Good day Nairalanders. I have been on this forum for 4 years and witnessed a lot of users get very good relationship advice here. I have an old account but created a new account today just to table this issue so as to get suggestions and advice. Now to the main topic- There is this lady I have known in my area for the past 3years. She is a very nice girl, averagely beautiful, has a great character and good upbringing which attracted me to her. I love her and even imagined myself getting married to her and finally asked her out 2 weeks ago. She was reluctant at first but finally gave in to my advances. Immediately, we started dating two weeks ago, we talk a lot like 15 times a day, we talk very late into midnight- I initially enjoyed it but it started getting boring. She could just call and say she just wants to hear my voice even though we just finished speaking like 3 minutes ago. Now, the one that made me afraid and felt that she is obsessed with me was when she started asking me questions I haven't even asked myself like- Will I marry two wives as my religion permits me to, Asking me about my marriage plans and similar things when our relationship is barely two weeks old. The penultimate sign came this evening when she told me that she is so much in love with me to the extent that she is afraid that I will betray her , she then told me to promise that I won't betray her. I frankly told her that there is nothing to promise since nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. Pls help me? how do I stop this obsession of hers. I still love her very much but my love for her has started waning as a result of this obsession. Thank you all.

*Modified* For those of you saying I sound like a player (that I just want to hit and run) Please spare me. This is my first time of being in a mature relationship. I have great plans for the relationship but it is not yet time to begin their execution. That was why it looked odd to me as we are still in the early stage of the relationship. I really appreciate and thank you all for your wonderful and candid advice. THANK YOU ALL AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Cc Lalasticlala

Love is a funky thing.

Bro, believe me when I say this girl genuinely loves you.
And right now as I'm typing this, she has no idea that you dislike the numerous talks and calls. So be fair to her and tell her. Some people are better at taking hints, while others need direct explanations. Let her know she's being obsessive and it's unhealthy. If you don't talk to her, it will get to a point you'll start screening her calls, avoiding her and then bam, you'll despise her. Talk Bro open up.

As for d calling jus relax wit time she will outgrow it

Ofcourse based on u knowingher so well @upbringing #goodhome etc ..... Did u think she knowsu to be a good man too?whom she considers worth settlingdown with?

Then wats d point of dating if marriage won't happen? I guess she is not ready for any heartbreaking isshhhhh

U showed her love nd she reciprocate no bigg deal


My Advice: jus keep it real give her time ......
Ofcourse u started d obession wit calls so pull thru with it dnt miss a good woman cos u v not grown enough balls to handle one.....

As for d calling jus relax wit time she will outgrow it

Ofcourse based on u knowingher so well @upbringing #goodhome etc ..... Did u think she knowsu to be a good man too?whom she considers worth settlingdown with?

Then wats d point of dating if marriage won't happen? I guess she is not ready for any heartbreaking isshhhhh

U showed her love nd she reciprocate no bigg deal

My Advice: jus keep it real give her time ......
Ofcourse u started d obession wit calls so pull thru with it dnt miss a good woman cos u v not grown enough balls to handle one.....

For your mind if you feel she's obsessed and you're not okay with it, end it sharply I don't know why you brought this to nairaland

Interesting

CrazyQuinn:
For your mind if you feel she's obsessed and you're not okay with it, end it sharply I don't know why you brought this to nairaland

Because you're here to read it.

I don't see anything wrong with ur gf loving you, wanting to hear your voice, to know where the relationship is head, to know what to expect..cause she might be turning guys down because of you, so you have to show a little commitment or let her go.

You seem to be a player, you only enjoy the chase and not the main relationship. Just 2weeks and you're almost not interested again

That's one bit problem with some ladies. You played hard to get and at the end.. You bring your worth to nothing. Why not continue playing hard to get even when the relationship has kicked off? We are different from men cos we have the ability to hide our true feelings. Op quit the relationship before it gets the both of you into regrets

Luckymay:
That's one bit problem with some ladies. You played hard to get and at the end.. You bring your worth to nothing. Why not continue playing hard to get even when the relationship has kicked off? We are different from men cos we have the ability to hide our true feelings. Op quit the relationship before it gets the both of you into regrets

quit it and come date you? there is really no need for that, he should just talk with her and they should try to understand each other better, some relationships start in awkward ways and end up being the best... the lady is just insecure and if he loves her, he should not have any problem with reassuring her and showing her the pace he thinks they should walk with, unless of course, it's a hit and run relationship

Love is a complicated something unfortunately I'm dumbfounded by your story and as a result, my ideals are reluctant to be summoned for this pitiful Scenario. You should not let me bore you about my advise cos I'm dying of an advise to solve my own dilemma of love myself.

Ginaz:
Love is a complicated something unfortunately I'm dumbfounded by your story and as a result, my ideals are reluctant to be summoned for this pitiful Scenario. You should not let me bore you about my advise cos I'm dying of an advise to solve my own dilemma of love myself.

I'd like to hear ur advice for me. Thanks. And by the way, what is ur own dilemma of love? I may be able to advise you

my nigga just keep it real and simple and don't bother yourself about that. she will out grow it with time. it may take 7 months or even a year but surely with time equilibrium go reach.
my gal no let me rest when we started dating but today the obsession has wind down.

Nawah oh...

Na my prayer point be this OP problem. Exactly the kind of relationship i have been praying to have. Please can you in any way link her up with me? I will take care of the obsession perfectly and shower her with all the love and care she desires.

smileysmiley:
quit it and come date you? there is really no need for that, he should just talk with her and they should try to understand each other better, some relationships start in awkward ways and end up being the best... the lady is just insecure and if he loves her, he should not have any problem with reassuring her and showing her the pace he thinks they should walk with, unless of course, it's a hit and run relationship

Date who? Lol . well from the op's side of the story, I can only conclude he doesn't like clingy lady for a relationship. Imagine the lady talking about marriage in a two week old relationship. His love is also waning off. So do you suggest he stays out of pity or what? If the lady is insecure as you said, why not follow the guy silently and patiently to know what he's up to.? Unless she's a kid

anonymous4life:
Good day Nairalanders. I have been on this forum for 4 years and witnessed a lot of users get very good relationship advice here. I have an old account but created a new account today just to table this issue so as to get suggestions and advice. Now to the main topic- There is this lady I have known in my area for the past 3years. She is a very nice girl, averagely beautiful, has a great character and good upbringing which attracted me to her. I love her and even imagined myself getting married to her and finally asked her out 2 weeks ago. She was reluctant at first but finally gave in to my advances. Immediately, we started dating two weeks ago, we talk a lot like 15 times a day, we talk very late into midnight- I initially enjoyed it but it started getting boring. She could just call and say she just wants to hear my voice even though we just finished speaking like 3 minutes ago. Now, the one that made me afraid and felt that she is obsessed with me was when she started asking me questions I haven't even asked myself like- Will I marry two wives as my religion permits me to, Asking me about my marriage plans and similar things when our relationship is barely two weeks old. The penultimate sign came this evening when she told me that she is so much in love with me to the extent that she is afraid that I will betray her , she then told me to promise that I won't betray her. I frankly told her that there is nothing to promise since nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. Pls help me? how do I stop this obsession of hers. My love for her is already waning as a result of this obsession. Thank you all

You dnt love her...admit it.

Donnyperry:
Nawah oh...

Na my prayer point be this OP problem. Exactly the kind of relationship i have been praying to have. Please can you in any way link her up with me? I will take care of the obsession perfectly and shower her with all the love and care she desires.

Someone is in you with you and you call it obsession, if she had not shown interest he would have still complain.

Smh.

Just be the man and play along. My lady did the same thing when we first started to the extent of transferring airtime to my phone just to call her. Then it seems tiring to me but now everything is normal.

herbie27:
Someone is in you with you and you call it obsession, if she had not shown interest he would have still complain.

Smh.

Don't mind the young man, he doesn't know what he wants. People just go into relationships for the wrong reasons.

IamLEGEND1:
Communicate.it's that simple.
Tell her you feel you guys are moving too fast and you'll like to take ur relationship at a slower pace.
You're keeping shut coz you're afraid of hurting her feelings but the silence isn't making things any better.
So stand in front of ur mirror tonight, grab a hold of ur pènis. when you've confirmed it's Still there,look into the mirror and tell yourself you're still a man.
now dress up,go out,meet her and relay ur fears.[/b]

bahahahahahahahahahahaha

Donnyperry:


Don't mind the young man, he doesn't know what he wants. People just go into relationships for the wrong reasons.

Exactly!, later they will tag girls leeches, she's just interested in having a future with him, why go into a relationship with the motive to have sex undefined.

Guy chill down if u are getting uneased jus let her go koz it obvious the relationship is boring

CrazyQuinn:
For your mind if you feel she's obsessed and you're not okay with it, end it sharply I don't know why you brought this to nairaland

why u attack am na.like say na u be d girl.nawa o

firstking01:
You dnt love her...admit it.

You are wrong. Honestly speaking, I love her very much. It was just odd to me to me that she was already thinking about marriage when the relationship is barely two weeks old.

Boleyndynasty2:
I don't see anything wrong with ur gf loving you, wanting to hear your voice, to know where the relationship is head, to know what to expect..cause she might be turning guys down because of you, so you have to show a little commitment or let her go.

You seem to be a player, you only enjoy the chase and not the main relationship. Just 2weeks and you're almost not interested again

Oh dear! No body would have said it more better. Op initial plan was to just hit n run but as it is rite now his just been afraid of the consequences if he do n called a few simple question d innocent lady ask him obsession

herbie27:
Exactly!, later they will tag girls leeches, she's just interested in having a future with him, why go into a relationship with the motive to have sex undefined.

Lol....my sister, i tire oh. It's really a pitiable situation. Abeg, make we no carry the OP wahala for our head.

I'm here to learn joooor
Mine no dey even call and me self come even bone self

AmNoblen:

why u attack am na.like say na u be d girl.nawa o

maybe I'm the one

Haha..Kinda Like The Time A Girl Sent Me A Text For Our 'one Week Anniversary'.......I RAN.

Nawa oooo


Pple definition of love dis days baffles me


Ur relationship is two weeks old nd u rily love her


Now tell me op wen did u start loving her?

Is it d two weeks old relationship dat u claim to b fed up u develop d love frm?


Love is a gradual tin


It takes tyme to love


I believe wat u re feeling towards d gurl is mere infatuation

herbie27:
Exactly!, later they will tag girls leeches, she's just interested in having a future with him, why go into a relationship with the motive to have sex undefined.

You Cant Start Asking A Guy About His Marriage Plans Two Weeks In..Its A Recipe For Disaster.