Im a new nairalander :-) and I must say Im impressed with what Ive seen so far.

Ive a problem weighing on my mind to share with the house. Heres how it goes;

I recently ended a relationship with a guy who said he wasnt ready to commit himself to 'a future' with me (thinking of gettiing married in the next 3 yrs). I also found him quite insensitive and sometimes very immature. On the upside, we share a common passion for films, books and music, and generally, we always had sthng to talk bout. Hes also very smart, sophisticated and witty. There was a strong sexual connxtn as well (ps dont blush, lol), he cd neva do wrong by me, kissing or being intimate.

Part 2: Ive been friends with the second guy b4 I started dating my ex, it wasnt until a few months back that I realised we had feelings for each other. We've decided to start dating now. Its really intense I tell you :-). Hes so generous and very caring, and religious. Problem is, hes so emotional (gets hurt easily), and very efficoish lol. Hes a homebody, has zero interest in music, books, movies arrrgh, Im trying not to rush into being intimate with him but the sexual affinity doesnt seem to be there (yet?), even though Ive known him longer than ex, and he is even more handsome than him. Weird, I know,

Sorry to bore you guys but now Im thinking, what is compatibility really? can I teach the new man in my life to develop an interest in the things I like, and will I ever be truly satisfied with sum1 with no common interests as myself? and what if he was the most loving, caring, generous and romantic man in the world,

My ex has said hes not against a reconciliation, but why would I go back to sum1 who doesnt appreciate me as a person the way I want? even though we enjoy the same hobbies?

Tryin to get my head around the situation, and friends arent helping with conflicting advice :-)

I cant mess this up pls, guys your comments/suggestions are really welcome.

Peace.

Hi babe,
Welcome to nairaland.
To be sincere, this thing called emotion can be very confusing. Even experts find it difficult to explain sometimes. I have discovered somethings lately by myself and thru friends, I cant even explain.
I Pray u find answers to ur questions soon.

Really matters of d heart cn be frustrating n I always ask myself why d right person luvs u wrong. Thers 1thing i always say sha;itz better to be with a guy that loves u than a guy that u love,besides i tink guy 2 may be a chance to have relatnship that is objective n nt blinded by passion or d fact dt u share common interests. If he really likes u,he may take interest in the things u love. My sister's husband is nt really a music person bt he's started appreciatin music because of her. About the attraction part dnt rush it,it wud grow wit time. I dnt advise u stick wt a guy that won't appreciate u

Really matters of d heart cn be frustrating n I always ask myself why d right person luvs u wrong. Thers 1thing i always say sha;itz better to be with a guy that loves u than a guy that u love,besides i tink guy 2 may be a chance to have relatnship that is objective n nt blinded by passion or d fact dt u share common interests. If he really likes u,he may take interest in the things u love. My sister's husband is nt really a music person bt he's started appreciatin music because of her. About the attraction part dnt rush it,it wud grow wit time. I dnt advise u stick wt a guy that won't appreciate u

Thanks to nikegenius and sayoh for your thoughts.

Well, theres a twist in the tale. Mr Effico turns out to be not so 'nice' after all. He has said he doesnt want a relationship any longer. So Im back to square one. 

The reason I left my ex is becos Mr Effico said, I will treat you so much better than he does, and I really care about you bla bla, Little did I know he was going to be singing a different tune a few months down the line.

I know that if Mr Effico really loved me as he claimed he did, he would have never hurt me so badly. So it seems like even though Im compatible with these two guys, it doesnt mean I stand a chance with them!! Ah, life, you never know whats round the corner. 

The moral of the story is, even the guys you're compatible with may still treat you badly. I was ready to compromise on love, but you know what, compatibility without love is like tea without sugar, and I have a sweet tooth. So, pls pass me the sugar!!!

Peace

LOL.

I Wonder what ever happened to this story!

mystikal:

LOL.

I Wonder what ever happened to this story!

Lol, same here It would have been a thread i would have loved to sink my teeth into

Meanwilly, she was not fully compartible with both of them, cos she did not have emotional compability with the first guy and sexual compartibility with the second guy

Couldnt they all just have a party and be happy!

on a serious note, I feel for her _{thats if hers was a legit story}. People always tend 2 look for the perfect rship, it seldom works that way.

mystikal:

Couldnt they all just have a party and be happy!

on a serious note, I feel for her _{thats if hers was a legit story}. People always tend 2 look for the perfect rship, it seldom works that way.

Now I would not mind that type of party cos I will be having two men to myself, Yay Can't share my man though so party with two women is out


Well we all can't get the ideal perfect relationship but can strive for 95% by being true to ourselves, I believe If you are dating someone and their is something bothering you about them, try to work it out with them, if they are not willing to cooperate, I move on, sorry I don't do compromises and my tolerance level has a limit

Busy_body:



Now I would not mind that type of party cos I will be having two men to myself, Yay Can't share my man though so party with two women is out

selfish you! . never mind we're all wired that way!

yeah i get ur point. being in a clearly uncomfortable rship sucks!no point wasting time in one! _{aniston readily comes 2 mind, lol}

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three good manners of male pe.nis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance that is compatibilty