Hi everyone,

I will like to get an external feedback from this situation, hv been in a relationship for 3 yrs with my woman, we both hv met each others folks, and are preparing for marriage. Now somethin of late has began to bother me, my woman has alot of male friends, i wldnt knw if they toast her or she just zones them. she came to see me for the easter came all the way from the east to the lagos. Now we go out today and on our way back she receives a call from one of her toasters who she claims she zoned and he is upset, that he is Lagos the guy travelled from osun to lagos to see her. And right in my presence she was describin her address to the guy but formin "who sent him message to come visit her blablaba". As a guy, nw hearing the call and every i probed abd began to ask questions, and she began to say em the guy is annoying dis and dat. She claims the guy is a friend but attempted dating her ones which she turned him down. The thing dampled my spirit after a fun day i just switched on radio and began to sing. i personally saw it as being disprespectful and i refused to talk much in the car.

Now to my question, am i over reacting? does it sound okay for a man to travel across states to come see someone who is already engaged? I was tryin to believe her initially dat maybe the guy was just an innocent friend, it then occured to me that she told this guy she was comin to lag. they must be discussing very often.

So what do you guy think? i hv had to cut alot of relationship with other when i made up my mind she was the one

she dey bobo you

You are not over reacting but have you ever told her how you feel about such?

Iolite:
You are not over reacting but have you ever told her how you feel about such?

I told her ones then we werent too serious and she was like she knows she has friends but that am special. what that?

i dont want to seem insecured but i think she is exposing hersef and this is the one i knw oh cos i was there, we dont knw hw many cos we r in a distance relationship

I'm amazed humans complicate their lives nd sometimes dey kill themselves nd perish in hell nd blame God few exceptions tho

a lady preparing to b married be a wife and a mother is giving anoda guy her address she is mad!

Av said it if u cant stick to a partner pls b for every one nd for nobody dont carry any one along for nothing

If op breaks up with her nd d oda guy same she wud cry nd start screaming guys are wicked bt will never talk bou wat she did


Op even an 18 yr old girl if serious in a relationship will never give her guy emotional stress


Mayb she has caught u too who knos

U r not overeActin ooo. Infact u need to change it for her. Pls I dnt like seein u around all these ur male frnds befor dey coman snatch u away frm me ooooooooo. Heh or I will beat him

keyman0007:


I told her ones then we werent too serious and she was like she knows she has friends but that am special. what that?

i dont want to seem insecured but i think she is exposing hersef and this is the one i knw oh cos i was there, we dont knw hw many cos we r in a distance relationship

This is not about insecurity here, its your future. Try and do some digging, since you don't reside in the same town.

I think you should let her know you aren't comfortable with whatever is going on....I also think you should be able to have a bit of trust for the lady you've been with for 3yrz...so I also think you shouldn't tell her anything and trust dah things wouldn't go the negative way and am also thinking......... brb

Women are always the cause of their problems.

Be cool about it and watch her..... don't let her suspect your moves. She will play into your hands very soon if you are cool about it or else she will change her tactics very quickly or become defensive...This can only work if she will be staying around for sometimes. if not,

Alternative is : calling her out on her attitude and making her know how disrespectful you find such attitude and uar not going to put up with it. Be firm and serious about what you want from her, then set the rules . And if there is a repeat of such ,that you might make some decisions she wont find easy.

hoes everywhere.. every corner.. every angle

Ladies matter don tire me self.

keyman0007:


I told her ones then we werent too serious and she was like she knows she has friends but that am special. what that?

i dont want to seem insecured but i think she is exposing hersef and this is the one i knw oh cos i was there, we dont knw hw many cos we r in a distance relationship

There are things anyone would be insecure about this is a woman you want to marry yet you are pretending to be cool about something that is really hurting you. So for 3 yrs you've been pretending to be the cool guy.

This is how you get to know you tell her what you can't deal and if she ignores your complaints you know what to do but without actually talking to her you can never really know her maybe you are afraid to confirm your suspicions but pretending an issue does not exist won't make it go away.

i will gently raise the matter today and see hw it goes.

gals are d architect of dere problems!...imagin d audacity!....

its well sha!

For a guy to travel from Osun to Lagos to come see a girl, they aren't just friends abeg.

Bro, don't be a fool.

Guy ur under reacting. She is a cheat abeg

NewSheriff:
For a guy to travel from Osun to Lagos to come see a girl, they aren't just friends abeg.

Bro, don't be a fool.

My thoughts exactly, no guy will go that distance without wanting something in return;-)

SamsonJohn743:

My thoughts exactly, no guy will go that distance without wanting something in return;-)

Not just without wanting. He wouldn't go if there's no assurance of any kind.

She is not even ready for the marriage. You want Egusi soup but still enjoy Vegetable soup.

Don't you know that marriage is just one soup forever

My brother I want you to know that you did not over react. I believe what she is doing is having a plan B in case plan A fails. What I mean is that she is in a relationship with that other guy that might lead to marriage if your marriage with her fails. I want you to tell her what you currently feel concerning this and tell her to make a choice between you and the other guy. If she says it is you she wants then tell her to stop any form of relationship she has with the other guy stressing that if she does not then you will have no other choice but to call off the engagement.

boxer022:
My brother I want you to know that you did not over react. I believe what she is doing is having a plan B in case plan A fails. What I mean is that she is in a relationship with that other guy that might lead to marriage if your marriage with her fails. I want you to tell her what you currently feel concerning this and tell her to make a choice between you and the other guy. If she says it is you she wants then tell her to stop any form of relationship she has with the other guy stressing that if she does not then you will have no other choice but to call off the engagement.

let nt get the picture wrong, she isnt in a relationship with the guy she says they just talk as friends and she hinted she was comin to abj.

keyman0007:


let nt get the picture wrong, she isnt in a relationship with the guy she says they just talk as friends and she hinted she was comin to abj.

From your thread you said that she toks you that the other guy wanted to date her but she refused. How are you sure their "friendship" did not lead to a relationship. You said that she gave the guy her home address to come see her, do you know his intentions? You said the guy came all the way from Osun to see her which means that she must have informed him of her coming to Lagos. My initial advice still stands.

boxer022:
From your thread you said that she toks you that the other guy wanted to date her but she refused. How are you sure their "friendship" did not lead to a relationship. You said that she gave the guy her home address to come see her, do you know his intentions? You said the guy came all the way from Osun to see her which means that she must have informed him of her coming to Lagos. My initial advice still stands.

Thank God for you guys. I will never trust a lady 100 percent not even my wife. She sent me a text this morning saying she didnt see the guy last night again, that the guy was upset. Only for me to push further and discover she saw him this morning. Apparently the guy was trying to ask her out. You guys were right, that journey wasnt for nothing. And she said she told him she is in serious relationship. Well i gave her a piece of my mind, the fact i want to marry her doesnt mean i am desperate. If i discover she is cheating. I will end the whole thing.she begged and said it wont happen again. I just dropped her off at the airport. Asin she just ruin the fun we hard. This is a woman i hvnt even kissed sef.

keyman0007:


Thank God for you guys. I will never trust a lady 100 percent not even my wife. She sent me a text this morning saying she didnt see the guy last night again, that the guy was upset. Only for me to push further and discover she saw him this morning. Apparently the guy was trying to ask her out. You guys were right, that journey wasnt for nothing. And she said she told him she is in serious relationship. Well i gave her a piece of my mind, the fact i want to marry her doesnt mean i am desperate. If i discover she is cheating. I will end the whole thing.she begged and said it wont happen again. I just dropped her off at the airport. Asin she just ruin the fun we hard. This is a woman i hvnt even kissed sef.

I hope that she will abide by her promise to you. I do not want you to feel bad.

boxer022:
I hope that she will abide by her promise to you. I do not want you to feel bad.

Broda the truth is bitter, speak your mind so we can learn.