’s not my fault if I don’t believe in jazz…
I mean for all we freshly raised kids, where would we get the opportunity to see all those kinds of things
Is it in the alleys, avenues and boulevards of Ikoyi where I was raised that someone would just stay and change to goat?

Those things only happen in all those poor poor areas and y’all know I’m too fresh to have grown up there, right? (I hear some of you saying, ” Uncle u can lie oh!!!”…shut up my friend, that’s what uncles are for)

I spent most of my holidays at Orile with my cousins and there was one “Baba” in the next compound, who they so strongly believed was the black cat we always saw on the kpan (by the way, only we Ikoyi kids will know that this means zinc) of the next compound constantly crying ‘meow meow’ at night.
My argument in this matter was simple:
Firstly,
If you really possessed the ability to change into an animal, please for heaven’s sake, why not change into a Lion or another wicked animal for that matter? Why must it always be snake, cat, goat or worse still, like we see in some movies, a full grown man will decide to change into a tortoise…(kai! Nollywood kwenu!)
Secondly, why the old baba will refuse to sleep and decide that he will use all night to be jumping from roof to roof shouting ‘meow meow’ beats me…
But I love this Country!

I had already resigned to the fact that I would only be a believer any day I experienced this whole jazz thing first hand… and VOOM! My prayers were answered!
I was fortunate to have served in Ogun state, Abeokuta (the state capital) to be precise.
And need I say it was the best year of my life?
Not necessarily because I was posted to a polytechnic where the HOD decided I would lecture some of the introductory computer courses to a class of 650 with over 400 of them being Ladies.
…Some of you are shouting,” HEI !!! ” Why must u always have a corrupt mind eh! Why?
Cant u just lecture and LECture and LECTUre (licks lips) until everyone has been fully LECTURED Can I get an amen somebody…..
This story though is not about my experience while lecturing there…don’t be disappointed, I’ll give you that gist another time.
It was sha tough… awon obinrin will be busy cutting eye and giving you this ‘do you want some of this’ look and sometimes they took it the extra mile by licking their lips.
Agbaya like me, who is supposed to be teaching Introductory computing, will find myself saying something like
“when u want to lick the mouse….sorry! Ermm click the mouse”
The yeye girl will now give a knowing smile like “Ehen! I don catch am!”
At a point if I come class na only one place I dey face before I talk another rubbish and undermine my reputation…

As would be the case, without the intervention of ASUU or ASUP, after months of lecturing the school finally closed for the semester. Students went home and the town became very boring…
Most of my other colleagues worked in secondary schools as moral instruction teachers…. I kid you not…moral instruction oh!… That’s what they gave to one of my very immoral guy at the primary school he was finally able to get as PPA, even with all his afro and freshness.
So, out of boredom, I decided to travel and visit some other parts of the state. I definitely wasn’t going back to Lagos.
After pinging my available friends I went to the park and boarded a bus.
IJEBU-ODE HERE I COME……
Contrary to what you might have heard,
it is a very lovely town
The second Largest after the state capital. I, who was thinking of how deep a village it was going to be, was actually surprised at what I saw when I alighted from the bus at the park. A mini city far from all the underdevelopment associated with villages:
Good roads, street lights in some areas, well built houses… I was like; wow!!! Until I looked at the address I had been sent and realized I had not yet arrived at my destination.
The ping I got stated that I should flag down a bike and it should take me to a place, where I should get another bike to take me to another place, then enter canoe to another place after which I will then take a scooter to another place…gotcha, right? LOOOOL
na me, stephen, dem go send address wey contain enter water I go come carry my big head dey go…
hian!

Anyway…
I took the first bike, and as we progressed inwards, the entire city landscape was swallowed slowly by trees and shrubbery giving birth to a more ‘village like’ ambiance.
I for say! No be NYSC again?....


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