...her conditions that we shall not be romantically involved, no sex not even kissing...

donbenedict:
Who cursed this boy like dis

SeishinSenshi:
Man your love is really strong for you to still be holding on after five years . Well you've been asking for a chance and you have it now, don't throw it away. Be sensitive to her needs, show genuine interest in her well being, randomly call or text her reminding her of your love (don't overdo it though, that can be annoying), get to know her favorite things and places and surprise her with them. Just be spontaneous and try to be a little romantic.

However bro my humble advice is this. Seeing that it took her over 5 years to agree to you, tell her to not rush things. You might just be a partner to while away time. Take time to study her and decide whether you're just a pass time or this is real. Good luck you'll need it plenty.

Chongaiman:
O boy! Five years on, your village people are not relenting...

MrPin:
Good evening Romancelanders, I guess u guys are enjoying ur weekend?
Let me go straight to the point coz I don't want to bore u with my long epistle. Some months ago I open a thread on this forum on how I was friendzoned by a girl I asked out for over 5years and ended up giving me a duplex @friendzone Avenue coz all I was to her was jst a friend.
https://www.nairaland.com/2921976/need-duplex-friendzone-avenue
Alot of bashing and advice came in from u guys which I accept with good faith and moved on.
Something happened last two weeks after her birthday coz I reminded her of my unending love for her and few days later she called me and apologise for the emotional stress she's made me gone through and finally agreed to date me which stated her conditions that we shall not be romantically involved, no sex not even kissing.
Well, I told her I was cool with it but she will have to give me time so I can think of it and probably make arrangement on how to move from my duplex at friendzone avenue to God knows where. The truth is, I still love her and I wouldn't have mind going with d no sex thing but putting in such condition after so many years is unthinkable.
Now, here is the issue, we talked on phone this morning and she complained of me not behaving, acting or better still assuming the position of a boyfriend to her which she might be right. My fellow Nairalanders, what do u think I can do to assume that responsibility of a boyfriend? Coz the truth is am not too sure if I still wants to have a life with her. On her own part, why would she subject me to such condition?
Thanks in anticipation for ur responses...

MrPin:
Good evening Romancelanders, I guess u guys are enjoying ur weekend?
Let me go straight to the point coz I don't want to bore u with my long epistle. Some months ago I open a thread on this forum on how I was friendzoned by a girl I asked out for over 5years and ended up giving me a duplex @friendzone Avenue coz all I was to her was jst a friend.
https://www.nairaland.com/2921976/need-duplex-friendzone-avenue
Alot of bashing and advice came in from u guys which I accept with good faith and moved on.
Something happened last two weeks after her birthday coz I reminded her of my unending love for her and few days later she called me and apologise for the emotional stress she's made me gone through and finally agreed to date me which stated her conditions that we shall not be romantically involved, no sex not even kissing.
Well, I told her I was cool with it but she will have to give me time so I can think of it and probably make arrangement on how to move from my duplex at friendzone avenue to God knows where. The truth is, I still love her and I wouldn't have mind going with d no sex thing but putting in such condition after so many years is unthinkable.
Now, here is the issue, we talked on phone this morning and she complained of me not behaving, acting or better still assuming the position of a boyfriend to her which she might be right. My fellow Nairalanders, what do u think I can do to assume that responsibility of a boyfriend? Coz the truth is am not too sure if I still wants to have a life with her. On her own part, why would she subject me to such condition?
Thanks in anticipation for ur responses...

SHE JUST PUT YOU IN ECONOMY ZONE, SHE WANTS TO USE YOU AND DUMP YOU AFTER ALL THE ECONOMY IS NOT SMILING NOW, SO MANY GIRLS ARE DOING THAT. Shine ya eyes

Billiondoe:



SHE JUST PUT YOU IN ECONOMY ZONE, SHE WANTS TO USE YOU AND DUMP YOU AFTER ALL THE ECONOMY IS NOT SMILING NOW, SO MANY GIRLS ARE DOING THAT. Shine ya eyes

NevetsIbot:
a moment of silence for our brother in the ''advanced friendzone''

anonym0us:
Op let her propose to u .... It seems u are the woman and while she's the man

MrPin:

Haba bro.... An advice will be better.
But why do guys thinks its wrong to love for that long?

mrkay101:
Why re u all bashing the guy? We all pray for true love but no one seems to appriciate it when we see it.

My advice, op ask her why the sudden change in mind. After 5 long years she now wants to give u a try. don'tjst say yes so she won't leave u when she meets someone better. Who knows, maybe she wants to use u to make another guy jealous.

MrPin:


Really appreciate, I won't allow myself to be used

MrPin:

Haba bro.... An advice will be better.
But why do guys thinks its wrong to love for that long?

NET1:
Jesus Christ!

Is this happening in this 2016? Ok. let me help you with an article that might help you. It was composed and posted by a legend here on Nairaland some years back.

Enjoy reading.

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I used to be like many of the whiners here on Nairaland, “Oh I'm so in love with this babe but she's treating me badly, what do I do? what do I do?”. That was a long time ago and now I am wise and believe me I learnt from the school of hard knocks, this women dealt with me mercilessly until I actually sat down to analyze them and their ways and figured out the language they speak. If you think maintaining a woman is about excess love, showing affection, kindness, forgiveness, religion and all that bullsh*t, you're dead wrong, treat a woman too good, she will find an excuse to leave ( “I was once dumped by a chick who later told her friend, I was 'too nice'.”). But they will stay with an “omo rapala” that mistreats them day after day after day.


Even fellowship girls are still tempted by young men of the world and leave their fellow fellowship brothers to look for bad boys to convert. They are never satisfied with a squeaky clean good man. To them every guy that is too good is a nuisance. Even the ones that are married have only calmed down and become good in order to trap a husband that offers them security or at least a husband that has managed to figure out their buttons. Be wise, young men, be wise.

Maintaining women of all shapes ages and sizes is all about control and remaining in control. The moment you lose control, you lose yourself and a woman will ride you till the very end. Some people say all sorts of rubbish, “Oh my woman is not like that, she's different”, all that one na story, Eve betrayed Adam, Delilah betrayed Samson, so who on earth is your woman that she won't act like those that came before her?

There are different levels of control, there is no control, artificial control and true control. No control is the default situation most guys fall into. They love a woman and believe everything she says in the heat of passion ”I'll never ever leave you”, “I can't wait to marry you” etc etc, and deceive themselves into overconfidence and over love. A no control guy does not know how to tell his babe no and is always apologizing even when it is not his fault. When they start exhibiting too much attention and love, the chick gets bored and starts looking for “rude boys” somewhere. Then her mind starts wavering and she starts telling you “I need space”, “I'm confused”. When you hear these words you're in trouble.

Unfortunately most young guy today no dey hear word and they will start reminiscing about the sweet nothings the babe told them when the going was good and continue to misbehave and show over love and over affection. Meanwhile one bad guy fit dey comb the babe for corner somewhere. In the end the chick leaves and the guy is in a wreck, crying, complaining to his friends begging etc and at that point the girl no go wan hear again, anything you're saying is a waste of time. A chick will bring up some of the dumbest excuses when she wants to dump you. She might regret leaving you later but all that one na Tales By Moonlight what matters is the wrecked condition she will leave you in at that moment.


The next level of control is artificial control. Artificial control works a lot in Nigeria today, and people exercise this level of control primarily by having money. This is what the so called big boys and sugar daddies use to maintain their babes. Some poor guys starving on their pocket money and University allowances even try to maintain this level of control to their own downfall. With artificial control a girl might screw around but will not really leave you until she finds another guy with better control than you. The best way to use artificial control is ruthlessly, if you have money and control them with money make sure you take no crap from them or else they will turn you to a MUGU and you fall into the no control category even though you have money.

Remember money is relative. Some guy has more than you somewhere. Some guys exercise artificial control through other means as well, such as being older, being in a bigger office, better school, living in a bigger house etc. Until the chick meets someone with better control she will not leave but always remember you are in control and use it to your advantage. Don't boast about it though as they really hate it when you point out that the reason they are with you is because of artificial control ( even though we know its true). All those threads written by sacked bankers on Nairaland who have lost their babes are a result of the artificial control category. Control go, babe go.

Guys without money should remember this ( University boys open your eyes) the moment you start spending to maintain control, you will never stop and this is a problem when you do not have money so students, graduate trainees and people without money should avoid money artificial control as much as possible. You will only wreck yourself financially, because they will only get greedier and you will find out you cannot keep up and she will use the money you have used to better her looks, wardrobe and her life to find a replacement for you. They always want to upgrade. If you have money to spend it is okay to use artificial control just make sure you do it in a responsible way, not in a way chicks will use “MUGU” to replace your name on their phones.


The last control category is true control. Maintain this level of control and you are the true guru. You are the Don Juan, the guy women trip and fall down for regardless of whether or whether not. The true control man is in control of EVERYTHING. He will not chase a babe he cannot control or who he knows will want to lord over him. Before he spends his money on a woman he makes sure that she knows who is in control and spends his money sparingly, in fact she might spend more than him. If she tells him she is in her male corpers friends house sleeping because she does not have light he laughs and tells her “I hope he knows how to screw well, I know you're probably lonely”. It might pain him inside but you will never see it, because he knows that if she finds out he is jealous he is finished, if she feels he is not jealous, she will correct herself and find call him 20 times a day to make sure he truly loves her.


The guy who shouts at his babe and tells her what sort of nonsense is that ( why should she sleep in Mr Corper-With-Generator's house) is maintaining artificial control, she will tell him she won't do it again and do it the next day and for the next 10 months, and get combed mercilessly by Mr. Corper-With-Generator and his colleagues. It takes 10 minutes for a quickie and that place does not have a gauge you will use to measure who did and did not do when she comes back. Artificial control men and no control men should take note.

In fact most of the accomplished true control guys have barricaded their hearts a long time ago. They show affection strategically and when a chick leasts expects it. They are not always complete bast@rds, they will send flowers and call a babe to check on how she is doing but they do it strategically and sparingly. Too much of ice cream and chocolate is not good. Too much visiting of woman is not good. Calling her more than she calls you is an equally silly idea. If she calls twice call once. What bothers other guys does not bother men of true control. Even if they love a chick they will never show it more than the chick shows it. They say I love you three times a year. This sort of guy might love a chick but still screw one or two around to ensure that he remains in control of his senses.

Sex is sex, love is a different kettle of fish. Sex helps you keep things in perspective. Screw one woman too much, you might become silly and lose control. Fidelity is over rated my brothers, you can love a woman but don't confuse it with being faithful. If she suspects you are screwing outside, thats okay for them, just make sure you're never caught and she only suspects, suspicion is good, it keeps her on her feet, she knows she can be replaced. When she sees that text message on your phone, tell her “you are the only one for me “ and buy enough “ chocolate and flowers” and then leave her to think. But NEVER keep two chicks, you should have one chick and the occasional ones you are chopping outside to maintain perspective and self-control, that way you won't create unnecessary problems for yourself. If you are not on the financial capability of Atiku Abubakar, polygamy is a bad idea. If you can retain control without screwing outside, fine for you. But the day your woman is caught screwing outside, you will feel seriously cuckolded and feel like a fool.

A true control guy will NEVER date a woman he cannot control. A woman who does not respect you is one you have no control over, these women do not understand equality, look at the divorce rate in America ! A true control guy has ALL control but he never uses money to control too much. He never makes it about money or how much he has. Most true control guys have more money than the women they control, other much more skilled true control guys may have less money but always make sure that she knows who is boss. Because once you let a women who's money is longer than yours gain control, you are finished. A true control guy also has koboko control ( meaning he knows how to give it to her in bed, if you do not know better learn by hiring a skilled Pay As You Go or else she will leave you for the first Mr. Magic Stick). In fact koboko control is way better than money control. Look at Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Honsou, you go no say na koboko dey at work, no be by fine face or too much money. ( No offense to Russel Simmons but he had artificial control).

A true control guy also has fashion control, he knows how to dress and be neat ( it might not be the most expensive stuff he wears but he looks smart and neat always, he has fashion sense). A true control guy also knows how to tell his babe no and stick to his no. They rarely say “I'm sorry” and always make a chick laugh or some other tactic to avoid using those words. A chicks friends will beef this sort of guy in public and on forums like Nairaland and berate their friends for dating him but will secretly dream of screwing him. It even helps when the guy acts nice to the chicks friends, but not too nice (as in we are all age-mates level, respect must be maintained at all costs, chicks know how to disrespect a guy who plays with them too much). All men should strive to attain true control. True control will give you peace of mind and undying attention.

Be wise, my brothers be wise, enough of these tears on Nairaland. These days more men come here to complain than women. This is a war we have to win at all costs. For the sake of the male reputation. For more advice, I am here all week. Remember I have been beaten before but I am now wise, I exercise true control now and take no nonsense from them. If you let them bring you down they will finish you and your village people will say it is the work of juju and your uncles and aunties.
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Grow some balls and stop being a wussy. Kick this bitch to the curb [where she belongs], get another damsel and move on with your life.

.NET

Cannonleo:
my g oluwa bless u. See better theory