egopersonified:
She is still angry at you over those 'year long issues'.

And is that wise and healthy?

All wives don't do that.
When next you want to take any decision, try as much as possible to seek her own opinion.
Does she have dis type of attitude before you got married to her?

Evina:
No! Not all wives do this and you did not marry a bad woman, just a temperamental, rude woman who also has some insecurity/trust issues. (She obviously hasn't gotten over that betryal of trust you inflicted on her)

Great sex will not change anything!

She needs to consciously work on her character!
If you are a Christian, look for scriptures on anger, check the book of proverbs, print them out in colorful pieces of paper and stick them to your bedroom wall or areas she can easily access.

When she is in her sober moment, make her understand the kind of home you envisage building with her and how her attitude kills that vision. Make her understand how her actions affects you as a man and what it may eventually lead to.

If she genuinely cares, she'll make an effort to change.
It will take time, but you'll see the changes.

Thank you Evina

MARKone:
OP it is not just your wife that is like that, believe me. I've come to the realisation that a majority of women are like your wife, and I have equally come to the realisation that the man should be either very rich, or the woman is largely dependent on the man financially, this automatically makes the woman loyal and very less abusive.

Another group is the no nonsense Men, those who rarely talk, but use their fist to get loyalty. Ps do not get me wrong I do not advocate for DV(domestic violence). I have seen men like you, who their wives turned to wild creatures, due to their constant nagging. You think you can endure for a long time, even the most gentle soul of the male specie, has a breaking point. Come to think of it are you not being verbally abused, violated and traumatised.

The last group are those that wait, pray hoping that the women will change, not many are that patient, but Prayer still works bro.

So choose your hustle wisely, Good luck.

Appreciate much

lebrotin:


Thank you..But even if i forgot to tell her i was picking my bro, should that translate to saying all sorts. Really appreciate

Guy d truth is ur wife is taking u for granted. U have to put her in her place before dis goes out of hand. I guess you guys r not up to 2years. Trying to talk calmly with her now won't work, she will just taje it dat u r weak. U have to let her know, u r d husband, u married her and not d other way round. Pls don't beat her as dat will b counter productive, but seriously sanction her. Start by stopping being nice, start restricting d privilages u do give to her, reduce d attention u give to her. Stay out late, stop eating her meals. U can even send her to her parents to stay dere till she s ready to submit to her husband. Den lastly, as much as I hate and don't support dis suggestion, let her see dat u r preparing to get married to another woman. Hope dese will help

Apollux ........ isn't that too harsh?? 1. not eating her food could make her not cook for him again
2. staying out late could make her more suspicious and more aggressive
3. sending her back is humiliating her.
All these can break the home. Funny the way a man shows his authority doesn't have to be in doing harsh things. He can come home early and take her out for dinner, romance her and bring out the soft side in her by telling her about what attracted u to her. but!! u are not seeing those things anymore because she is too loud and abusive.

OP listen to Apollux 's advise and end your marriage faster than you even began.

Ithink you need to understand that women are like flowers they need care and tenderness. Also you need to carry your wife along in any of your decisions otherwise they would frown at it and may even disparage your thought process.

Men should know how to communicate before marriage. This is because communication is one of the most important thing in a relationship. Any plan you have in mind should be verbalize in order to give the other person room to make decisions.
You should have told her before the trip started.
Apologize for not telling her ahead and then let her know how you feel about her outburst in a loving way.

You married a strange woman, a woman you barely know.

If your arguments centre on YOUR relationship with your relatives, I'm sorry, there is really nothing you can do. Some women generally detest excessive relations with their brother/sister/parent - in-laws. All they want is ME & MY HUSBAND. Women with such traits are easily identified in the society. The best way to live peacefully with such women is to abandon your relatives.

However, if your arguments centre on other issues, you can state for clarity.

byvan03:
OP listen to Apollux 's advise and end your marriage faster than you even began.

PresVA:
It shouldn't honestly. .. wish you the best...

Thanks much much Ma'm

Acidosis:
You married a strange woman, a woman you barely know.

If your arguments centre on YOUR relationship with your relatives, I'm sorry, there is really nothing you can do. Some women generally detest excessive relations with their brother/sister/parent - in-laws. All they want is ME & MY HUSBAND. Women with such traits are easily identified in the society. The best way to live peacefully with such women is to abandon your relatives.

However, if your arguments centre on other issues, you can state for clarity.

But you know it's dangerous to abandon one's family cos you have a new family. How would you feel if your wife says to you that you are daft and stupid, that when she has her money, she would live her life(inside of you, you know you are really really trying for your new family).

Op women are always testing boundaries, She is feeling you out to know how much she can get away with.

Its a process when you first knew her she would be respectful, gradually she would start testing you with random accusations just to test your limit

Always remind her that separation is an option and instead of you waiting for her to run you mad, or turn you into a wife beater which would land you in jail

Simply learn when its time to walk out

lebrotin:

But you know it's dangerous to abandon one's family cos you have a new family. How would you feel if your wife says to you that you are daft and stupid, that when she has her money, she would live her life(inside of you, you know you are really really trying for your new family).

then you should know she really never liked you, she just used you to get a leg up in life. And when she is settled she would walk like she said

My guy nothing is going to change no amount of pampering is going to change her. Start making your exit plans right now so it doesnt catch you by surprise. believe me, she is already making her own plans

lebrotin:


Thank you Evina

Always welcome

lebrotin:

But you know it's dangerous to abandon one's family cos you have a new family. How would you feel if your wife says to you that you are daft and stupid, that when she has her money, she would live her life(inside of you, you know you are really really trying for your new family).

No one can make me abandon my family, so I had to look closely before I choose my partner to avoid clashes & surprises.

About the insult, I personally won't take that. As regards those encouraging you to pamper her to avoid insults, they're only trying to be romantically theoretical. Do not accept such advice. A man or a woman with good manners, raised either from a bad or a good home, would never use such heavy words on her partner.

I don't know what to tell you since I have never dated such. However, you know your woman more than anyone here, so I think you need to do what's best for you.

Some women are psychologically allergic to romance and all the fairy novel tales on this thread. For a woman who feels total disgust and disrespect for her man, no amount of swimming, tennis, cinema, or shopping can permanently cure her. She needs to be threatened, or returned to her father's house to learn Basic Home Training.

And Yes, that's what I will do if I were in your shoes. In your own case, threats won't work as she's ready to move on without you, so adopt a more decisive measure.

At what age did she settle down with you? Are you younger? What's the age gap?

raumdeuter:


then you should know she really never liked you, she just used you to get a leg up in life. when she is settled she would walk like she said

My guy nothing is going to change no amount of pampering is going to change her. Start making your exit plans right now so it doesnt catch you by surprise. believe me, she is already making her own plans

That's not a correct analysis. I know this because I'm quite sure the OP is not yet in the circle of the Danjumas.

She is blackmailing her husband emotionally.

Woman like that will use words without a thought to the consequences to manipulate the man into ALWAYS having their way.

OP needs to firm up.

Evina:
That's not a correct analysis. I know this because I'm quite sure the OP is not yet in the circle of the Danjumas.

She is blackmailing her husband emotionally.

Woman like that will use words without a thought to the consequences to manipulate the man into ALWAYS having their way.

OP needs to firm up.

You dont need to be a Danjuma to be used as a leg up in life, You only needto be better than the other party at that point.

no be today women would date a guy for what he is currently until they are at a position of advantage and show their real color

Those girls who date Ibo boys at Alaba until she graduates gets a job and remembers he isnt educated. its not like those men are Danjumas either.

A housegirl can use a mechanic to get a leg up in life.

OP wise up. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh, She don yarn wetin dey the depth of her heart You better wake up

Acidosis:

No one can make me abandon my family, so I had to look closely before I choose my partner to avoid clashes & surprises.

About the insult, I personally won't take that. As regards those encouraging you to pamper her to avoid insults, they're only trying to be romantically theoretical. Do not accept such advice. A man or a woman with good manners, raised either from a bad or a good home, would never use such heavy words on her partner.

I don't know what to tell you since I have never dated such. However, you know your woman more than anyone here, so I think you need to do what's best for you.

Some women are psychologically allergic to romance and all the fairy novel tales on this thread. For a woman who feels total disgust and disrespect for her man, no amount of swimming, tennis, cinema, or shopping can permanently cure her. She needs to be threatened, or returned to her father's house to learn Basic Home Training.

And Yes, that's what I will do if I were in your shoes. In your own case, threats won't work as she's ready to move on without you, so adopt a more decisive measure.

At what age did she settle down with you? Are you younger? What's the age gap?

Am older...She was 26 while I was 31 when we got married...I guess it is true that buying all the goods things of life will not permanently cure a rude woman. Is it also a general truth that most girls that do not have/ lack fatherly upbringing tend not to appreciate or respect manhood?

lebrotin:

Am older...She was 26 while I was 31 when we got married...I guess it is true that buying all the goods things of life will not permanently cure a rude woman. Is it also a general truth that most girls that do not have/ lack fatherly upbringing tend not to appreciate or respect manhood?

Gradually we're getting there..

On your last assertion (question), I'd say Yes & No.
A woman who doesn't know fatherhood, has no clue how to treat a man. Remember I said "KNOW".

For a lady who lost her father to illness, or old age at some point in her life, already got the experience of fatherhood, so the above doesn't apply.

However, the void left from being born & raised without a father figure is unimaginable. This can only happen when a woman sleeps around, and finds it difficult to identify the actual father of her baby, or a woman who took in for a riffraff, abandoned completely, and denounced. Ladies who also lost their fathers to death at a tender age, or lived with an aggressive boxer fall in this category.

However, for those who lost their fathers to illness at adolescent or adult-hood, the man of their dreams are always hard to come by, and hence, they hold on to their men firmly when they meet them, so as not to lose another "father figure". Their short father/daughter bond serve as a motivational factor to avoid failures in the future.

These kind of women, instead of allowing their marriages grow organically, they spend their life avoiding failures.

Since your wife's actions lean towards the opposite of the above, I presume she never really had a father figure. Is that right? If she did had the father-daughter bond, she ought to naturally appreciate you better.

OP i believe that you sincerely love your wife.If u can't tame your wife and take charge of your home, i am a afraid that you are not a real man.

sheunfemix:
Apollux ........ isn't that too harsh?? 1. not eating her food could make her not cook for him again
2. staying out late could make her more suspicious and more aggressive
3. sending her back is humiliating her.
All these can break the home. Funny the way a man shows his authority doesn't have to be in doing harsh things. He can come home early and take her out for dinner, romance her and bring out the soft side in her by telling her about what attracted u to her. but!! u are not seeing those things anymore because she is too loud and abusive.

I'm having a feeling u still don't know how serious d matter is? Have d wife shown dat she has a soft side? If she does, why bringing out d hard side? Y does shr have to quarrel with her husband because he wants to pick her brother in law? Damn! What r u even saying? Take her to dinner, be gentle with her? Oh d husband should reward her unruly act with goodworks? I don't think u r seeing d reality of whaat s on ground.

Acidosis:


Gradually we're getting there..

On your last assertion (question), I'd say Yes & No.
A woman who doesn't know fatherhood, has no clue how to treat a man. Remember I said "KNOW".

For a lady who lost her father to illness, or old age at some point in her life, already got the experience of fatherhood, so the above doesn't apply.

However, the void left from being born & raised without a father figure is unimaginable. This can only happen when a woman sleeps around, and finds it difficult to identify the actual father of her baby, or a woman who took in for a riffraff, abandoned completely, and denounced. Ladies who also lost their fathers to death at a tender age, or lived with an aggressive boxer fall in this category.

However, for those who lost their fathers to illness at adolescent or adult-hood, the man of their dreams are always hard to come by, and hence, they hold on to their men firmly when they meet them, so as not to lose another "father figure". Their short father/daughter bond serve as a motivational factor to avoid failures in the future.

These kind of women, instead of allowing their marriages grow organically, they spend their life avoiding failures.

Since your wife's actions lean towards the opposite of the above, I presume she never really had a father figure. Is that right? If she did had the father-daughter bond, she ought to naturally appreciate you better.

You hit it on the head...Father passed on when she was 3 months old

Evina:


That's not a correct analysis. I know this because I'm quite sure the OP is not yet in the circle of the Danjumas.

She is blackmailing her husband emotionally.

Woman like that will use words without a thought to the consequences to manipulate the man into ALWAYS having their way.

OP needs to firm up.

Firming up is the word I guess...am not in the league of the Danjumas as I only earn a meagre sum of 350k per month..and I dey try my best regarding basic things for house o

Jorussia:
OP i believe that you sincerely love your wife.If u can't tame your wife and take charge of your home, i am a afraid that you are not a real man.

Am kuku trying my best to take charge bro, you know you get decorum in the house for some time because you don't want wahala, so you ignore her when she annoys you, then after a long while, you have disagreement and the harsh insults start coming (how best can you now take charge)

Send her packing

lebrotin:
You hit it on the head...Father passed on when she was 3 months old

May God help you bro, you have a lot to do...

By the way, I envy your 'meagre' salary

lebrotin:
Are wives generally rude and saucy to husbands when arguments ensue? Whenever there is disagremment btw both of us, she barks at me like am her boy. we were travelling in our car one day and i suggested to pick up my brother so we could see a house agent since he would be getting married soon, my wife started questioning why i would want to carry my brother along, it was really serious that she started shouting at me in the car, this drew the passerby and commuters attention to us as we were driving, at some point, she threatened to drop off and get to the back of the car with our baby even while i was on motion, during this she was still insulting me ( do i turn against my brother or i tell him i could not make it to carry him was just running thru my mind and begging for answers at that point). Lately i was in the office and started getting pings from her accusing me of seeing a particular girl since last year which i have no idea of. i confronted her when i got home and the usual shouting and rude pronouncements began, to the extent that i have to tell her to bring down her voice cos neighbors could be hearing us. She could not mention who i was cheating with, she does not want to apologies for wrong accusation instead she brot up year long issues. i always want to be calm but she would definitely say things that would make you feel less of a man. Is is a general thing that wives call their husbands names during arguments or am just unlucky.

Based on your assertions, she sounds like an evil-tempered shrew.

Send her back home to her people to cool down - and while she's at it, let her acquire some much needed communication skills. Manners 101.

lebrotin:

Firming up is the word I guess...am not in the league of the Danjumas as I only earn a meagre sum of 350k per month..and I dey try my best regarding basic things for house o

LOL.

It will get better, I believe.
And 350k is NOT meagre, show gratitude Bros.

Although it's quite sad that we live in times where a man's material worth determines his worth as a person.

All the best Bros.

Evina:


LOL.

It will get better, I believe.
And 350k is NOT meagre, show gratitude Bros.

Although it's quite sad that we live in times where a man's material worth determines his worth as a person.

All the best Bros.

LOL just kidding, I know it's not meagre Evina

Acidosis:


May God help you bro, you have a lot to do...


By the way, I envy your 'meagre' salary

Lol....thanks all the way bro...we shall get there...send me your pin or whatsapp..we fit dey relate once in a while