrations over there which means you should be able to communicate with her well and tell her your mind if you are sure, you are not the cause and if no change, then you know what decision to make. It is not worth it, if it won't bring you peace.

Why the emphasis on American Passport?
Anyway all the sorries are meaningless if she continues repeating the same offenses over and again.
I don't see how it's going to change with marriage u nless you somehow fix it now.

@topic
Say wetin happen? wetin i wan use passport do?

C2H5OH:

Why the emphasis on American Passport?
Anyway all the sorries are meaningless if she continues repeating the same offenses over and again.
I don't see how it's going to change with marriage u nless you somehow fix it now.

I have seen it and it does happen. Most times they(some) feel they are doing you a very big and huge favor and sometimes take you for granted or make you kiss their feet.Much emphasis is placed on American passport because it is like the center of the world. Once you have an American passport, you are guaranteed and could travel anywhere in this world. It is much easier.

Diva1:

@aktunde, he is right but also she could be going through some sort of frustrations over there which means you should be able to communicate with her well and tell her your mind if you are sure, you are not the cause and if no change, then you know what decision to make. It is not worth it, if it won't bring you peace.

Reeks of immaturity to me.  She is going through some stuff is not a valid reason to disrespect your significant other.

Diva1:

I have seen it and it does happen. Much emphasis is placed on American passport because it is like the center of the world. Once you have an American passport, you are guaranteed and could travel anywhere in this world. It is much easier.

Are you suggesting he feed his man-balls to the dogs and marry her for papers instead of standing up for himself?

C2H5OH:

Reeks of immaturity to me. She is going through some stuff is not a valid reason to disrespect your significant other.

C2H5OH:

Are you suggesting he feed his man-balls to the dogs and marry her for papers instead of standing up for himself?

Did u read my initial reply? I never supported her insulting him. This is what I wrote in support of what noble_gas1 wrote.

Diva1:

@aktunde, he is right but also she could be going through some sort of frustrations over there which means you should be able to communicate with her well and tell her your mind if you are sure, you are not the cause and if no change, then you know what decision to make. It is not worth it, if it won't bring you peace.

.

chaircover:

I can only offer advice from a woman's point of view. Women generally speaking like strong, focused men they can rely on and are able to seek reassurance from him. Women need to know that there is someone they can count on & trust; someone who will care for them & protect them etc

The sudden disrespect is most likely a unconscious action from your girlfriend in response to her feeling that for whatever reason she feels she cannot trust you to take care of her, emotionally, financially, spiritually etc

Along the line you may have gone "soft"; it could be that you have asked her for money, made it too obvious that you need the citizenship, or she hasn't heard you tabling your plans and how you intend to care for her if you do arrive in the USA etc

It does sound like an unconscious action and once she realises her mistake, she is remorseful and apologises & asks for forgiveness.

My advise to you is to put the American citizen thing out of your mind and concentrate on being there for your other half & being a man. Don't lose your self pride and respect because you want to travel to the USA

I suggest that if possibe, just go for a visit for a few weeks. Take enough money with you and do most of the spending. Show her that you are the man and irrespective of how much she earns you are still in charge and are more than capable of taking care of her.

Please please please finish whatever course you are doing in Nigeria before you emigrate to the USA. Do not sell yourself cheap because of citizenship. Things are not as easy as people portray over there/here and emigrating in the middle of a recession with only a few skills will do you no favours.

Wishing you good Luck

That's right. Couldn't agree less.

the stress of being a nurse is horrible, now poster you talked abt her having a great job plus great pay any doctor in nigeria would envy. na real stress be that my brother. maybe it is the tip of iceberg you are seeing maybe not

there are many foul words in the US and it is easy to pick on them. so take am easy, but sha e get as e be
phew! CNN announced this morning medical pple claim that using bleeps word help cool off it takes a lot to refuse to pick up oyinbo foul words. anyway, take a trip down before the real wedding proper (no become ilegal o) and see for ya self.

Than you all. I'm really grateful.

aktunde:

Than you all. I'm really grateful.

Don't forget the GBOLA o !

Diva1:

Did u read my initial reply? I never supported her insulting him. This is what I wrote in support of what noble_gas1 wrote.

Good good good.  I for say.