Good evening Nairalanders, please I don't want to bore you with much stories, I just need a legal advice from lawyers on the FORUM. my sister who has been Legally married 8years ago to this guy, I wasn't around during their wedding because I work far away maiduguri then, the wedding took place in OSUN STATE, few months she gave birth, this guy travelled abroad on invitation visa by his family members, the guy has shown so much responsibility as a man and as a father at the beginning when he first arrived at his current country home of residence, my sister always told me how he use to send money for her and her child(only daughter) upkeep and communication was good between them, sometime in 2014, this guy having learned I work in Abuja, he personally contacted me and told me his plan to take his wife with him to abroad that he will need my assistance to help Authenticate all my sister's documents from Federal ministry of foreign affairs which I did, probably this doesn't go down well with family members or God knows what happened this guy sundenlly make U-turn and stop communicating with my sister, after several findings, he claimed his family had told him my sister was lying to collect money from him and spending such recklessly! That's her offence which he stated in the divorce letter. When I got the story like over five years ago, I heavily criticize my sister believing she must have done something worse than that for her husband to suddenly take Such action against her but what brought my interest in the case was when she sent me copy of divorce letter and I read through, I can't pinpoint to any serious offence she might have committed to warrant divorce all his excuses was baseless and earsay as the husband in question has never return back to nigeria since he travelled and from information my sister got, the husband secretly married to another wife in abroad Netherland to be precise while he still legally married to my sister here in nigeria.
My question now are:
- is it possible to divorce a woman in
absentia?
- The husband was requesting the custody of the only child the marriage produced to take to abroad, in my opinion I objected to that since the husband has married to another wife over there,the safety of the child is important.
- she's currently living in the house they
both built together which she
superviced during construction! They both contributed to the project while the husband was also sending money to build. Will she
be sent packing without any form of compensation?
Please MOD should please help me push to the front page to to have legal interpretation to the issue. Thanks i will be in comment section to take your advice. Ignor any error and advise

I'll advised she did not sign the paper for now and she should not in anyway release the child and also not move an inch from that house. Let him bring the divorce letter himself, and I guess the paper of the house is with her. Don't let anyone take the child from her all in the name of abroad and the child will have a better future, don't allow that.

since the day he left you people separated

Simple matter....dude had moved on... your sister has no choice, the divorce will happen. It might take a while if she doesnt cooperate with him but it will happen.

If I were your sister, I will get a lawyer and tidy the " what I get out of this" part and move on. Ie, the child's custody, the house, child support and whathaveyou. It is well....distance ruins relationships/marriages.

D

It's best to not hastily judge or condemn anybody.
Invite your sister's husband to NL let's hear his own side of the story.

Whenever the man is ready to formalize anything, he'll come back to Nigeria.

Hisbah21:
since the day he left you people separated

You're bringing one kind theology here

Oyiboman69:
I'll advised she did not sign the paper for now and she should not in anyway release the child and also not move an inch from that house. Let him bring the divorce letter himself, and I guess the paper of the house is with her. Don't let anyone take the child from her all in the name of abroad and the child will have a better future, don't allow that.

ok many thanks

sisisioge:
Simple matter....dude had moved on... your sister has no choice, the divorce will happen. It might take a while if she doesnt cooperate with him but it will happen.

If I were your sister, I will get a lawyer and tidy the " what I get out of this" part and move on. Ie, the child's custody, the house, child support and whathaveyou. It is well....distance ruins relationships/marriages.

my sister has agree to separate but the custody of the child after all he has not been communicating with her for over 5years

Ryda:
It's best to not hastily judge or condemn anybody.
Invite your sister's husband to NL let's hear his own side of the story.

Whenever the man is ready to formalize anything, he'll come back to Nigeria.

that's my point, let him come back and tell us his own side of the story because as it stands, it looks like it's the family who wants to divorce her not the husband sef

Get a good lawyer so he won't have the child.. Peacefully talk with him and get some share, so that she can start a new life. It might not be easy but trust me, if she didn't offend him, Karma will visit at the right time..
I know of a guy now in prison in Canada. Something similar.. Oyibo wife dey show am pepper now.

Life pressure surely dictates pace and navigation of human sojourn. Your sister should free the guy. This is the story of so many women.

Oga don marry another woman for papers. She should just move on and get a compensation

Beremx:
Oga don marry another woman for papers. She should just move on and get a compensation

Don't you ever leave your child for your estranged husband that left 11years ago
Don't sign any divorce letter

Don't you ever leave your child for your estranged husband that left 11years ago
Get a good lawyer before signing any letter...
The man can just use the child to transport cocaine

is better she moves on, it's obvious the both cheated on each other which is not good for a marriage, so no point continuing the marriage, a man or woman can't stay that long without sex multiple times, she gets a lawyer and keep the child, if the husband name is on the land documents then he owns the house, there's nothing like house documents ( when you buy a building you are only given the land documents) and there's no proof you contributed to the building. that's life for us. and I don't see the need for dragging a child after divorce, the child belongs to both of you for live, he will need the father in future for a lot of things, whether you keep her or not, it changes nothing.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
that's my point, let him come back and tell us his own side of the story because as it stands, it looks like it's the family who wants to divorce her not the husband sef

Na the family signature dey the divorce document?

Cut the bull and accept the truth. The one who married your sister is the same one divorcing her... offloading blame won't help you or her or anyone else..

Get your sister a good lawyer and tell her to tidy things up on her end so she does not loose her child and the man pays her what he owes her.

Kobojunkie:
Na the family signature dey the divorce document?

Cut the bull and accept the truth. The one who married your sister is the same one divorcing her... offloading brand won't help you or her or anyone else..

Get your sister a good lawyer and tell her to tidy things up on her end so she does not loose her child and the man pays her what he owes her.

ok many thanks

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
my sister has agree to separate but the custody of the child after all he has not been communicating with her for over 5years

custody of a child he doesn’t know? The nerve of some people sha.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:

is it possible to divorce a woman in absentia?

Yes it is. It depends on the country or city. In some places, once you've both been separated for a period of time, you can divorce without their consent. You can check what the law states where he lives in Netherlands.

I saw this article about grounds for divorce in Netherlands, and this part below looks interesting considering what you stated were his reasons for divorce:

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE
In Dutch law, there is just one ground for divorce: irreparable breakdown of the marriage. The marriage can be said to have irreparably broken down if to continue living together has become unbearable and there is no prospect of a restoration of proper marital relations. In the case of a unilateral petition, the petitioning spouse must assert the irreparable breakdown and, if it is denied by the other spouse, prove it. The court determines whether the marriage has irretrievably broken down.
https://www.international-divorce.com/d-netherlands.htm

she's currently living in the house they both built together which she superviced during construction! They both contributed to the project while the husband was also sending money to build. Will she be sent packing without any form of compensation?

This should depend on the law in Nigeria and the title on the documents of the property. It's best to speak to a lawyer and give them all the relevant information

The marriage has ended, your sister should get a lawyer grounded in family law to represent her interest and that of their daughter.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
Good evening Nairalanders, please I don't want
- is it possible to divorce a woman in
absentia?
- The husband was requesting the custody of the only child the marriage produced to take to abroad, in my opinion I objected to that since the husband has married to another wife over there,the safety of the child is important.

I wanted to take you serious but I later saw that you are just bittered, how can you imply that a father will harm his own child in a lawfull country, if you want to keep the child just say it, don't point out danger haba, A man you claim you love want divorce suddenly he is evil and can harm his own child SMH. If you want to score point with the child shame on you but I know if the wife is getting married after divorce to a white man she is going abroad with the kid. Don't be selfish think about the kid future, a future with you or a future in an environment that can make the child grow.
On the house part the wife should be compensated and she deserve it, everything in Nigeria self should be given to her if possible she has been managing i, all this while.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
Good evening Nairalanders, please I don't want to bore you with much stories, I just need a legal advice from lawyers on the FORUM. my sister who has been Legally married 8years ago to this guy, I wasn't around during their wedding because I work far away maiduguri then, the wedding took place in OSUN STATE, few months she gave birth, this guy travelled abroad on invitation visa by his family members, the guy has shown so much responsibility as a man and as a father at the beginning when he first arrived at his current country home of residence, my sister always told me how he use to send money for her and her child(only daughter) upkeep and communication was good between them, sometime in 2014, this guy having learned I work in Abuja, he personally contacted me and told me his plan to take his wife with him to abroad that he will need my assistance to help Authenticate all my sister's documents from Federal ministry of foreign affairs which I did, probably this doesn't go down well with family members or God knows what happened this guy sundenlly make U-turn and stop communicating with my sister, after several findings, he claimed his family had told him my sister was lying to collect money from him and spending such recklessly! That's her offence which he stated in the divorce letter. When I got the story like over five years ago, I heavily criticize my sister believing she must have done something worse than that for her husband to suddenly take Such action against her but what brought my interest in the case was when she sent me copy of divorce letter and I read through, I can't pinpoint to any serious offence she might have committed to warrant divorce all his excuses was baseless and earsay as the husband in question has never return back to nigeria since he travelled and from information my sister got, the husband secretly married to another wife in abroad Netherland to be precise while he still legally married to my sister here in nigeria.
My question now are:
- is it possible to divorce a woman in
absentia?
- The husband was requesting the custody of the only child the marriage produced to take to abroad, in my opinion I objected to that since the husband has married to another wife over there,the safety of the child is important.
- she's currently living in the house they
both built together which she
superviced during construction! They both contributed to the project while the husband was also sending money to build. Will she
be sent packing without any form of compensation?
Please MOD should please help me push to the front page to to have legal interpretation to the issue. Thanks i will be in comment section to take your advice. Ignor any error and advise

If your sermon isn't fake, 2 things are involved.

1. You heard info how ur sister sleeping around in absent of her husband.

2. Maybe your sister husband now legally married to white for stay in abroad.


* I think he sent divorce in order not to continue wasting her time.

Ryda:
It's best to not hastily judge or condemn anybody.
Invite your sister's husband to NL let's hear his own side of the story.

Whenever the man is ready to formalize anything, he'll come back to Nigeria.

You people are very funny. You think a faceless forum like Nairaland is a court of law where you must invite both parties to state their side of the story.
Bunch of kids everywhere!

And none of you saw the posters moniker.

If we are all mad,it goes to say you are receiving advice from werey ppl.

Be like the madness was transferred to your in-law abroad?

Send me an email

Or drop a number to call you

My guy Don go see how better women dey behave, that's when he knew he was being scammed

She doesn't really need to sign it,abi she won stay married by force

Jamesbiodun:
Don't you ever leave your child for your estranged husband that left 11years ago
Don't sign any divorce letter

Nawa

Baba has tasted oyibo pussy. Some men are pussy ass nigarrs. If you were told by your family that doesn't welcome your wife that she's been exploiting you, why can't you come home and verify as a man.

This is a script written by the groom's family long ago to kick the wife out of the family with a flimsy excuse.


Sometimes I pity married Nigerian women. In Africa, divorce wreck their lives unlike it favours us men that can easily remarry after divorce. Not like women whose body gets out of shape and hence unappealing and unattractive as a result child bearing making it harder for them to be remarried.