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Nairaland Forum / 2million1's Profile / 2million1's Posts
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Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 11:09pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
gree-die:like i said "for d records"...b4 someone'll build on that...u know guys r mad in dis thread 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 11:06pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
Oahray: who be dis one sef? Wetin you dey do hia? U suppose dey education or family thread.lol...4 ur mind. |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 10:28pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
ItsModella:tanx for the info, but am not so use to such abbreviations...n for d records, am from planet earth 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 10:22pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
sorry o...but abeg wetin b...BTW, LMAO, ASAP? 1 Like |
Celebrities / Re: Sarkodie ‘stabs’ R2bees by 2million1(m): 10:12pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
2 Ghanain artistes: Samini and Sakordie performed on that same stage but when Psquare mounted the stage many ghanaian girls fainted[/quote]LWKMD...cn't wait 4 d day sakordie'll perform in warri n a gal faints |
Jokes Etc / Re: 4 Words When The Co Ndom Breaks.... by 2million1(m): 10:05pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
mine is "UR SCHOOLING DON END 2DAY"...***if she na studnt*** |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 8:26pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
tashamania... 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Men Only! What Can Make You Cry? by 2million1(m): 5:35pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
...wen u contact H.i.v |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 5:55am On Dec 06, 2012 |
livialives:ma dear u beta adhere to her advice odawise u may develop high b.p before the end of 2day...believe you me, gettin in an e-quarrel with anyone is the last tin u nid...just ignore n it'll pass |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Semi Finals by 2million1(m): 5:38am On Dec 06, 2012 |
ma votez... Grp. 1: sweetlemon Grp. 2: tashamania Grp. 3: rikiatu Grp. 4: achukwunet Grp. 5: itsmodella |
Celebrities / Re: Tonto Dikeh Replies Yvonne Nelson Over Iyanya, Tells Her To Move On! by 2million1(m): 11:04pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
@acidtalk...i thought i was d only one observing it. It's always picture of this or picture of that hanging all over the place |
Politics / Re: Rest In Peace Labaran Maku, 1988 - 2012 by 2million1(m): 8:24pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
fourth to comment again...r.i.p labaran maku |
Webmasters / Re: How Can We Make Nairaland More Beautiful? by 2million1(m): 6:34pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
dont8: In addition, I need to dislike some posts here, so give us a dislike button.seconded 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Elimination Round 2 by 2million1(m): 3:49pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
Oahray: hahaha... Dnt tell me you'd compete o.plz vote for me if mua name cumz up...tanx |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Elimination Round 2 by 2million1(m): 2:50pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
tellwsdom:if u fyn pass mua, upload ya pix make we see 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Elimination Round 2 by 2million1(m): 2:47pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
when z d mr nairaland elimination round 1 cumin up na...me don taya 2 waitin o |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Elimination Round 2 by 2million1(m): 2:18pm On Dec 05, 2012 |
i see finess i confuse...chei...anyway i must vote... Group 1: enoquin n candyness. Group 2: abil n vivian chinaza. Group 3: funny mercy n dollz. Group 4: achukwunet n tashamania. Group 5: nubian queen n itsmodella. Group 6: jenny n chizolum 1 Like |
Religion / Re: Can You Jump Into A River To Save A Stranger Who Tries To Commit Suicide? by 2million1(m): 9:34pm On Dec 04, 2012 |
y must i save sumone who wants 2 die...he may sue u for depriving him of an easy death |
Romance / Re: Miss Nairaland - Elimination Round 1 by 2million1(m): 11:42pm On Dec 03, 2012 |
Group 1: abil, funny mercy, ivory babe. Group 2: achukwunet, candyness, nayah. Group 3: vivian chinaza, enoquin, florena. Group 4: t.luv, linda, josephine. Group 5: she-hawt, cindyrella, jenny. Group 6: nubian queen, pretty fatex, dollz. Group 7: butterfly, rokiatu, serahsadeiyare. Group 8: tashamania, chizolum, nikkomono |
Religion / Re: Why Do Christian Men Remove Their Cap In Church? by 2million1(m): 4:15pm On Dec 03, 2012 |
the bible didn't say so. It's just a sign of RESPECT. |
Celebrities / Re: Blasphemous Picture Of Obama As Jesus Christ Surfaces by 2million1(m): 1:42pm On Nov 29, 2012 |
rafhell: we will not go about killing and fighting.God bless u brother |
Music/Radio / When Last Did U Listen To Radio Nigeria? by 2million1(m): 4:43pm On Nov 27, 2012 |
i've observe that around my locality, people no longer listen to Radio Nigeria. What could be the cause of this?...as for me it's been a habit of mine to do so on a daily basis even though there don't give raw news, but i still do luv them....so do u still? |
Religion / The Secret To Happiness by 2million1(m): 4:16pm On Nov 27, 2012 |
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said."Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like. The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy manlooked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back intotheir mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said,"You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped withthe same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said,"I don't understand." "It is simple,"said the Lord."It requires but one skill. You see they have learned the secret to happiness..... feed one another." A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said."Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like. The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy manlooked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back intotheir mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said,"You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped withthe same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said,"I don't understand." "It is simple,"said the Lord."It requires but one skill. You see they have learned the secret to happiness..... feed one another." |
Religion / The Secret To Happiness by 2million1(m): 1:52pm On Nov 27, 2012 |
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said."Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like. The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy manlooked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back intotheir mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said,"You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped withthe same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said,"I don't understand." "It is simple,"said the Lord."It requires but one skill. You see they have learned the secret to happiness..... feed one another." |
Jokes Etc / 3 Worst Chinese Tortures... by 2million1(m): 1:45pm On Nov 27, 2012 |
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard."I'm lost,"said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly,"the Chinese man said,"but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "Ok,"said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read,"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy,"he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read:"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost." |
Literature / How I Wan Take Talk Am?: The Cry Of A Househelp by 2million1(m): 2:51pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
How I wan take talk am?The Cry of a Househelp by Enoquin Dat morrin as I wan baffna so I dey put ear for disbabe music, Omawunmi, dat song wey she sing say, ‘If you ask me, na who I go ask?’ My madam don comot tey teyand I know say before shego come back e go still tey, so I say before I baff make I carry my body goupstairs for her and ogaroom. E get one fine white trouser wey she buy and Ibe one go taste am because I hear say person yansh dey come out well well for white trouser especially if you no wear pant or you wear g-string. Before I go continue my tori make I talk about my madam andoga dem. My Madam: She no too good, she no too bad. Sometimes when I go market come back late, she no go even send me. She go just talk say, “Ehen, I know you went to see your boyfriend. Thank God you didn’t stay too long. Now hurryinto the kitchen, my babywould soon be back.” And sometimes when I wash clothes and the tingstill get small stain, she go talk say, “You are too dirty Mary, sometimes I wonder if your undies areeven clean”; and the annoying ting be say na infront of oga she go shout the whole ting so tey my oga come dey lookme one kain. My Oga: He no too good,he no too bad. Na to dey blow grammer up and down like say im be professor, but I hear say im no even finish unifersity say as im papa die, d guy jus use im papa money push im business so tey the business come grow yakata, now my oga na big man. The man no deyeye me o, na jus jeje all of us be for house. Myself: Eferibodi know say I be cool babe. I no dey likewahala, na only to dey wish say one day Igo be like my madam. I go get housemaid full ground. One go dey wash my clothes, another one go dey iron my clothes, another one go dey cook my food and the lastone go dey go market, abi wetin man pickin want againfor this world? So make I continue my tori. As I enter dem madam room, I jus go straight to the wardrobe because I no wan waste time. I rush comot my wrapper, come wear the trouser. Omo men, if you see as the ting fine for mybody ehn, you go wan tief me! Na as I dey comot the trouser na im Ihear person dey come the room side. Omo, see as I dive enter the wardrobe, even Jackie Chan for giveme award. The door open and as Ihear my oga voicedey talk with im phone, ebe like saydem pour cold water for my body, wetinI go talk say I dey do for dia room? “Yes, it’s fine. I was thinking we could go for that art exhibition takingplace at the art gallery.” I no know wetin the pesin reply am but I hear as im laff. “No, Tunde. I am married and you know I wouldn’t stray. If you bring that lady over to the exhibition, I may persuade wifey to come with me and that could be quite unpleasant for the lady and yourself. Quit trying to make me fall man, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my wife. Look I’m going to put you on the speakerbecause I want to take off my clothes” Chei, Oga abeg no comot your cloth, abeg! God where you dey? But e be like say even God dey use me play as my oga comot im cloth finish come evenmess on top. “You are crazy men! Whywould you fart like that with me on speaker?” Thevoice from the phone ask my oga. “Really, that’s a ridiculous question. I cando whatever I want in my house. Moreover I amalone.” Abeg Oga you no dey alone o, no mess again abeg. Kai! The mess smell no be small. Shey na de food wey I dey cookdey make oga mess smell like this? “Hey man, I’ve got to go.I want to have my bath and freshen up before wifey comes home. We’ll talk later.” My oga cut the call come enter bathroom. I managecome outside as I say make I look for my wrapper wey I throw inside wardrobe wen oga dey come, na im one big abarra land for my back. “So this is what you and my husband do, when I am not around?!” All my body shock and piss nearly comot as I binhear madam voice for my back. Una don forget say I no wear pant and my yansh jus chook outside as I bin wan bend down carry my wrapper. As I turn face madam, I jus weak because I know no how I wan take talk am. Make una helep me! COPIED FROM: http://www.naijastories.com |
Fashion / Re: What Is The Name Of This Haircut? by 2million1(m): 2:47pm On Nov 26, 2012 |
and what's gonna b d name of dis?
|
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Most Dangerous Jobs In Nigeria by 2million1(m): 9:35pm On Nov 23, 2012 |
havin tõo many job is dangerous |
Religion / Re: HAVING JESUS OR MARY PICTURE IN YOUR HOUSE WILL MAKE YOU A CANDIDATE OF HELL by 2million1(m): 6:57pm On Nov 23, 2012 |
@op...and now u r begining 2 scare me |
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Drogba Could Rejoin Chelsea On Loan by 2million1(m): 4:08pm On Nov 22, 2012 |
if him return to chelsea, which numba him go wear? |
Politics / Re: Nigerian Economy Not Growing - Sanusi by 2million1(m): 10:15am On Nov 21, 2012 |
hw can it grow wen 1.3bn naira is nt enof for refreshment in aso rock |
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