Kunle is 35 today, like every young lad, kunle’s only dream was to get married very early to Fali, the love of his life

Unperturbed by what the future has in store for him, kunle’s was very certain life for him would be a disney story – happily ever after

It was all cheerful enthusiasm and glee when Kunle rounded up his masters at the Obafemi awolowo university, finally, I can get a job and settle down with Falilat, he said.

In this part of the world, it takes a tad of luck, exceptional miracles and financial inheritance to be all you plan to be

Kunle left Obafemi Awolowo University back to Lagos with his shoulders high, he was so confident that his services and unique talent was needed somewhere in a reputable organization

The Nigerian work system has a very nice way of making job applicants wait for a job, all Kunle was ever told is “we will get back to you”

Despite the appalling-obscene electricity the country was riddled with, Kunle’s Nokia X3 was always charged, he spent all his NYSC allowances on fuel and nairabet – who could blame him? The only reason most Nigerian youths could afford a pair of jeans today is because betting agencies are steadily paying the unemployment/job seekers allowance

Falilat was not having any of it, She will be 28 by June, pressure from her family was static and invariable, Fali’s mother would wake her up in the midnight to remind her how Bola her younger cousin is now married to one rich man’s son and how all her classmates are doing well

The Nigerian society has no respect and courtesy for single women, they are treated with utter disdain and lack of respect

There was no doubt in sight, Falilat loves Kunle to the moon and back, but she has began to stink in the presence of her very own parents. Fali’s father was ready to trade her on Olx for anything that was ready to marry her immediately

Kunle could barely afford to feed himself, let alone another person, he encouraged Fali to wait a little longer until he gets a better paying job to secure an apartment first. Fali was not having any of it, she reiterated; is it until I turn 30 and wrinkled before you marry me?

In the truth, Nigerian men already feel like they have to provide, it is always disheartening to see ladies speaking down on a man’s finances

True love they say never die, Fali stood by her man, apologized for her utterances. The truth is, when a woman who usually encourages you starts talking you down, you need to calm down and run a check before you spark off as most times they are always as a result of transferred aggression – She might be getting a constant nag from her family or all her friends walked down the aisle

On Kunle 32nd Birthday, he finally got a good paying job, he was offered N50,000 for a start, he would have been paid much lesser, thank God for his masters degree, it was just enough to get him an additional N10,000

You might be angry I mentioned ordinary N50,000 as a good paying job, but if we are being real, most employers know the situation in the labour market, if you don’t take it, one million jobless graduates with a first class PhD in Harvard will roll on the ground to take it. Very unfortunate

Focusing on the brighter part, Kunle can now afford to take Fali on a date, visit the cinemas every first sunday of the month

You may be asking be the same question on my mind right now, which is; “why are they not married ?” well, a room and parlour self contain is just one million naira in Lekki, but who wants to live in Lekki anyway, when you can just pay N400,000 per annum in Ikeja. Fair right?

It takes more than six months to save up to 400k to get an apartment, furnish the apartment before preparing for marriage

Kunle is 35 today, married and working, Kunle is a hardworking Nigerian with nothing to show for it, this is not a story to share with boys, it will make them dread the future and feel tirelessly remorseful for growing up each day

So I ask, is there a way we can curb this? Kindly share a word or two with us if you have had similar experiences, you might be helping a confuse single old man out there


http://www.naijanewsrave.com/why-nigerian-men-dont-marry-early/

If our graduates can get good jobs or have access to loans to start up businesses, den young men won't find it dificult to settle down early... well am writing abt those who r responsible and who wish to settle down early

All you wrote is the honest truth....its kinda hard for men than the ladies actually understands...

your monthly earnings is 50,000 naira,you work at ikoyi while you live at ipaja....you spend almost 2/3 of the salary on transportation.....i know you are wondering while cant he rent an apartment in ikoyi or surulere or lagos island thats a bit closer....Yes he can but it will take years to come up with annual rents...
cheap ikoyi apartment may cos 1million per ann while surelere and Lagos island may cos 500-600 thousands per year...pls how long will it take a 50,000 salary earner to come up with such rent with family pressures and personal basic needs like feeding and transportation...

with all this when will you think of getting married

Nigeria problem is kinda complex....Govt need to start with very cheap housing schemes,reduce or ban importation,improve value of our currency,devalue education as priority,introduce school leaving loans for enterpreneurship,encourage handiworks,create jobs and improve standard of living

Front page, here we come.

Hopefully, Oga lalasticlala will put this on frontpage, we need more views, particularly from those who just got married in this drastic time

Naija sha... Many young guys now shy away from marriage because they can't afford to feed themselves talkless of a woman and a child. I have a neighbour who just graduated and works in a secondary school, the Niqqa uses 'Youth Empowerment' (Naira Bet) to supplement his monthly income of 40k. He told me Marriage is not even in his list at all at all.
Not that men are not ready to get married they are but things are not smiling at all, no man wants to get married and not be able to feed his wife and child, its just the society and country we are. Boys wants to have ENOUGH before they get married.

Assuming as a young graduate @ 24, + 6months @ home b4 NYSC 1yr. Come find job for 3yrs, come finally get a job of @most 100k, den, I need an apartment, for Ngozika housing estate, na 650k per anum, and I must pay for 2yrs + agent fee and maintenance allowance of around 100k(50/50).

My 1yr salary is 1.2mill. And I need roughly 1.4 million for my rents, automatically, 1yr is gone, heading to the 2nd yr to complete my rent to 1.4, meanwhile out of the 1yr 1.2, I need a small shelter over my head, I need to feed, I need transportation, I need to change clothes, no be person pay my school fees? I also have to send money home, what do I have left? Maybe 200k or so, which means if I continue like that, I will have to save for the next 7yrs to pay rent.


I never furnish am oh, I never buy car oh. If I go by such routine of legit money, na I'm be say, I will marry @ 40+.



But our naija babe's no go understand, they all want me to be driving a toyota spider @ 25 + an apartment well furnished and den wear sharp clothes to entice her, I never include marriage expenses oh. And they no want marry criminals oh, dem no even wan marry yahoo boys( they can date dem), dem no go wan near ritualists.

After telling you what they ideal man will be like,


Which kind God fearing man with decent pay and younger with age can afford all these demands?


Later u will be telling me that naija boys are all criminals, why wouldn't they be? When the society has already set a standard which they must make b4 dey can be integrated into d same society.




I smh for anyone that will pressure to marry on time. because me? I must make am b4 I marry.

They marry late cos dats wen dey feel more matured to understand women nd most of them wud have acquired enof wealth dey feel can b enof to care for their future families

Bt early marriage is good too if u prepare it all depends on who u are nd wat u want

before the solutions, let's turn to the problems taking a clue from the 70's.


1.women in workforce.
before neo-colonialism immense our beautiful ancient culture, women played lesser role in the economy. young adults(male) were allocated farmland either from communities or families. proceeds from these farmlands gave them platform to save for marriages. however, ladies were only handy at farm functions and reproduction.

but today, young ladies are getting lucrative jobs more than their folks which as in turn delayed young folks in going after marriages. as there are no much good jobs to surpass the working or expose ladies anymore.

this will take a long time to curb as women now fight everyday for gender equality.


2. education: as it is popularly said, education is good but has caused more limitation in areas of Africa marriages especially Nigeria. during our fathers generation(80's below) a young adult(man) at 18yrs is considered to be a man after a portion of farmland had been shared or gotten as a result of menial jobs. this automatically gives him the privilege to self-independency and start nursing thoughts for marriage. that cant be compared with these era of rapid development, when at 18, a man is still struggling in writing jamb, going to higher institution, Nysc, sometimes with years of looking for a job.

with bunch of so many emotional press up, a guy wouldn't think of marriage so soon.

there are so many limitations to decline in Nigeria marriages.
family affinities
religion
age
many more...

and the worst the country isn't considering marriage as important anymore, with lots of divorce, baby mama and papa, sexual commitment.

at some point young males begin to wonder if marriage is necessary.

Really thought provoking

The reason is as follows:
1. They can't afford a decent job ASA result of the crumbling economy
2. Accommodation is expensive.
3. Ladies areunrealistic.
4. Many young men are scared of the responsibilities in marriage
5. Most of them jut want to sleep around or have baby mamas.

I dey read.

Cutehector:
If our graduates can get good jobs or have access to loans to start up businesses, den young men won't find it dificult to settle down early... well am writing abt those who r responsible and who wish to settle down early

Yea, business is a way to go, but trust me Nigeria is about one the most difficult countries to do business.

May God help us.

Lol..funny

www.intercityadventures.com

God help Nigerians. That's why I advice every Nigerian youth to save, no matter how little, than to squander the cash in one club house. Little drops of water they say, makes a mighty ocean. Money gives man level, happiness and freedom to so extent

this problem boils down alot to the challanges been faced by the economy..
Afterall when the average man gets a good payin job and he is able to manage an apartment, the next thing that comes to his mind is how to settle down and start a family.
Most men are limited by different reason's i e no job, or no mean's of capital to start somthing even most times they cant even afford to pay a rentage hence u see most of them still at their father's house even at 28 or 30 ..
it take's the grace and favour of God for a man to make to the top.