SEX IN MY RELATIONSHIP; WHY NOT?
Let me take a quick wild guess; it’s either you belong to a school of thought below or….:
• You are already having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend and you feel that is holding the relationship, but you want to stop
• You are already having sex, you don’t see anything wrong with it, you don’t think you should stop, you only want to seek validation to continue.
• You have decided to celibate until marriage but you are in a relationship where your partner is pressurizing you to have sex
• You’ve never had sex before, are under zero pressure but you feel you are missing out
• and finally you are not having sex, you don’t want to engage it but you want validation.
If you do not belong to any of the groups above, you are definitely not human!
The mammoth pressure everyone has to pass through to have sex daily because of the emphasis placed on it, by the media has got everyone in a tight box. Till everyone feels it is THE deciding factor of keeping a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
Get this, SEX is a pleasure that will wear out. Whilst it is a pleasurable and enjoyable experience, it is easily forgotten and may not have the exclusive ability to keep that boyfriend or girlfriend you think you can’t live without.
Is premarital sex replaceable?
What can be more important than sex?
What can confidently make you forgo sex?
What are the better alternatives to sex in a relationship?
Do a quick assessment of your relationship.
Fill the spaces that apply to your relationship right now.
DO YOU TOUCH IN THE RIGHT WAY? ______________
Touching is a great way to communicate your feelings to your partner. There are various ways to touch. A good one is hugging. Another is holding hands. Hugs provide closeness and intimacy. Holding hands is a loving gesture that shows how much you care.
DO YOU TALK ABOUT ANYTHING & EVERYTHING? ______________
Communication is key. It’s goes beyond the regular ‘Have you eaten?’, ‘What are you wearing?’ Do you share your feelings with your partner; tell each other how much you care, projects you’re working on, your aspirations, fears and everything in between.
DO YOU SHARE INTIMACY WITHOUT SEXUALITY? _______________
Intimacy goes beyond sexual intercourse—It is about closeness, being together, and sharing in each other’s interests, which can open up new avenues of intimacy. Interest includes athletic, like tennis, football, jogging; something intellectual, like taking a class together, joining a book club or signing up for a series of lectures, concerts or plays; or something creative, like painting or cooking together. The benefits of such activities extend beyond the immediate pleasure of being together; the new interests will stimulate your brain and provide numerous new opportunities for conversation.
DO YOU KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE BIG PICTURE? ______________
Every relationship must have a foundation; something that drives both of you to stay together, the future you both see, and what you want to achieve together as a couple.
DO YOU FEED YOUR FANTASIES? ____________
It’s normal to think about sex sometimes. In fact, with the way advertising and the movie industry exploit sex, it would be impossible not to think about it. Do you choose your entertainment carefully and wisely?
HAVE YOU AGREED ON STANDARDS? ____________
Discuss and agree on the standards of your relationship with your partner. Discuss ways your friendship can help each of you become a better person.
DO YOU PUT REAL LOVE INTO COGNIZANCE? ____________
Genuine love always respects the other person. It never says, “If you love me, you’ll … ” Real love is respecting the other party and not blackmailing or forcing them to do anything you will both regret later.
Time for RESULT.
You could only say YES to 3 or less? You need serious help.
You said YES to more than 3 BUT you are having sex in your relationship? You need to get your priorities right
You said YES to more than 3 BUT you are under pressure to have sex, then you need to learn how to direct the pressure to the right places  what's hard?? |
