AlphaDex:


Leave God out?

So you base your principles and conduct of marriage on human opinion and theories? Man at best can only be greedy and self-seeking. What you hold as your base are mere subjective postulation.

And you keep making this fallacious assumptions in comparing marriage to a "committed" relationship.

You must live abroad I see, that's the only place where you can carry a ton of phantasies on your head and still pretend it doesn't weigh down on you.

If it isn't marriage, it isn't marriage. Shack-up is shack- up, marriage is marriage.

Don't muddle it.

Marriage= legalised Shack-up to use your turn of phrase.
Except for the legal ramifications, no difference really.
Trust me, I know.
If you have any points that highlights the difference in the relationship, not legal status between a married couple and a co-habiting couple, please state them sharply.
Don't just assert something here, give your reasons. No religious angles I reiterate.

shaybebaby:

Needless assumption based on nothing. Love does not equate to marriage. So where in my above post did I allude to the desire to want to be married again.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
You didn't answer my question though? Ever moved from one relationship to another?

Also bestowing the status of sacred marriage does not make it so simply because you said it.
What makes marriage different to a committed relationship between two people?
When you answer, please leave out the God/ religious angle. I want to hear your own thoughts not something learned from reading a book.

Stop comparing marriages to commuted relationships ma'am... We can remain in commited relationships with someone we do not intend to spend the rest of our life with...
People who get married are usually commited to each other already, why move to the next level if it were the same as the current? One is a quid pro quo for the other?
If this does not answer your question, I wonder what does
Besides, most of ya'll yelling divorce actually got married in a church where its " for better, for worse"...
God is still considering your punishment....

njokusboy:

Stop comparing marriages to commuted relationships ma'am... We can remain in commited relationships with someone we do not intend to spend the rest of our life with...
People who get married are usually commited to each other already, why move to the next level if it were the same as the current? One is a quid pro quo for the other?
If this does not answer your question, I wonder what does
Besides, most of ya'll yelling divorce actually got married in a church where its " for better, for worse"...
God is still considering your punishment....

We can remain in commited relationships with someone we do not intend to spend the rest of our life with... err...then you are not committed are you then?
Commitment- : a promise to do or give something
: a promise to be loyal to someone or something
: the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something
Merriam Webster dictionary, but I'm sure that it would be hard to find a different meaning regardless of where you look within the context of relationships.

why move to the next level if it were the same as the current?
Societal norm, financial gain, religious beliefs, public declaration of love, family/societal pressure..the reasons why people get married are endless and would differ from individual to individual. In Nigeria alone and evident on nairaland, with numerous posts shaming and stating that girls[b] should[/b] go and get married, insults about women's single status, surely that is an example of why some people might decide to get married by fire or by force because they caved in to the relentless pressure.

Still, you have displayed that you are not capable of reasoning independently by bringing in what I asked you not to include.. God. It wouldn't be so bad if you had other things to say in ADDITION to your religious beliefs but no, nada.

Whilst I'm not religious, I do believe that religion and reason don't have to be mutually exclusive. My advise to you, try to find room for both in your brain.

shaybebaby:

Marriage= legalised Shack-up to use your turn of phrase.
Except for the legal ramifications, no difference really.
Trust me, I know.
If you have any points that highlights the difference in the relationship, not legal status between a married couple and a co-habiting couple, please state them sharply.
Don't just assert something here, give your reasons. No religious angles I reiterate.

For starter, shack-up isn't my phrasing, it is the dictionary definition of couples living together having not married.

And if you will pretend that couples who go through the pains and rigours to formalise and legalise their union is the same in content and mode of operation, then you do not qualify to debate relationships of any sort.

There's a wide gulf of divide between your sense of what constitutes and what it doesn't.


And you object to the use of religious tenets for argument, so let me ask you, what do you use?
Your own experience?
Statistics?
What?

shaybebaby:

Still, you have displayed that you are not capable of reasoning independently by bringing in what I asked you not to include.. God. It wouldn't be so bad if you had other things to say in ADDITION to your religious beliefs but no, nada.

Whilst I'm not religious, I do believe that religion and reason don't have to be mutually exclusive. My advise to you, try to find room for both in your brain.

Not to interfere, but one question:
Didn't you get married in a church?

I asked this cos I'm not sure why you consistently squirm at anyone bringing God/religion into the discussion regarding marriage.
Are the two concepts mutually exclusive?

Bukatyne what do you have to say to this post. Remember we had a discussion like this some time ago

shaybebaby:

Marriage= legalised Shack-up to use your turn of phrase.
Except for the legal ramifications, no difference really.
Trust me, I know.
If you have any points that highlights the difference in the relationship, not legal status between a married couple and a co-habiting couple, please state them sharply.
Don't just assert something here, give your reasons. No religious angles I reiterate.

crackhaus:

Not to interfere, but one question:
Didn't you get married in a church?

I asked this cos I'm not sure why you consistently squirm at anyone bringing God/religion into the discussion regarding marriage.
Are the two concepts mutually exclusive?

Yes I did. Only visited the church twice, to book the wedding ( it is a beautiful building and very old, about 1300 yes old so quite a desirable venue. Paid for the privilege as well) and on the day of the wedding itself. Haven't set foot in a church since except for other people's weddings.
God had no place in my choice of venue, just aesthetics and convenience, down the road from my yard, close to transport links for guests.

AlphaDex:


For starter, shack-up isn't my phrasing, it is the dictionary definition of couples living together having not married.

And if you will pretend that couples who go through the pains and rigours to formalise and legalise their union is the same in content and mode of operation, then you do not qualify to debate relationships of any sort.

There's a wide gulf of divide between your sense of what constitutes and what it doesn't.


And you object to the use of religious tenets for argument, so let me ask you, what do you use?
Your own experience?
Statistics?
What?

Be back after finishing my mummy duties for the day.

shaybebaby:

Yes I did. Only visited the church twice, to book the wedding ( it is a beautiful building and very old, about 1300 yes old so quite a desirable venue. Paid for the privilege as well) and on the day of the wedding itself. Haven't set foot in a church since except for other people's weddings.
God had no place in my choice of venue, just aesthetics and convenience, down the road from my yard, close to transport links for guests.

I like your reply, it's solid...but you missed my point.

It wasn't about the building or venue, it's about why you got married by taking Christian vows officiated by a priest/pastor I figure...
For someone who isn't religious and dissociates God from marriage, wouldn't it have made more sense to just have the usual registry(court) wedding and then proceed to a grand reception..

crackhaus:

I like your reply, it's solid...but you missed my point.

It wasn't about the building or venue, it's about why you got married by taking Christian vows officiated by a priest/pastor I figure...
For someone who isn't religious and dissociates God from marriage, wouldn't it have made more sense to just have the usual registry(court) wedding and then proceed to a grand reception..

But it served the same purpose as the registry, my marriage certificate was issued straightaway as the ceremony is recognised by the state. So I got my choice venue and the legal bit sorted in one.
To be honest, I found the ceremony quite strange and myself and then hubby couldn't stop giggling our way through it.
Anyways, it was partly sentimental as well as his grandparents and uncle got married in the samend church.
Had funds permitted me, I would/still chose a destination wedding any day..
Oh, I dissociate God from everything that happens in my life..good and bad. I believe in morality, that we are ultimately responsible for our choices.
What good I do, I do because I believe it's the right thing to do, what bad I do, I acknowledge if I am aware and try each day to right whatever wrongs I commit. I don't need the fear or belief in a God to be my moral compass. Indeed my conscience tells me when I err.

shaybebaby:


We can remain in commited relationships with someone we do not intend to spend the rest of our life with... err...then you are not committed are you then?
Commitment- : a promise to do or give something
: a promise to be loyal to someone or something
: the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something
Merriam Webster dictionary, but I'm sure that it would be hard to find a different meaning regardless of where you look within the context of relationships.

why move to the next level if it were the same as the current?
Societal norm, financial gain, religious beliefs, public declaration of love, family/societal pressure..the reasons why people get married are endless and would differ from individual to individual. In Nigeria alone and evident on nairaland, with numerous posts shaming and stating that girls[b] should[/b] go and get married, insults about women's single status, surely that is an example of why some people might decide to get married by fire or by force because they caved in to the relentless pressure.

Still, you have displayed that you are not capable of reasoning independently by bringing in what I asked you not to include.. God. It wouldn't be so bad if you had other things to say in ADDITION to your religious beliefs but no, nada.

Whilst I'm not religious, I do believe that religion and reason don't have to be mutually exclusive. My advise to you, try to find room for both in your brain.

Lol.... Subliminals heheheh.....
Commitment essentially implies loyalty.... One can be committed to someone he does not intend to marry... It could be for health reasons, ethnic reasons, religious reasons or whatever... Anyway, what am tryna say is that there's no relationship outside a marriage that equates to a marriage, if someone loves you well enough they'd marry you. Any man that says he loves you but does not intend to make it official is a fraud... You're probably so good a Bleep he cannot live without ur vagina... In marriage, you are essentially telling the whole world you both are together and giving all them other dudes or b1tches the middle finger.... Marriage is the zenith of all human commitments.. Why do you think there's a cost for opting out? Try taking your committed boyfriend to a court of law because he wants to try another pvssssssy??

2. Stop acting dumb woman, those reasons you mentioned are exceptions and not the norm..... Now answer with sense, you are in a committed relationship and not in any form of pressure, why get married? Why not leave it at the commitment level? I understand you want to defend YOUR Situation but don't try to patronize us... You are debating with your uncles...

3. I only brought in God because I assumed albeit correctly that you got married in a church... But you are clearly one indecisive, confused and utterly clueless person with no principle...... I'd never marry in a church if I do not believe in the sanctity of marriage and the sovereignty of God... What else do I even expect from someone who thinks peer pressure is a good enough reason to get married....
Take a stand, it's only a fool that says he doesn't like dog meat but wouldn't mind dog meat peppers soup.
A piece of advice, " choose God".

^^If you are the example of a person who has chosen God, then your advise must be ignored. I do not want to be like you.

shaybebaby:

Be back after finishing my mummy duties for the day.

Very dutiful of you!!!

I'm impressed.

I'm waiting still.

shaybebaby:

But it served the same purpose as the registry, my marriage certificate was issued straightaway as the ceremony is recognised by the state. So I got my choice venue and the legal bit sorted in one.
To be honest, I found the ceremony quite strange and myself and then hubby couldn't stop giggling our way through it.
Anyways, it was partly sentimental as well as his grandparents and uncle got married in the samend church.
Had funds permitted me, I would/still chose a destination wedding any day..
Oh, I dissociate God from everything that happens in my life..good and bad. I believe in morality, that we are ultimately responsible for our choices.
What good I do, I do because I believe it's the right thing to do, what bad I do, I acknowledge if I am aware and try each day to right whatever wrongs I commit. I don't need the fear or belief in a God to be my moral compass. Indeed my conscience tells me when I err.

Okay then.

AlphaDex:


For starter, shack-up isn't my phrasing, it is the dictionary definition of couples living together having not married.

And if you will pretend that couples who go through the pains and rigours to formalise and legalise their union is the same in content and mode of operation, then you do not qualify to debate relationships of any sort.

There's a wide gulf of divide between your sense of what constitutes and what it doesn't.


And you object to the use of religious tenets for argument, so let me ask you, what do you use?
Your own experience?
Statistics?
What?

I would say that the actual ceremony itself is the fun part. You get to have a party and be the center of attention for the day. However, the before and after is a lot more mundane.
What changes in the relationship after marriage because of the legalization of the union? Nothing.
You don't just become a new being afterwards, the issues you dealt before marriage i.e the practical ones, work, eating, maintaining yourself don't change because of that single event. those things are bound to evolve anyways whether single or married. You don't get promoted at work because you now have a new legal partner, your bills don't change except of course you are a single income household and now you have to support two on the same wages.
His/her jokes don't suddenly become funnier because of it, you are essentially the same individuals you were before you took plunge, your innate characters remain the same...except of course you've been hiding the real you all along.
My point is the differences that arise do because of decisions made. A woman or man does for example does not immediately become a housewife/husband upon marriage but as a result of decisions made or circumstance e.g redundancy, birth of their child.

Having a child, now that's different, bear in mind that before there was two, now you have three, four etc to consider in addition to what existed before.

I use my experience as a point of reference but I also observe others and how they interact. I am always looking to learn but because I recognize individuality, I realize that what works for one will not necessarily work for another. Our personal beliefs are that-personal. My objection to religious tenets is that I KNOW this already, I don't want stuff I know already quoted at me, I want to know what the person feels and why they feel that is the truth. If their belief is founded in religion, fine but when I ask why they believe it to be true, I don't want to hear " Because God said.." or have more scriptures thrown at me when I am simply asking for reason.

shaybebaby:

I would say that the actual ceremony itself is the fun part. You get to have a party and be the center of attention for the day. However, the before and after is a lot more mundane.
What changes in the relationship after marriage because of the legalization of the union? Nothing.
You don't just become a new being afterwards, the issues you dealt before marriage i.e the practical ones, work, eating, maintaining yourself don't change because of that single event. those things are bound to evolve anyways whether single or married. You don't get promoted at work because you now have a new legal partner, your bills don't change except of course you are a single income household and now you have to support two on the same wages.
His/her jokes don't suddenly become funnier because of it, you are essentially the same individuals you were before you took plunge, your innate characters remain the same...except of course you've been hiding the real you all along.
My point is the differences that arise do because of decisions made. A woman or man does for example does not immediately become a housewife/husband upon marriage but as a result of decisions made or circumstance e.g redundancy, birth of their child.

Having a child, now that's different, bear in mind that before there was two, now you have three, four etc to consider in addition to what existed before.

I use my experience as a point of reference but I also observe others and how they interact. I am always looking to learn but because I recognize individuality, I realize that what works for one will not necessarily work for another. Our personal beliefs are that-personal.

My objection to religious tenets is that I KNOW this already, I don't want stuff I know already quoted at me, I want to know what the person feels and why they feel that is the truth. If their belief is founded in religion, fine but when I ask why they believe it to be true, I don't want to hear " Because God said.." or have more scriptures thrown at me when I am simply asking for reason.

Sorry to butt in but your last paragraph on why you don't want to entertain religion in this discussion got me completely confused...you are more interested in the reasons why they have those beliefs?? And what they feel is the truth? Feelings?? I am trying to imagine what exactly you are expecting.

And pls, this is more of rhetorics than anything else. Feel free to ignore.

Kimoni:


Sorry to butt in but your last paragraph on why you don't want to entertain religion in this discuss got me completely confused...you are more interested in the reasons why they have those beliefs?? And what they feel is the truth? Feelings?? but not beliefs?? I am trying to imagine what exactly you are expecting.

Feelings in this context means opinion not emotion. Hope that helps dispel any confusion.

shaybebaby:

Feelings in this context means opinion not emotion. Hope that helps dispel any confusion.

Thanks and noted but surely, their opinions would have been shaped from something, and in this particular subject, it would most likely be from religious beliefs which the posters themselves have alluded to. So we still back to religious beliefs right? How then do we exclude?

Kimoni:


Thanks and noted but surely, their opinions would have been shaped from something, and in this particular subject, it would most likely be from religious beliefs which the posters themselves have alluded to. So we still back to religious beliefs right? How then do we exclude?

Yes, that is true but why does that particular religious belief resonate with them as the truth other than the fact that it was written and proclaimed as the truth?
If it is sufficient to say that it is the Christian God's word with authority, then we must give equal credence to all.other faiths because they proclaim that their religious texts are the true as well.
But we know that people often follow one faith and disregard others. To do that, there must have been some kind of reasoning because a conscious choice was made to disregard a different type of truth. The assertation of the other faiths wasn't enough to make then acceot, they just didn't take their word for it or their texts either.
Do you understand why I do not want the religious angle? I need more than "it is written."
Back up the belief with a reasoned explanation.

shaybebaby:

Yes, that is true but why does that particular religious belief resonate with them as the truth other than the fact that it was written and proclaimed as the truth?
If it is sufficient to say that it is the Christian God's word with authority, then we must give equal credence to all.other faiths because they proclaim that their religious texts are the true as well.
But we know that people often follow one faith and disregard others. To do that, there must have been some kind of reasoning because a conscious choice was made to disregard a different type of truth. The assertation of the other faiths wasn't enough to make then acceot, they just didn't take their word for it or their texts either.
Do you understand why I do not want the religious angle? I need more than "it is written."
Back up the belief with a reasoned explanation.

Fair points. But this particular case is made easier because you've not only admitted to knowing(and presumably understanding) these particular set of beliefs but also getting married within the tenets of this religion; so again, why should we exclude when we are all on the same page?

njokusboy:


Lol.... Subliminals heheheh.....
Commitment essentially implies loyalty.... One can be committed to someone he does not intend to marry... It could be for health reasons, ethnic reasons, religious reasons or whatever... Anyway, what am tryna say is that there's no relationship outside a marriage that equates to a marriage, if someone loves you well enough they'd marry you. Any man that says he loves you but does not intend to make it official is a fraud... You're probably so good a Bleep he cannot live without ur vagina... In marriage, you are essentially telling the whole world you both are together and giving all them other dudes or b1tches the middle finger.... Marriage is the zenith of all human commitments.. Why do you think there's a cost for opting out? Try taking your committed boyfriend to a court of law because he wants to try another pvssssssy??

2. Stop acting dumb woman, those reasons you mentioned are exceptions and not the norm..... Now answer with sense, you are in a committed relationship and not in any form of pressure, why get married? Why not leave it at the commitment level? I understand you want to defend YOUR Situation but don't try to patronize us... You are debating with your uncles...

3. I only brought in God because I assumed albeit correctly that you got married in a church... But you are clearly one indecisive, confused and utterly clueless person with no principle...... I'd never marry in a church if I do not believe in the sanctity of marriage and the sovereignty of God... What else do I even expect from someone who thinks peer pressure is a good enough reason to get married....
Take a stand, it's only a fool that says he doesn't like dog meat but wouldn't mind dog meat peppers soup.
A piece of advice, " choose God".

Must you use vile words, to make your point?

I've been following the exchanges on here, and there hasn't been a single instance of shaybebaby resorting to insults to score cheap points. I'm disappointed, Njokusboy.

Kimoni:


Fair points. But this particular case is made easier because you've not only admitted to knowing(and presumably understanding) these particular set of beliefs but also getting married within the tenets of this religion; so again, why should we exclude when we are all on the same page.

You are mistaken, I got married in building which happened to be a church. Whilst I realise that it such establishments are sacred to people, for me, it was functional.
Ofcourse I know abouthat these beliefs, I do not live in a vacuum. Just like I am aware of others, just because I celebrate eid with Muslims doesn't make me one ...because I eat from their feast does not mean I share their beliefs. I had the ceremony in a church but wasn't married until I signed the register in front of witnesses.
I am asking that your religious belief be backed by logic if you must assert that it reasonable to hold such beliefs.
If I stated one of the 10 commandments..eg. thou shall not covet they neighbour's property. I agree with the sentiment but not because I found it in the Bible hence it must be true.
It's more than that, covetousness can cause envy, greed, etc. It stops you from being grateful for what you DO have because you are more focused on what you don't.
Looking at the world around me, I see the effects of greed everyday, the state of our nation, few people amassing the wealth of many, as a result lives are blighted.
A simplistic explanation but nevertheless, I concur because I have seen innocent people suffer because of covetousness and seen the damage caused.
Anyways, what does it matter what you or I believe, if it brings you happiness, great! Our paths are different.
I haven't condemned religion, I have simply said it is not for me. Religion is not relevant to me, I made my decisions in the absence of religious considerations. To bring it here to "prove" that my decision making process is flawed needs to do just that. Prove me wrong, don't just tell me I am wrong.

shaybebaby:

You are mistaken, I got married in building which happened to be a church. Whilst I realise that it such establishments are sacred to people, for me, it was functional.
Ofcourse I know abouthat these beliefs, I do not live in a vacuum. Just like I am aware of others, just because I celebrate eid with Muslims doesn't make me one ...because I eat from their feast does not mean I share their beliefs. I had the ceremony in a church but wasn't married until I signed the register in front of witnesses.
I am asking that your religious belief be backed by logic if you must assert that it reasonable to hold such beliefs.
If I stated one of the 10 commandments..eg. thou shall not covet they neighbour's property. I agree with the sentiment but not because I found it in the Bible hence it must be true.
It's more than that, covetousness can cause envy, greed, etc. It stops you from being grateful for what you DO have because you are more focused on what you don't.
Looking at the world around me, I see the effects of greed everyday, the state of our nation, few people amassing the wealth of many, as a result lives are blighted.
A simplistic explanation but nevertheless, I concur because I have seen innocent people suffer because of covetousness and seen the damage caused.
Anyways, what does it matter what you or I believe, if it brings you happiness, great! Our paths are different.
I haven't condemned religion, I have simply said it is not for me. Religion is not relevant to me, I made my decisions in the absence of religious considerations. To bring it here to "prove" that my decision making process is flawed needs to do just that. Prove me wrong, don't just tell me I am wrong.

@bolded - do you think religious beliefs are based on or coined from logic? Do you know of any that is? Which pls?

shaybebaby:
^^If you are the example of a person who has chosen God, then your advise must be ignored. I do not want to be like you.

You see the problem with kids like you, why start throwing subliminals when you have nothing to say only to cop out when things start to heat up??

So this is all you have to say, at the end, you are just like the rest, all talk and no brains...

shaybebaby:




I would say that the actual ceremony itself is the fun part. You get to have a party and be the center of attention for the day. However, the before and after is a lot more mundane.

The actual ceremony is a conscious effort by the couples going an extra mile to commit their union into a sacramental bonding!!!!

It is a rite that seals the union and adds extra layers of commitment and announce to the world the couples are now indivisible.

shaybebaby:



What changes in the relationship after marriage because of the legalization of the union? Nothing.

Everything changes!!! That ceremony and rites never leaves the consciousness of the couple. The experience!!!

An adopted child can't ever be the same with a birthed child to the mother. Marriage doesn't mean much to you. You have been westernised into a shack-up evangelist

shaybebaby:



You don't just become a new being afterwards, the issues you dealt before marriage i.e the practical ones, work, eating, maintaining yourself don't change because of that single event. those things are bound to evolve anyways whether single or married. You don't get promoted at work because you now have a new legal partner, your bills don't change except of course you are a single income household and now you have to support two on the same wages.
His/her jokes don't suddenly become funnier because of it, you are essentially the same individuals you were before you took plunge, your innate characters remain the same...except of course you've been hiding the real you all along.
My point is the differences that arise do because of decisions made. A woman or man does for example does not immediately become a housewife/husband upon marriage but as a result of decisions made or circumstance e.g redundancy, birth of their child.

Having a child, now that's different, bear in mind that before there was two, now you have three, four etc to consider in addition to what existed before.

I use my experience as a point of reference but I also observe others and how they interact. I am always looking to learn but because I recognize individuality, I realize that what works for one will not necessarily work for another.

I don't see much of a correlation here; you lost me.

shaybebaby:


Our personal beliefs are that-personal. My objection to religious tenets is that I KNOW this already, I don't want stuff I know already quoted at me, I want to know what the person feels and why they feel that is the truth. If their belief is founded in religion, fine but when I ask why they believe it to be true, I don't want to hear " Because God said.." or have more scriptures thrown at me when I am simply asking for reason.

Well you aren't a Christian, Christianity in the West is declining as lions in the Serengeti plains.

And yes, I find the biblical guidelines for marriage to be selfless and fair, way better than your selfish inclination to jump ship the moment your captain seems to be inadvertently overwhelmed by marital tides.

A man who stays with you all his life but didn't marry you isn't yours and you aren't his. No matter how many kids involved.
The only reason the both of you didn't go the extra mile of marriage rites is because deep down, in the core of uncompromised assessment, you know you may walk away again, you don't want to be held down by long paper work of divorce.

You don't like commitment, dear.

You want to be like the birds in the sky; they're here today and tomorrow gone.

Fly on.

EfemenaXY:


Must you use vile words, to make your point?

I've been following the exchanges on here, and there hasn't been a single instance of shaybebaby resorting to insults to score cheap points. I'm disappointed, Njokusboy.

Uggh... please, this thing you just posted is not only hypocritical but annoying... But I no go vex.. below is a bit from shayes post

Still, you have displayed that you are not capable of reasoning independently by bringing in what I asked you not to include.. God. It wouldn't be so bad if you had other things to say in ADDITION to your religious beliefs but no, nada.

Whilst I'm not religious, I do believe that religion and reason don't have to be mutually exclusive. My advise to you, try to find room for both in your brain....

Now madam efe, if you don't see anything patronising or insulting in this post, then I have nothing to say to you... You are not disappointed, ur just being hypocritical... I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU...

EfemenaXY:


Oh pls!

Going by the following excerpt, men are also guilty (and very gullible) of this too.



A man married his heartthrob. After almost 10 years in the marriage the wife became an Oil tycoon. She runs a thriving business that takes her to almost every part of the world. The husband. Still scraping by.
The woman loved her hubby. He drives her everywhere and she seeks out his opinion on almost all matters. Jolly fellows. The husband has 5 out of the 9 cars on the fleet. With the least being a 2012 Prado. Big boy. His wife takes care of him.
Okay the meat of the story. The man was with his friends at a regular hangout and the conversation that ensued is both hilarious and a huge lesson:
Friend: "You! I am sorry for you. Your wife has used your destiny. She's soo rich whilst you're merely scraping by. Doing fake big boy. We all know your wife is the source of all your bigboyism. Oloshi! You better think twice. Snatch your destiny away from her!"
Husband: "Thanks for the advice. You see let me tell you something you don't know o. I am 45 years old and for 35 years I never knew how to use my destiny. I was suffering. Even to eat na wahala! Now I got married 10 years ago to my wife and she knows how to use my destiny. Now I ride latest cars and travel with her to any part of the world that even you my friends haven't been before. I am going home now to inform my wife to continue using my destiny o. Infact! She must make sure she finishes it all. It must not remain"=

Source: Unknown.

interesting story you wrote up there. Truth is, both men & women are guilty of listening to advice from unfriendly friends but women are more guilty after all the woman was deceived first before man. She was in transgression first

raumdeuter:
Bukatyne what do you have to say to this post. Remember we had a discussion like this some time ago

Hi,

I will get back to you, even on the other post.

Space/response booking things

Have a great day

Modified:

I agree with her pratically that the ceremony changes nothing.

I always say no magic happens after the vows; a lying thieving idi.it remains so post wedding ceremony.

My argument for a wedding is majorly religious...

So I can nack legally.

njokusboy:


You see the problem with kids like you, why start throwing subliminals when you have nothing to say only to cop out when things start to heat up??

So this is all you have to say, at the end, you are just like the rest, all talk and no brains...

It matters not to one jot to me what you think. The very tone of your questions is laced with bitterness and anger.
You are entitled to your opinions and whatever floats your boat, that's your ish. I do not seek your validation nor is it required.
Not matter what you say, or think..it makes no difference. You are insignificant in the greater scheme of things. Enjoy wallowing in darkness.

AlphaDex:
The actual ceremony is a conscious effort by the couples going an extra mile to commit their union into a sacramental bonding!!!!

It is a rite that seals the union and adds extra layers of commitment and announce to the world the couples are now indivisible.

Everything changes!!! That ceremony and rites never leaves the consciousness of the couple. The experience!!!

An adopted child can't ever be the same with a birthed child to the mother. Marriage doesn't mean much to you. You have been westernised into a shack-up evangelist

I don't see much of a correlation here; you lost me.




Well you aren't a Christian, Christianity in the West is declining as lions in the Serengeti plains.

And yes, I find the biblical guidelines for marriage to be selfless and fair, way better than your selfish inclination to jump ship the moment your captain seems to be inadvertently overwhelmed by marital tides.

A man who stays with you all his life but didn't marry you isn't yours and you aren't his. No matter how many kids involved.
The only reason the both of you didn't go the extra mile of marriage rites is because deep down, in the core of uncompromised assessment, you know you may walk away again, you don't want to be held down by long paper work of divorce.

You don't like commitment, dear.

You want to be like the birds in the sky; they're here today and tomorrow gone.

Fly on.

We'll all be gone tomorrow, why on earth you think it is just birds beats me.
All the more reason to live life to the fullest and not merely exist. YOLO.
And even if it's just plain co-habiting, kini big deal?

shaybebaby:

You are mistaken, I got married in building which happened to be a church. Whilst I realise that it such establishments are sacred to people, for me, it was functional.

Okay I'm interfering again, truth is I ended our exchange last night cos I needed to go offline...but I'm reading you here again typing the same thing about making use of a building not because it was a church but because of the sentimental attachment to the building.

Just to point me in the right direction, I'll just ask you directly:
Did you take Christian vows during your wedding, and was it officiated by a pastor/priest?