You know people talk about the joys of a marriage. And then you look at yourself, and your own marriage, you find that it's not exactly as they say. More like reading a text book and finding that you have a different experience.

Sometimes you're married to someone every one sees and they're like, "wow! She's Married to him, she must be really lucky," and you're like, "I wish they knew better.
It can be painful. You just know you are living below the potential of your marriage..

You cannot CONFIRM their TESTIMONIES, not of your relationship nor of your partner.

I want to show you something.. .
Actually, the road to a better marriage BEGINS FROM THAT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.
That acknowledgement that you're truly living below the potential of your marriage. That knowing that it can really be better than this.
And that something can be done about it.

I'm serious about this. You see, many people are in relationships or marriages that are less than satisfactory. They are with spouses that they know can really do better if they wanted to. But they have resigned themselves to status quo. They tell themselves "this is my lot, it is my own share of life's troubles. It is my own share of life's pains. And I must learn to live with it. So they have no willingness to have more.

When you become accustomed to what is, you have no willingness to change it, though you may wish change. But how can one change without a willingness, a strong will, a knowing within you that you don't want to remain at this level. You want to dig deeper, into the place where you too can experience the great joys of the coupled life. I once read, that a man cannot get to where he wants to go, except he is ready to live the place that he is, so you must have a strong WILLINGNESS to see CHANGE.

But if a desire to change only was the all in one solution to your relationship troubles, you know you should be having a great relationship. Because in fact, you're so tired you wish for some magic to happen. That's right, and the magic is just about to happen.
The truth is that it takes more than a will.

You've probably heared that where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. You have just not reasoned that a way is HOW something is done. Many people desire change in a relationship, they desire happiness, they desire true joy, but they will never settle down to think about what they might have to do to have it.
The issue, is not even about wether they are doing something. But it's more about doing the right thing and about wether they're doing it the RIGHT WAY. So then, you want to agree with me that the greatest relationship challenge you have to deal with right now, is your IGNORANCE.

What don't you know then? First, You are not aware of the good things in your relationship.
When you're too focused on all the things that are going wrong in your relationship, it can become pretty difficult seeing any other thing.

Many times we focus on the wrong things, and we ask the wrong questions. Learn to focus on the right things and ask the right questions. You've heard of this analogy of a half glass of water. Some see it as half full. Others see it as half empty. It tells wether you're focusing on the negatives or on the positives. Life will always bring you what you seek, you will always see what you look for. In a relationship or marriage, instead of asking questions that bring you lessons, ask more questions that bring you results. "Why do we always quarrel" flip, "how can we stop quarrelling always." 'why am I always angry' "how can I become more happy" sometimes you learn lessons that don't show you the route to change, it just tells you what's wrong with you.And you can become so focused on what is wrong with you, that you loose all your power to make any progress. Learn lessons, and learn how to get better results.

You have to begin from this point of ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. This glass is not half empty, it is half full. What is great and unique about this relationship. What I'm I grateful for about my partner, that is the first thing you have to settle. It will be very difficult today, to find any happiness in your relationship if you cannot pinpoint anything that is good of the relationship. Maybe you have gotten to the place where the privileges you enjoy have become normal for you, and therefore you have forgotten that they are privileges.



We are not talking about resigning yourself to a life of mediocrity. We are not talking about accepting a life of doom and misery. But we are talking about real contentment. I'm not talking about resigning yourself to the woes of your relationship, but finding joy in the things that be. You see, Though there be things that define what a good relationship looks like, yet we cannot deny that 'good' can be relative. Are you not sure your definitions of what you define a happy relationship are too high.

Let us look at this. Have you actually considered that the people who say your relationship is great, or your partner is a great person at least had some truth to what they are saying. Have you considered those people will be glad to have a relationship like yours. You may want to discard it as coming from their ignorance of the challenges you have in your relationship. Yet we speak not of challenges. We are taking about the positives that people see. To change a situation or someone, you must begin from the positives, because THAT WILL DEFINITELY BE YOUR PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.

So you must express your happiness about the things that are good in your relationship. You must express them to yourself, and you must express them to your partner. That is where it starts from. Contentment and sincere gratefulness will influence many areas of your life. It will for one influence your attitude towards your partner. This is powerful. Your own happiness in your relationship is greatly affected by the attitude you have towards your partner. If your partner is always the villain in your Holywood movie, I don't see how you can get any happiness from interacting with someone that you consider an enemy. That is why some recasting is necessary. That is why we have to look for some truth about the good qualities of your spouse, that is why we have to make a commitment to rehearse these qualities in the hearing of your spouse.

You don't know what appreciation can do in someone's life. Appreciation is a great tool in the hands of a change seeker. I believe in the power of appreciation. It can turn a stone face into a smile. It can calm an angry soul. It can turn rage into indifference. It can turn innocent and light hearted involvement into committed involvement. It brings a sense of value, a sense of significance and most importantly a sense of responsibility. Appreciation is gratitude, it is a thankful recognition of specific deeds and qualities. It must become part of your essence. It must become part of your being. It must become part of your daily routine. You must take out time to say a sincere thank you and a expression of thankful feelings to your spouse over this specific thing and that specific quality.
If you can reach this milestone, you would have solved your problem beyond halfway.

Because you would realise, that both you and your partner are already feeling some good feelings about your relationship. And if it continues, you're eventually going to shove all the bad feeling away.

We shall continue. Please share.

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Tnx bt u make me miss my bae more

Thanks. Will do d reading later