Hello Guys,

All protocol observe,

I will go straight to the point. I have being dating my gf since the past 6 years and i planned to get married this year ending, all things being equal. From the first day we started she give me rules like, NO BLEEPING till marriage and BLINDLY ACCEPTED (thou not a priority to me)and on the long run i was really discipline and focused on my goals in life.

fast forward; Just yesterday we decided to go see my eldest brother to seek his consent as part of tradition(South East) and seek his consent. After the usual pleasantries my elder asked my gf the following question;

Where do you work?
How old are you?
Where are you from?
How much do your earn?
What your phenotype?

Her Answers

Secretary XYZ company
31 years old
Edo State
80k monthly
phenotype 'SS'

Same Question to me

IT Manager ABC Company
31 years old
Imo State
60k
Phenotype AA


My elder Brother called me later and gave the lecture of my life and told me that if i go ahead with the plan I should count him out and he will wash his hands off me.

I have not being myself. Please guys what do i do ?


Matured minds please Thank you.

Oga Lalala front page abeg.

Op based on ur monthly earnings, I will say tz not a bad idea, I mean dia re lot of families wia d wife earns more Dan d hubby, besides dia z a chance of u getting anoda job.



but on d issue of phenotype I'll say CAPITAL NO to d marriage. u need to think about d future of your unborn kids and not just d love btw u both.

do not bring dos precious kids to this world to suffer d sickness they know notin about


#my 2cent

Your brother is a wise man...

It maybe because of the genotype ish. Most people fear SS like mad. But I think there's no much issue there since you're AA. But before then, ask your brother why he doesn't agree with the marriage

you should listen to your heart and try to know if you actually love her, because her condition is a very painful and bad one but its manageable and as for your kids they wont have the SS genotype they will just be carriers AS that's if you're sure you're actually AA. You shouldn't leave her because someone made you to, it should be your decision then try to put yourself in her shoes and do what you think its fair if it was you

I am sure d reason is cus of d genotype...bt mke I as question ooo, if AA no marry ss, hu wan marry dem...oga go ahead and marry her, ur children wld b perfect. dey wld get sick sumtimes whch is normal to everyone. I tot it was ur parents self dat said no bt ur bro, guy folo ur hrt.

Thanks guys for the comments thus far, My brother got influence as i am typing this now he just called for my In'tl passport i asked why he said you are leave his country.( this is serious) and hung up. My people even if i won go ahead with my plans my family is behind him shy make i go rent crowd i can't even concentrate anymore at work anymore.

I need to understand the lecture yr brother gave u because i don't see any tin work in both of u gettin married

If that your brother is a wizard, he might probably have seen what we all could not rather see, therefore, listen to him.
Any other fucking thing apart from that is sh*t.....Marry your Darling Angel and live happy ever after.

chinnasa:
Hello Guys,

All protocol observe,

I will go straight to the point. I have being dating my gf since the past 6 years and i planned to get married this year ending, all things being equal. From the first day we started she give me rules like, NO BLEEPING till marriage and BLINDLY ACCEPTED (thou not a priority to me)and on the long run i was really discipline and focused on my goals in life.

fast forward; Just yesterday we decided to go see my eldest brother to seek his consent as part of tradition(South East) and seek his consent. After the usual pleasantries my elder asked my gf the following question;

Where do you work?
How old are you?
Where are you from?
How much do your earn?
What your phenotype?

Her Answers

Secretary XYZ company
31 years old
Edo State
80k monthly
phenotype 'SS'

Same Question to me

IT Manager ABC Company
31 years old
Imo State
60k
Phenotype AA


My elder Brother called me later and gave the lecture of my life and told me that if i go ahead with the plan I should count him out and he will wash his hands off me.

I have not being myself. Please guys what do i do ?


Matured minds please Thank you.

Oga Lalala front page abeg.

what are his reasons he gave to you, bcus for him to have told you not to go ahead with the marriage plans, then he must have a good reason. so what are they?

schumastic:

what are his reasons he gave to you, bcus for him to have told you not to go ahead with the marriage plans, then he must have a good reason. so what are they?

Thank you guys for your comments, question and advise.

My brother raised 3 points.
Age ( that we are both age mates and everything will change after marriage he spoke on respect and all sorts) secondly Genotype and the issues of child bearing, complications and crises of a sickle cell person. Thirdly Tribal difference which is not really an issue but the children will end up being too English speaking children that do i wonder why majority of men from the South west no matter what happens or every tribe they date end up marrying their own tribe even an Edo man will not settle down with any tribe that all his staff (men) who are Edo play around with other girls from different tribes and end up with an Edo woman though he was quite sentimental there.

guy! this girl has crying since Sunday evening and i am really heartbroken to see her cry even if i have consoled her over and over.

hmmmmm i don tire

chinnasa:


Thank you guys for your comments, question and advise.

My brother raised 3 points.
Age ( that we are both age mates and everything will change after marriage he spoke on respect and all sorts) secondly Genotype and the issues of child bearing, complications and crises of a sickle cell person. Thirdly Tribal difference which is not really an issue but the children will end up being too English speaking children that do i wonder why majority of men from the South west no matter what happens or every tribe they date end up marrying their own tribe even an Edo man will not settle down with any tribe that all his staff (men) who are Edo play around with other girls from different tribes and end up with an Edo woman though he was quite sentimental there.

guy! this girl has crying since Sunday evening and i am really heartbroken to see her cry even if i have consoled her over and over.

hmmmmm i don tire

wow i get your brother point and i won't say he is right but if am to rate his percentage then i will say he is 60% right

1.age: he seem to have a point there cus the age difference is really an issue although some people will say is a number but bro is better to marry someone younger but if you feel the love you will still have for her will remain the same even after 5yrs, then you can overlook it and don't use it against her when she start looking like her age except if she is not the lazy type who won't keep fit.

2.genotype:am not a doctor neither am i God, what i will advice you is this, go to a good hospital and meet the doctor, explain things to him leave out the emotions so the doctor won't b sentimental and ask him for the best advice he can give to you..me personal would not want a situation were my kids will be sick all the time all because i took a wrong decision.so if the doctor said it is not a big deal, then that aspect is solved but if he says otherwise, pls do the kids a favor and save them from future pain.

3.tribal difference: to me that is not an issue, the most important issue is the background of the girl, some families have history be it good or bad, so make sure you have done a good background check..you have edge cus you are the guy so she is coming into the family and not the other way round.

so bro just pray about it before you finally take that final decision cus marriage is a life time decision..good luck

THANK YOU SIR

wetin concern phenotype for dis mata?
make una no dey confuse us here abeg.
as per ur story, if u love that girl, pls go ahead and marry her.
if she respects u b4 marriage, i do not see her disrespecting u after marriage

chinnasa:


Thank you guys for your comments, question and advise.

My brother raised 3 points.
Age ( that we are both age mates and everything will change after marriage he spoke on respect and all sorts) secondly Genotype and the issues of child bearing, complications and crises of a sickle cell person. Thirdly Tribal difference which is not really an issue but the children will end up being too English speaking children that do i wonder why majority of men from the South west no matter what happens or every tribe they date end up marrying their own tribe even an Edo man will not settle down with any tribe that all his staff (men) who are Edo play around with other girls from different tribes and end up with an Edo woman though he was quite sentimental there.

guy! this girl has crying since Sunday evening and i am really heartbroken to see her cry even if i have consoled her over and over.

hmmmmm i don tire

Ur brother is right.

I won't say much, but just know it that in marriage, it is not always about love.

Please ask questions like why?, if you're mature enough make your decision,you're the one to manage your family.

Brother, except your uncle is speaking from a spiritual point of view, I think his advice is born out of fear, Do you know you can die before that girl? death is not programmed, and concerning you kids you can't give birth to an SS,Brother always remember this:
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with
those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the
disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and
recycling it for more than it's worth.Go and beg that girl.

Seun Lalasticala,help dis guy move this thread to FP

Did you "made" a misake? You definitely did... You did not attend your English classes.

As for the main matter, i see three reasons why he would say what he said.
1. the SS factor as some people have meantioned. People fear it as much as they fear diseases (although it isn't a disease)
2. the Age factor. he may be concerned that you're both age mates, and it is believed that this causes marital problems.
3. the money factor. he may be bothered that she currently earnes more than you do and this is almost always a problem in a marriage... especially when combined with the age factor.

depending on the kind of person he is, the Edo factor may also be there. the superstition about the edo people and their alleged 'witchcratism' may also be of concern to him.

chinnasa:
Hello Guys,

All protocol observe,

I will go straight to the point. I have being dating my gf since the past 6 years and i planned to get married this year ending, all things being equal. From the first day we started she give me rules like, NO BLEEPING till marriage and BLINDLY ACCEPTED (thou not a priority to me)and on the long run i was really discipline and focused on my goals in life.

fast forward; Just yesterday we decided to go see my eldest brother to seek his consent as part of tradition(South East) and seek his consent. After the usual pleasantries my elder asked my gf the following question;

Where do you work?
How old are you?
Where are you from?
How much do your earn?
What your phenotype?

Her Answers

Secretary XYZ company
31 years old
Edo State
80k monthly
phenotype 'SS'

Same Question to me

IT Manager ABC Company
31 years old
Imo State
60k
Phenotype AA


My elder Brother called me later and gave the lecture of my life and told me that if i go ahead with the plan I should count him out and he will wash his hands off me.

I have not being myself. Please guys what do i do ?


Matured minds please Thank you.

Oga Lalala front page abeg.

you've been with her for six years and you coped ,there's no need to turn back because of just a genotype..AA can can marry SS giving birth to completely normal children.just that they're carriers of the sickle cell but would not be sicklers

Longman6:
Brother, except your uncle is speaking from a spiritual point of view, I think his advice is born out of fear, Do you know you can die before that girl? death is not programmed, and concerning you kids you can't give birth to an SS,Brother always remember this:
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with
those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the
disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and
recycling it for more than it's worth.Go and beg that girl.

Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate, In the most simplest ways i have being a good man and friend to her, marriage is not a do die affair. I had good intentions from the first day i met her but when my family say they are not coming they are not consenting to it what do i do, go and rent people to fill in?. I DID NOT OFFEND HER, i did the right thing my taking her to my people now i am in serious dilemma WHO DO I BEG MY FAMILY OR MY GF ?

DeLioncourt:
Did you "made" a misake? You definitely did... You did not attend your English classes.

As for the main matter, i see three reasons why he would say what he said.
1. the SS factor as some people have meantioned. People fear it as much as they fear diseases (although it isn't a disease)
2. the Age factor. he may be concerned that you're both age mates, and it is believed that this causes marital problems.
3. the money factor. he may be bothered that she currently earnes more than you do and this is almost always a problem in a marriage... especially when combined with the age factor.

depending on the kind of person he is, the Edo factor may also be there. the superstition about the edo people and their alleged 'witchcratism' may also be of concern to him.

Thanks. no vex I still de learn English

goziem1982:
Please ask questions like why?, if you're mature enough make your decision,you're the one to manage your family.

Yes i am matured enough but i am stock between the devil and the deep blue sea

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Seun Lalasticala,help dis guy move this thread to FP

Abeg help me beg Oga Seun the matter no let me sleep

pedrilo:
wetin concern phenotype for dis mata?
make una no dey confuse us here abeg.
as per ur story, if u love that girl, pls go ahead and marry her.
if she respects u b4 marriage, i do not see her disrespecting u after marriage

Love is blind they say but not stupid. Bros except no u no no woman when they are angry my brother kneel down beg i have done it before.

chigoizie7:



Ur brother is right.

I won't say much, but just know it that in marriage, it is not always about love.

If its love i have a big heart but the fragments are shared. she has hers, my family has theirs, the biggest part belongs to God. Every night i ask for mercy and direction and the only reply i get 'sleep son i know you are hurting I will speak to you'.

chinnasa:



Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate, In the most simplest ways i have being a good man and friend to her, marriage is not a do die affair. I had good intentions from the first day i met her but when my family say they are not coming they are not consenting to it what do i do, go and rent people to fill in?. I DID NOT OFFEND HER, i did the right thing my taking her to my people now i am in serious dilemma WHO DO I BEG MY FAMILY OR MY GF ?

Brother I believe it's time for prayer on your part, go down on your knees and pray, it is the only thing you can do now, don't doubt this, don't joke with it.Anything is possible.

+ask God through his words on what he is saying, james 1vs 5 is for you,It's one of the prayers that never fail no matter who you are

chinnasa:
Hello Guys,

All protocol observe,

I will go straight to the point. I have being dating my gf since the past 6 years and i planned to get married this year ending, all things being equal. From the first day we started she give me rules like, NO BLEEPING till marriage and BLINDLY ACCEPTED (thou not a priority to me)and on the long run i was really discipline and focused on my goals in life.

fast forward; Just yesterday we decided to go see my eldest brother to seek his consent as part of tradition(South East) and seek his consent. After the usual pleasantries my elder asked my gf the following question;

Where do you work?
How old are you?
Where are you from?
How much do your earn?
What your phenotype?

Her Answers

Secretary XYZ company
31 years old
Edo State
80k monthly
phenotype 'SS'

Same Question to me

IT Manager ABC Company
31 years old
Imo State
60k
Phenotype AA


My elder Brother called me later and gave the lecture of my life and told me that if i go ahead with the plan I should count him out and he will wash his hands off me.

I have not being myself. Please guys what do i do ?


Matured minds please Thank you.

Oga Lalala front page abeg.

Topic Title: Did I made a mistake (wrong)

Correct Title: Did I make a mistake (take note )

your family should understand that in as much as they love you and wish you the best you have your life to live. six years is not child's play, the both of you have been through a lot. Your uncle shouldn't have asked her how much she earns because it's non of his business. As for the genotype, that is not an issue you are AA. so that area is covered. As for the age issue, I believed she never hid her age from you. What if she lied about it will your uncle say all he is saying. As for him saying Edo prefer marrying from their place that is not true. My ex was from there and was willing to wed me but I left because of issues he couldn't address. If she has been polite and humble to you all these years what will make her change. 6 years,bia Dede GI no try at all. Most of the questions he asked her shouldn't have been asked. Except that of Where do you work. I feel for the lady so much.In the end the choice is yours

SS? this guy dey play with fire.

Dude we are bros and I dont think it is such a good idea not because of ss but because of age it ain't good to marry ur agemate and another thing working class she is earning more than u at u sure that is not an issue and ur family ain't standing before u and let's look at the good part u guys would earn a lot if ur money is combined u would have great accommodation ur children will not be ss but any choice u make is right and if the love is there go for it we will support u