When she said to me: “Firstlady, I can never marry a man whose mother is still alive” ; I unapologetically looked her in the face and said: ”you won’t either be alive to be a mother inlaw”.
Haba, Firstlady, you’re too harsh, I didn’t mean it that way. (educate me then).

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See, let’s face it, what we wish for others is what we get, it’s just one of the laws that guides life.
If you don’t want to have a MIL, you won’t be one, shikina.

I am a daughter to a good woman, and like every other mothers, she’s got her flaws and weaknesses, I still love her purely despite those flaws. She’s my mom, she’s irreplaceable.
The day I get married, I get a new mother, another mother, who I’m bound by my marital vows to treat as my own mother.
Now, that’s a huge one. You may ask, “Firstlady what will you do if your MIL slaps you?” and my answer is, “exactly what I’ll do if my mom slaps me”.
Don’t expect me to tell her son, no, I won’t. Would I tell my husband if my mom slaps me over a disagreement? Why then tell him of his mom doing same.
As one who grew up in a polygamous setting, and an extended family set-up too, I know better.

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My MIL became my real mom the day I said I do to her son. That means I’ll accommodate her just as her biological children would, which is just as I would treat my own mom, and I expect my husband to treat my own mom.
It’s easier loving our own, but much easier loving those people someone we love holds dear to heart.

We aren’t negating the fact that some MILs know how to drive you nuts, but then, it’s your decision to allow it get to you. There’s always a limit she can go and then she stops when the sees you’re not perturbed. I have such a woman, she’s grandmother to me.

I see how my mother relates with other people’s daughters and I already know I have no choice but to have a MIL. Who’s better at calling her son to order if not her? Who’s going to teach me how to be a wife in that family but her? She’s been married for decades to a senior Mr. My Husband’s surname, so, she knows better.

Of course, we all can’t choose to have MILs, but we can keep an open mind to the challenges of having one who might be too possessive or attached to their sons.

The battle mostly starts when it seems you’re contesting to have her son to yourself, all you need do is plan your time such that she will have that Mother-to-Son time with her son, who’s your husband.

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We women know ourselves, and can be the best to approach issues bothering on MIL.

A lot of women shy away from men who openly declare absolute love for their mom’s, and it’s wrong. In my experience, any man who loves his mom so much will surely love his wife greatly. It can only take a man raised by a Queen to treat his wife like a Princess.

The wish and desire of every woman should rather be to have a MIL who’ll treat them as she’ll treat her own daughters, a MIL who’ll guide them properly in marriage and help prepare the ahead for marital challenges.

I’ve come to notice that behind every “supposed bad MIL” is a very loving mom who feels empty having to share her son with another woman. It’s common knowledge that mothers are more closer to their sons than to their daughters, just as dads are more closer to their daughters. I know my mom loves my brothers more, that doesn’t hurt me either because I know she loves me enough. Now, I won’t pretend not to notice my MIL getting this jealous face whenever she sees me having a sweet time with her son. I don’t think it’s easy seeing your baby being a man, and doing things you did with his dad with another woman (ha ha ha).

As one prepares for marriage, it’s essential to prepare to deal with MIL issues. It doesn’t matter the type you get, it’s essential you acquire to wisdom needed to make it work with her.
Mother’s are angels… Nothing beats that!

Thanks for reading. Share your thoughts, comments and suggestions.

http://firstladyibiene.com/dear-monster-in-law-dil/

nice write up

You haven't told us why yo telling us this interesting story though

mak i sit down jeje come come chop pop corn

some mother in laws aproko too much abeg...mk them dey learn to mind there business.

Hmm
Loving this write up

It takes two to make a relationship work.

Your post is unrealistic! You assume the daughter in law to be perfect and expect her to work it all out. Yet, you admit mum in law isn't perfect and expect daughter in law to understand.

If daughter in law should treat mum in law like her own mum, shouldn't mum in law also treat daughter in law like her own daughter?

gee! all dis tori 2 much abeg mer gerrarahia b4 my mb go finish

Nice write up dear.....





*CLAPPING *

Evina:
It takes two to make a relationship work.

Your post is unrealistic! You assume the daughter in law to be perfect and expect her to work it all out. Yet, you admit mum in law isn't perfect and expect daughter in law to understand.

If daughter in law should treat mum in law like her own mum, shouldn't mum in law also treat daughter in law like her own daughter?

Of course she should treat you like a daughter. But first be a daughter to her. I mean, a very good daughter and a sincere one at that.

if she slaps you, you won't tell her her son? okay!

Evina:
It takes two to make a relationship work.

Your post is unrealistic! You assume the daughter in law to be perfect and expect her to work it all out. Yet, you admit mum in law isn't perfect and expect daughter in law to understand.

If daughter in law should treat mum in law like her own mum, shouldn't mum in law also treat daughter in law like her own daughter?

Like I always say, the years the mother in law has to live can never be into the one she has used. Many mother in laws tend to be intolerant and think there is no woman good enough for their sons but they should be tolerated. Courtesy demands that. At least if ur husband is on ur side u need to tolerate his mother cos she can't be there forever.

Women are the problem to women! You dan see father in law dey get beef with son in law!

Why must it always be a mother inlaw problem?